by Lisa Cardiff
“Hm.” Papers rustled in the background and then he sighed. “I heard Rever slipped back into the U.S. In fact, all the evidence suggests he’s hiding out in D.C. I don’t have his exact location, but it’s only a matter of time.”
Dammit. I should’ve shown my brother to the door the minute I saw him in my apartment. Better yet, I should’ve called Ignacio and asked him to forcibly drag his ass back to Mexico. Senator Deveron had all the leverage he needed to involve me in a new scheme. For some reason, the Senator had continued nosing around the Vargas Cartel and me, both as Ryker and Ry. It was making me uneasy. Hell, everything was making me uneasy these days.
I was playing with fire. I had enough experience with backroom deals and shady undertakings to know something bad was going to happen, but I didn’t know if there was a damned thing I could do to stop it.
“That’s news to me,” I lied as a thousand curses poured like liquid through my mind.
Strained seconds passed, each one more intense than the previous one.
“I wouldn’t want Rever to be picked up by the FBI or immigration. We’d be right back where we started. Rever in jail. Evan and Hattie separated,” Senator Deveron said.
I took a long draw of my beer. “I don’t give a fuck about the status of Evan and Hattie’s relationship. It sounds like Evan can’t seal the deal. Maybe you should be calling him instead of me.”
“You should care.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, even though my experience told me I shouldn’t say a thing. Asking questions gave the appearance I cared. It was a sign of weakness.
“It’s common knowledge the Alvarez and Vargas cartels are at war right now.”
“What’s your point? A cartel war is hardly a novel event. Over a hundred thousand people have died in the last decade as a result of cartel-related violence in Mexico.”
“Yet, the Vargas Cartel has been largely immune from all the death and destruction. Have you ever wondered why?”
“Please enlighten me,” I quipped.
He chuckled. “Over the last five years, U.S. enforcement agencies have protected the Vargas Cartel in exchange for information about rival drug gangs. We’ve provided weapons. We helped him launder money, and we turned a blind eye to his smuggling activities.”
“And in exchange, the Vargas Cartel opened its war chest and funded all your campaigns. You basically made the U.S. government an accessory to all sorts of criminal behavior.” I had gleaned most of this information from undercover operatives and Ignacio, but I couldn’t believe Senator Deveron openly admitted the connection. Even after the Fast and Furious scandal revealed the ATF had sold guns to drug cartels, the media ignored the U.S. government’s symbiotic relationship with Mexican drug cartels.
“Exactly. We have a mutually beneficial relationship. Can you imagine what would happen to your family if the U.S. government shifted its protection to the Alvarez Cartel? With Rever out of the picture, they’re already missing a successor. How long do you think it would take before the members of the Vargas Cartel defected and joined ranks with the Alvarez Cartel?”
I laughed coldly, even as my gut twisted into knots thinking about the implications of his threat. “Maybe I don’t give a shit.” It was an outright lie. As much as I wanted to sever my ties to the Vargas Cartel, I didn’t want my dad to die, and that’s exactly what would happen if Senator Deveron made good on his threat. My dad wasn’t a good man, but I loved him. I didn’t want anything to happen to him.
“We both know that’s not true.”
“I don’t see how I can help you.”
“Threaten her. Threaten her family. Hold a gun to her head. Blackmail her. I don’t care. Get it done. That’s what you do. That’s why I hired you.”
“Blackmail her?” I said, barely able to form the words. Rage whipped through my veins like an electrical storm. If he knew about the video of Hattie and me together, I’d kill Ignacio. I owed him some degree of loyalty, but my loyalty stopped the minute he threatened Hattie. “With what?”
“Everybody has secrets. Find hers.”
I paced back and forth, squeezing my phone hard enough to shatter it into a million pieces. Before I met Hattie, I wouldn’t have wavered for a second. As much as I despised the family business, I never would’ve chosen anyone or anything to the detriment of my family. Now I was walking the tightrope to hell. “I’ll think about it.”
“What does that mean?” Senator Deveron spat.
“That I’ll call you in the next seventy-two hours and not a minute earlier.” I disconnected the call.
“Shit. Shit. Shit,” I screamed as I flung my empty beer bottle at the wall.
Chapter Eight
Hattie
I jogged on the paved path next to the Potomac River. I loved this time of year. Pink cherry blossoms splashed color across the normally staid D.C. landscape, making it lighter, happier.
Over the last seven days, I had reclaimed my life and future. I still missed Ryker, Ry, or whoever the hell he was, but I needed to move forward instead of backward.
I had broken off my engagement with Evan. Less than five minutes into the conversation, Evan went from compassionate boyfriend to complete jackass. Every cutting comment he tossed in my direction only solidified my decision to walk away from that part of my life and carve a new future.
I stopped by my parents’ house three days ago to give them the news. I thought my mom’s head was going explode or spin in circles when I told her, but my dad understood and agreed with my decision. So did my therapist, which I pointed out to my mom on a daily basis. She hadn’t abandoned her mission to convince me to marry Evan, but the frequency of her comments had decreased, which was fine…for now.
I salvaged my friendship with Vera. In fact, she offered to clean out her guest bedroom and make our roommate situation permanent. As much as I loved living with her, I hadn’t decided either way. I wanted to keep my options open and make the right decision instead of jumping into anything like I did with Evan and the engagement.
My professors and I agreed on a path that would allow me to complete the requirements for my graduate degree by the end of the summer.
Finally, I had resumed my exercise schedule. I jogged instead of swam. Swimming laps reminded me of Mexico, which reminded me of Ryker. I didn’t have a plan to deal with him yet. Maybe he’d just disappear again, and I’d never have to come to terms with whatever happened between us.
Despite my determination to avoid him, he still managed to consume my thoughts. Somehow he had charmed his way into my heart. The minute his lips touched mine at the engagement party, my body melted into his, and all my hard-fought defenses crumbled. Time fragmented, giving the illusion not a minute had passed since we were together.
I rounded the corner of the park, my feet slapping against the paved path, echoing in my ears with every stride. Too quickly, the timer buzzed on my phone, signaling the end of my run. Endorphins flooded my veins, making me wish I could keep going until I couldn’t think about anything but the next step, the next mile, and the burning in my lungs. Maybe next time.
Right now, I needed to keep my schedule. My schedule would keep me sane, focused even. Before the Vargas Cartel abducted me, I had planned every minute of every day. It gave me control of my life, something I never had as a child.
My chest heaving, I bent at the waist, bracing my hands on my knees. When my heart slowed to a normal pace, I walked to the bench where I stretched after every run for ten minutes before I drove home.
I froze mid-stride. Ryker sat five feet in front of me on my bench.
Shit.
My endorphins evaporated like dry ice. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Why did he keep interfering in my life? I needed my routine. It kept me grounded…in control. I glanced over my shoulder as I backpedaled a few clumsy steps.
“You can run away, but it’d be a waste of time.” He stood and sauntered to me, his shoes crunching over the gravel.
I planted my hands
on my hips and cocked my chin, feigning composure, even as my heart jack-knifed painfully in my chest. Over a week had passed without hearing from him or seeing him. I thought my craving for him had faded. The razor-sharp ache in my chest told me otherwise. “Why’s that?”
He came to a stop less than a foot in from of me, running his thumb and index finger along his scruffy jaw line. His proximity unsettled me in too many ways to count. God, he looked amazing. I wanted to touch him, taste him, and slip my hands under his black shirt.
“I’ll follow you.”
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. “I don’t have time for this. I have plans.”
His metallic gray eyes narrowed, a confusing complexity of emotions swirling in his eyes. “Where are you headed?”
“It’s none of your business, but I need to stop by my professor’s office to pick up some books.” I raised one eyebrow and smiled. “I had to drop my classes since I missed nearly a month of school, but I’d still like to graduate by the end of the summer.”
“I’ll join you.”
“Do I have a choice?”
He smirked. “No.”
I rolled my eyes even as my skin trembled with awareness and my heart bled with a ruthless concoction of anxiety and lust. “Glad to see some things never change.”
A jumbled mess of disjointed thoughts twisted through my mind as Ryker and I strolled to my car in silence, neither of us making any attempt at conversation. Words weren’t needed. We both knew he could force me to go with him. We played this game in Mexico many times. I didn’t need a refresher. It should frighten me to be alone with him, especially when I had started to rebuild my life again. Too bad I was powerless to resist him.
Powerless because of my attraction to him.
Powerless because we both knew he could overpower me…make me do what he wanted.
Powerless because I’d never stop wanting him.
I pulled my key out of my pocket, but he grabbed my hand. I frowned. “What?”
“We’re taking my car.” He snagged the key, stuffed it in his pocket, and pointed to the black Mercedes Sedan parallel parked in front of my car.
“No thanks. I’ll follow you,” I hissed.
He smirked as he brushed the back of his knuckles along my face. I ignored the tingle down my spine and the pebbling of my nipples. It didn’t mean anything. It was a chemical reaction, nothing more.
“Nice try. You’re driving with me. We have things to discuss,” he murmured, the corners of his eyes crinkling like he found me utterly amusing.
I folded my arms across my chest and shook my head. “No, we don’t.”
He leaned his hip against his car. “Please, Hattie.”
I wanted to yell at him, fight him. Then, he cracked open the passenger door of his car. I stared at him, unmoving for a few beats. For weeks, I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. To talk to him. To be near him. Now, I had the chance.
“Fine,” I mumbled. No matter the emotional distance I erected between us, it disintegrated whenever I saw him.
He tucked my seatbelt around my body and fastened it. “Here,” he said, holding out my key.
“You’re already giving it back?”
The corner of his lips quirked up almost imperceptibly. “I don’t want you to feel like a prisoner.”
“Thanks,” I whispered. I sucked air into my nose as his car pulled away from the curb and into the early afternoon traffic.
“Talk,” I said after three minutes as I tapped my fingers on my leg. The anticipation of our conversation was killing me, second-by-second, minute-by-minute. His smell surrounded me, slowly driving me crazy with each inhalation. I scoured my mind trying to remember all the reasons I shouldn’t want him, but none of them seemed to matter when I was with him.
“I heard you broke off your engagement to Evan.” It was a statement, not a question.
“So?” Heat flooded my face. I didn’t want him to think I did it because he told me to.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t like him. I won’t marry him. I’d rather be alone.”
“You need to get back together with him.”
I whipped my head toward him. What the hell? “Excuse me. Did you just tell me to get back together with Evan?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what you’re going to do, preferably this afternoon. The sooner, the better.” He didn’t sound like Ryker. His voice was clipped, cool, and polite, like we were complete strangers. Ice crept through my veins. He subjected me to his sudden mood changes too often in Mexico, and I was sick of them.
“You’re giving me whiplash. A week ago you kissed me and told me to break off my engagement, and now you’re telling me to crawl back to him.” I pointed at him, my finger trembling. “Well, fuck you. I don’t want Evan. I never will.” I swept the sweaty strands of hair away from my face. “And you know what? I don’t want you either. Leave me alone. I’m done being a pawn in this fucked up game.”
All the emotions taunting me for the last few weeks bubbled to the surface, and I was livid. I had enough. I wanted to tear my hair out, beat my chest, or throw a tantrum worthy of a two year old—anything to stop the madness clamoring inside my head. As his car slowed to a stop at a traffic light, I reached for the door handle.
“Don’t even think about it.” He yanked my hand away from the door. “This conversation isn’t over.”
“Guess what?” I taunted, my nostrils flaring. I felt like my head would explode any second as rage burned through my veins. “This isn’t Mexico. We’re not in the middle of the jungle. The Vargas Cartel doesn’t have any power here, so stop telling me what to do.”
“Dammit.” He slammed his hand against the steering wheel. “This isn’t a joke, Hattie. You have to get back together with him.”
“Tell me why?”
“I can’t—”
“Of course not. Why would things change now? Why would anyone give me answers? Is this some sick and twisted game? Fuck with Hattie until she checks herself into a mental hospital.”
He cocked his head to the side. “No. I’m still trying to protect you.” He lowered his voice. “I’m always trying to protect you.”
“If this is how you protect me, I’d hate to know what it feels like when you stop.” I dropped my head into my hands. “Do you know what I’ve gone through since I got home? Do you have any idea?”
“Hattie,” he said, his voice soft. “I’m sorry it has to be this way. I’m sorry about everything. If I could change what happened to you, I would.”
Acid seared the walls of my throat, making it hard to breathe. “I’ve lost control of my life, and it kills me. I hate myself. I hate who I’ve become. And you know the icing on the cake in this whole fucked up charade?” He shook his head. “Until last week, I thought I was pregnant. Can you imagine what a fucking disaster that would’ve been? I still haven’t had my period.”
“Pregnant?” he said, his voice distant and threaded with frost.
“Yeah, pregnant. In case you’ve already forgotten the details, we didn’t use protection.”
“I didn’t think—”
“Right. You didn’t think. I didn’t think. That’s the point. Neither of us was thinking. In fact, nobody is thinking about what’s good for me anymore. They only care about how they look and what they want.” I white-knuckled the side of my seat, squeezing so hard; I was surprised my fingernails didn’t puncture the buttery leather. “Evan thinks I’m being selfish. My mom thinks I need to honor my commitment to Evan. You think I should get back together with Evan. Fuck, even Senator Deveron called to tell me he thinks I’m behaving impulsively.”
He turned off the car ignition, and I stared out the window, studying the gray walls of the parking garage.
“Hattie.”
“Leave me alone,” I said without heat because I was tired. Tired of my life. Tired of this back and forth. So tired I could feel the bags growing under my eyes. “Please. I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?” I turned to look at him. Was that regret or exasperation lurking behind his hooded gray eyes?
“You’re right.”
Glaring at him, I asked, “Right about what?”
“Everything. Nobody has considered you in this whole mess, including me, and I’m sorry about that.” He combed his hands through his inky black hair and shifted his gaze forward. The overhead parking garage lamp lit up one side of his face, half dark, half-light, just like Ryker. “You don’t have to get back together with Evan. I’ll find another way.”
My brows furrowed. “You’ll find another way?” I echoed. “Another way to do what?”
Need and tenderness were etched into the hard angles of his face. Ryker brushed a thumb over my lips, and my lungs constricted. “To do my job and still keep you safe.”
“I don’t like this, Ryker. What aren’t you telling me?”
A smile tugged at his lips and his eyes glowed. He was so close I could see the fiery yellow flecks around his pupils. “Lots of things. Too many things.” He opened the car door. “Let’s go. You have a schedule to keep.”
I scowled, and he rubbed the back of his hand across his lips, smothering his laugh. It didn’t work. “Do I amuse you?”
“Always.”
Chapter Nine
Ryker
I held Hattie’s hand as we wove through the throngs of people rushing to class on the University campus. She talked about her passion for politics and her plans to take make-up classes this summer. I nodded and smiled where appropriate, but I couldn’t form the words to respond.
Guilt coated my stomach. I couldn’t believe I had asked her to reconcile with Evan. Sleep eluded me last night as I explored my options. In the end, I had decided to sacrifice Hattie, at least temporarily, until I figured out another solution.