1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Nine

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  She pulled to the curb and cut the engine. Luke should be asleep by now. Dinner had been a long, relaxing affair with good conversation and expensive wine. She liked Ed. He was a professional, divorced dad who seemed to get the challenges she faced. They’d traded pictures of their kids, talked Common Core education, and discussed popular fiction. He was a big reader and knew Woolf. He was impressed with her career. He was nice.

  And he invited her up for a drink afterward.

  Ella had a hard time not laughing as she imagined Connor’s face. She’d declined, and instead they strolled to the used bookstore in town and spent a pleasant hour shopping and sipping a cappuccino.

  Ed asked to see her again. She’d agreed. It was the most positive, life affirming date she’d ever had because it reminded her she was a woman. A sexual woman. A woman who enjoyed a man’s company and conversation. A woman who would eventually enjoy sex if she could just get there.

  The only problem was Connor Dunkle.

  Ella stared into the darkness, hands tapping the steering wheel. She kept seeing his face throughout the date. The way he’d stared at her in shock and gotten that hungry gleam of lust in his eyes. For her. She could practically feel the energy zinging between them, and she’d fought the impulse to cross the room and kiss him. She dreamed of feeling his lips just one more time over hers and his hands stroking her skin. She dreamed of him slamming her against the wall and taking her like a man possessed, hungry to slip between her thighs and claim her.

  She squeezed her legs together as arousal hit. Why did she keep doing this to herself? She had to accept Connor was only a friend. She may have done something stupid and fallen for him, but it was her secret to keep. This date was the first step of her moving on. She may not have wanted to attack Ed across the table, but he’d made her feel good. Like there was hope.

  She grabbed her purse and went inside. The house was quiet and halfway dark, so she tiptoed into the living room to see if they’d fallen asleep on the couch in front of the television.

  “Did you have a good time?”

  She jumped and spun around. Connor leaned against the wall in front of her, holding a beer. “You scared me! Is Luke in bed?”

  “Yeah. We watched Antman, ate pizza, and he went to sleep an hour ago.” His gaze narrowed, raking over her figure. Goose bumps broke out on her arms. “Did you have a good time?” he repeated.

  She swallowed and walked past him, laying down her purse. “Yes. It was good. Thanks for watching him. I owe you.”

  She waited for him to say good night and head home, but he remained standing, oddly silent. Her stomach clenched and she nervously walked around the house, straightening odds and ends. Her skin burned as if he’d touched her, and tension cranked in the air around them. What was going on?

  “Aren’t you going to give me the details?” he drawled.

  She put two cups in the dishwasher and opened up the refrigerator to snatch a bottle of water. “We had a nice dinner. He was a nice guy. Nothing much left to tell.”

  “Did he kiss you?”

  She choked on the water and coughed uncontrollably. Anger replaced her nerves. “What kind of question is that? It’s none of your business. I don’t ask about your dates.”

  “But we’re friends, right? Don’t friends share all the juicy details?”

  She raised her chin and glared. “We’re not that type of friends, Connor. You’re also still technically my student. Look, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I think you better leave.”

  He put the beer down on the counter. “You’re right. I should leave.” He squeezed his eyes shut as if an inner battle was being waged. “I don’t want to mess this up. I should go home and forget everything I want to say to you right now. I should forget everything I want to do.”

  She stilled. Poised on the edge of heart-stopping danger, Ella knew the only way to escape unscathed was to tell him to leave one more time. He’d obey, and the next time they saw each other, they’d be back to friends. Instead, she sealed her fate. “What things?”

  His eyes flew open. She waited for him to walk away. Instead, he strode toward her. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as he stopped inches away, his beautiful face tight with concentration. The burning blue of his eyes scorched her. “Bad things. I’ve been thinking about you all night. About another man touching you. I hated it. I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want anyone else touching you, Ella.”

  Her body trembled. The leashed fury of lust and want flicked at her, and a low groan rose to her lips, a groan of pure need. Warning bells clanged. She desperately tried to think of all the reasons this was not a good idea, but her brain shut down and her body roared for more. “This isn’t a good idea.”

  “No. This is a terrible idea, but I’m not in control. So you need to stop me. Because all night while you were on your date, I thought of touching you. Kissing you.” He paused. “Fucking you.”

  “Oh, God.” She practically shook at his dirty words, growing wet between her thighs. She lifted her arms to push him away, but instead they lay against his hard chest. The muscles jumped beneath her touch. “Connor.”

  He lowered his head. His breath struck her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to screw up the best relationship I’ve ever had with a woman. But I want you, Ella. I want to put my hands all over you, under you, in you. I want to give you so much pleasure you can only say my name over and over. I know I should walk away, for both of our sakes. So, stop me, sweetheart. Stop me right now.”

  Their eyes met and locked. Her arms slid up over his chest and around his neck, and she rose to her tiptoes and said the words. “I can’t. I don’t want you to stop,” she said softly. “Take what you want.”

  His mouth slammed over hers.

  It was as if the months not touching had built up between them and exploded in a firestorm. Their first kiss in the snow had been so sweet and slow, a preliminary dance of exploration and growing arousal.

  This kiss was raw lust and blistering need in a completely uncivilized world. He devoured her mouth whole, his tongue staking his claim, and he lifted her up in one swoop and placed her on the kitchen counter. Swallowing her throaty moans, he pushed open her legs and stood between them, his fingers gently caressing her cheek as his mouth worked its dirty magic.

  Drunk on the taste and feel of him, she slipped her hands under his T-shirt and hit silky hard muscles and a nest of dense hair. Digging her fingernails into his flesh, he nipped at her bottom lip and ripped off her jacket, his erection pressing against her in mouth-watering temptation.

  Ella lost her mind under his sensual assault. There were no rules between them as they tugged off clothes and worshipped bare skin. He yanked down her bra and sucked on her hard nipples, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming in pleasure. Her skirt was pushed up to her hips, and his fingers hooked under the lace of her panties and dove into her wet heat.

  Her legs squeezed around his hips as he pumped his fingers in and out of her pussy, licking her nipple, and then he brushed the tight bud of her clit and she jerked in his arms.

  “You feel so damn good,” he muttered in her ear. “Wet and hot and sweet. I should take you to bed, go slow—”

  “Right here, right now.” She arched up as he teased her clit, his thumb rubbing in slow circles, driving her further. “Do you have a condom?”

  He bit her neck, licked the hurt. Her fingers stumbled on the zipper of his jeans, but it finally opened and she pushed the denim over his hips. His hard, massive length sprung free, and she thanked heavens the man didn’t wear underwear.

  “Yes, in my pocket. Oh, God, you’re going to come, aren’t you? Come now. Come for me.”

  He pressed against her clit and plunged his fingers deep, curling just right.

  She exploded, her hips jerking against him as she buried her mouth against his chest to muffle her scream. He cursed viciously and kept up the movements, wringing out her orgasm to a shattering conclusion.
r />   He twisted his hands in her hair and kissed her fiercely. “Get the condom.” Her voice came out husky, raspy. “I need you.”

  She squeezed his erection, working her fingers up and down his shaft until he threw back his head, eyes squeezed tight, his face carved in the lines of pure ecstasy. She drank in his expression, loving the pleasure she gave as her thumb skimmed the dripping tip and she increased the rhythm to a rapid pace, as he grew harder and longer under her touch.

  He fumbled in his pocket and withdrew the condom. Ripping it open, she helped him sheathe himself, and then he pushed her back onto the counter and raised himself up, his arms resting on both sides of her body like a conqueror about to enjoy his spoils.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he grit out. “I don’t want to go fast.”

  She spread her legs wide and offered herself up. “Hurt me. Take me. Now.”

  He grasped her panties and tore. The material fell off, leaving her bare. He said her name, in a curse or a prayer, and surged inside her.

  Ella gasped, embracing the raw edge of pain and pleasure as he filled her completely. Her body surrendered under his gentle hands, his rough thrusts that pushed her to the edge again, trembling under the force of earth-shattering tension and need.

  She memorized every line of his face, every spark in his eyes. She gave him everything as he claimed her body and soul, and let herself fly with no other thought than to give in to the wracking waves of pleasure that claimed her body.

  Gripping her hips and yanking her higher, he thrust even deeper, his fingers playing with her clit, and she whispered his name over and over as she came again.

  “Yes, yes, fucking perfect. Fucking mine.”

  With a growl, he joined her, slamming his hips and taking her mouth in a deep, soul-stirring kiss.

  Time paused. Their breathing slowed. Quiet fell.

  Moving slowly, he removed and disposed of the condom, pulled up his jeans, and eased her gently to a sitting position. Ella watched in silence, not able to speak or think. He pulled down her skirt, eased up her jacket, and picked her up from the counter, walking into the living room.

  Sitting down on the couch, he cuddled her on his lap and pulled the afghan over both of them. With a sigh, she laid her cheek against his chest, breathing in his scent. He stroked her hair and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

  “I just want to hold you for a little while,” he said quietly. “Is that okay?”

  She held him tighter, snuggling into the warmth, and closed her eyes. “Yes.”

  Then she drifted to sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Beauty was not everything. Beauty had this penalty — it came too readily, came too completely. It stilled life — froze it.”—Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

  Connor stared at his test, trying to get his head in the game.

  Cliché.

  God, what had he done?

  Her voice filled the classroom in a lilting melody that haunted him. She walked on soundless shoes, back and forth in front of the classroom, dressed in her usual attire. Long dark skirt. Black ballet-type slippers. A loose mid-sleeve sweater in a dull beige. Her hair was still up, but her bun wasn’t as severe, and several silky locks escaped and pressed against her cheek. The glasses were back, sliding down her nose at regular intervals, and she used a scarlet-painted fingernail to jam them back in place. The orange lipstick was gone, replaced by a stained red that made it hard for him to concentrate on her words.

  She was back to herself, but different. Everything had now changed. He knew how soft and silky her skin was underneath her clothes; knew the muscled strength of her legs as she wrapped them around his hips; knew how her tight, wet pussy clenched around him when he thrust inside her; knew the stinging bite of her teeth and the ripe fruit of her lips.

  He’d spent all night imagining her kissing another guy. Imagining his friend, his Ella, belonging to someone else. He’d drank a beer and brooded, and soon he’d worked himself into such a state, when she came through the door he’d lost control.

  He was wrecked. He couldn’t stop thinking about that night, though three full days had passed without contact. He’d slipped away in the middle of the night, disentangling himself with her warm body. He thought about showing up at her door the next morning to talk. He thought about calling her. Instead, he took on back-to-back shifts, arriving home late, then spending hours on his homework.

  He knew he’d see her today and planned to arrive early. Exchange a few words.

  But he’d gotten caught in traffic and walked into class late. She hadn’t even deigned to make a comment, keeping her gaze firmly averted and her focus on her lecture.

  He was a monster. He’d slept with her and disappeared. She must despise him. This was the reason he didn’t get involved with messy, raw emotions with women. This was the reason he stayed away from relationships and kept things light.

  Nothing was light with Ella.

  The big red C+ reflected his growing understanding of literature. What began as a boring, torturous class had evolved into a foray of thoughts and words that affected him. He’d finished Jane Eyre, tore through Brontë, and actually went back to find more of their work. They were nearing the end of the semester, and as long as he passed the final and turned in his extra credit paper, he’d graduate with honors.

  Finally, she dismissed the class and he took the familiar path to her desk. He waited his turn while she spoke to some other students, and then the room emptied.

  “What can I do for you today, Mr. Dunkle?”

  He winced. Yeah, she was pissed. And she had every right to be. “Ella, I’m so sorry.”

  She studied him coldly. “This isn’t the time nor the place. My classroom is reserved for academic questions. Is there a question you want to ask me, Mr. Dunkle?”

  He jerked back, reminding himself she was right. He didn’t want to get her in trouble. “No, Professor. I’m sorry to interrupt.”

  He walked out and did the only thing possible.

  Waited until she was done.

  He tracked her to her car and appeared in front of her. “Ella?”

  She jumped, her hand at her throat. “You scared me! Why are you stalking me?” She looked around nervously. “We’re still on campus. You may not care, but I don’t want to put my son or my job at risk.”

  “I understand. Open the car.”

  She glared, but finally pressed the button. They got in the car, and he turned toward her. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

  “Another apology? You seem to be good at them. Unfortunately, I’m unsure of what you’re apologizing for. Leaving me in the middle of the night? Staying away for three days? Avoiding Luke? Or having sex with me?”

  He winced and pushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. “None of it. All of it. I screwed up bad. I panicked because I didn’t know where this would leave us. You and Luke mean the world to me and I couldn’t keep my hands off you the other night. You deserve to hate me. I hate myself.”

  His honesty must have hit the right chords because she let out a deep breath and met his gaze. “Look, I was confused, too, but I don’t regret it.” Vulnerability gleamed in her eyes. “Do you?”

  “No.”

  She nodded. She seemed to struggle with her emotions. He waited for her to share her confusion and admit her feelings for him. Instead, she gave him a tight smile.

  “Good. I don’t want us to act weird or avoid each other. It was an amazing night, and we’ll just move on. Deal?”

  His gut lurched. Why did she seem so eager to forget how amazing they were together? She didn’t even seem interested in talking about their relationship. The sex had been the best he ever experienced. The level of heat and hunger she exhibited and released in him was almost primitive. He’d never felt such a deep connection. But she was smiling like he was a stranger and she was trying to be polite.

  Irritation tingled his nerve endings. “Yeah. Fine. Deal. How about I come over and s
ee Luke tonight?”

  “He actually has a sleepover tonight.”

  “On a school night?”

  “Yes, I gave him special permission. He’s working on a science project with his two friends and the mother called to see if they could stay. I like these two boys, and I’ve met with Cathy for coffee. I figured it was good for him, and he promised he’d FaceTime with me.”

  “That’s great.” He paused, his heart pounding ridiculously in his chest. “Maybe you want to go out to eat tonight? Talk a bit more?”

  Her gaze dropped from his and she stuck the key in her ignition. “Thanks, but I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  She dragged in a breath. “I have a date tonight.”

  His head was suddenly taken over by a swarm of angry bees. “With the same guy?”

  “No, a new guy. Kennedy felt this new man would be a great match, and we both ended up free this evening.”

  “Oh.” She’d been crying his name as he thrust inside her and now she was going to dinner with another man. This was what he wanted, right? He’d been afraid she’d get too serious on him and ruin their friendship. Things were back on the right track.

  Cliché.

  “Great. Hope you have a good time.” He reached for the door handle.

  “Connor?”

  “What?”

  Her voice was whisper soft. “This is what you want, right? For us to move on with other people?”

  Tension drew his body taut. His heart did a strange flip-flop, screaming for him to change the rules. Tell her he didn’t want her to date anyone else. Admit he was scared but wanted to see where this could go.

  “Yes. I think it’s good for both of us.”

  She paused. “Okay.”