“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I wasn’t doing anything. It was just a New Year’s kiss for luck. Calm down.” Asher steps up to Tommy showing no sign of fear.
“You don’t get to kiss Vince’s girl. You got that?” Now I’m angry. How dare he?
“What are you talking about? I haven’t been Vincent’s girl in almost two years. You have no right to call me that or to tell anyone that they can or can’t kiss me. Got that?” I’m furious by the time I finish yelling in Tommy’s face. I can’t believe the nerve of him.
“Maggie, I didn’t mean…it’s just that…” Amanda interrupts him apologizing for his outburst.
“It’s okay, Amanda. I think I’m done celebrating. Goodnight Tommy.” I shove my shoulder into his arm as I walk by, letting him know that what he said was unacceptable. Asher tries to follow me upstairs but I turn around giving him a look that says not to mess with me.
“Don’t. Just don’t.” I turn around and head up to bed. It’s been a long day and now it’s going to be an even longer night. I know I’m just going to obsess over what Tommy said. I mean, why would he say that after all this time? I thought Vince had moved on. So what would it matter if some new guy kissed me. This is going to make my brain hurt.
Two hours later and I’m still wide awake. I hear every squeak of the floorboards as Amanda tries to sneak into bed. Just as she slides in next to me, I startle her with my voice.
“I’m still awake.”
“Oh. Sorry. I was trying to be quite.”
“What the hell, Amanda? What would Tommy say that?”
“I don’t know. You know him, he doesn’t always think before he speaks.”
“Whatever. I mean, Vince has clearly moved on. That’s why he isn’t in town, right?”
“You really want to know?” I lie there carefully thinking about the ramifications of hearing her response. I finally sigh loudly and give her my answer.
“No. I don’t.”
After tossing and turning for another hour, I decide to go for a drive. I’m hoping against all odds that it will help clear my head. No such luck. Why? Because I end up at the very place I’m trying to forget. His house looks exactly the same. The front porch light is on but the rest of the house is dark. I see Tommy’s big truck out front and Vincent’s beat-up clunker in the driveway. The plow is attached to the front, making me remember all the times I rode around with him in the middle of the night clearing away snow. Will I ever get over this man? Maybe I feel so attached to him because of what he helped me through. Maybe it’s as simple as that. Lots of people fall in love more than once. So why can’t I be one of those people. I wish I could go into his house right now. Just to smell that distinct aroma that is Vincent Moreno. I miss that smell. So damn much.
Chapter Sixteen
Thank God for Asher Evans. I was in no condition to drive back to campus after getting little to no sleep and then being forced to clean Amanda’s house like a crazed lunatic. Her parents called to say they were coming back a little early, which only left us with a couple of hours to cleanup. We made it just in the nick of time. They were so excited to see me, they didn’t notice the last four trash bags being dragged to the side of the house by Heather and Asher.
“I am going to miss you so much. I hate that you have to leave. I feel like it’s never enough time.” Amanda says in her very sad voice, bottom lip jutted out to the max. God, she looks pitiful.
“You can always come visit me over Spring break. Plus, I will be back for part of the summer. It’s time to face the facts. I will never be with Vincent again so I need to move forward.”
“Maybe you could use a dose of optimism.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Never mind. I just miss having you around. That’s all.”
“And I miss being around. I will work on it. I promise. Now give me a hug.”
“Call me when you get back. I want to know you made it safely. Okay?”
“Yes dear.” I squeeze her just a little longer, whispering that I love her more than she will ever know. I really hate good-byes.
Asher and I pile in the car to make the long drive home. It’s weird that a college campus feels like home now. But it does. Although, I’m finding out that home is just the place you feel comfortable. I feel the same way at my Grandpa’s and Martina’s. I make it about an hour before my eyes decide sleep is a must. I pull over so Asher can take over. I feel kind of bad because I end up sleeping almost the entire way back. I get jostled awake when Asher goes over the many speed bumps surrounding our campus.
“Sorry. I tried to take them slow. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“It’s okay. Totally not your fault. I’m so sorry I slept for so long.”
“You needed it. Man, that house was a disaster. It was like a tornado went through that place. That girl knows how to throw one hell of a party.”
“That she does. So you want to stay for pizza? I’m buying. Kind of a thank you for driving us back.”
“That sounds good to me. Want me to run and grab a movie?”
“Sure. That actually gives me time to take a shower. I feel disgusting after cleaning and then riding in a car all day. I will see you back at my place in about 30 minutes. Sound good?”
“Yep. See you soon. I’m totally getting an action flick.” He yells just as I close the passenger side door to my car. He’s lucky I like those type of movies. I hope he gets a good one.
Heather is staying over with Derek tonight since she hasn’t seen him in weeks. I still can’t believe those two have lasted this long. I swear that guy is hiding something. I walk into my dim apartment, turning on every light switch in my path. I hate being in the dark. I grab the pile of mail that my neighbor so kindly collected for me. I take a deep breath, fully expecting to find another awful letter from my mother. To my surprise, there isn’t one. Maybe my words really did scare her. One thing I know for sure about that woman, jail terrifies her. The rest is mostly junk mail mixed in with a few bills. I text Amanda letting her know I’m back. Then I decide to give my Grandfather a call to let him know I made it home safely. Since he isn’t a talker, I don’t worry about getting stuck on the phone for long.
“Hello.”
“Hi Grandpa.”
“Well Hello Maggie. Are you back in Michigan?”
“Yes. I just walked in the door. I just wanted you to know that I made it back safely.”
“Thank you for calling me. I appreciate it. So how was Milford? Did you have a good time with your friends?”
“I did. It was really great to be back. I got to see tons of people from high school.”
“I’m glad you had such a good time. So no run-ins with Patricia?” I don’t want to tell him but I also can’t lie to him.
“I did see her. It was…interesting. But I think I finally got through to her. I don’t think I will be hearing from her again.”
“Oh. Why is that?”
“Let’s just say I made it very clear that I would not hesitate to get the police involved if she continues to harass me.”
“Good for you. I’m proud of you, Maggie. I’m sure standing up to her wasn’t easy.”
“It wasn’t but I did it. I think I’ve learned so much since being away. Distance can give you perspective sometimes. Anyway, I don’t want to keep you. I just wanted to check-in. We can catch up later.”
“Okay, Maggie. I will talk to you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too, Grandpa.”
That man warms my heart. There isn’t anything in this world that compares to hearing his voice. It reminds me so much of home. It’s kind of funny how sounds and smells can bring you back to a place you haven’t been in a while. I wish I could remember my father’s voice. It’s been so long, I feel like I’ve forgotten what he sounded like. The only place I can still smell him is at my Grandfather’s house. In my father’s old room. There is just something about everything in that space that
makes me think of him. Being away at college and focusing so much on school work has left me little to no time for flashbacks. It’s amazing how after all this time, I’ve finally started to let go of him. I will always hold my father in my heart, but life goes on. Time still moves even if we aren’t moving with it. I guess I’ve grown, letting go of things I can’t change.
During my entire thought process, I manage to take a quick shower, opting for sweat pants and an oversized sweat shirt. I put my hair up in a ponytail, leaving my face plain. No make-up for movie night with a friend. Just as I finish paying the pizza delivery guy, Asher comes walking up.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I ran back to the dorms to drop my stuff off and take a quick shower. I felt kind of gross.” His gorgeous blonde hair is combed back, away from his face, giving me the full view of his spectacular jaw line allowing just a glimpse of his dimples.
“You have perfect timing. The food just got here. So what lame movie did you get?”
“You’ll see.” He smiles wide with a mischievous look in his eyes.
Asher actually picked a movie I had been wanting to see. After scarfing down our pizza, we snuggle up under a warm blanket on opposite ends of the couch. As much as I like him, I still don’t want to give him the wrong impression. I liked our kiss in Ohio but I don’t want anything right now. I just need a little more time. After the credits start to roll, Asher turns and starts talking about our trip.
“Maggie, I really had such a great time meeting all your friends. But the best part, my favorite of all the time spent in Milford, was the sledding!”
“That doesn’t surprise me one bit. I knew you would love it.”
“So when can we go here?”
“Calm down. We have to find a place first. Maybe ask some of the locals. I will go with you on one condition only.”
“What’s that?”
“No snowball fight! You fight dirty and I want nothing to do with it.”
“You loved it and you know it. Especially after we joined forces.”
We start replaying the battle, step by step. Recalling all of Amanda and Heather’s facial expressions every time they would get pelted in the face with a snowball. It was priceless. I wish I could have taken pictures but my hands were a little busy making ammunition. Asher and I start laughing hysterically because he is trying to simulate the faces the girls were making while talking in a high pitched voice. He is waving his hands around like he is some damsel in distress and it’s cracking me up. I am laughing so hard, I almost don’t hear the door.
“Give me a sec. But don’t stop.”
I laugh all the way to the door. Until I open it. Then everything changes.
Vincent.
Chapter Seventeen
My heart stops beating. The smile slides off my face in slow motion. Everything stands still as I take in the site before me. Vincent Moreno is staring into my eyes. Deep brown eyes that use to warm every inch of my body. My eyes start to drift up and down his body, trying to take him all in. I’m afraid to blink, thinking he might be a figment of my imagination. He seems bigger. Not by much, but it’s noticeable to me because I memorized his entire body. His face is more chiseled, he looks more like a man. The teenage boy long gone from his features. I can’t help but notice the barely there stubble. It used to be a favorite of mine. When he would grow it out just enough to become soft against my skin.
My brain can’t seem to function. I’m unable to form a single thought outside of how much I missed him. How much I still want him. How much just seeing him, standing here in front of me, makes me want to run into his arms. To feel that warm embrace that used to be so familiar. It takes every fiber of my being not to inhale deeply, because as desperate as I am to smell him, I know that would be my undoing. I reach his eyes again, searching for answers. What the hell is he doing here? I can tell the minute he recognizes my confusion because he opens his mouth to explain. But only one word comes out.
“Magnolia.”
It sounds like a plea. A pathetic attempt to win me back with just one word. Damn if it almost works. I’ve wanted to hear that voice for so long. It hasn’t changed. He still has an effect on me. A hold on me so tight I can’t seem to breathe.
“Maggie, is everything alright?”
“Uh…what? Oh umm…sure.” I pull my eyes away from Vincent long enough to snap out of it. I gaze up into Asher’s eyes searching for some kind of understanding. But he doesn’t have the answers I need. He doesn’t even know who this guy is that’s standing at my front door. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. Then I say the next words without thinking. Without caring about the damage they may cause.
“Asher, this is Vincent. Vincent, this is my boyfriend, Asher.” I look at Asher with pleading eyes begging for him to play along. I see everything click in the five seconds that pass before he reaches out a hand to Vince.
“Nice to meet you, Vincent.” He shakes Vince’s hand firmly, never breaking eye contact with him while he gently puts his arm around my waist.
I see the shock on Vincent’s face. The utter disbelief. Why is it so hard to believe that I’ve moved on with my life? That maybe I did meet someone in the year and a half we’ve been apart. I can feel the anger starting to build. That’s it. I’m done standing here like a deer that got caught in the headlights.
“What are you doing here? And how did you know where to find me?” There is so much disdain dripping from my tongue, I don’t know how much longer I can restrain myself. I had better start getting some answers before I really lose it. I’m barely keeping a lid on my temper.
“I just enrolled. I’m a student here.” Vincent says while stumbling a little over his words. The shock of Asher’s arm around me clearly has him puzzled.
“What are you talking about?”
“Can I come in to explain? Please?” There is a long pause while I try to process what’s happening.
“No. Sorry man, but I don’t think this is a good time.” I’m so glad Asher answered for me because the next words out of my mouth were not going to be pleasant. But when I look up at Vincent, his jawed is tense, like he’s trying with all his strength to refrain from taking a swing at Asher.
“He’s right. Now is not the time. It’s late. We were just headed to bed.” Again, I don’t know why those words come out of my mouth. Am I trying to get a reaction out of him? And poor Asher, I shouldn’t be doing this to him. It isn’t fair but for some reason I can’t stop myself.
“Maggie, please. Let me explain.”
“I SAID NO!” I slam the door in his face. I can’t decide if that felt good or not. The look of regret heavy in his eyes will haunt me forever. So much hurt and confusion. But why. Why now? I’m so caught up in my own thoughts, I completely forget about Asher.
“I think I better go.”
“Asher, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. We were having such a good time. Can we try to forget about what just happened?”
“Maggie, I saw the look on your face when you saw him. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you looked at him. Since it seems like he is going to be around for a while, I think it’s best if I go.”
“I’m sorry. I’m the worst person on the planet. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t. I was just so thrown off guard. I wasn’t expecting to see him. Not in Michigan.”
“I know. I get it. Honestly I do. You were clearly thrown for a loop and you did what most people would do. You wanted to hurt him so you used what you had at your disposal.” I try to argue but it’s pointless because he’s right.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t understand why he’s here.”
“Maggie, you need time to process all of this. I’m going to head back to the dorms. I will see you in class in the morning. Do you think you are going to be alright if I leave?”
“Yeah, sure. Thank you for the movie and hanging out. Sorry it turned into a disaster.”
I think he said good-bye but my mind is so pr
eoccupied that I didn’t notice. I start racking my brain for answers. Then it hits me. Amanda.
“What in the hell is going on? I want the truth and I want it now!” I scream into the other end of the phone.
“Oh shit. I take it things didn’t go so well with Vincent?”
“You knew? You knew he was coming here? And you didn’t tell me?” I am beyond furious. I have never been so mad at my best friend in my entire life. Of course she knew. How else would he know where to find me.
“Calm down. Yes I knew. Tommy helped him move all his stuff right before New Year’s. That’s why he wasn’t in town. I’m sorry but they made me swear not to tell you.”
“Since when is your alliance with him over me?”
“Look, I know you’re pissed. And you have every right to be. You got side swiped the minute you got back. I don’t blame you. But do you want to know what’s going on or not? Because I refuse to sit on the phone getting screamed at for something that isn’t my fault.” I take a few deep breathes realizing she might be a little right.
“Go ahead. I’m listening.”
“After you left town, Vince fell apart. I’m not going to go into detail because it isn’t my story to tell. He realized a little too late that he made a mistake. He has done nothing but work toward getting up there so he could attend Michigan University with you.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s what you wanted. He’s trying to make-up for the choices he made. I think you really need to talk to him about this. All I know is that he still loves you, Maggie. He has done all of this to be with you. He took night classes, worked to save money…”
“Stop. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter. It’s too late. He broke my freaking heart, Amanda. How can you of all people be on his side?”
“Because we all make mistakes, Maggie.” There is a certain sadness to her voice that I don’t understand.
“That doesn’t mean I have to forgive him.”
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