Valkyrie Divided (Pyralis Book 2)

by Brandy L. Cunningham

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  18

  Conversations with Death

  Ihad learned a new trick. Death could be blissful too. I know it was wrong, to leave them all like that, to look into the haunted expression of my dear brother, allowing him to think he had killed me, really killed me. Sometimes, we are so paralyzed by our own grief and our own anger that we think two wrongs make a right. Whether they do or not, it doesn’t change things. It just piles up the wrongs until so many wrongs have been acted upon, that they eventually rot away any right that was there in the first place.

  Floating in the abyss that was death, I closed my eyes, thinking how peaceful it always was here. Obsidian blackness was my only company here. Silence was the only voice I heard. Good and bad, evil and light, they didn’t seem to exist here. In this place, there was only me. Well, maybe several ME’s. I could feel myself the good, sweet, human-saving Valkyrie I was born; the dark, angry, vengeful Valkyrie I had become; and the wounded, pained, untrusting Valkyrie that allowed evil to guide her hand.

  There seemed to be so many sides to me, so many layers and so many feelings. At times, I felt overwhelmed, and I realized that it was those times when killing felt the best. When my fangs were sunk deep into the flesh of a human, and their throbbing artery gushed the sweet coppery taste of their blood into my mouth, I could forget, for just a second, all of the deception that had been fed to me. It was, the afterhours that I dreaded the most. Even in my darkest hours, the guilt that followed my kills was such a thick, treacherous thing.

  Filling me with visions of the lives I’d ended, feeding me bits and pieces of their thoughts and memories, it haunted me, chased me, and lashed out at my mind when I was weak. Guilt was my biggest adversary, because it was not one I could burn to ash, rip apart, or walk away from. It hounded me, clinging to me with its claws sunk deep. I could still see the face of the child I had walked away from, hear the screams of the woman who had burned in my fire, and taste the blood of the man I had sucked the life out of.

  Inhaling deeply, I tried to clear the thoughts of my transgressions from my mind. I didn’t want to see their faces, I didn’t want to wonder what Valkyrian was going through at that moment. How had I felt at the news of Aeron’s death? I had grieved him to the point of destruction, mourned him to the extent of losing my sanity. Just because he was alive now didn’t mean I hadn’t lost my sanity. In truth, I felt it was so far gone that I would never get it back. My thoughts left, and the darkness around me changed. I was no longer alone, but it wasn’t Aeron there.

  His soul was as tainted as mine, his heart as cracked and jaded. I could feel it, his sadness, it oozed from every part of him. Shifting, I rolled onto my side, floating in the void, I looked for him. He was there, although even to my superb eyes, he was barely visible. His black form swayed near me, the gleam of his scythe catching my eye. Heavy black cloaks billowed around him, although oddly enough there was no wind here, only the still of nothingness. Tilting my head, I studied him. His Reaper wings shadowed him just as mine often did, making me wonder not for the first time, if they had a mind of their own.

  His face was dark and his eyes glowed white. “Why do you come to me in this form? Are you here to collect my soul?”

  His lids drooped heavily, and he cut his head to the left once in a negative gesture. “Like me, you, my daughter, are destined to walk the land of the living until the end of times. Why did you allow the celestial blades to kill you like that, when you know you could have prevented it with your flames?”

  I turned away from him, reaching a hand out into the thick cloak of blackness that hung around me. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted Valkyrian to know what it was like to really lose something you held dear.”

  I heard the long exhale. “Hasn’t he already?”

  His question caught me off guard. I sat up, rotating until my upper body faced him. “Has he?” I could hear the sarcasm that laced my voice.

  Orpheus moved closer to me. He reached a hand out, the cloak falling away from his wrist to expose the thin skeletal fingers. I didn’t pull away. I had little to fear. “He watched you burn at the stake long before he knew your reincarnation was even possible.”

  His words had their desired effect. Shock at the truth of what he said, and what I’d done washed through me in harsh waves. I had forced my brother to relive the pain he had already felt at my death once, only this time, he would feel completely responsible for it. Remorse washed through me, but the anger I still felt for the wrongs done to me was beside it, ready to defend me.

  “So I should feel bad? What about him? What about what he’s done? What about what Aeron did?”

  His boney fingers had reached my face, and they brushed gently across my cheek. Stopping on my jaw, he used his hand to force my chin up, making my eyes look into the white orbs of his own. “The suffering of others does not heal our own pain. Do you think that gathering souls is my only responsibility?”

  I shrugged. I didn’t know, and I didn’t really want to care. I wasn’t through wallowing in my self-pity.

  “The grief of those who mourn the dead also falls on my shoulders. It is I who councils them, who sits beside them and soothes their soul when the ones they love have left them.”

  Now, I was fully shocked, and just the slightest bit curious too. Lifting my gaze willingly, I frowned. “How? I wouldn’t think the one who comes for their loved ones would be the one to soothe their grief too. Kind of ironic, isn’t it?”

  He shrugged his big cloaked shoulders in imitation of me. “Irony often falls short of its mark, daughter. By offering sympathy and understanding to those who are in pain, I find that I also gain comfort from the act. I live everyday hunting down those fated to die, and I would be lying if I said it doesn’t eat away at my own soul. When I was young, I looked forward to the death, exhilterated by the excitement of gathering the next soul. Now, however, I tire of all the pain, and all the lives forfeit before their time.”

  I leaned my head back. “Ah, so in other words, you’re unhappy that I’m causing such a pile-up of work for you, is that it?”

  Orpheus smiled, although the image was extremely unsettling. The angel of death should never smile when in full Reaper form. “It is not your lust for blood that upsets me, Valkyrie. It is your total disregard for what lies in their souls that makes me sad. Your mother did not die so that those who deserved to live could die at the hands of her child.”

  The mention of my mother made me blink, and look away. “What does it matter? She’s dead.”

  Orpheus’s voice had lost its patience as he spoke harshly. “Yes, she is, but she cannot rest. Her unfinished business keeps her grounded to this world, like so many others. It is time you pull your head out of your ass, Valkyrie. Go back, face adversity head on, and forgive your brother. If you are angry with Aeron, take it up with him and leave the innocent bystanders alone. Fight with him, yell at him, and fuck him. Whatever it is you have to do to move past this…this abomination you have become. Hell has you in its clutches right now, and mark my words daughter, if you do not free yourself from its grasp while you still have the power to do so, it will be too late. You will become just another pawn and another slave to the demons of Hell.”

  In a burst of smoke, my father was gone. I watched the wisps of the deep gray smoke as it whirled around, seeking airflow, seeking a breeze to follow, but there was nothing here in this place. Nothing but resounding words and weighty truths. I wasn’t ready to go back. I wasn’t ready to let go of grudges, and I certainly wasn’t ready to face Aeron. Why he remained the one person I couldn’t shake, I wouldn’t allow myself to think about. Part of me hated him, part of me wanted him with an intensity that scared me. What was he? How was he not dead? My mind revisited the day I had fucked him, and I knew he shouldn’t have survived that blast.

  Fenix. The word ricocheted through my mind, banging on the walls of my skull. Like me, he could withstand intense flames. Like me, he could be reborn. What exactly
did that mean? I wanted to know, but I knew it was unlikely I would ever find the answers I sought. Was this why I felt such an intense attraction to him, I pondered. In the past, when I was still the young Valkyrie, I had seen those molten flashes in his eyes, and I had thought to myself; what animal lurks within this man? I had always known there was more to him than met the eye. It’s why my darker side desired him so much.

  He was a drug I couldn’t sober from. An addiction I couldn’t walk away from, and now that I knew how it felt to have him buried deep inside of me, to feel connected to him on such a deep level, all I wanted was that high. I had never succumbed to the human habits of narcotics, illicit street drugs and drunkenness, but Aeron was a substance I couldn’t get enough of. He was in my blood, in my mind, and his prints covered my cracked heart. At this moment, however, all I felt for him was hate. I hated that he had such a hold on me, and I wanted to kill him. Perhaps if I destroyed him, the haunted dreams and lustful cravings would vanish with the ashes of his corpse.

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  19

  Fulfilled Desires

  Stalking through the city, I felt like a criminal, peering over my shoulder continuously, worried that someone would recognize me that they would remember, that I was no longer their savior, but now the predator they feared. The sky was dark and turbulent, lightning struck the ground only a few feet from me on several occasions, and trash cans hurled down the empty streets. Buildings lay collapsed in piles of brick, wood, steel and cement. Windows were shattered, and their shiny remains littered the sidewalks. Bodies lay strewn everywhere, some already beginning to decompose, while others were fresh, blood still pooling around them.

  My mind was a conflicted mess of thoughts. I knew my father was right. I had allowed the pain that tormented me to cloud my judgment. I had taken the lives of innocent bystanders because I was angry, and that was no excuse. I was a terrible person. Vampire. Reaper…creature. Whatever you wanted to call me, the facts remained the same. I had let the darkness inside of me rule, and I had closed my eyes and my heart to those who needed me. My pain was not their fault. My pain shouldn’t be a reason for them to suffer. Now, I dealt with another foe. Blame.

  I blamed myself for allowing the dark prophecy to be fulfilled, for letting the last lonely city fall, and for allowing myself to be locked away in Hell, instead of standing here beside the others, fighting to save our world. I had doomed the world after all. I had let my problems become more important than the innocent souls of the world. I was wrong. I was stupid, foolish, and completely to blame. Remorse ate away at me, making me wish I could go back and redo things. I knew that was impossible. Hiding seemed like the only option.

  Anyone who recognized me would know that I had turned my back on humanity, and closed my eyes to the plight of the earth. They would know that not only did I let them down, but I turned on them too. I was no better than Desmond. We had both been corrupted by evil, and now I knew the weight of that guilt.

  Rain began to fall as I scurried down the lonely streets. It pelted me in harsh fat drops, reminding me of the tears I longed to cry. Inside me, I felt the beckoning of demons as they tried to call me home, to regain the control over me that we both knew was slipping. Alongside their calls, another voice haunted me. He too called out for me, knowing I wasn’t dead. I fought them both. I wasn’t ready to face him. My feelings were still too raw, and I didn’t trust myself not to act upon my dark urges and kill him.

  The demons, I could hold at bay, Aeron, however, was another matter. He was so brandished into my soul that I could hardly shake him. I stopped at a corner where the flashing lights that had once signaled traffic at this intersection lay in a heap, their green, red and yellow bulbs flickering. Giving myself a moment to just observe the destruction, my eyes fell on a sign. One of the two wooden posts that held it up was splintered, and the green sign was tilted far to one side, wavering in the wind.

  Until that moment, I hadn’t been sure where I was, but now, as I read the words there, I sighed. Welcome to St. Paul Minnesota. With an ache in my heart, I looked again at the desecration that lay around me, at the rubble and the ruin of the city. I had friends here, but there was no telling if they’d survived, or if they would want to see me. Struggling for control of my inner battle, I continued walking slowly down the streets. So far, I hadn’t seen any signs of life here, and I hoped the humans had managed to leave and hide somewhere.

  “Valkyrie…” his voice caressed me along my shoulders and the back of my neck, raising gooseflesh along the way. A shiver coursed through me. Closing my eyes, I shook my head. Not yet, please.

  “Valkyrie, I know it’s you. Stop running.” His smooth deep voice was strong as ever, and like always, it stirred the desire I felt for him.

  “Go away, Aeron. Get out of my head, leave me alone.” I began walking faster, though I didn’t know why.

  “I’m not in your head, Valkyrie,” his voice was husky, and damn, did it turn me on. I froze, my heart beat picking up momentum.

  Slowly, I scanned the area around me, looking for any sign of him. He wasn’t on the streets, I knew that. Lifting my gaze, I scanned the piles of rubble that climbed several stories. There were a few building which still stood. It was there I caught a movement. Several stories up, standing on the rooftop of one of the few remaining structures, he looked down at me. Narrowing my eyes, I looked him over. His jeans hugged the contours of his thick well-defined legs, and a white t-shirt stretched across his hard abdomen and defined chest.

  A black leather trench coat billowed around him, and his hair hung over his face, ending just below his ears. I could see the hair on his jaw, and I knew he would look rugged and delicious as hell with the short beard. My mouth salivated at the thought of him, but deep inside, my anger was still there, waiting to strike. My grudge against him was not even close to extinguished. I had a bone to pick with him, and when I was done, one of us might be dead.

  I entertained the thought of running, of hiding so we wouldn’t have to go through with this confrontation, but I knew he would just find me, anywhere I went. Perhaps Orpheus had been right, and it was time I dealt with Aeron and my feelings for him. At least I knew the truth now, and when I looked into those intensely attractive eyes of his, I would be able to guard myself from the truth. He hadn’t ever loved me. I was a means to an end, a pawn in this game called war.

  When his boots hit the pavement beside me, the ground cracked. Lifting my untrusting gaze to him, I glared at him, but it didn’t matter how angry I was. I was never prepared for the onslaught of sexual desire that washed through me each time I stood so close to him. His breathtaking mosaic eyes flashed orange for a fleeting moment as they roved over me.

  “I knew you weren’t really dead, Valkyrie. It was unfair of you to leave the others to mourn you as if you weren’t coming back.”

  Pushing my feelings out into the wind, I smiled mischievously at him. “Let me guess, you didn’t bother to inform them otherwise, did you, Aeron?”

  His face shifted for a split second, before he locked down his emotions. “Sometimes, we need to do what’s necessary, Valkyrie. You most of all, should know that.”

  There it was. He didn’t profess to love me, didn’t even pretend. He laid out the truth before me. He had done what he had to, and nothing more. I would deal with the fist that had shoved into my heart and squashed it later.

  With my face perfectly bland, I shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m glad we can finally speak the truth to each other. I understand that you only did what you thought necessary, but why did you have to involve my brother?”

  Aeron’s gaze never wavered from my face. “Because it was necessary. You hold onto the past too much, Val. You need to learn to live in the present, in the here and now. Your weakest asset is that you care too damn much, and it makes you vulnerable.”

  I tilted my head. “That’s curious. According to you, caring makes me weak, but according to the Angel of Death, it is the one thing that sets me ap
art from the real bad guys.”

  Aeron shifted his stance, becoming more relaxed. I knew that it was a ruse. He was anything but relaxed. “Are you going to keep flipping sides, or are you going to forget what happened, and get over it, and pick a side?”

  On the inside, I was a burning, roiling mass of anger and resentment, coupled with the pain of my hurt. On the outside, I was stoic and composed, just like him. “That’s up to me. It’s none of your business. I am none of your business anymore.”

  I spun around on my heel, preparing to leave. His words gave me pause. “You will always be my business, Valkyrie. Anywhere you go, whatever you choose, I will always be there, watching, waiting.”

  I bit my lip in anger. Composing my features, I glanced over my shoulder at him at the same time that my raven-black wings emerged. I studied his face as he watched my wings unfurling. “Why Aeron? Your deception has been uncovered. There is no need to pretend anymore.”

  His eyes moved from my wings to my own eyes. The effect was like a sultry caress along the black feathers, and up the back of my neck. “Because I can’t let you go.”

  I didn’t react. I simply stared at him as though his words had no effect on me, then, I zoomed into the air, leaving him and his pretense behind. My wings stroked the air, zipping past lightning, and fighting the harsh wind. I pushed myself harder, faster, higher, until the ice in the atmosphere crystalized along my eyelashes for the merest of seconds, until the fire raging in my veins melted it away. It rolled down my face in tiny rivulets of now warm water. My mind was trying to think about Aeron and his words, but I wouldn’t let it. I was done with him.

  So engrossed in my flight, and my fight against the trespassing thoughts, I hadn’t seen, and could never have expected what happened. I felt the impact hit me like a bulldozer, flinging me to the side, my wings jerked back, and my neck shot backward like whiplash. My eyes widened as I watched the creature with its blood-red colored wings. It came at me again, and this time, I could see its face. A man’s face.