Not Through Loving You

by Patricia Preston

  While Aaron seated himself at the table covered in a white linen, the server lit the candle on the table before Aaron could tell him that wasn’t necessary. There’s nothing romantic going on at this table tonight.

  The server offered Aaron the wine menu.

  “Just coffee. Black.” He was absolutely sober, and he was staying that way.

  He leaned back in the padded chair, upholstered in dark red, and laced his fingers together. The restaurant was quiet. Only three other tables were taken. A couple of businessmen were looking at their tablets. An older man and woman, dressed in shorts, were eating and sharing travel brochures. To add to the ambiance, soft piano music flowed from overhead speakers. The songs were mostly movie themes.

  Aaron stirred restlessly in the chair. He looked at his watch. It was eight o’clock. Come on, let’s get this over with. He glanced impatiently at the entrance just as Lia appeared. For a moment, he didn’t recognize her.

  She was no longer dressed in the conservative navy suit and heels she’d been wearing at his house. She wore a strapless white eyelet dress with a full skirt that breezed about her knees and whispered of lazy summer days and a back porch swing. Her long black hair draped over her shoulders, and an antique gold locket hung against the center of her chest.

  He decided she personified the image of the country girls in her songs. Unpretentious and old-fashioned but inviting and passionate, too. She definitely owned the look, and as she followed the server to the table, Aaron came to a solid conclusion.

  Dallas Peyton was a lucky man.

  Chapter 3

  The moment she sat down at the table, Lia felt the friction that came from being in hostile territory. It didn’t affect her as much as it would have if she hadn’t made good use of the wet bar in her room. She let out a sigh.

  “Do you want me to call you Dr. Kendall or Aaron?”

  “Aaron is fine,” he replied in a clipped voice.

  “Okay, Aaron.” She smiled as the server offered her a menu. “Are you going order?”

  “No,” Aaron replied. “I’m just having coffee.”

  “Coffee for me, too,” she told the server as she glanced at the appetizer menu. “And nachos.” Having something to munch on sounded like a good idea.

  After the server had left, she looked across the candlelit table at Aaron. Defiance was imprinted all over his squared shoulders, unsmiling lips, and frowning eyes. He generated intensity. That sparked excitement inside her. And it wasn’t the kind of excitement she should be feeling, especially when it came to him.

  “How is Candace’s baby?” she asked.

  “He’s stable. At the hospital, we have a special-care nursery that includes NICU pods for babies who need intensive care like John Aaron. He’s had a few setbacks, and he’s still in an incubator, but I’m hoping by the end of next week I can move him to the special-care nursery.”

  The server reappeared with a tray containing two coffees, a basket of tortilla chips, and a bowl of warm cheese sauce. As Lia dipped a chip into the cheese sauce, she noticed that Aaron was stirring his coffee even though he’d put nothing in it. “I’m glad the baby is all right.”

  “I never said he was all right.” Aaron stopped stirring the coffee. “How did your sister die?”

  “From what I was told, she overdosed on heroin and coke.”

  He straightened and frowned. “At the hospital, she denied any drug use.”

  “Her friend said she’d been clean a while. I don’t know. I hadn’t seen or heard from Candace in years.” Aaron gave her a surprised glance. “I grew up in Nashville,” Lia said, “and Candace lived with my mom in LA. We were never close.”

  She ate a couple of chips. “They’re really good.” She offered the basket to Aaron, and he shook his head. “You’re not what I expected.” She laid the truth out between them.

  He folded his arms on the table and looked her directly in the eye. “I’m not giving up John Aaron.”

  “John Aaron?”

  “That’s the baby’s name.”

  “Is he going to be a junior?”

  “No. My name is Aaron Lee. One of the nurses called him Baby John Doe when he was born because she didn’t have a name for his paperwork. The name stuck, and I decided to call him John Aaron Kendall.”

  “John Aaron. That’s a nice name,” Lia said as she considered the baby she’d never seen and the determined man who sat across the table from her. The man who was divorced and lived in a frat house with girlie calendars on the wall and a disgusting kitchen. She could only imagine what the bedrooms were like.

  “I’m sure your heart is in the right place,” she said, trying to be positive. It was always good to provide some positive reinforcement before the negative. “But have you given this serious thought?”

  He bristled. “How much do you know about babies?”

  “I’m clueless when it comes to babies. I don’t know anything about them.” She dipped a chip in the cheese before she lifted her gaze to his face. “But I do know a baby should have a mother and father if at all possible.”

  His blue eyes narrowed. “I suppose that should be you and Dallas Peyton.”

  He Googled me. She took a moment to eat the chip. “No.” She dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Not me and Dallas.” There was no her and Dallas, but that was a well-guarded secret.

  She tossed the napkin aside. “It was supposed to be you. A different you.” Frustration slipped into her voice. “You were supposed to, like, have a normal life.”

  “What?” He frowned in confusion. “I do have a normal life.”

  “Seriously?” She gave her eyes a roll. “It didn’t look too normal to me.”

  “My father was hosting a bachelor party.” He stirred his coffee again. “Maybe you should call someone before you show up at their house unexpectedly and uninvited.”

  “I didn’t think it would be a problem.” She pushed her hair back off her bare shoulders. “There was supposed to be a Mrs. Kendall in the picture. I expected there to be a lovely couple who were settled and ready to provide a good home for a baby.”

  “The baby is going to have a good home. With me,” he added, and she began to see just how tenacious he could be.

  “A baby should have both parents. As for me, I’m single, and I have to travel a lot.” She didn’t mention her personal life was something of a disaster at the present time. “Me adopting the baby is just as bad as you adopting him.”

  She turned her attention to her coffee to avoid Aaron’s glare. “I have no plans to adopt him, but I want to be his aunt. I want to be part of his life, and that’s why I came here. To meet his adoptive parents. I’m his mother’s only living relative, and I feel like I have a responsibility toward him. Wouldn’t you?”

  “You have no responsibility toward him and no reason to be here.” Aaron spoke in a tone that let her know there would be no compromising. “John Aaron has a family now.”

  She lifted her gaze to meet Aaron’s haughty stare. “Your family? From what I saw of your family today, I have plenty of reason for concern and reason enough to be here.”

  If a scowl could kill, she’d be dead. She took a sip of her coffee. Gilda had advised her to find out more about him. Not that she wanted to know, but she needed to find out who the enemy was. “Tell me about yourself.” She cradled her coffee cup. “I didn’t Google you.”

  His expression shuttered as if he were protecting things that were sacred to him. “I graduated from the UT College of Medicine and did my residency in pediatrics. I also did a fellowship in neonatology at the Texas Children’s Hospital. I’m the medical director of newborn care at the hospital.”

  She nodded. His education was impressive, and that was a good thing when it came to a sick baby. “Are you in a serious relationship? Like, do you have any plans to get married soon?”

  His mouth formed a tight line. Finally he spoke. “No, I’m not in a serious relationship, and I have no plans to get married in the foreseeable futur
e.”

  She didn’t know what to make of that. “A baby should have a mother and a father.”

  “You’re way too idealistic.”

  “I was raised by a single father,” she said quietly. “My mom was never around.”

  A moment passed. “Lia.” He called her by her name for the first time, as if he’d decided to make a personal connection with her. “I’m aware that both a mother and father are best when it comes to a baby. And the perfect scenario would be if John were a healthy newborn being placed with the adoring parents you want him to have. That’s not how it is.

  “He’s not a well baby. Your sister didn’t take care of herself when she was pregnant, and that left him vulnerable. He’s been struggling to live ever since he was born. But he’s a tough little guy. He’s no quitter, and I love that about him.”

  She glanced away as she felt a hitch in her chest. “Are you saying there’s a chance he’ll die?” Never once had she considered the baby dying.

  “I’m trying to prevent that. John has pneumonia right now, and his immune system is still weak,” Aaron explained. “Plus, other problems may surface with time. He won’t be a well baby for a long time, and he may have developmental problems as he gets older.”

  Lia remained silent as she dealt with her anger toward her sister for being negligent when it came to her baby’s health. “I’m sorry Candace wasn’t a better person.”

  He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. “That’s not important now. What’s important is John Aaron, and I know what I’m facing when it comes to raising him and the potential health issues. There’s no one more qualified than me to be his father.”

  She couldn’t argue with that. A pediatrician, even one who lived in a frat house, would certainly be qualified to take care of a sick baby. “Why don’t you adopt a healthy baby?”

  For the first time, he smiled slightly, and a look of joy softened his features. “I had no plans to adopt a baby. Not that I don’t want one. But adoption had never crossed my mind. When the baby’s mother said she didn’t want him, I knew I did.”

  His voice took on an amazed note as he spoke. “Something just hit my heart at that moment—like out of the blue—and I knew it was meant to be. I had always wanted a son, and John Aaron needed a home. I spent the night with him in the nursery.” He settled back in the chair and glanced out the window where dewy flowers glistened in the moonlight. “I’ve never had doubt or a second thought about my decision.”

  The server came by and refilled their coffee cups. Lia mulled over what Aaron had said. Why couldn’t things have been as she expected? It would have been so much easier.

  Now she was crushing on him a little. It wasn’t just his looks—the dark hair, blue eyes, and athletic build. After all, she’d worked with some of the sexiest guys in the music industry. Nor was it his being a doctor, but she did admire the intelligence and hard work that required.

  She supposed it was that he had decided to make an abrupt change in his lifestyle and adopt John simply because “it was meant to be.” That struck a note in her poetic soul. She wrote songs about love and loss and all those things that were meant to be. Like a lonely doctor and an unwanted baby.

  Maybe she should go. Get her bags and head back to Nashville where a life that wasn’t really hers waited on her. After all, Aaron had been right about being qualified to take care of a sick newborn. Who else could do that? Everyone she knew was as clueless about babies as she was. “Do you have a picture of the baby?”

  Aaron studied her for a moment. “If you want to see him, I can arrange that,” he said. “I can meet you at the hospital nursery at nine in the morning.”

  “Really?” Excitement hummed inside her. She was going to get to see the baby. She lit up. “I would love that! Thank you.”

  “Sure,” he responded in a disinterested tone as he took a look at his smartphone. “I guess this concludes our meeting.” He didn’t glance up from his phone.

  The meeting, yes. She wasn’t certain about the rest. She watched as a server brought out dinner for a couple seated at a nearby table. The honey-glazed chicken drew her attention as her stomach reminded her that she needed a decent meal, not just nachos. “I’m going to stay and have dinner. Have you eaten? If not, I’ll buy your dinner.”

  “No.” He frowned at her.

  “If you don’t want to eat, that’s fine. I just thought I should be polite.” She motioned to the server. “I know you probably want to get back to your party.”

  “It’s not my party. My father is the one having the party.”

  “All right, but you’re not obligated to stay.”

  “I got that.” He remained seated as the server approached.

  Lia shrugged and smiled at the woman who stopped at the table with a couple of menus. “I want the honey-glazed chicken dinner with chardonnay, please.”

  While Aaron looked over the menu, the server commented on the gold locket that Lia wore. “That necklace is beautiful. Is it vintage?”

  “It’s over a hundred years old.” Lia beamed as she held up the pendant so the server could get a better look at the two lovebirds that decorated the front of the locket. Above them, a diamond representing the sun gave the locket some bling. The necklace was one of her most treasured possessions.

  Aaron spoke up. “I’d like the rib eye, medium rare, baked potato, and more coffee.” He handed the menu back to the server, who cleared the chips and cheese off the table and promised she would be back shortly with their drinks.

  Lia glanced across the candlelit table at Aaron. Dinner with the enemy. As a couple of moments of bored silence passed between them, she struggled to think of something to say. What do you say to a baby doctor? How do you change diapers?

  “So that necklace is over a hundred years old?” It appeared he, too, was trying to think of a way to break the monotony of two strangers sitting at a table saying nothing to each other.

  He had asked the right question.

  She loved talking about the necklace and about the outlaw who had given it to his mistress in 1870. Excited, she leaned across the table and flipped the locket so Aaron could read the inscription on the back.

  “With love. TCY. June. Eighteen seventy.” Aaron glanced from the locket to her face, which was only inches from his. He cleared his throat. “I take it the necklace is a family heirloom.”

  “No.” She settled down in her chair with her fingers on the locket. “The initials are for Thomas Coleman Younger of the James-Younger Gang.” She sighed. “Captain Cole Younger. I paid a fortune for this necklace.”

  Aaron gestured toward the necklace. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. I’ve been a fangirl for years. It all started when my father was producing some music for a documentary on outlaws, and I did some research on the James-Younger Gang. Frank and Jesse both lived in Nashville for a while, and they’re more famous than Cole, but I like him best. Compared to Frank and Jesse, he was the bad-boy outlaw. The sexy one,” she added, and Aaron’s brows shot up.

  She laughed as he gave her a speechless stare. “Frank and Jesse weren’t that exciting. They were the sons of a Baptist minister, and they had a straitlaced upbringing. They married nice girls and had children. Lived quietly to an extent,” she said. “On the other hand, Cole came from a large upper-class merchant family. Cole was well known for his devil-may-care attitude. He was considered the life of the party and a ladies’ man. Women adored him, but he never married. Legend has it that Belle Starr, who was a female outlaw, had a daughter by him.”

  The server appeared with their meals. Again, things grew quiet at the table as they began to eat. Lia decided the doctor was not a conversationalist. “The food’s good,” she remarked as the speakers overhead broadcast the soft music.

  He nodded in agreement. “What happened to Cole Younger in the end?”

  “After serving over twenty years in prison, he was released due to good behavior.” She smiled at the doctor. “Cole had worked in the
prison hospital, helping take care of the sick. After his parole, he and Frank James, who had been acquitted of all the charges against him, put together a Wild West show and traveled the country. Eventually, Cole went on the lecture circuit, advising young people against a life of crime, and he wrote an autobiography. He died in his seventies at home, surrounded by family. Frank had died a month earlier.”

  “I’m surprised he didn’t die in a gunfight.”

  “He had been shot several times in the past. He still had eleven bullets in him when he died.”

  “Is there anything about him you don’t know?”

  She grinned as she considered the man across the table from her. With his looks, he could have given Cole Younger a run for his money with the ladies. She wasn’t certain about his personality. He remained reserved, almost indifferent, as if he had herded his emotions off into a safe room, away from the threat she posed. She wondered if Cole Younger’s charm was buried beneath Aaron’s guarded façade?

  “I wrote a song about Cole.” She held Aaron’s gaze. “ ‘The Outlaw in My Arms.’ ”

  He gave his head a shake. “There’s something wrong with you.”

  “No, there isn’t.” She fondled her locket. “I wrote it for a western movie. An indie film about Cole and Belle. I’ve written a lot of songs with western themes,” she said. “I love the history and majesty of the Old West.”

  “Have you ever seen Lonesome Dove?”

  “Like a dozen times!” She tried to contain her enthusiasm. “It is so epic, and I love the music. It literally breaks my heart when I hear it.” She let out a deep sigh. “Plus there’s Woodrow Call. Tommy Lee Jones did such a great job. Woodrow Call is right up there with Cole Younger in that I’d run away with either one of them tomorrow.”

  “Well,” Aaron sliced his steak with a few brisk strokes of his knife. “I can see why you and Dallas Peyton are a couple.”

  For the first time, her smile was artificial. “Yeah,” she answered quietly. It would appear to Aaron that Dallas, who had grown up on a ranch in Colorado and had the West in his blood, would be the perfect match for a girl like her. At one time, she had thought so, too.