Sacrifice

by Denise Grover Swank

  “What I do in the privacy of my own room isn’t any of your business.”

  “Wrong.” He took a step forward, his chest almost touching hers. “Sleeping falls under the same category as eating. It’s obvious that your lack of sleep is interfering with your progress, so you have two choices tonight. You either take medication to help you sleep or you let me help you sleep.”

  Fury instantly ignited. She could only imagine how he planned to help her go to sleep. “Don’t you even think about touching me.”

  “Then you’ll take medication.”

  “And if I refuse?”

  “I believe this falls under the ‘deemed necessary’ category.”

  She’d heard enough and spun around to march back to the house, when he grabbed her arm. His energy flowed through her, filling her with a need for more. She recognized it for what it was now, but she was clueless how to stop the flow. She doubted Raphael would ever teach her how to block it. It was his weapon against her.

  “I hate you,” she spit through her gritted teeth, forcing herself to stay in control.

  He pulled her against him and stared into her face. “You only think you do. One day you’ll thank me.”

  She closed her eyes to weaken her connection to him.

  “I can help you forget him.”

  Her eyes flew open and she tried to jerk out of his grasp. “No!”

  “Think about it, Emma. No more pain. No more loneliness.”

  She shook her head, frantic. He was capable of it and she knew he would do it. A sob escaped as she felt her body giving in to his. She had to fight this. “No, please, Raphael. Please. I’ve lost everything else. Don’t take that from me too.”

  Caressing her cheek, gentleness softened the anger in his eyes. “I only want to help you, Emma. I’m not your enemy.”

  “Then please don’t do this.” She hated begging, especially to him, but she couldn’t lose her memories of Will.

  “Then tonight you’ll take something to help you sleep and tomorrow we’ll start fresh.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing her cheek before he dropped his hold on her.

  She stumbled backward, hate filling her every cell. She hated him for taking advantage of her that way, but she hated her own body and its traitorous reaction even more. One day she’d figure out how to stop it. Then she’d turn it around and use it against him.

  ***

  Will had lost all track of time. His room had been dark since they’d thrown him in and he hadn’t seen anyone since. Which meant he hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink either. Gauging from his hunger and thirst, he suspected he’d been in the room at least a day, perhaps two. He’d finally resorted to crawling to the toilet and drinking from the bowl to stave off dehydration.

  He toggled between consciousness and sleep, spending hours caught in the in-between. Images of Emma filled his head from the few moments of memories he had of her. He had a bizarre need to know that his love for her was reciprocated. The horror on her face, after he first became aware of his surroundings, reassured his ego. The way she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him to safety. The panic in her voice as he ran off after the gunmen.

  If he’d stayed with her would she have been captured too? Or would they be somewhere safe and together now? Would holding her in his arms fill the ache in his soul?

  He replayed the scene over and over, his need to remember her so strong. He picked apart every detail. He spent the most time on the first few hazy moments when he tried to figure out where he was. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her tears wet his face. Her lips pressed to his unresponsive ones. And if he pushed back to the very edge of the haze, where his memories hit a wall, the very first thing he remembered was her voice. “Will! Please. Don’t leave me. I love you.”

  He clung to her words as they parted his delirium and proved he was still sane. He didn’t love a stranger or a ghost. She was real and she loved him too.

  But when the chaos in his memories erupted, another man stayed with Emma through it all, trying to lead her to safety. For the most part she’d ignored him, focusing on getting Will out of the woods, but there was no denying the hungry look in the other man’s eyes.

  He wanted her.

  And there wasn’t a damn thing Will could do about it.

  When Will slept, he dreamed of her. There were no images, yet he knew it was her. She cried for hours, her sobs taunting his need to protect her. She often called his name along with Jake. The interrogator said Jake was her son. Did Kramer have him too?

  Her despair mixed with his, pulling him deeper into his madness, the weight so heavy he thought he might sink through the rickety mattress and down into the earth until it sucked the life out of him.

  In moments of lunacy, he tried to reach her, her presence hovering just out of reach. When he first heard her, he called to her, telling her that he was there. He eventually stopped because it seemed to upset her even more.

  And that’s how he knew he’d really gone mental. People couldn’t talk to each other in dreams.

  That and the other voice in his head.

  The voice he’d heard during the interrogation was still there, offering encouragement.

  “Don’t give up, Will. He’s coming.”

  At first Will tried to figure out who was coming, then gave up. There was no voice. No one was coming. His subconscious had kicked into self-preservation mode.

  In his rare saner moments, he tried to make sense of where he was and why he was here. He knew it involved Senator Warren and Kramer, and somehow Emma fit into it all. Kramer and his interrogator claimed that Emma had powers, whatever that meant. What he most wanted to know at the moment was how he lost a month and a half of memories. And why.

  When the door to his cell opened, he was sure he was hallucinating. He turned to the light, but before his hand shielded his eyes, he was sure he’d seen James. His eyes burned, tears streaming down his face.

  “Will?”

  Will shook his head slowly. Now he heard James’s voice too.

  Maybe he was dead.

  Will tried to open his eyes, but the room had flooded with light.

  “Son of a bitch, what the fuck have they done to you?” Someone squatted next to his cot and set something on the floor.

  “James?” Will’s tongue was heavy and slow to move. Squinting, he caught a glimpse of James’s horror-stricken face. Will sank into the mattress. “What…I don’t know…How did you get here?” His voice was raspy. He had to be hallucinating.

  James’s head leaned forward, examining Will’s face. “They captured me and threw me into this cell. What did they do to you?”

  “Interrogation.”

  “Interrogation? Naked?” James sat back on his heels. “That’s why they gave me this bundle of clothes. Come on, let’s get you dressed.”

  Will had been curled up so long that his arms and legs protested when he stretched them out.

  “Shit.” James grasped Will’s arms to help him up.

  “I know I look like hell, but if you try to take advantage of me right now, I can still kick your ass.”

  James swung Will’s legs over the side of the bed and pulled him upright. “You fuckhead.” He pulled the shirt over Will’s head and helped him put his arms through the holes. “I’m too good for you.”

  Will’s mouth lifted into a smirk. “You wish.” Will stood on shaky legs while James helped him put his pants on.

  James helped Will sit on the cot, grim determination on his face. “We have to get out of here.”

  Exhausted, Will leaned over his legs. “I don’t understand. How did you get here?”

  James stood and paced. “They found us while you were in White Horse.”

  Will’s stomach cramped. What was James talking about?

  “We need to figure a way out of here.”

  “Yeah, good luck with that. I’d settle for a drink of water.” Will’s mouth felt like it was coated in sandpaper.

  James stopped in midpa
ce. “How long has it been since they gave you something to eat or drink?”

  He closed his eyes. “They haven’t.”

  “They haven’t given you anything? How long have you been here?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve lost track of time. Since they captured me the night in the woods.”

  “The night they tried to take Emma?”

  Will looked up, his mouth gaping. “You know about Emma.”

  James narrowed his eyes, his brow furrowing. “Of course I know about Emma. What that fuck are you talking about? Now answer my question: Did they take you the night they tried to take Emma?”

  “I think so.” James not only knew about Emma but also about the woods. Relief washed through Will like a summer shower, warm and full of hope. It was real. All of it was real.

  “That’s four days, Will!”

  “They threw me in here, waiting for Emma to show up. Guess they forgot to send her an invitation.” Will looked up. “You’ve been here all this time?”

  “Yeah, and it looks like they’ve treated me a hell of a lot better.”

  “Lucky you.” Too lightheaded to stay upright, Will eased himself down. The mattress creaked in protest. “So why are you in here now?”

  “I think they think I can get information out of you.” He lowered himself to the floor next to the bed, resting his head in his hands. “What a fucked-up mess.”

  They sat in silence before James grunted and shifted his weight. “So why didn’t she come?”

  Will hesitated. James just admitted that he was sent here to get information. But this was James. His oldest and most trustworthy friend. “I don’t think she can.”

  James cocked his head. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because she cries for me in her sleep.”

  James stared at the wall by the door. “So you think someone has her?”

  Will’s heart sputtered. First, James wasn’t surprised when Will said she cried for him. Like he thought it was entirely possible that Will would know this. But the second reason caused Will’s muscles to tense. James was nervous. “I don’t know.”

  “She’d come get you if she could, right? Did you guys have a fight? Was she the one who turned you over to Kramer?”

  Memories of the night in the woods flashed in his mind. “No, she definitely didn’t turn me over. She tried to protect me.”

  “How did you find her? After Kramer’s men showed up…” He shot Will a nervous glance.

  “I don’t know. I don’t remember any of it.”

  James’s eyebrows rose. “What do you mean?”

  “It means my memories of her are all gone. Kramer said I’d been with her a month and a half. But I remember standing next to a fire with her and she was terrified that I’d get caught when Kramer’s men showed up. My only memory before that is getting the call to take a job to bring a woman to South Dakota.”

  James’s shoulders relaxed as he released a long exhale. “You don’t remember any of it?”

  Why did James look so relieved?

  “James is not to be trusted.”

  “Did you hear that?” Will asked, struggling to sit up.

  James reached over and grabbed Will’s arm. “Hear what?”

  “That voice?”

  James shook his head with a wary look in his eyes. “I think you’ve gone too long without eating, dude. You’re hallucinating.”

  Maybe so, but he wondered if he should listen to the voice in his head anyway. “Yeah, good luck with that, although if I have any hope of breaking out of here, I need to get some strength back.”

  James got up and pounded on the door. “Hey, can I get something to eat and drink in here?”

  Within minutes, the door opened and the guard put a tray on the floor, the door closing behind him. James picked up the tray and set it on the cot. “Eat it slow.”

  “I know, James.” Irritation bled through his words and he hoped James thought it was crabbiness from hunger. James was up to something.

  Although Will knew he should eat slowly, once he saw the rice and chopped meat on the plate, his stomach growled in protest. Will sipped from the bottled water first, coating his dry mouth and soothing his throat. He had to resist the urge to guzzle it.

  James settled on the floor next to the bed. “So you don’t remember anything? You have no idea who took Emma?”

  Will capped the bottle with shaky fingers. “Why do you think someone took her?”

  “Because in spite of all of her other flaws, she’d never leave you here if she knew you were in danger.”

  Rice spilled on the mattress as Will tried to scoop it into his mouth with a spoon. “What flaws?”

  James hesitated and started to raise his hand to his mouth before he caught himself and put his hand back down. “Look, I’m not here to bash your girlfriend.”

  “Why are you here?” Will didn’t hide the hard edge in his voice.

  James’s eyes flew open. “I told you already.”

  “You told me the first part—that they thought you could get information. But you forgot the second part, James. What kind of deal did they give you?”

  James jumped to his feet and paced again. “Goddamnit, Will. I got us both a deal. Both of us. They just want Emma. They told me your mark was gone and they don’t need you anymore. Just help them find her and they’ll let you go.”

  “Are you really that fucking naive, James?”

  James’s eyes blazed with anger. “No, Will. I’m not. That’s why I have insurance. If we’re not released, I have information on them they don’t want made public.”

  Will’s hand fisted around his spoon. “So why not use that information now, James?”

  “Will, you don’t even remember her. Why are you protecting her?”

  He didn’t answer, taking several bites of food. “Why do they want her? What’s so special about her?”

  James paused. “They want her baby.”

  “And you’re just handing her over?”

  James’s eyes hardened. “It’s an easy choice, Will. Her or you. I’ll pick you over her any damn time.”

  “You forgot a minor detail. You’re handing over my baby, James. My baby.”

  The color drained from James’s face. “You don’t know that. I always suspected she lied to you about that.”

  “You have to protect her.”

  Will swallowed the lump in his throat. “I do know, James. The baby is mine.” It was a pointless conversation. There was no baby now, but he’d be damned if he was the one to tell them.

  “I’m sorry, Will. I didn’t know.”

  But he did.

  Will thought he’d hit bottom, yet it kept going deeper. James. But he needed James to get out of here. He took a deep breath. “So now what? I don’t know anything. I can’t give them any information. What does that mean for you?”

  “You obviously have some limited knowledge if you know the baby is yours.”

  “Kramer told me it’s mine. He said I admitted it sometime in my not-so-distant-yet-elusive past.”

  “You said you were with her before you were captured. What do you remember?”

  “Tell him about Raphael.”

  Raphael. Was that the man with her? Did he have her now?

  “Tell him about Raphael.” The voice was more insistent.

  Tears burned Will’s eyes, his control dangerously close to the edge. He was losing his mind. “There was a man.” His voice shook and he cleared his throat.

  James glanced up with an anxious look.

  Will refused to betray her and James’s eagerness to do so made the few bites of food in Will’s stomach churn.

  “They can’t touch Raphael.”

  Will took a deep breath to steady his fear. “He was in the woods and he insisted that Emma escape.” He reached for the bottle of water so he didn’t have to look James in the eye. “He might have Emma.”

  “Raphael? Dark-haired guy? Dark eyes? Sexy as hell?”

  Will looked up.
“You met him?”

  “No, but you told me all about him.”

  “I called him sexy as hell?”

  “No, but any man who made you feel that threatened had to be.”

  He felt threatened by this guy before he lost his memory. Now he was really worried about her. “So you go tell them that I think Raphael has her, and then what?”

  “Do you have any idea where Raphael is? Where he might have taken her?”

  “Not a fucking clue.” If he did, Will wouldn’t tell those assholes.

  James rubbed his forehead. “That’s probably okay. They know you’ve lost your memory so they can’t expect much.”

  Why had James acted surprised when Will said he’d lost all memory of her? Lucky for Will, James had gotten sloppy.

  “You need James.”

  “Shut the hell up!” Will shouted.

  James jumped. “What the hell?”

  Will shook his head. He wasn’t losing it. He was already gone. “Nothing. Sorry. I think I’m hallucinating.”

  “Maybe you should lie down.” James picked up the tray and sniffed it before setting it on the floor. “You need to rest, Will. I’m going to take care of everything.”

  Reclining, Will looked at him. “Are you, James?” Recklessness kept him from hiding the distrust in his voice.

  Hurt flickered over James’s face. “Don’t I always?”

  Will closed his eyes, too weary to keep them open. He welcomed the darkness that called to him.

  Chapter Seven

  Jake lay in bed, the nightlight in the corner casting scary shadows against the walls. Shadows that crept toward him.

  He thought he’d imagined them at first. Shadows didn’t move, but these did. Edging along the wall slowly, like they tried to trick him by sneaking up on him. He’d mark the progress with his memory. The top of the dresser’s shadow came to the middle of the window, but when he looked again it had moved to the edge of the sill. Every time he opened his eyes, the shadows weren’t where they were the last time he saw them.

  But far more scary things lurked in the house than shadows, even shadows that moved. Aiden was somewhere, watching everyone. When people didn’t do what Aiden asked, they had to pay.