The Pact

by Dawn Goodwin

  She was back then.

  Jade drained the vodka in three big gulps, then threw her Uggs on her feet and went to find her.

  ‘Maddie! Open up!’ She hammered on the door, but this time it was flung open almost straight away.

  ‘SHHH!’ Maddie said, pointing down the corridor. ‘Follow me,’ she whispered, grabbing her door keys from the hook and disappearing back up the stairs Jade had just come down. She didn’t stop at Jade’s door but kept going up the stairs to the roof.

  The air up here was chill. The breeze brought with it the smell of car engines and fireworks that flashed in the distance, bright and metallic against the night as Halloween celebrations continued.

  Maddie stood at the edge of the roof, looking down onto her own patch of garden. She was wearing a chunky cardigan and had her arms crossed tightly against her body. There was something clasped in her hand, which kept making a static noise, like a radio not tuned in properly. Jade stepped closer to her and could hear thin sounds of breathing and realised that it was a baby monitor.

  ‘What’s the monitor for?’

  ‘Jemima is asleep downstairs,’ Maddie said, her back still turned to Jade.

  ‘Did you take her with you? Wow, that’s sick – and a bit ballsy.’ Jade came right up behind Maddie. ‘So is it done?’

  Maddie spun around and glared at her.

  ‘Is it done?’ Jade repeated.

  Maddie took a step away from the edge towards Jade. She dropped her arms and the cardigan fell open to reveal a smear of blood on the T-shirt underneath.

  ‘I went to see him.’

  Jade stared at the blood.

  Bloody hell, she’d actually done it.

  Jade started to laugh.

  ‘You actually did it!’

  Maddie turned away again and looked out at the night laid out before her. Jade grabbed her arm and spun her around. ‘Just tell me what the fuck happened.’ Then she noticed the cloth wrapped tightly around Maddie’s hand. ‘Did he fight back or something? I hope you cleaned up, didn’t leave any of your own blood at the scene.’

  ‘Like you care whether I get caught or not.’ Maddie snatched her arm away.

  ‘So is he dead or what?’

  Maddie’s voice was low. ‘I spoke to him.’

  Jade’s pulse quickened.

  ‘I knocked on the door and spoke to him. He let us in and I asked him what he intended to do about Ben.’

  ‘You weren’t supposed to speak to him. What did he say?’

  ‘He said there is no case, Jade. He said it’s all lies. So are you going to tell me what’s really going on?’

  *

  Jade looked like Maddie had slapped her. Panic, surprise and confusion rolled over her face all at once. Jade squinted, looked again at the blood smear, then beyond Maddie to the dark sky, like she needed a second to come up with a viable alibi.

  Maddie waited.

  Eventually, Jade said, ‘He’s lying to you.’

  ‘Is he though? He says he hasn’t seen Ben in over six months. But I’ve hardly seen Ben around much lately because you’ve been telling me he’s been with his dad a lot. Someone isn’t telling the truth, but I can’t quite figure out who yet.’

  ‘Come on, Maddie, you know me. What would I have to gain from lying about all of this?’

  ‘Money, I guess, to pay for your make-believe legal fees? I almost walked straight into that one. Greg was right, wasn’t he? This was all about fleecing me for money. You never actually wanted me in Ben’s life.’ Maddie’s voice cracked.

  ‘That hurts, Maddie, that you would think I was only after money from you. This wasn’t about money.’

  ‘Then I don’t get it. Explain to me what Mark would have gained by lying to me tonight. And he’s a very good actor if he did, because he was incredibly convincing. He showed me the last photo he had taken with Ben. It looked like it was taken months ago.’ Maddie could feel tears building like a wave and she swallowed hard to keep them at bay. ‘After what you did to Greg, what could you possibly have to gain from sending me to hurt Mark? What is so awful about that lovely man, who genuinely seems to care for his son, that you would want to wish harm on him? Was it that he didn’t want you? That he thought it was just a drunken fling, but you wanted more? So you got yourself pregnant to trap him? But it didn’t work out, did it? And to think I spent all those years desperately wanting to have a child, all those miscarriages and heartbreaks, while there are despicable women like you in the world who use pregnancy and children like weapons. You repulse me.’

  The words fell like stones between them.

  Jade stared at her, eyes like flints, then she took a step towards her so that Maddie could smell the vodka on her breath. ‘You think you know all about me, don’t you? You don’t know anything. You never took the time to get to know me. You made your mind up about me the first time you saw me in the park with that needy little brat. You labelled me right then, someone that needed you to save me, a charity case, which is a bit rich coming from you. A woman who couldn’t even make a clean break from her rich ex, who needed his charity to survive. You’re the pathetic one here, not me.’

  ‘How can you speak about Ben like that? He’s your son!’

  Jade started to laugh, the sound hollow and caustic in the diminished space between them.

  ‘You still don’t get it, do you?’ she smirked.

  Maddie went cold. ‘Where is Ben anyway? Have you left him on his own? What if he wakes up and gets scared?’ She went to step around Jade, but Jade grabbed her arm and shoved her back. Maddie’s heels hovered in the open air over the lip of the roof and she tilted backwards a fraction, enough to make her heart leap at the realisation that she was teetering on the edge with Jade blocking her way.

  ‘He’s with his mother.’

  Maddie mustn’t have heard right. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘Ben is with his mother, no doubt tucked up safe and sound in his own bed after a fun night trick or treating. In fact, he’ll probably have a belly ache from eating too many sweets, the greedy little shit that he is.’

  Maddie grappled at the words. ‘But…?’

  ‘He’s not my son, Maddie,’ Jade enunciated clearly, as though Maddie was hard of hearing. She had a villainous smile on her lips.

  ‘I don’t understand.’ Maddie tried to shuffle around her, but Jade spread her feet so that she was planted firmly in place, blocking Maddie’s path to the door.

  ‘Let me explain it to you then. I was never pregnant. Ben was never mine. I only told Mark I was pregnant because I needed the money. He has been sending me child support for years for a child that doesn’t exist.’ She laughed, loud and hollow. ‘I know, it’s brilliant, isn’t it?’

  Maddie was beyond horrified. She remembered the look on Mark’s face as he spoke about Ben, how much genuine love and affection he had for a small boy he had only had snatches of a relationship with.

  ‘But there are photos of them together. There are photos of you pregnant. I’ve seen photos.’ The images in her head were like a broken teacup, shards of porcelain that she couldn’t quite fit together and each one threatening to cut her.

  ‘It’s simple. I’m his childminder.’

  And then it did all tumble into place.

  Jade continued, ‘My friend Shona was pregnant and I was there when she gave birth to Ben. I wasn’t lying about being in the hospital, but he didn’t come out of me. I took photos of Shona’s belly and passed them off as me, just to reel him in, then I offered to babysit Ben when he was a baby. Shona went back to work quite soon after he was born and I offered to be his childminder. After that, it was easy to take pictures or arrange for Mark to come and visit when I was watching him. It was quite sweet how besotted he was with him. But when Ben got a bit older, Mark started asking to have him overnight and that’s when I realised that this would all get a bit complicated the older Ben got. Then I met you.’

  She jabbed at Maddie with a long, painted and pointy fingernail. ‘You we
re besotted with Ben. You would’ve believed anything I told you. And that’s when I saw my way out. When you suggested we kill each other’s partners, it was like a lightbulb moment. Of course, then you got all nervous on me and tried to back out, pretended you had been joking. If you’d stuck to the plan, we would both be free by now.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ was all Maddie could say.

  ‘I know, it was a cracking plan and I got some good money out of it too.’

  ‘But what about Mark? He thinks he has a son!’

  ‘Yeah, well, if you’d done your bit properly, he would never have found out, so that’s on you.’

  ‘No. NO.’ This time Maddie stepped forward, forcing Jade back, her own finger jabbing at Jade’s chest. ‘It will be like a death for him! You gave him a child and you’ve taken it away! Do you have any idea what that feels like? What kind of excruciating pain that is?’ She wanted to stab and stab at her until Jade’s chest was an open, bleeding sore. Maybe then she would have an inkling of what the death of a child could do to someone. If Maddie had the knife with her now, she wouldn’t think twice about plunging it up to the hilt in Jade’s unfeeling, frozen heart.

  ‘Oh please! If he loved Ben as much as you claim he does, he would’ve tried harder to see him! He has his new girlfriend, a baby on the way. He’ll forget about Ben soon enough. It’s me you should feel sorry for. He dumped me by text! Used me, then threw me away like rubbish. Then came back for more months later when he was drunk. I was just there for him to use. It serves him right.’

  This time Maddie smiled. ‘He’s probably calling the police right now. And when they come knocking, I’ll make sure they know all about your ridiculous scheme. You think I haven’t saved any of our Snapchat messages, but I have. I’ve gone old school and taken digital photos on a camera. It’s all there ready for the police. Evidence of this and of your involvement in Greg’s death. The receipt for the bakery that you just sent me; your fingerprints on my debit card; even that necklace you stole from Gemma is evidence you were in their house.’

  Jade snarled at Maddie. ‘You bitch! That is not how this is going down!’

  Maddie had a second to notice that Jade’s hands were splayed at her side. Then those hands darted up, ready to shove at Maddie. Ready to shove her backwards. In that split second, an image of Greg and Jemima flickered through Maddie’s brain and she flung herself to the side just as Jade surged forward. Maddie hit the rooftop hard on her right shoulder and cried out in pain, but the sound was muffled by a scream of rage from Jade. Maddie looked over her shoulder to see Jade leaning over the edge of the roof, her arms pinwheeling like a slapstick comedian, before she lost her fight with gravity and fell.

  There was a sickening thud from below, mixed with the sound of ceramic shattering.

  Maddie got to her feet quickly, her mind scrambling to stay in the moment. She grabbed the baby monitor that had been flung from her hand as she landed, then surged towards the door to the stairs. She took the stairs two at a time, pulling her front door key from her pocket as she did.

  At the edge of her consciousness, she could feel her shoulder throbbing painfully but she paid it no attention. She unlocked her front door with shaking hands, almost dropping the key as she struggled with it. A door opened behind her and she spun around. Peggy stood in her doorway in her nightgown, her face unreadable.

  ‘I heard shouting and a crash. Is everything ok?’ Her eyes flicked to the blood on Maddie’s shirt.

  Maddie swallowed against the brick in her throat. ‘Everything is fine, Peggy. Nothing to worry about. Must’ve been something upstairs. You get yourself back to bed.’ Her voice was pitched too high. She tried to smile, but it sat more like a grimace on her stiff face.

  Peggy tilted her head and said, ‘I’m sure whatever has happened will sort itself out. What goes around, comes around.’ Then she closed and locked her door.

  Maddie flung herself inside. Resting against the door, she tried to get her breathing under control.

  What had actually just happened?

  Maddie’s curtains to the garden were closed and she was scared to open them. She fully expected to see Jade pressed up against the French doors, a weapon of sorts in her hand, ready to come at Maddie, like in a horror movie when the monster never dies on the first go.

  So instead of looking outside, she went to check on Jemima, who was sleeping the peaceful slumber of a toddler, her mouth open and her arms splayed.

  Maddie backed out of the room and pulled the door to behind her.

  She tiptoed back to the patio door, her heart in her mouth, making it hard to swallow.

  She took a breath, then yanked open the curtains. At first she saw nothing and thought perhaps Jade had been fine after the fall, had limped away into the night.

  Then the garden was illuminated with flashes of cerise pink, emerald green and citrus yellow as fireworks exploded in the night sky, and she saw the crumpled heap in the far corner of the garden, a pile of limbs draped at unnatural angles among the plant pots not yet filled with flowers and herbs.

  18

  Maddie sat with Jemima on her lap, the curtains in the lounge drawn to the still dark morning sky. It was 5.30 a.m. and Jemima was already a bundle of life and energy.

  Maddie less so.

  She had closed the curtains on last night’s fireworks and debated taking a sleeping pill to try and stop her heart from racing. But then she worried that she wouldn’t wake up if Jemima stirred in the night.

  So instead, she had lain awake, listening to every sound, the creak of a floorboard or a tap on the window, worry gnawing at her and leaving her red raw. Her hand was still smarting where the knife had bitten into the flesh, but that was nothing compared to what was going on in her brain. It was a relief when Jemima had stirred and grizzled in the early hours. It gave Maddie something else to concentrate on other than the ghosts stumbling around her head.

  She knew she had to open the curtains and confront what was out there at some point. But for now she was content to sit here and cuddle Jemima tightly to her, breathing in the very essence of her. They sat that way for a while, Jemima happily playing, climbing and exploring the new room around her while Maddie drank her in.

  What would happen when Gemma wanted her back? Could she honestly bear to return her? What would she do afterwards? Move away like she had planned to that little cottage by the sea, even though that would mean being far away from Jemima?

  No, that was not an option.

  And was she comfortable with handing her back to Gemma, knowing what she did about how Gemma felt about Jemima? That wasn’t right either.

  Her eyes flicked to the curtains again. She had to know, had to see.

  She put Jemima on the carpet and turned on the television, searching for a children’s programme to distract her.

  Then she approached the glass doors slowly, carefully, like a lion’s den. Morning was just starting to break as she inched open the curtains, the light weak and pale.

  And there she was, still lying amid the broken pots and dirt.

  Maddie stared at her for a moment, taking it in, making sure, then she exhaled with relief. It was over.

  She’d been expecting the police to turn up all night. She was sure Mark would’ve called them by now. But they hadn’t, which meant she would have to call them. She’d tell them she had made a grizzly discovery upon opening her curtains this morning. That her dear friend had done something rash and desperate. Maddie hadn’t heard her fall, what with all the fireworks going off.

  After that, she thought she would make another call. Perhaps she should have a conversation with Gemma, let her know that she shouldn’t feel bad about not being up to the task of looking after Jemima, that not everyone was born to be a good mother. Sometimes a good mother was one who knew when she was out of her depth. Jemima deserved better now that Greg was gone.

  She deserved someone with a natural flair for parenting.

  Someone who had spent most of her adult li
fe yearning for it, dreaming about it, preparing herself for it.

  She drew the curtains closed again and headed into the kitchen, humming to herself, and began to make a cup of tea, with one eye on Jemima and a smile on her lips.

  SEVEN MONTHS LATER

  The spray was salty against her skin as they walked along the coastal path. Maddie hoped it would warm up soon. Her coat wouldn’t zip up over her swollen, pregnant belly for much longer. But the early glimpses of spring she’d noticed a few weeks ago had been mere teasers. The real thing had yet to make a proper appearance.

  Beaker, her rescue dog, named after Greg’s favourite character in The Muppets, darted in and around her legs and the wheels of the pushchair as they walked, occasionally barking in excitement, running ahead, then stopping and running back. Maddie smiled and breathed deeply, letting the sea air fill her lungs. In the distance, just around the next corner, her little cottage would come into view, with its tiny white fence and front garden full of wildflowers.

  Jemima sat in the pushchair, talking away to herself and pointing to the seagulls that twirled and swooped above their heads. Maddie was in need of a cup of tea, so she walked a little faster, her sensible walking boots pounding against the pathway.

  Back inside the cottage, she released Jemima from the pushchair, who ran off to the make-believe kitchen in the corner of the lounge, where she would spend the next hour making tea for her dolls and teddies. Beaker followed her and took his place at her feet, hoping that this time the food would be real and not the plastic bananas and hamburger he was used to Jemima serving him.

  Maddie hung her coat up and went into the kitchen to fill the kettle. As she reached into the cupboard for a mug, she felt a sharp jab and roll in her distended stomach and reached out a hand to rub it gently, smiling as she did.

  She knew it was a risk being so isolated this far into her pregnancy, but this time around she had absolute faith it would be ok. There was a calmness about this pregnancy, a sense of destiny. Who would’ve thought that she and Greg would finally have the child they had always wanted? She only wished he was here to get to know the little miracle when he or she was born.