Marriage Vow Murder

by Leslie Langtry

  Kelly stared at me. I guess I should've known that. Mrs. Willard simply nodded and explained.

  "Those are all things a bride should have with her on her wedding day."

  She looked thoughtfully into space before saying, "Mr. Spitz was the something old. You'll be getting one about something new, next, I imagine."

  I hadn't thought about that. I'd been so wrapped up in Rex's disappearance that I hadn't given the possibility of another clue any real thought.

  "That means Rex is still alive!" I did inner dialogue cartwheels—which was way better than actual cartwheels.

  She nodded. "I think so. My guess is you'll have until the last clue to find him. It doesn't seem like there'll be a request for a ransom. This person wants to see if you're up to the task to match wits with them."

  "I'm not up to the task! I didn't even think about a ransom! Would you help us?" My words bubbled over, tripping on my tongue.

  "Merry," Kelly chastised. "I don't think you should drag Mrs. Willard into this…"

  Our former teacher interrupted, "It's Linda, and of course I will."

  "Wait," I said. "You didn't correct Kelly when she called me Merry."

  Linda nodded. "I know you go by Merry Wrath now. I just used your real name at the door because I wanted you to know that I remembered you."

  She was sharp as a tack. We definitely needed her!

  "Thank you!" I gushed.

  Linda stood. "I'm looking forward to it. As soon as you get another clue, let me know."

  We got to our feet, and I threw my arms around her again. Kelly was appalled. I didn't care. I was so happy to have her on our side, I couldn't contain myself.

  * * *

  "I can't believe she remembered us," Kelly mused as I backed the van out of the driveway.

  "I can't believe she's going to help us!" I said. "She's so smart. We'll find Rex in no time!"

  Kelly looked at me. "You don't have to join the search party, you know."

  "Of course I do!" I pulled into the parking lot of Ferguson Taxidermy—Where Your Pet Lives On Forever! This was Ronni and Randi's shop, and they offered it up as HQ for Operation Find the Fiancé. Well, Randi did.

  The lot was packed, which made my heart swell. One thing I loved about small towns was how people pulled together in a crisis. That and Rice Krispies Treats at potlucks. But mostly the pulling-together thing.

  Inside the large Victorian house was a crush of people gawking at various dioramas of animals dressed like people, doing people-y things. The newest attraction appeared to be a mountain lion, in top hat and tails, waltzing with an emu dressed as a hippie. It was pretty impressive, especially with the all-warthog orchestra.

  "Merry!" Dr. Body threw her arms around me, crushing me in the process. She smelled like roses and vanilla because…of course she did. "So many came out to help!"

  Soo Jin took my hand and led me through the crush of people, past four coyotes dressed as Disney Villains, past a hawk wearing a slinky red dress and high heels, and past a group of snakes playing Monopoly. How did they hold their cards without arms? I stopped for a moment to linger, but the coroner yanked hard, so I kept going. I made a mental note to ask Randi how much that piece was.

  We arrived in a small library that, to my surprise, didn't have one single dead animal in it. The fact that there was a completely normal room in this house made my jaw drop.

  "I picked this room for the nerve center," Soo Jin said as she looked at the floor-to-ceiling bookcases. "It seemed…quieter somehow."

  A man in a police uniform stepped in. He was young, maybe twenty-two, and carried a stack of file folders. He laid them down on the table in the middle of the room and pulled up a chair. We followed suit.

  "This is Officer Weir," Dr. Body said. "He joined the force a few months ago and offered to help." She leaned forward and whispered, "I figured he was better than having Officer Dooley assist."

  Kelly and I nodded vigorously. Officer Ted Weir was a good-looking kid, with brown hair, green eyes, and a warm smile. So this was the new guy I'd heard about. The question was, would he be up to this challenge? He wasn't a detective, but everyone starts somewhere, I supposed.

  "I'm so sorry this happened, Ms. Wrath," he said as he shook our hands. "I know I've only been here a short time, but I look up to Detective Ferguson. He's a good man."

  There was that knot in my stomach again, and my throat ached. At least he used present tense. If he'd used past tense, I'd have probably lost it.

  "Thank you," I croaked out. I was probably going to lose it anyway.

  "What's in the files?" Kelly said quickly. She knew I was about to cry and distracted me. I was so lucky to have a friend like her.

  "These," Ted said, "are people Detective Ferguson locked up. I figure this is a good starting point."

  Whoa. I'd been so sure this was about me that I never thought about the fact that it could be someone connected to Rex. The poem wasn't necessarily specific to me. Was I so self-absorbed that I'd missed this? What else had I missed?

  Soo Jin and Kelly helped themselves to a few folders off the top, but my mind was racing. Was this all about revenge against Rex? If so, I was hopelessly out of my league. Rex didn't discuss many cases with me, and sadly I realized that I'd never asked. I had no idea where to even start.

  Spies are used to having enemies, and I'd had plenty over the years. But policemen had them too. I'd forgotten that. And by doing so could've screwed up the investigation, putting Rex in even more danger.

  "Here's one!" Soo Jin squealed. "Harvey Oak. Says he ran a chop shop in a barn outside of town." She frowned. "Who's There had a chop shop?"

  It surprised me too. That sounded more like something that would happen in that raging hellhole known as Bladdersly. "Is he in prison?"

  "No." She shook her head, and every hair in her glossy black bob unfairly fell right back into place. "It says he was paroled last month. Did two years though, and Rex put him away. It looks like it was one of his first cases here."

  Ted nodded. "I also have cases from the city he worked in before he came here. Davenport, Iowa. He's only been here a few years, so I thought I'd go further back."

  Rex worked in Davenport? How did I not know that?

  "This guy shows promise," Kelly said. "Prescott Winters III. He murdered his wealthy wife and dumped her in the Mississippi. Got out after four years on good behavior. No priors."

  Two bad guys? We had two suspects who wanted to hurt Rex?

  "Don't forget Vy Todd," Ted said.

  I snatched the file out of his hands. "Vy Todd? Rex made that arrest?"

  Everyone in Iowa…and everywhere else…knew about Vy Todd. Five years ago, before I was outed as a spy, I'd heard about it while hiding out in a yurt in Mongolia. It had excellent Wi-Fi. Anyway, Vy masterminded a vast smuggling network, using the Mississippi River as a main artery. There were a number of murders tied to her, but the police had no evidence.

  Mostly she'd smuggled drugs up from Louisiana, on barges she bribed. In almost every case, she'd never appeared to be directly involved. Which was why it was so weird that she'd got caught in a canoe loaded with heroin in the middle of the river in the middle of the night. It was a rare catch, and the papers had tagged her the Crack Catfish. She never did the dirty work. But her number one guy had been sick with the flu, and she'd gone to meet the barge in his place.

  Kelly's eyes grew wide. "She promised to kill the police detective who found her out."

  "And that detective," Ted said, "was Rex Ferguson."

  "And that smuggler"—I pointed to the page—"just got pardoned by the governor one month ago."

  "She relocated to Des Moines," Ted added. "Last week. Local law enforcement paid her a little visit to let her know they were watching her."

  Vy Todd—a vicious, dangerous smuggler and possible murderer.

  "Where does she live?" I asked through gritted teeth.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Ted Weir and Dr. Body exchanged gl
ances.

  "I don't think that's a good idea," Kelly said slowly. "Maybe the police should talk to her."

  It sounded like Kelly was worried about me challenging an extremely hostile felon. But I knew her and was fairly certain she was worried about me going to jail for murdering Vy Todd. Silly woman. I wouldn't get caught. There were lots of ways to make a murder look like an accident—using a car crash, drug overdose, or finding a poisonous water snake in your bath. And while the last example was a tad bit questionable, I made a mental note to look up poisonous snakes of Iowa with bubble bath fetishes.

  "I'll call Des Moines," Officer Weir said. "See what they know. They might even have her under surveillance." He stood and collected the files.

  I grabbed a notepad off the desk and made a few notes.

  "Wait until you hear something from Officer Weir, Merry," Soo Jin said gently.

  I looked at each one of them in turn. Finally, I gave in. "Fine. But if he doesn't find something soon, I'm going to pay all of these people a special visit." I left out that my travelling companion might be a venomous snake.

  It was dark outside when Kelly and I made our way to my van. The girls and citizens of Who's There had plastered posters everywhere during the day, and we passed many a picture of Rex as a sparkly unicorn, and one of him shooting lasers out of his eyes at something that looked suspiciously like Basque Separatists.

  Kelly hugged me the minute we got back to my house, before heading home.

  I unlocked the house and found two cats and a dog sitting in the foyer, in a row, staring at me.

  "Mom? Dad?" I called out, but there was no answer.

  Had they gone to stay at the Radisson? I could understand if they had. A moment later I had my answer with a note on the fridge that told me my parents were picking up groceries. That was probably a good idea. My parents wouldn't be able to subsist on Lucky Charms and Pizza Rolls.

  Philby and Martini jumped onto the counter. Philby, a Hitler look-alike, if Hitler were obese and suspiciously hairy, wasn't having any of it. Whatever "it" was. She glared at me to remind me that I'd been gone too long and didn't I know she was in charge here?

  Her kitten, a now young cat named Martini, looked like Elvis and had the tendency to fall asleep anywhere at any time in a matter of seconds. She wasn't sleeping now. She was right there, next to her mother, giving me the stink eye.

  Stink eye. Oh, right. Food. The girls wanted their albacore tuna. Right. Now.

  I fed the cats, herded Leonard outside, and prepared his dinner. Once they were all eating, I collapsed onto the couch. In spite of the darkness, the curtains were open, and I could see the dark, lonely outline of Rex's house across the street.

  Actually it was now my house. Well, it would have been if I'd gotten married today. Rex had been pressing me for a while to sell mine, but I just couldn't. It was my first real home, and I loved it. His was a larger saltbox-style house with two floors, in comparison with my one-level ranch. I got that moving into his house made more sense. I just didn't want to abandon mine.

  I'd decided a few days ago to keep it as a sort of Girl Scout clubhouse where I stored my spy gear and weaponry I didn't want Rex to know I had. I was going to broach the subject after our honeymoon.

  The honeymoon! Did Mom cancel it? I hoped so. Even so, the thought of it made me sad.

  We'd been planning it for months. I'd suggested the beaches of Thailand or Honduras, but Rex was more traditional and wanted to go to the Bahamas. I relented because I wanted him to be happy.

  I texted Mom and asked her if she'd cancelled it. She responded back immediately, agreeing and that she and Dad would be home soon. The thought of food sounded nice, but I didn't think I could eat. Exhaustion was creeping into my bones. I was heartsick and physically tired.

  My name should be Merry Ferguson right now. But it wasn't. I was still Merry Wrath, single woman.

  Leonard jumped onto the couch and climbed awkwardly onto my lap. We'd been working on stopping this behavior because I looked like a daddy longlegs spider with a rat sitting on me. The dog settled and whimpered, nosing my hand for attention.

  Not to be outdone, Philby jumped onto the back of the couch and settled around my shoulders like a living fur stole. Martini looked at us, belched, and trotted toward the bedroom. I thought she had the right idea.

  Somewhere along the line, I passed out. I think my parents came home and tried to wake me but gave up. My body was melded to the couch. Getting up now, even to go to my room, would probably result in me not being able to sleep for the rest of the night, so I stayed put.

  I woke up a few hours later. My legs had gone to sleep and were wet with dog drool, and my shoulders felt like they were being crushed. I gently nudged the animals off of me. Actually, I kind of slid out from under them as they slept.

  I stood up, and forgetting that my legs were asleep, fell over. Getting myself into a sitting position on the floor, I rubbed both legs vigorously in an attempt to regain feeling and in hopes of someday walking again.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flicker of light out the window. Probably just car headlights. We lived on the corner of an intersection. I reached up and turned off the lamp before forcing my legs into a standing position. A tingling sensation ran the length of my muscles, and I regained use.

  There was that flicker again. I stared at it out the window. There was a light. And it was coming from Rex's living room! He was home!

  I'd never moved so quickly in my life. By the time my front door clicked shut behind me, I was across the street, walking up the driveway to Rex's house. The front door was slightly open, but it wouldn't have stopped me if it was locked.

  I slid into the front hall just as the light in the living room on my right went out. I was beginning to regret my laziness at having Rex install a switch upstairs that controlled the lights downstairs. It seemed like a genius idea at the time, but now the fact that I couldn't be bothered to go downstairs and turn the lights out was coming back to haunt me.

  Excitement turned to fear as I dropped to the floor and waited. What was I doing? I knew better than to charge into an unknown situation half-cocked. All I could do was listen. If it was Rex, we'd have a laugh about this, after I let him have it.

  But if it wasn't, I needed to be prepared to handle whatever came my way. Were the kidnappers back? If so, they were soon going to be dead kidnappers.

  Footsteps moved impatiently upstairs. Someone was going from room to room, throwing open drawers and closets. They made no other sound, so I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman.

  Whoever it was, they only had one way out of the house—the stairs. Or the window if I surprised them. The fact that they'd be thrown through it instead of climbing out of it was a small detail.

  This left me with two choices—going upstairs or waiting until they came down. I was pretty sure it was only one person. Not that it mattered. I could take down a charging elephant at this point.

  The footfalls stopped. There was no sound for a second or two. That made my decision for me as I quietly mounted the stairs. The inner boards often creaked, so I kept my feet to one side or the other as I made my way toward the second floor.

  I was kinda-sorta living here now, while still keeping my house across the street until I decided what to do with it. Rex and I had redone the bedroom so it wasn't so masculine. He drew the line at Dora the Explorer sheets though. And half of the stuff in the bathroom was now mine. But at this point, I still lived across the street, and my last name was still Wrath.

  As my eyes came level with the next floor, I noticed it was dark. Did the intruder have a flashlight? If so, why turn on the living room light earlier? That didn't make any sense. It could be a stupid criminal, which was my personal favorite.

  What if this wasn't the kidnapper at all? What if it was just a random burglary? The wedding notice had been in the paper, and according to that, we'd be out of the country by now. Bad guys often robbed houses after a wedding because there wer
e usually a lot of gifts there. Which was why all of ours were in my basement, surrounded by booby traps.

  Gifts. We'd registered at a department store in Des Moines. That was a fun day. After picking out a giant flamingo statue and forks that looked like trees, Rex gently took me off the detail, instead giving me one assignment. The collapsible TV tray tables. I spent hours winnowing it down to two different sets. One was dark mahogany, and the other was modern steel with blaze orange plastic tops. In the end, Rex chose the wood set. Said it matched the wood floors in the living room. He didn't know that I secretly bought the orange ones and had them sent to my house.

  A grunt of frustration brought me back to the task at hand. The closet door in the guest room closed with a click. So that was where the bastard was. Very carefully, I made my way up the rest of the stairs and down the hall until I was right outside the door to that room.

  Now what? I didn't have a weapon on me. I'd left the house too soon for that. And Rex most likely had his service weapon on him. And if he hadn't, it would take too much time to retrieve it from our bedroom closet, and there was the risk that I'd make noise in the process.

  Our bedroom closet.

  I started to choke up. Focus, Merry! Someone's in your house! That was all it took to change melancholy to murderously angry.

  Footsteps moved toward me, and I plastered myself to the wall outside the room. A dark shadow stepped through the doorway, and once past me, I grabbed the intruder's arm, bent it behind his back, and shoved him face first into the wall.

  The satisfying crunch and scream was definitely female. I flicked on the hall light with my other hand, and there, standing in a position I'd often fantasized about, was none other than Juliette Dowd.

  CHAPTER SIX

  "Get off of me!" the angry redhead shrieked. She side-eyed me and shrieked again. "I'll sue you for assault and battery!"

  I released her. "After breaking into my house in the middle of the night? Not likely."