by Lisa Cardiff
I didn’t deserve her. She deserved someone better. Someone without baggage. Someone not tainted by lies. Unfortunately for her, I was selfish, and I had no intention of letting her go. Ever. I couldn’t imagine not wanting her.
“We’re going in there.” She pointed at a cream-colored structure. “This is the library. I need to grab a few books I have on reserve. Then, we can go.”
“I’ll wait here.”
She startled as I ran the pad of my fingertips down the side of her face to her collarbone. The air crackled with static electricity. Shifting on her feet, she bit down on her lower lip. She was nervous. I made her nervous.
She lowered her gaze. “Okay. It should only take me a few minutes.”
A smile spread across my face, and I yanked her against me, keeping our hands entwined. She curled her free hand around my shoulder, and it was all the permission I needed. I didn’t know how many more chances Hattie would give me, but I refused to let one slip away.
I covered her mouth with a searing kiss, conquering her sweet taste one stroke and slide at a time. Her body swayed into mine as her fingers tangled in my hair. My heart pounded in unison with hers. Urgency roared through my blood as our last night together flickered through my mind. The memory of that night had haunted me for weeks—the feel of her silken skin against my fingertips, the taste of her lips, her fresh, crisp scent, and everything uniquely Hattie. I wanted to feel her body beneath mine again as I took everything she had to offer and more.
Then, all too quickly she pulled her head back. Hattie gaped at me with a mixture of wonder and fear; her pleasure-stung lips parted as her fingertips stroked my jaw line.
“Hattie,” I muttered. “I’ve tried to let you go over and over in Mexico and again today. But this is it. I’m done trying.”
Her eyes glistened. “Ryker, I want this to work, but I don’t know if I’m ready. I need to sort through all these messy emotions I have for you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“This morning I had convinced myself I felt attached to you because of our twisted history and everything would fade. But when I see you…” She shook her head and exhaled a delicate puff of air. “When we’re alone, everything changes. There’s just something about you, about us, that makes me want to take a chance. That may make me an idiot, but maybe I don’t care anymore.”
“I have an idea,” I rasped.
She smiled as her hand toyed with the top button of my shirt, and I groaned inwardly. “Yeah?”
“Come out to dinner with me tomorrow.”
“How’s that going to solve anything?”
“It will give us time together in a normal setting, without worrying about life or death or the Vargas Cartel.”
The corners of her lips curled upward. “What’s this really about? Why are you suddenly back in my life?”
“I’m not done with whatever happened between us, and I don’t think you are either.” I waved my hand back and forth between our bodies. “I think we should explore this. See where it goes. See if it’s real.”
Her mood lifted. “I’d like that.”
I brushed a quick kiss across her lips. “Go. I have to make a call. Meet me at the car.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Okay.”
She jogged up the front steps of the library. The minute the door closed behind her, I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
“Senator Deveron, it’s Ryker Vargas. Is now a good time to talk?”
“One minute.” A door slammed. “You’re calling earlier than I anticipated. I guess that means you have good news.”
“It depends on your definition of good news,” I hedged. “Good news for me or good news for you.”
“Which is it?” he asked through gritted teeth.
I laughed coldly. “Good news for me.”
“Explain.”
“Did you know Ignacio is a meticulous record keeper? He records every conversation. He documents every bribe, political donation, and every favor or slight.”
“No.” He cleared his throat. “He’s never told me that.”
“I didn’t think so, because if you knew, you wouldn’t be threatening the Vargas Cartel. If the Vargas Cartel goes down, we’ll take you with us. Consider this your one and only warning.”
“And if I don’t heed your warning?”
“Did you hear about the politician in Monterrey who was killed after crossing the Vargas Cartel?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice fractured on the last word.
“Well, let me enlighten you. They draped his skinned face over a statue of a Mexican golden eagle on the front steps of City Hall. Alongside the statute were two garbage bags. One contained his torso and the other contained his legs, arms, and scalped skull.”
“What the hell are you trying to tell me?”
“VC captura y exucutes traidores,” I hissed, saying the words I hadn’t uttered in more than a decade, not since I watched Ignacio’s personal hit team lodge fifty knives in a man. It was the Vargas Cartel’s calling card. Every cartel had one. “The Vargas Cartel captures and executes traitors,” I said, repeating the words in English.
“Are you threatening me?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll never get close enough to me to do a damn thing,” he snapped.
“Maybe not, but I won’t have any trouble getting close to Evan or your wife.”
He sucked in a breath. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t threaten my family.”
“You threatened mine. I’m returning the favor,” I shot back. I might even carry out the threat myself, and if I shared his threats with Ignacio, he wouldn’t hesitate either. Ignacio didn’t rise to the top of the Vargas Cartel by exercising mercy. Senator Deveron underestimated us if he thought we’d roll over and cower to his threats.
Senator Deveron’s heavy breaths echoed through the phone. “What do you want?”
“I want you to stay out of cartel business, and I want you to stay the fuck out of Hattie Covington’s life.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Mine. Always mine,” I snapped.
He blew out a steady stream of air. “It’s in the Vargas Cartel’s best interest if she marries Evan. We need Hattie’s dad on our side. If an investigation lands on his desk, he has prosecutorial discretion not to pursue the matter.”
I flung my car door open and slid inside. “He won’t be attorney general forever. You’re going to need to find a more permanent way to secure your political legacy and keep your ass out of jail. One that doesn’t involve Hattie Covington.”
“Why the sudden interest in her? Why are you protecting her?”
Fuck. I had tipped my hand. Senator Deveron might be careless, but he wasn’t dumb. “Because the Vargas Cartel doesn’t hurt innocent women.” Unlike other cartels, the Vargas Cartel had a code of ethics. It didn’t hurt women. It didn’t kill innocent people. It didn’t assassinate people for money. It only killed people who deserved to die. Ignacio bent the rules with Hattie, but at the time, Ignacio was desperate to secure Rever’s release.
My message delivered, I disconnected the call. We didn’t have anything else to discuss, not right then. I wouldn’t fool myself. That wasn’t the end of Senator Deveron and his threats. He’d be back, but I’d be ready. If it meant I had to destroy his political career and sell his secrets to the highest bidder, I would.
Chapter Ten
Hattie
By six o’clock in the evening, I was officially a nervous wreck. I had plans to meet Ryker at a restaurant in a half hour. He wanted to pick me up, but I refused. I didn’t know if Vera would recognize him, but I refused to take the risk. Not yet anyway.
“I won’t be too late,” I said. I brushed my hands down the front of the form-fitting red dress I paired with nude-colored heels and a nude-colored purse.
Vera folded her arms across her chest. “Why isn’t your date picking you up here?”
I cracked the seal on the
front door. “Because I didn’t want him to.” We’d already had a variation of this conversation three times in the last hour.
She rolled her eyes and flipped her braid over her shoulder. “So you keep telling me.” She leaned her back against the kitchen counter and took a sip of her wine. “But you still won’t tell my why.”
“It’s not important.”
Her lips pressed into a tight line as she looked between the door and me. “If you’re concerned…I mean, if you think I’ll judge you, you’re wrong.”
I glanced longingly at the traffic clogging the street. I wished I could slip out the door and end this conversation once and for all. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“I would rather meet him at the restaurant. I don’t want him in this part of my life…yet.”
“But what if something happens?” she protested, shaking her head back and forth. “I won’t have any information.” Her voice wavered, and unshed tears glistened in the corners of her eyes.
My lungs constricted. I knew what she meant. I understood her concerns. I disappeared once. She hadn’t said as much, but she blamed herself. “I’ll be fine. I promise.” I sighed. “But just in case, I’m going to 902 Restaurant.”
She bowed her head. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” I answered before I closed the door behind me. I lingered next to the front door for a moment before getting into the backseat of the cab waiting beside the curb.
Twenty minutes later, I walked into a small restaurant in the Cleveland Park area. Faint music hummed through the air. I scanned the room for Ryker. When my gaze landed on him, my breath caught in my throat, and my insides squeezed. Would I always react so forcefully to him?
My eyes singularly focused on him. I crossed the restaurant, my heels tapping on the hardwood floor. I paused when I reached the edge of his table. Ryker’s eyes swept over my body from head to toe and back up again. A languid shiver traveled down my spine, tap-dancing on each of my vertebrae.
He stood and brushed a kiss across my lips. “You look beautiful. Good enough to eat.”
I dipped my head, hiding a satisfied smile. This dress was way out of my comfort zone, but I mentally patted myself on the back for wearing it. “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.” He wore a white collared shirt with a steely gray suit. The combination made his eyes look almost silver. “No black tonight?”
He chuckled, and his warm breath tickled the side of my face. “No.” He pulled out the chair directly across from him. “Please, sit.”
We settled into our seats. Almost immediately, I felt on edge. I didn’t know how to talk to Ryker in a normal setting. We’d been intimate. I killed a man for him. He killed three men for me, yet we didn’t know much about each other. I twisted my hands in my lap.
“Relax,” he said.
“I am relaxed.”
“You’re fidgeting.”
“Fine.” I place my hand on the edge of the table. “Is this better?”
He nodded. “Why are you nervous?”
I swallowed hard as I scanned the restaurant décor, purposely avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know what to talk about.”
“What do you want to know about me?” he countered.
“You’ll tell me anything?”
“Sure, I’ll tell you everything I can without endangering you.”
I rolled my eyes. “So how’d things go with Rever?”
His eyes narrowed briefly. “Rever? Why do you want to know about him?”
I shrugged. It seemed like a safe topic. “I don’t know. I guess I’m curious what happened when he got home.”
“Rever’s living with me.”
“Seriously? How’d that happen?”
“It’s a long story, but basically Ignacio cut him off, and I was his last and only option.”
Surprised, I raised my eyebrows. “How’s that going? I didn’t think you two were on the best terms.”
“We still aren’t. He wants my help with something.”
I shifted to the edge of my seat. “Do you mind if I ask what he wants?”
He sighed wearily. “He wants me to smuggle his girlfriend out of Mexico.”
“What?” I blurted out a little too loudly.
“She’s Juan Alvarez’s daughter.”
My mind scrambled to place the name. “Who’s that?”
“The head of the Alvarez Cartel.” He tugged on the cuffs of his shirt. “Things haven’t improved between the two cartels since you left.”
I nodded. I hadn’t kept up with current events since I came home. In fact, I refused to read a single article about Mexican drug cartels. After my stay at the Vargas compound in Mexico, the violence, death, and conflicts in the newspapers were all too real for my taste. “Are you going to do it?”
“Maybe,” he answered evasively. “How do you like living with Vera?” he asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
“It’s much better than living with Evan.”
He frowned. “What’d you tell her about us?”
“Nothing.”
Ryker shot me a hard look. I didn’t know if he disapproved, or he didn’t believe me, but I didn’t have time to question him. The waitress appeared. I hadn’t looked at the menu, which didn’t matter because Ryker ordered the tasting menu with the wine pairing. After she had taken our order, our conversation shifted to small talk about my plans to finish my graduate degree and his work as a campaign bundler.
“So what do you want to do when you graduate?”
I took a sip of my wine. “In a perfect world?”
He smiled. “Sure.”
“I used to want to work for the United Nations.” Now, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. My old goals lost some of their appeal over the last two months.
He scoffed. “You can’t be serious.”
I leaned forward. “What’s wrong with the UN?”
“Call me crazy, but there’s something fundamentally wrong with an organization that allows countries with repeated human rights violations to sit on the Human Rights Council.” I frowned. “Cuba, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, China…just to name a few. There’s nothing like an honor killing or imprisoning your political opposition that says we respect human rights.”
“Well, it’s a starting point to open discussions with those countries on human rights. You never know. They might change. Evolve.”
“Unlikely.”
“Hey, you’re a campaign bundler. You shouldn’t be so cynical about the political system.”
“It’s because of my profession that I’m cynical. Money and greed rule politics, not ideals and lofty visions of utopia.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. “Lately, I’ve been rethinking my career choice.”
“Why’s that?” he asked with one eyebrow lifted.
“With my background and family, everyone assumed I’d pursue a career in politics, so that’s the course I chose.” I shrugged. “After everything I’ve gone through, I want to make sure I pursue my dream, not my mom or dad’s dream.”
“And you’re not sure?”
“It’s still up for debate.”
***
By the time our dessert arrived, I was stuffed.
“I can’t eat another bite. I’m done,” I declared, leaning back in my chair.
The waitress placed the check on the corner of the table. “So where to now?”
“I’m going to use the bathroom, then home, I guess. Can you ask our waitress to call me a cab?”
“I’ll take you home. It’s bad enough you wouldn’t let me pick you up.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Vera—”
“Not a problem. I won’t get out of the car,” he countered.
This was why dating Ryker would never work. I’d always be wondering when someone would puzzle everything together. I glanced over my shoulder, gathering the courage to do what needed to be done. Dissolve all my ties to him once and for all.
> My stomach plummeted along with all the blood in my head when my eyes connected with Evan’s. “Oh shit,” I whispered, abruptly severing eye contact. “We have to go.”
Ryker followed my line of sight. Then, he grabbed my hand. “It’ll be fine. Just act naturally. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“But…But,” I stammered.
He raised one eyebrow, searing me with his gunmetal gray eyes. “Hi, Evan,” he said as he released my hand.
“Ry,” Evan said through clenched teeth as he laser focused all his attention on me. “I didn’t realize you were already dating other people. It’s been what,” he lifted one shoulder casually, “three or four days since you broke off our engagement?”
I bounced my leg up and down under the table. “That sounds about right.”
Evan folded his arms across his chest. “I thought you needed space to figure out your life.”
“I do,” I snapped. “That’s what I’m doing.”
“Just tell me how long you waited.”
I blinked. “How long I waited for what?”
Evan’s eyes cut to Ryker. Then, he leaned forward, bracing his palms on the edge of our table. “Did you start fucking him immediately after our engagement party, or did you wait until we broke up?”
My eyes flared as I sucked in a breath, but I didn’t get the opportunity to respond. Ryker jumped out of his chair and grabbed Evan by the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward so only inches separated their faces. “Apologize.”
“Apologize?” Evan laughed bitterly, his face hard, his eyes dark and narrowed. “Why? She’s the one who needs to apologize. She’s the one who ended our engagement and moved on five seconds later.”
Ryker’s fist twisted in the fabric of Evan’s shirt. “She’s not your concern anymore.”
Evan tried to grab my hand, but I lowered it to my lap and out of his reach. “I love you, Hattie. I stood by you. I accepted you back into my life. I didn’t even make you explain anything. Is this how you repay me?”
I popped out of my chair, and it tumbled backward. He said those three words with conviction, but I didn’t believe him. Not anymore. I saw a man who loved the idea of us, and what we could do together, but he didn’t love me. “Accepted me back into your life? I didn’t do anything wrong. I was a victim.”