The Pact

by Dawn Goodwin

  ‘You’re too nice for your own good sometimes, Mads. I’m sure she’s great and all that, but don’t let her take advantage of you, of your generosity, just because she has a kid,’ Greg said.

  Maddie stiffened. ‘It’s not like that. Yes, I think Jade has it quite hard, you know? And I’m happy to help her, but we also have a good laugh when we’re together. The other night for instance. Nothing fancy, just a few glasses of wine at hers watching Netflix.’

  ‘I’m glad,’ Greg said. ‘Sounds like fun – bet I’d have been asleep in minutes though. These days I can’t keep my eyes open for very long.’ He chuckled.

  ‘Yes, we are both too tired for anything these days. Once we have Jemima in bed, we’re lucky if we have the energy to eat before going to bed for a bit of a cuddle – we always have time for that, don’t we, darling? – and a few hours’ sleep before she wakes up for her feed,’ Gemma said.

  ‘Well, you look rather energised on it all, Gemma,’ Maddie said politely.

  ‘I put it down to yoga every morning and my special green smoothie with antioxidants. I’ll give you the recipe if you like. It will brighten your skin instantly, maybe help with some of those fine lines, and give you a new lease of life.’

  ‘It also helps that I do the night bottles so that Gem can sleep,’ Greg said. ‘I don’t mind. It’s a lovely opportunity for a cuddle with my baby girl.’ He reached out and ran his hand over Jemima’s halo of curls and Maddie’s heart squeezed.

  ‘You’re too good, Greg. Not many men would be so hands-on. You’re an amazing father,’ Maddie replied softly.

  He smiled at her in return. ‘Thank you. That means a lot.’

  Gemma scraped her chair back, the noise cutting through the moment. ‘Is everyone done? We still have Madeleine’s lovely pudding to get through and I’m sure you won’t want to be getting home too late. Besides, we have bath and story-time to do soon.’

  ‘Oh, Mads, you should stay for that. You could do her story if you like?’ Greg said.

  Gemma looked like she might implode. It would be so easy to accept Greg’s invitation and Maddie was sorely tempted, but she was feeling drained all of a sudden. She said instead, ‘Thanks Greg, but I’ll head off after pudding.’

  ‘Well, let’s top you up with another glass then, while Gem clears the table.’ He refilled her glass before she could object.

  ‘I have to drive home though.’

  ‘Oh, nonsense. I’ll get you an Uber home and you can pick up your car tomorrow. It’s just around the corner.’

  ‘Ok, why not? Gemma, let me help you with the plates and I’ll warm up the pudding too. It needs a careful touch so that it doesn’t dry out.’

  Gemma clattered the plates together unnecessarily.

  Maddie followed her impossibly toned arse into the kitchen.

  ‘That was delicious, thank you, Gemma.’

  Gemma nodded in acknowledgement as she scraped leftovers, of which there were a lot, into the bin.

  Maddie started rinsing the plates in the sink, lowering her voice as she said, ‘You know, I’d really like us to be friends if we can. Greg is still a part of my life and I’m not here to get in the way. You two have a family now and I respect that.’

  Gemma turned to her, her smile glacial. ‘Of course, I’d like that too. But I think it’s healthy if we keep some boundaries in place, don’t you? Less confusing for you. I tell you what, I have your number. I’ll send you that smoothie recipe and if you need any advice or need to talk to anyone, you can talk to me. We all need friends – life is too short, as you well know – but leave Greg alone. He’s mine now.’

  *

  As the pudding plates were cleared away, Maddie excused herself and headed down the corridor to the bathroom. She’d had more prosecco than she normally would and was feeling unsteady on her feet. The loo was in a tiny room hidden under the stairs and she noticed that they’d repainted it from what was once a citrus yellow to yet another shade of grey. As she sat on the loo, she had the awkward situation of staring straight at a canvas of Greg and Gemma, smiling and gazing at the camera, as though looking straight at her with her pants around her ankles. She got inexplicable stage fright and had to concentrate really hard to pee.

  As she walked back along the corridor, she could hear Gemma and Greg talking in low but tense voices. She hung back and strained to listen in.

  ‘She’s doing fine, Gem,’ Greg was saying.

  ‘Is she? Is she though, Greg? From where I’m standing, she still depends on you for everything. And you are more than happy to oblige. But we need you here. I need you here.’

  ‘I can’t just turn my back on her. None of this was her fault.’

  ‘It was her fault! It certainly wasn’t yours – you’ve proved that! She’s unstable, Greg, you said so yourself. She looks like she hasn’t eaten a proper meal in weeks and the way she fawns over Jemima, it’s… well, it’s unsettling and weird after everything she went through.’

  ‘I want her in Jemima’s life. I owe her that at least. Please. She needs friends and I’m the only one she’s got. I can’t abandon her now.’

  Maddie felt cold. Listening to them, the way they were making her sound like damaged goods, a fragile ornament with a crack in it, ready to split open any second, made her fizz with anger. And yet a voice in her head was saying they were right, that it was her fault. Even so, Gemma needed taking down a peg or two. She didn’t own Greg. Not yet anyway.

  She was about to storm into the room when a little body came crawling into the corridor in front of her. Jemima giggled when she saw Maddie and shuffled forward at quite a pace to reach her. She sat up and reached out, and Maddie lifted her into her arms, all fizzing anger forgotten.

  She breathed Jemima in again as she cuddled her, letting Jemima pull on her hair with tiny fists. Maddie wanted to leave with her, run away, grab a bag and board a plane. She could picture herself living in a little village by the sea, a tiny cottage with room just for her and Jemima, where no one could find them. Maybe they’d get a dog and they’d walk it on the beach, throwing a ball with one of those plastic thrower things, then they’d treat themselves to ice cream from a van, parked up by the beach regardless of the weather…

  ‘There you are!’

  Greg was standing in front of her. Maddie hadn’t heard him approach. She’d been too caught up in her daydream.

  ‘She came to find me, I think,’ Maddie said quickly. Her pulse was racing.

  ‘Told you she was quick on her feet these days. Can I get you a coffee or something?’

  ‘No, thanks, I should be going. Leave you two to your evening routine.’

  ‘Really? You’re welcome to stay longer.’

  ‘No, no, best I leave you to it.’

  He didn’t know that she had frightened herself with how real the picture in her head was. How touchable.

  *

  By the time the Uber dropped her off, her head was throbbing like a wound. She pushed closed the entrance door to the flats and leant against it for a moment, her eyes closed.

  The door opposite her opened and a tiny old woman in a pale pink dressing gown emerged with empty milk bottles in her hands. Her grey hair was permed into tight curls, reminding Maddie of a stereotyped character from old TV comedies with her wrinkled hands and thick, round glasses. The woman pulled up short at the sight of Maddie blocking the way out.

  ‘Oh, hello,’ Maddie said with a smile. ‘I’m Maddie Lowe. I’ve just moved in, over there.’

  The woman eyed her suspiciously.

  The low thud of music erupted from one of the flats upstairs and the woman tutted under her breath in response and stared at the ceiling.

  ‘It’s a bit loud, isn’t it?’ Maddie said.

  ‘She’s a nightmare, that one.’

  ‘I can have a word if you like? Ask her to turn it down?’

  ‘You’d do well to stay away from her. She’s spiteful.’

  She moved towards Maddie, who realised she was st
ill leaning against the door. ‘Sorry, let me get the door for you.’ She pulled it open and the woman shuffled out in her slippers to deposit the empties just outside the door for the milkman. Maddie waited until she had shuffled back inside before closing the door again.

  ‘Well, it was nice to meet you, Mrs…’

  ‘Aitkens. Peggy Aitkens.’ She turned away from Maddie, then said over her shoulder, ‘You should be careful who you make friends with around here. There’s some rough sorts in these flats.’ Her eyes travelled upwards again.

  Maddie frowned, decided that a spoonful of sugar might help. ‘I’m just over the hall there, so if there’s ever anything you need, please knock. I’m happy to help.’

  The music upstairs intensified for a moment as a door opened, then slammed shut again, followed by footsteps on the stairs.

  The old woman paled, her eyes darting to the stairs nervously, before she shuffled back into her flat. Maddie heard two locks turning and a chain being drawn.

  She turned to see Jade rushing down the stairs, her coat on and her hair pulled into a rolled bun balanced on the top of her head like a doughnut. Her face was sporting quite a mask of make-up, complete with painted on caterpillar eyebrows and lipstick that went beyond her lip line. She looked very different to earlier.

  ‘Oh, hey,’ Jade said, pulling up short.

  ‘Hi, how’s things? Got friends over?’

  ‘Er, no, that’s just music… you know…’ Jade shifted from foot to foot. ‘I’m, er, just going to get milk. I thought I saw you go out earlier?’

  ‘Ugh, yeah, lunch at my ex and his girlfriend’s house.’ Maddie sighed. ‘I got through it.’

  ‘Seriously? That’s how you chose to spend your afternoon?’

  ‘I know – but there was prosecco, so that’s something. I’m just… tired, I guess, and a little drunk and annoyed.’

  ‘Oh no.’ Her eyes flicked to the door.

  ‘Yeah, I mean, besides having to sit through a terribly overcooked lunch with soggy veg and lumpy gravy while my ex-husband fawned over his girlfriend and daughter, you’ll never guess what she’s just sent me.’ As Maddie was climbing out of the Uber, a message alert had come through on her phone. It was a WhatsApp alert saying that Gemma Scott had added her to a group called Greg’s girls. Maddie showed Jade her phone, ignoring the fact that Jade looked very keen to escape. ‘Look at this. His girlfriend has just created a WhatsApp group for me and called it Greg’s girls and I’m not even sure what to do with that.’

  Jade looked at the phone screen. ‘For fuck’s sake, what a bitch! It’s like she’s rubbing your face in it.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘You know, we don’t have to kill him. Maybe we can kill her instead.’ She took a step towards the outside door.

  Maddie laughed. ‘I was thinking that same thing earlier and it’s very tempting. Anyway, I need to have a bath and shift this headache. I drank too much prosecco and now have to go back tomorrow to fetch my car because I couldn’t drive home.’

  Jade took a step towards the door, then paused and said, ‘I’ll come with you to pick up your car tomorrow if you like? Sort of like moral support.’

  It might be nice to have some back-up. If Jade met Gemma and saw what Maddie saw, then Maddie would feel justified in hating her as much as she did.

  ‘Sure, that would be great, thanks. Say ten-ish? I’ll come up and knock when I’m ready to go?’

  ‘Great. Right, I’m off to the shop.’

  ‘Oh, I just met Mrs Aitkens. She was complaining about the music. Could you maybe turn it down a bit for her?’

  ‘God, she’s a miserable cow, that one. A right nosy parker. See ya!’

  She rushed out of the building and Maddie realised that she hadn’t said if she would turn it down or not. Maybe she did have company over. That would explain the make-up and the fact that Ben wasn’t with her. But then why hadn’t she just said as much? Maddie felt a little put out that she hadn’t been invited to join in with whatever was going on upstairs. Not that she would’ve said yes, but it would’ve been nice to be asked. Unless it was a date.

  Inside her own flat, the music was a persistent, dull thud, mirroring what was going on in her head. Maddie tried to block it out as she ran a bath. As the bubbles and steam puffed up around her, she typed a message in her new WhatsApp group with Gemma:

  Thanks so much for lunch today. It was delicious. Please send my thanks to Greg too.

  Maddie x

  The reply was almost immediate.

  Lovely to have you. Enjoy putting your feet up for the evening. You’re so lucky to have your own space. It’s soooo chaotic here with little Jem. G x

  Maddie still wasn’t sure what to make of all of it. In person, Gemma treated her like an annoyance, a mosquito she couldn’t squash. And yet now she was trying to stay in touch rather than pushing her away. Was it a case of better the devil you know? Keeping her enemies close? Or just a chance for Gemma to get the occasional jibe in to remind her to stay in her box?

  All this analysis was making her head pulse and she didn’t want to think about it anymore.

  She undressed quickly, flinging her clothes on the bathroom floor, and lowered herself into the steaming bath. She held her breath and ducked under the water, letting it close over her face. She lay still, cushioned, floating, hearing her heartbeat in her ears as her lungs started to strain.

  *

  Maddie blinked into the morning light. The sleeping pill she had taken the night before to stop her brain from whirling had left her groggy and heavy. Dribble had dried on her chin and she could feel her hair sticking up because she had crawled straight into bed with it still wet from the bath.

  One look in the mirror confirmed that she looked a sight. She took a long shower and wet her hair again, ready to style it into another Gemma-ready do. She refused to turn up to collect her car looking anything other than camera-ready.

  Feeling more in control, she headed upstairs to knock on Jade’s door. The sound echoed through the cold hallway, which smelled damp and organic today. A door opened, but it was the flat opposite Jade’s. Luke’s pale face, this time wearing thick glasses, poked out, his dark hair still sticking up in all directions.

  ‘Hi, Luke,’ Maddie said.

  ‘Hey.’ He stood for a moment, seemingly unsure whether he should come or go, one foot hovering over the threshold. ‘Just on my way to check on Peggy downstairs.’

  ‘Oh, yes, I met her yesterday.’

  He nodded. ‘Right, well, I’d better…’ He nodded at the stairs, then hurried off.

  Maddie shrugged and knocked on Jade’s door again. Eventually it opened and Maddie caught a whiff of what smelled suspiciously like weed wafting through the door. Jade looked initially annoyed and Maddie realised she might have woken her up. She was dressed in a thick pink dressing gown.

  ‘Oh, sorry, did I wake you?’ Maddie said, stepping back.

  Jade glared at her for a second, then recovered and said, ‘No, I was up. Come in.’ She shuffled away from the door in enormous sheepskin slippers and Maddie stepped inside. There was definitely a smell and haze of something in the air.

  ‘Do you still want to come with me?’

  ‘Come where?’

  ‘To pick up my car?’

  ‘Oh, shit, yeah.’ Her eyes darted around.

  ‘Are you… nearly ready?’

  ‘Give me a minute.’ She disappeared into her bedroom. Maddie looked around while she waited. The place was even messier than the other day. Dirty cups littered every surface and there were empty wine and beer bottles and glasses on the coffee table. Maddie sighed and started to gather up some of the dirty dishes.

  She heard the rumble of a man’s voice in the bedroom with Jade, before the door opened and a huge mountain of a man with coffee skin and bulging muscles walked into the kitchen, pulling a T-shirt over his head.

  ‘Hey,’ he said.

  ‘Hey,’ she replied. He reached around her to turn on the kettle. He smelled musky and heady, a
lmost overpowering. She stepped away and blushed as he made coffee. ‘Want one?’ he said with a grin of startlingly white teeth.

  She felt like giggling coyly. ‘No, thank you.’ She tucked her hair behind her ears self-consciously and started wiping down the counters to give herself something to do other than stare at the masculinity parading in front of her.

  Jade returned, now dressed in skinny jeans and a T-shirt with little holes in it where the button on her jeans had snagged. She stopped dead at the sight of Maddie in the kitchen with a dishcloth in her hand. Her male friend was stirring his coffee, the spoon clattering against the mug.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she said to Maddie.

  ‘Just wanted to help while I was waiting for you.’

  ‘I can do it myself.’

  ‘I know, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone else help too. I thought maybe you’d had a big night.’

  The man leant against the counter and sipped at his coffee, watching their exchange like he was at a tennis match.

  Jade glared at Maddie, who coughed and said, ‘It can’t be easy being a single mum, doing it all yourself. I’m here to help if I can, you know.’

  The man frowned and went to speak, but Jade cut him off with a withering glare. ‘Don’t you have somewhere to be?’

  He tutted, muttered something under his breath and left the room.

  Jade turned on Maddie. ‘A proper little Samaritan, aren’t you?’ Her words were clipped.

  Maddie wasn’t quite sure what was going on. The air in the room was frigid and Jade was standing with clenched fists, as though holding herself back from swinging for Maddie. All because she had washed some mugs and offered her help. ‘I’m sorry, I’ll go.’ Maddie folded the cloth and put it down on the counter.

  Behind her she heard Jade exhale slowly. ‘No, sorry. You’re right, it’s not easy. I’m not very good at accepting help. And I am a bit hungover this morning. Deon and me – we drank too much, smoked a bit too, you know.’ Her face had softened again, the tension and anger melting away.

  ‘It’s fine. I’m sorry if I offended you.’

  Jade shrugged.

  ‘I’m off,’ Deon thundered from around the corner.