Breaking Old Habits

by Melissa Bender

  When the rain had eased enough for me to run over, I ran to her, and her window wound down. “Karen, can I have a word?”

  “What? Where is Griffin?”

  “He’s at work.”

  “Work? You’re here alone with them? Oh, I don’t believe this.”

  “Just shut up for five damn seconds.” I snapped at her, losing my cool. “You need to give it a rest. You and he were never married. Yes, you share children together, but that’s it, Karen. You can’t keep trying to push me out of their life.” This was growing old. “Wouldn’t it be easier if we could make an effort to get along? I don’t want to always fight with you.”

  Her eyes darted away, and she pursed her lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Really?” I scoffed. “Like the school letter? Saying I’m unable to pick them up? I’m his wife.”

  “Yes.” She sneered, and the car window rolled up. The door flung open, and she stepped out. “I know that you’re his wife. You married him. Big fucking deal! You’re not their mum, and just because they call you that, doesn’t mean it means anything. They’re doing it to be nice.”

  “No, they’re not.” I shocked myself at how hard my tone was. “You don’t deserve those boys. You deserve no one, you miserable, old woman. You can act all motherly, but I see right through you, and it’s not a pretty sight.”

  She laughed, tucking a strand of her bob behind her ear. “You’re just an easy fuck for him, and trust me, he’ll be bored just like he was with me. You’ll never really be family. You’ll never have his mother’s approval or his friends because they’re all on my side. You need to realise that you’re a dumb cow. You’re no different from me, Ayla. I’ll always be in his life. He and I are meant to be. He may not know it now, but he will soon, and then you’ll be nothing but a regret in his life.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m nothing like you.” I would never be.

  “I heard you lost your job. Funny how you’re living off him.”

  That was true. It was not my fault, though. “And unlike you, I did have a job. You’ve been freeloading off him for years. At least I have money saved from work. All you do is wait until the money hits your account, and then you’re ready to party.”

  Her hand lifted, and I was ready for the slap across the cheek, but Mack ran down between us, facing me. “Mum, can you tell Dad that I left my book in his car?”

  Karen looked at Mack and glared. “She’s not your mother. You never call her that again or look out!”

  Point proven. She’s so mean to them.

  I ignored her glares as I hugged them both, kissing them each on the cheek. I waved them off and finally walked back to the house, feeling sadder now that they were gone and the house was empty. This house was meant to be filled with noise and kids running around.

  I wondered if I could talk Griffin into having two rather than one. One thing at a time. I don’t want to scare him off.

  Dinner was not anything exciting, just an easy lasagna. I sat alone, eating as I waited for Griffin to come home. The roles have been reversed. I wondered if he was this bored when he had to wait up for me. Probably.

  So I headed to bed and pulled out my sexiest lingerie, taking about fifty photos just to get a decent one of me lying in the bed with a come fuck me now look. I took another shot of my legs spread with my finger deep inside my wet pussy and sent that to him, too.

  The front door slammed with a thud, followed with his shoes being quickly thrown off and keys being tossed to the floor. His feet thumped down the hallway towards our room.

  His eyes were filled with hunger as he began undressing. “Fuck, you’re a naughty girl.”

  “Why?” I grinned, stretching out and pushing up my ass to reveal the black G-string. “You don’t like?”

  A groan escaped his throat as he came at me. His hands skimmed over my ass until I felt the sting of a firm slap. “You know just how much I like it. I was so instantly hard for you.”

  The material ripped and was thrown to the floor as he pushed apart my thighs even more, pressing his thick erection against my entrance.

  “I was lonely,” I muttered as I turned to look back at him. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too. Now, I’m going to fuck you and then make love to you. I just need to blow really fucking bad first, then the night is all yours.”

  Biting down on my lower lip, I smirked. “Use my pussy, baby. Fuck it however you want.”

  His thrusts were to the hilt. My body bounced forwards as his hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me back with each forceful thrust. “I plan on it.”

  ***

  Placed at the dining table with a cup of tea, my laptop was on job search as I scanned for any kind of work available in the area. I was not going to be like her. I would not live off him. Griffin walked in, raising his brows as he glanced at the page then shook his head.

  “I told you, you don’t need to do that.”

  Picking up my hot tea, I paused as I brought it to my lips. “I want to work.”

  “Ayla, you don’t have to work. I have a ton of money.”

  “I don’t want to be like her.” She was right. I was living off of him. I could not be like her anymore. “She told me… that you’ll go back to her.”

  He frowned, sitting beside me and bringing my legs up onto his lap. “When did she tell you this? Because you know that’s not true at all.”

  “We had a few words…” I paused, making sure his reaction allowed me to continue. “I called her a miserable old woman”—I felt horrible for it—“and told her she deserves no one.”

  His lips parted, but he did not speak. He just nodded then exhaled slowly. “She wouldn’t have liked hearing the truth about herself.”

  I wanted to burst out laughing. He was right. “I don’t think she did. She told me I was just a young pussy for you.”

  “You’re an amazing pussy for me.”

  “Griffin, I’m being serious. She went off at Mack for calling me mum. I really didn’t want to let her take them home for the week.” I had the right mind to grab the boys and take them both back inside. Even if they were both teenagers, I felt the need to protect them.

  He pulled me by the legs, drawing me closer. “I love you, you know that?”

  “I had a feeling you might be, especially after earlier,” I said, wiggling my brows as I relived the memory in my mind. “I love you, too.”

  The lid of the laptop closed, and he pushed it away. “Take a year off. If you’re not pregnant within then, you can work. But I think you should take the year and have some time for yourself.”

  Umm.. Who the hell is this man?

  “Griffin, are you stoned?” He had to be.

  He laughed. “I assure you, I haven’t been high for a while. I’m just saying that you have been doing so much for the boys and me. You put up with so much between working and taking care of the house. You deserve a break, Ayla. Let me take care of you for once.” His eyes were on mine as he reached up, caressing my cheek softly. “I want this. You’ve been through so much this past year: I treated you like shit, you’ve dealt with my psycho ex—and all you asked me for was a ring and a baby. I really want to give you that baby, so let’s just take the year to fuck like crazy and try to knock you up without you stressing about work or anything else.”

  My jaw was slightly opened. I was shocked. “Umm…” What could I say to that?

  “Say, ‘Yes, Griffin, I’ll take the year off.’ ”

  Have you ever been drunk on words before? In a daze of lust mixed with arousal? That’s what I was in right now. Damn it. He was turning me on with his words, and I was falling for it!

  “Okay, fine. Yes, Griffin, I will take the year off.” I sighed giving in. “No, wait. Just one question,” I pointed out. “Say I get pregnant, what happens after that year is up?”

  He laughed “Ah, baby! You already agreed.” He grinned, closing in his mouth to mine. “And, baby, no way in hell will I l
et you go back to work after a year’s up.”

  “But—” That was so not fair, but his mouth closed the distance, and I was too busy kissing him back to fight him off.

  My hips ground against his, skin to skin, and my breasts bounced as I tightened my arms around his neck and kept rocking. His fingers dug into my ass cheeks, pulling me back and forth faster. I moaned loudly as a finger slipped inside my puckered hole. My every nerve was exploding with pleasure as I shook against him.

  My voice breaking, I cried out with a whimper. “F-fuck me… harder.”

  He stood from his sitting position on the dining chair, and my legs tightly wrapped around his hips. He laid me flat on the kitchen table and slammed into me over and over as my orgasm shattered me completely, milking him empty inside of me.

  Both of us was left breathless as his tired body lay over mine. Starting to kiss me from my neck to my collarbone, he reached for my hardened nipple and bit gently. “Let me pierce this.”

  “Mmm… Okay”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh, you can do anything you want to me right now.” I was that out of it. He could probably tattoo me, and I would not feel a thing. I was utterly exhausted.

  His phone rang, and he went to pull out, but my legs tightened around him. He smirked and instead, picked me back up. Limp inside me, he walked us to the bench where his phone was vibrating. I giggled, slipping down a little.

  “It’s my lawyer,” he said grimly. “I need to take this.”

  “Of course, you do.” God, he definitely had to take this. Any news was worth hearing, and with his last hearing due in a couple days, we needed to be on the ball with what was happening. Even if it were close to midnight, he had to take the call.

  We both stood naked in the kitchen as Griffin talked and paced around. He would give me a glance every now and then. I was not sure what to make of them. Was it good or bad? I could not tell. He gave nothing away. The boys expressed their wishes to live with us, and I hoped Karen was not going to do anything to screw this up.

  When the call ended, he sat his phone back down and turned away from me. Both his hands gripped the bench top until his knuckles turned white.

  I walked behind him and placed a palm over his hand. “Griffin…” I said in an unsure voice. I was suddenly afraid to hear what he had to say.

  I did not miss the streaks of water running down his cheeks as he emptily whispered, “I just lost my rights of custody.”

  I frowned. This could not be right. Perhaps, I was not hearing clearly. “So what does that mean? When do you get the boys back?”

  “I don’t, Ayla.”

  I did not understand. “She can’t take them from you.” From us.

  His spilling tears broke my heart. “Every second weekend. I get them pretty much four nights a fucking month.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Do you want anything to eat?” I asked, climbing back into the bed where he slept, facing away from me. He stayed silent but shook his head. “What about something to drink?” I got the same response. “Okay, I’m just going to have a shower, and then I’ll come back to bed.”

  The water hid my tears. I had been crying just as much as he had, only I did not do it in front of him.

  Last night, he had lost part of himself to that evil woman. She had done the unimaginable and took Toby and Mack from their father. She outright lied, and he could not defend himself without admitting he broke the law and risking a jail sentence.

  She really fucked him over. She well and truly had him by the balls and was killing him slowly while she sat back, laughed, and enjoyed every moment of it.

  I paused, thinking I had heard him entering the bathroom, but when I opened my eyes and looked, he was not there. At first, I blamed myself, thinking maybe I had caused her to do this after our exchange yesterday. But that was not the case. She just wanted the kids and would do whatever she could to get them.

  Wrapping the towel around my body, I walked into the bedroom. He was just lying there, still in the same position. His opened eyes had a look of utter heartbreak about him. I understood that it was painful, but he needed to get up and fight for them some more before it was too late.

  “Griffin,” I began, walking to the robe and pulling out some underwear. “Let’s go have some breakfast.”

  “Ayla, I told you I’m not hungry.”

  “You need to eat,” I urged, sitting on the edge of the bed as I pulled on a pair of ankle socks.

  He groaned in annoyance. “I’ll eat when I feel like it.”

  “Let’s go for a drive, walk, or something?” He had to get out of there—anything to take his mind of what she had done.

  “Christ, give it a rest. I told you I don’t feel like anything to eat, and I don’t want to go for a fucking drive. Just drop it!” His tone was loud and harsh as he snapped at me.

  Don’t take it personally. He’s hurting, I told myself.

  Standing, I pulled my jeans up and faced him. “Well, Griffin, you need to give that lawyer of yours a call and figure out what you’re going to do.”

  “Oh, yeah? What can I fucking do?” He sat up, glaring directly at me with icy eyes. He was really mad.

  Throwing my hands in the air, I pointed to the door. “Fight for them!”

  “I have been fucking fighting!” He roared back, tossing the covers off his body. He took a step towards me. “She has me backed into a corner. Fuck me! You think I haven’t been racking my brains trying to come up with a solution? She has me on video with the dates and knows if I come after her, she’ll flaunt that fucking tape, and I’ll have to submit a drug test which we both know will come back positive, and then what? They’ll use that against me being an unfit parent. Jesus, Ayla. I’m fucked.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have been smoking weed then,” I muttered grimly. “You told me that you’d stopped, and that’s probably why...” I stopped myself before I went too far. “Never mind, I’m going to make something for lunch.”

  As I began walking off, he followed. “That’s probably why, what? Why you can’t get pregnant? Because I was smoking now and then?”

  I should have kept my mouth shut.

  “Thanks a lot. Made me feel even shittier.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You were going to.” Scoffing, he slammed his palm against the wall. “I want nothing more than to knock you up.”

  Oh, how things have changed from no babies to this.

  I rolled my eyes. I was not having any of these. “Go back to bed. Sleep off your mood, and then we’ll talk.”

  “Yeah, like I’m going to fall asleep now. Apparently, my wife thinks I’m a shit father who isn’t fighting for his kids.”

  “I didn’t say that,” I said quieter. He was an amazing dad. “I just meant that there has to be a way around all of this. You’re working, and she isn’t. How can she get custody when they want to live here?” His jaw tightened, and he looked away. “Griffin, is there something you’re not telling me?” He was hiding something, I could tell.

  He glanced back, gave his balls a scratch, and shook his head. “Don’t worry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have been smoking. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

  “Griffin.”

  He shook his head again, pleading with his eyes for me to drop it. “Don’t.”

  My concern grew as I stepped closer, reaching out to cup his cheek. “What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, my voice fragile. Inside, I was afraid of his answer.

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  He knew better than to lie. He lies to me, and he would know what would come out of it. Something was going on. He was not telling the whole truth about the situation. It did not add up. She was not working. How could someone just decide that the boys were better off living with her when they were clearly better taken care of with us.

  “They wanted to live with her.”

  My whole body froze as a chill ran down my spine. “I’
m sorry, what?”

  No. That didn’t even make sense.

  His voice wavered. “They wanted to live with her. They didn’t want to be here.”

  I was still confused. “What? Why?” His anger dissolved to sorrow, and mine began to simmer. “Me? They don’t like me?”

  “She’s made them say something, forced them into it. I don’t know. They were asked where they preferred to live, and they said with Karen. They didn’t want to be here.” He went to touch me, but I stepped back, needing space. “Pretty, you know they love you. It’s not your fault.”

  “Like hell, it isn’t! How can you even be near me? Jesus, you lost your boys because of me.” It was like a slap across the face. “I feel sick.” Literally, I wanted to throw up.

  His eyes flickered to my stomach, and I shook my head. It definitely was not due to that. I just felt sick with hurt. This was all a mess.

  His hands slipped to my shoulders, and his soft voice brought me back to reality. “Sweetheart, this isn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, nor do I believe that is what they really wanted. She’s done some bribing, and as much as you want to help, you can’t. We just need to take this with caution. The last thing I want is to hurt the boys any more than they have been.”

  “You couldn’t go to jail for smoking, though?” That could not be true.

  “Well, I don’t know, but she threatened to bring up the racing again and even the poker. She’s saying she has proof. It doesn’t matter that the racing was a one-time event. She knows if she says we’ve taken the boys to them, then I’m screwed. It’s all a headfuck.”

  I’ll say. “So what do we do?” I asked, looking with hopeful eyes up at him. She was lying.

  His response, as soft as his words were, did not offer me any comfort whatsoever. “I don’t know.”

  We both went back to bed, and I never asked him to get back out again—not when I was feeling just as low as he had been. He deserved better, and only time would see that he truly was the better parent than that wicked, lying woman that’s using her children as pawns in some sick, twisted game to hurt their father. She deserved no one, and I hoped she ended up getting what would eventually come to her.