All I Want... Is You

by Shakir Rashaan

  “She said something about it, but she didn’t say what it was exactly. She would only say that it would take some of the power away from Tina once you told me.” I explained to him.

  Truthfully, I had no idea what he was about to tell me. The only thing I could do was listen and brace for whatever it was.

  “I’m not gonna lie, Cori, I’m taking a big risk even talking about this with you, but I feel like I can trust you,” he said, looking like a teenager about to reveal his first crush.

  “D, you can trust me; tell me what it is. I am here with you, aren’t I?” I stared at him, trying to get him to understand.

  I placed my hands over his to keep him calm. I’d never seen him so nervous about anything. It was sexy-cute; to know that I was being let inside of such an intimate and vulnerable side to him was intoxicatingly delicious.

  I understood his hesitation; we’ve known each other for only a matter of days, and I’ve already given my body to him. It was only a matter of time before my heart would belong to him, too, and a gesture like what he was in the midst of doing was a sure-fire way to expedite that process.

  “Okay, here goes.” Derrick sat up in his chair to get himself together. “I want my own studio, state-of-the-art equipment, and not what RP gives me here. I want to be able to do work for RP and other clients without having to worry about being on loan. I love RP, I don’t want to leave it, but I also want to make my own money.”

  “What’s so silly about that? It sounds like a wonderful idea!” I lit up. I was relieved that it wasn’t something else that would have really thrown me for a loop. Then I narrowed my eyes and whispered low enough for him to hear, “And when you do, you can do a special set for me... you know, some nude and lingerie modeling for you?”

  The devilish grin that spread across his face was enough to make me blush, but he gave me this look like he wasn’t finished purging.

  “But here’s the thing,” Derrick went further. “Tina overheard me telling Stacy one day while we were in the studio and she’s been using it as leverage to get me to sleep with her ever since.”

  So that’s what the messages were all about?, I finally put that piece of the puzzle together. No wonder Tina has been such a relentless little bitch. Does she honestly think that she is the only one who can come up with the money to back his dreams?

  “Derrick?”

  “What is it, Cori?”

  “Is that one of the reasons why Stacy cheated on you? Did she think that you wanted to sleep with Tina?” I asked.

  “Yes to both questions.” Derrick answered, his eyes keeping contact with mine. “No matter

  what I said, someone else had her ear, saying something different.”

  I’d been there before, so I could understand where he was coming from. Troy thought I was fucking one of the would-be producers before the last album deal went sour.

  “I don’t know, but she believed who she wanted to believe, and there was nothing I could do to change her mind,” Derrick kept shaking his head, as if he were trying to figure it out all over again. “Tina won’t let up, and she’s using my skills with women against me, and since women are always around me, I only have myself to blame. That’s why I’m telling you everything now, so I don’t have to deal with this madness.”

  “Why are you blaming yourself?”

  “Because it is my fault, if I’m honest with myself… a lot of shit wouldn’t have gotten this far if I had let her down easy.” he told me. “It’s not like I don’t deserve it. I don’t even like what I’m feeling right now.”

  “What are you feeling, D?” I asked, forcing him to look at me.

  “Cori… after all the bullshit that I went through with Stacy, I’m afraid to fall in love.” Derrick finally confessed. I’d never seen him so vulnerable.

  “It can be wonderful, D, especially if you’re with the right woman,” I tried to explain to him.

  “No, I don’t like the loss of control of my emotions, Cori,” he steeled himself, almost as if he was trying to regain control. “I fall in love easily, and I’ve done this too many times before, and my heart can only take so much. I’m sitting here sounding like a weak ass buster because another woman ripped me to shreds.”

  “Look at me, D,” I started, refusing to let him slip from me. “Am I the one you want? Is that why you’re sounding like this?”

  Derrick tried to look away from me, but after a few seconds, his eyes focused and locked with mine. “Yes, Cori, I want you. It’s scaring me to death to say it, but, yes I do.”

  “How are you so sure?” I asked, a little scared of the answer.

  I saw the familiar smirk that made me warm inside. “Cori, I turned down a lot of women when I was at a club with my boys the night that I saw you and Tracie. I even ended up sleeping with a woman that lied to me and told me she was married after I fucked her.”

  That widened my eyes after hearing that. He was being bluntly honest, and I wasn’t sure how to handle what he was dishing out.

  “I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not exactly proud of, but the one thing that I’ve never done is lie to the women that I date,” he continued. “If I say that you’re the only one I’m dating, then you’re the only one I’m with. If I’m with another woman when I meet you, then I’m telling you straight up so you can make up your mind to deal with me or not.”

  “Damn, you’re laying it all out there, D.” I confessed, overwhelmed by what I was hearing. “So, is there someone else?”

  “There is no one else right now.” Derrick leveled with me. “If I get too low between women, Toni and I usually kick it a lot.”

  “Speaking of Toni,” I had questions in my mind regarding her that I wanted to ask her when we got together later in the day. “I get the feeling that you two are close… I mean, really close.”

  “Yeah, we are really close,” Derrick answered. “In fact, you’re probably the second woman that she’s ever really approved of, to be honest.”

  Now, that was interesting. My mind went back to the conversation that she and I had while we were still in the studio. I’m sure that Derrick heard a lot of it, but what he probably didn’t suspect was that Toni and I were in close proximity to each other.

  It’s not like I wasn’t bisexual or anything like that; I had a few girlfriends in college, so I could feel when another woman was into me, and vice versa. Being in the music industry, sometimes you do have those women that may try you, and considering that it’s the new hotness to be into women as much as men nowadays, it wouldn’t be a shock if Toni was feeling me.

  And I was definitely feeling her. How could I not? She exudes her own sensuality that I wouldn’t mind getting a taste of.

  In my wildest dreams… never mind, I don’t want to think about it right now.

  “Well, I’m glad that I held up to her standards,” I said with a slick grin, which completely confused him. I changed the subject, “So, you know I’m feeling you, and I know you’re feeling me, so what do we do now?”

  “All I want right now is for us to keep going the way we are, because you’re right, I’m feeling you… I’m really feeling you.” he replied, holding his hands over mine. “We can let things flow from there.”

  As we walked out to his truck, I felt him relax more and his demeanor changed.

  “So, can I take your baby to go see Toni after I drop you off? I promise I’ll be gentle with her.” I teased him while getting in the driver’s seat.

  A sistah could get used to this.

  “You better be, or I may have to put you over my knee.” he said to me, winking and kissing me on the neck. “I have a shoot to do with a crew a little later today, but I’m taking one of the company cars down and back. Oh, and tell Toni that I said hello, too.”

  ~Derrick~

  “Derrick, this is T-Money.”

  From the minute that we shook hands, I knew this was going to be an interesting day.

  T-Money was a part of a rap group called MNPL, which meant
Money First, Play Later (well, actually it’s more Pussy Later, but their label wanted to try and market them mainstream). They were up-and-comers, which really meant they were local trying to find an audience so the label could take them out of Atlanta. But as far as I was concerned, they really weren’t even half the group that they thought they were.

  But these young little chicken heads seem to be feeling the group, so it was my job to make them look presentable.

  Too bad you can’t take the hood out of the nigga… especially when this nigga is busy acting like he got some class or something.

  “Aye, nigga, you the one tryn’a put the cover together?” he sized me up the minute he spoke. “Aye, look, make sure you get me solo with a lotta hoes, bruh.”

  It was all I could do but shake my head. Call me uppity or whatever, but ghetto doesn’t work for me.

  “I’m going with the format that your label wants to rock with, bruh.” I made it clear to him. He looked at me sideways, acting like he didn’t want to hear what I was telling him, but he’s not the one signing the check, so, it’s whatever for him.

  He responded to my answer by trying to clown me in front of the rest of the group. “Hey, look, this off-brand nigga tryn’a act all corporate and shit.”

  Yeah, my girls will really love working with this dude.

  “Yeah, and unless you follow my cues during this shoot, this off-brand nigga is gonna have to work miracles making your tatted-up Juvenile reject sounding ass look anything close to what your label needs to even market you to sell CDs.” I came back at him, my face not showing the disdain that was seriously growing for this punk-ass bitch. “Remember, money first, pussy later, right? Got either one, nigga?”

  The reaction to that play on words was the laughter of the rest of the group laughing and waiting for the comeback from T-Money.

  I was a little curious to see what he had for me on the comeback, because I had a lot more where that came from. I don’t think he quite knew what he was ready to roll with.

  But all dude did was blow me off the minute he saw Alexis, Lita and the rest of the girls getting out of their cars. I saw his eyes and I already knew that he would be the one that would have to check his dick at the door.

  Why does it always have to be the ugly ones that think they can play above their field level?

  What a disappointment, and I was really looking forward to the challenge.

  Lita got to me first, kissing my neck and pressing into me as I hugged her.

  “Did you miss me?” she teased.

  “Of course I did, baby,” I teased back, lightly tapping her on her ass before we broke our embrace. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw salivating wannabe ballers thinking that these women were going to be easy.

  They had another thing coming.

  Alexis followed suit, leading me to believe that they’d been having some rather extensive conversations about me.

  I didn’t know whether to be scared or flattered.

  I voted for a combination of both.

  “So, are these the guys we’re working with today?” she asked, sizing up one of the group members next to T-Money. I think his stage name was 4Play or something. “He’s sexy, D, I think I wanna work with him.”

  That put a frown on T-Money’s face, like he was supposed to have first dibs on the women that come around them.

  Lita picked up on the negativity on him and walked over to the other member of the group, L-Dove. I was trying to stifle a laugh when I saw T-Money’s expression, but to say I failed would be an understatement. My models knew me well, and they picked up on a bad vibe as well as anyone on a shoot.

  I almost wanted to put ol’ boy out of his misery, tell his label that I can’t shoot with him today and I can reschedule for a time the next week, but I really didn’t feel like dealing with him next week, either.

  This dude was bad news, and the sooner I could get him off my vibe and away from the models, the better.

  So, to keep the client happy and to keep the big baby from feeling left out, I whispered into Lita’s ear, “Do any of your girls feel like doing charity work today? I’m sure I can make it worth the trouble.”

  She smirked at me, licking her lips at the suggestion that I left. “Yeah, I think I can convince one of the girls to help ol’ boy out. But I wanna watch whatever you do to the poor girl.”

  “I’m supposed to be a good boy now, remember?” I tried to stick to my guns, but Lita still wasn’t having it.

  She slipped her fingers around my ear and stared into my eyes, making sure she had my attention. I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her, but I knew that wouldn’t be the move to make because the other models would take exception.

  I hated how weak she could make me, but I couldn’t help but love the way it made me feel.

  I knew this was going to be a trying day, but damn, I didn’t expect all this to happen today.

  Lita could tell the effect she had on me, but she didn’t take advantage of it. I know what she wanted to do, and I was willing to let her do it because I needed to keep the flow casual and flirty, but I needed to do it privately.

  She finally pulled away from me, holding my gaze the entire time. I winked at her, letting her know that I still kept her on speed dial… just in case.

  “Okay, good boy, make sure that the shoot you do for free is worth every penny, okay?” Lita answered. “With the attitude on this dude has on his face because we didn’t choose him first, it’s gonna cost you a long session.”

  ~Cori~

  I needed some girl on girl bonding time.

  Sometimes, being around the group can be a drain, especially since things weren’t so hot between Tracie and me. I mean, I could have kicked it with Kyra or Candace, but it wouldn’t have felt the same. It was hard to explain, but I wanted to be around Toni.

  Even though Derrick was the commonality that bonded us, she was a welcome distraction from all the madness that we were dealing with. The signing was in a few days (to let Toni tell it), and it had most of us on edge counting down the clock.

  But there was something else between us. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but I figured that we needed to figure out exactly what drew us to each other so quickly.

  “Hey, girl, I figured we needed to get together sooner instead of later.” I told Toni as she let me in the house. “I’m still a little on edge considering everything that’s happening the next few days.”

  “You sound like I do right now.” Toni replied as she walked from the pool area in the backyard. It was a particularly warm day today, and she had a sarong on, leaving so little to the imagination that I couldn’t help but stare at her. “Between the funeral and your signing, it’s going to be a crazy few days.”

  Damn, I didn’t want to think about the funeral, but I knew that there was no choice but to deal with it. I knew it sounded selfish of me, but I was glad that the signing was going to happen before the funeral. Mr. Parker and Mr. Richton pushed the meeting up to tomorrow so that they could support Derrick during the funeral. It made me feel good to know that the owners of the label were so in tune with their employees.

  Toni led me out to the backyard to where she was sunbathing, and the minute that she took off the sarong to show off the bikini that she wore underneath, it was all I could do to keep my composure. It was as if she was showing off for my benefit, but I didn’t want to delude myself.

  But it was such a lovely sight, I didn’t care if I was seeing things or not, I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

  “So, what’s on your mind, Cori? I could feel a vibe on you the minute I saw you at the door,” Toni asked me, which put me in a different frame of mind from the more decadent thoughts that I had.

  “I feel like I’ll be out of place at the funeral, Toni. I mean, it’s not like I knew Omar at all.” I told her, feeling like I wanted to avoid the conversation. “I mean, what do I do? I’m not even sure that I should do anything more than to be a friend to support right now.”
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  Toni sat me down in one of the chairs by the bar, sitting across from me. She studied my expressions, which had me blushing and flushed because I didn’t want her to be able to read me so easily.

  “I think D will back me up when I say this, so I’m just gonna cut to the chase: you are going to be with Derrick at the funeral.” Toni gave me this look like she wanted to rip me to shreds. “You can act like you’re not more than what you are to him, but I know differently. I know my baby, and he’s just as into you as I am.”

  “I know, Toni, but I just didn’t want to… what did you just say???” I knew I wasn’t drinking, and I wanted to believe that she might have been having a few while the sun was making love to her body.

  Needless to say, my mind swirled and I prayed that this wasn’t really happening… at least not yet.

  “Cori, don’t flex like you haven’t been feeling the vibe between us,” Toni stepped closer to me,

  causing my heart to race. “I wanted to say something at the party, but I wasn’t sure how you flowed until now.”

  My mind was still swimming.

  I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  Toni moved close enough to kiss me, her scent invading my senses and taking me hostage before I could put up a fight.

  “But, what about Derrick, Toni?” I tried to protest.

  Toni blew past that small attempt at a roadblock like it was paper-thin.

  To tell the truth, it was even thinner than that.

  “What about Derrick?” Toni repeated my question. “Look, Cori, I like you, and I think there’s a chance there could be more than that, and there are things that D knows that you might not be in the know about just yet.”

  She kissed me, and my body ignited. The way she touched my body gave me a sensation that was so much different than when Derrick touched me; that only another woman could send through me.

  “Do you want me, Cori?” Toni asked between kisses. “Do you like how this feels?”

  “Yes… I do.” I breathlessly answered, trying hard to find my balance. “God, you feel so good, Toni.”