Fear

by Adrianne Lemke

  Ryan and Traci talked for a little while longer, making plans to talk to the captain that night. Ryan walked Traci outside to her car. “Be careful. He might have seen you with me, which could make you a target as well. Thanks for coming, Traci. I’ll see you tonight.”

  Neither of them noticed the car across the street where a man sat watching them as they talked. Stupid, Ryan. You told her. You really shouldn’t have done that. He sat for a few minutes longer until he noticed the lights go out in Ryan’s apartment. Sleep well, Ryan. I’ll be with you soon.

  Ryan slept fitfully that day; his recent recalling of some painful memories caused him nightmares when he did manage to sleep. When he gave up trying to sleep at around two o’clock that afternoon, he called Kerry to let her know what was going on. He asked her to come by his apartment for an early supper that evening before he had to go to work and tell the captain what had happened. Kerry agreed to come by around four thirty and Ryan spent the afternoon picking up clothes from around the apartment and attempting to get another hour or so of sleep before that evening’s shift.

  He had just started the water boiling on the stove to make pasta when Kerry knocked on his door.

  “I have to show you something,” Ryan said, leading Kerry by the hand into his living room. “I’ll go get it, and I’ll be right back.” He went to his bedroom and opened the drawer in his nightstand that held the notes and pictures he had received from the stalker. He picked up the one he had received that morning, and brought it out to show Kerry.

  “Ryan, what happened last night?” she asked softly as she stared intently at the picture.

  Ryan told her what had happened with Gordon Woods and his theory on how the stalker had gotten the picture.

  “Only other cops were on the scene, Kerry. There’s no other explanation.” He excused himself to put the noodles into the now boiling water, and he put some sauce in another pan to heat up.

  By the time he returned to the living room, Kerry had turned the picture over and had read the message. She looked at him, her brown eyes a sea of panic. “Ryan, this guy wants to kidnap you! Last night was a set-up to try to get at you, and it would have worked if your partner hadn’t been paying attention.”

  Ryan soothed her by telling her that he had told Traci and his captain about the stalker. “Traci was here this morning when I first got the picture. I needed to believe that I could trust at least my partner. I’m still not convinced that I can trust the captain, but Traci seems to think I can.”

  “So you convinced your partner to help you try to figure out who this is after only one night working with her? How do you know you can trust her?”

  Ryan gazed at Kerry steadily as he answered. “The look of panic in her eyes when she saw that I was in trouble. That could not have been faked. Also, she wasn’t in the department when my dad was. She would have been at the most a freshman in high school. She’s only a few years older than me.”

  Kerry nodded, but still looked unconvinced. “Just because she wasn’t there with your father doesn’t mean that the stalker couldn’t have bought her. She could be dirty.” At Ryan’s look she conceded. “Okay, so she probably isn’t, but do me a favor and watch her anyway, please?”

  “If it will make you feel better, I will keep an eye on her. However, I do believe that she can be trusted.”

  “Just remember, you’re not the only one staking your life on this anymore,” Kerry reminded him softly. “This guy has threatened me, and could use me in order to get to you.”

  Ryan sighed. “I know, Kare. I just can’t live my life not trusting anyone. And if my partner, who I should be able to trust with my life on a daily basis, can’t be trusted, then I don’t know what to do.”

  Kerry put her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “You trust her, but cautiously. Just make sure you watch your back.”

  “I think the spaghetti’s ready,” Ryan said softly. “Let’s eat, and then talk about something else. I get the feeling I’ll be talking about this stuff all night. I need a break from it.”

  Kerry agreed, and the two shared a quiet meal followed by conversation about Kerry’s day, and that she was going to be buying two horses the following week.

  “You don’t have to start the lessons right away if you don’t want to. I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I don’t want to push you into it if you’re not ready.”

  “We’ll see,” Ryan answered in a non-committal tone. “I’ll have to see how my week or even my month is going by then.”

  Kerry noticed Ryan’s standoffish tone, and spoke softly to avoid angering him. “As I said, I’m not going to hold you to a certain time that you have to come over. It’s a come as you want kinda thing. Nothing formal, Ry.”

  Ryan forced himself to relax as he nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry, Kerry. I shouldn’t take this out on you. I know none of it is your fault.”

  “Or yours either,” she assured him as she took his hand. “Trust me on that. Nothing that has happened is your fault.”

  “I know; it’s just hard to live with all of it sometimes. Even if this guy is a cop and knew my dad, what would make him think that I should be his?”

  Ryan spoke almost inaudibly, so Kerry wondered if he was even talking to her anymore. “Ryan?”

  He turned to her, his eyes icy again, showing his anger. “What right does he have to try to control me… to own me? He killed my parents and he expects that I’ll let him take over my life?”

  Kerry put her hand on Ryan’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. “Ryan. The guy is a psycho. He has no rights, and he would have to be completely insane to believe that you belong to him. You’ll show him when you’re able to catch him and throw him in jail for killing your parents and for stalking you.”

  “I need to catch him, Kerry. I need closure. My parents deserve justice, and I will do whatever it takes to get it for them.”

  Kerry put her arms around him and answered, “I would expect nothing less.”

  “I’m telling the captain everything, and I will convince him to allow me access to any files that pertain to my parents’ case. I need to finish this, Kerry, or I’ll never be able to live a normal life.”

  “I’ll be here for you as long as it takes. Remember that. I will not leave you because of anything this guy dishes out.”

  “Thank you,” Ryan answered simply, not knowing what else to say.

  TWELVE

  Ryan grabbed another file off the pile that the captain had given him the week before. He had been hesitant to trust Captain Riever at first, but the man had been nothing but cooperative in his efforts to help.

  He rubbed his eyes as he checked his watch. He’d been going through the files for two hours already, and he decided it was about time to quit for the day and go home. Captain Riever had agreed to the file search, but until Ryan was able to find something concrete, he had to search them on his own time. Yawning, Ryan started putting the files into a box to take home, since he had received permission to remove them from the precinct.

  “Hey, partner, did you find anything?” Ryan jumped as Traci came from behind him and spoke.

  “Dammit, Vetters! Make some noise, would ya?” Ryan snapped.

  Traci kicked herself for not thinking. “Sorry, Ryan. So did you find anything?”

  “I found out there is way too much useless paperwork kept in files like these,” Ryan said dryly. “Other than that, I found out that there was a witness who was able to get a partial license plate number of a vehicle that was in the area that night, but didn’t belong in the neighborhood. That probably won’t help much unless we’re able to get a viable suspect. I also went through the officers’ reports and the witness reports as well as the 911 call the morning I…When the bodies were found.”

  “The witness didn’t call it in? That seems strange. Why would he stick around to be interviewed by the cops but not call them?”

  Ryan rubbed his eyes wearily. He was ready to get some sleep, bu
t he knew his partner wouldn’t let him leave until he answered her questions. “He explained that he had no phone to call on, so he yelled for someone to call 911 as he rushed to see if he could help my parents in some way.”

  “That makes sense. Are you going to try to interview him again? He might still have some information that he didn’t remember at the time.”

  “I don’t have a current address on him. I’ll be checking that tomorrow. Right now I just need to get home and get some sleep. It’s been a long night.”

  Traci was instantly contrite. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to keep you. I know you’ve been working on this stuff all week. You must be exhausted. Why don’t you let me take some of the files home with me, and I’ll look them over for you,” she offered as Ryan prepared to leave.

  He nodded thankfully, handing her a small stack of files. “These are some reports by the officers on the scene. There could be something there that they overlooked as unimportant.”

  Traci accepted the files and said, “Go home now, Ryan. Get some sleep. The files will be there when you wake up.”

  “I will. See you tonight, Trace.” Ryan waved as he walked out of the station; he said goodbye to several other officers he had already befriended, and was gone.

  Traci shook her head as she decided it was about time for her to be leaving as well. The reports she had stayed to finish were now done and on the captain’s desk.

  She was a bit worried about her partner. He didn’t look like he’d gotten any sleep over the past week, and it was becoming obvious to the people around them. Captain Riever had even pulled her aside that night to ask her about Ryan. He was obsessing over the old case files, not allowing himself a chance to take a break. I should get his girlfriend’s phone number so I can get her to try to make him relax a little. He needs a break or he’s going to lose it.

  Traci shook off her worries and walked out of the station. It was time for her to sleep. There would be more calls that night to worry about, and hopefully her partner would be awake enough to help her with them.

  ***

  Ryan walked into his apartment and set the files down on his coffee table. It still felt odd to him to walk into his apartment and not see Hunter right away. I wish I knew what happened to him. He was confused because he figured that if the stalker had done something to the dog he would have told Ryan about it. It was time for him to accept that his dog was not coming back. He had put missing pet notices up just in case Hunter had run off, but had gotten no replies.

  Ryan looked through his cupboards, but didn’t feel like eating, so he changed into his sweat pants and went to bed. Traci was right; he was exhausted. Unfortunately, even when he was able to get to sleep, it didn’t last long. His nightmares had become vivid, showing him what had happened years earlier to his parents. After seeing the gruesome scene as a child, his brain had shut out the images, allowing him to retain some distance from what happened. Now, reading the reports and seeing the pictures, the memories were returning.

  The young cop tried to force the images from his mind to allow himself to get some sleep, and was pleasantly surprised when he was able to fall into a relatively peaceful sleep.

  He woke about six hours later, feeling better than he had for the past few days, and he felt his stomach rumbling. After brushing his teeth and taking a shower, Ryan went to his kitchen and prepared some leftover Tuna Helper that he had made earlier that week. After eating he sat down to again look through the files he had brought home with him, hoping to find anything he might have missed the first time that would shed some light on his stalker’s identity.

  Despite having no contact from the stalker that week, Ryan did not feel relieved. He felt himself waiting for the next thing, and dreading that it would be something bad. Ryan punched the coffee table in frustration as he found nothing in his files that would help him find out who his parent’s killer was. He looked through the on-duty roster and compared it to the officers on the scene.

  Ryan froze when he noticed a name that was not on the roster. Frederick Matthews. The name sounded familiar to Ryan and he tried to remember why. I need to call Frank, Ryan decided. He picked up the phone and dialed Frank’s number.

  “Frank? I need to ask you something,” he said as his uncle answered the phone.

  “Yeah, kid? What’s up?”

  “Do you recognize the name, Frederick Matthews? It came up in a file, and he sounded familiar, but I couldn’t remember why.”

  “Yeah, I remember him. He was a tag along with your father, and as I recall, he was in love with your mother. Always acted a little strangely around them, but never seemed like a threat. Why? Do you think he had something to do with your parent’s death?”

  “I don’t know, Frank. But the on-duty roster and the officers on the scene don’t match up. He wasn’t on that night, but he was still at the scene when my parents were killed. Is there any reason he would have been there?”

  “I don’t know, kid. I just remember that he seemed a little off. He went to the funeral, and never took his eyes off you. I remember being a little creeped out by it, but I brushed it off as interest in how you were doing so soon after the murder.”

  “I think I need to have a talk with this guy,” Ryan muttered to himself.

  “Ryan, do me a favor. If you talk to him, have your partner with you. If he is the stalker then he is dangerous. Be careful, okay kid?”

  “I will be, Frank. I’ll talk to the captain and Traci tonight and show this to them. Maybe the captain will think it’s enough to reopen the case. It does seem circumstantial though. There’s nothing that says he would be a possible suspect, just the roster doesn’t match.”

  “I think that would be worth checking out, even if it is a long shot. Good luck, Ryan. I’ll talk to you later. I love ya, kid.”

  “Love you too, Uncle Frank. I’ll talk to you later.” Ryan hung up the phone and checked the time. It wouldn’t be worth calling Traci before the shift started. He would talk to her when he saw her at work. He continued looking at the files, searching for any more information on Frederick Matthews.

  ***

  “Ryan, did you find anything?” Traci asked as she saw him walking down the hall towards the captain’s office. “I didn’t see much in the files I had.”

  “I got a name of an officer who wasn’t supposed to be on duty that night,” Ryan said as he continued walking, Traci walking alongside him. “I’m hoping to get more info about him before I interview him. I did talk to Frank about him, though.”

  “What did he have to say?” Traci asked, noting that her partner seemed to be more energized than he had been for the past few days.

  Ryan explained what Frank had told him, and waited for Traci’s response. Traci looked at him doubtfully. “I don’t know, Ryan. It’s really thin. If he was in love with your mother, why would he kill her along with your father?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But it’s the only lead I’ve found so far, and I want to try to run with it. Will you help me?”

  The intensity of his glare almost unnerved her but she held eye contact. “I will help you get information about him, but if we don’t find anything incriminating than we need to do something else. He could be a good cop, and we don’t want to ruin his career by making it known that he’s a suspect in your parents’ murder.”

  By then Ryan and Traci had reached the captain’s office and were standing outside the door. Captain Riever opened the door, and saw the two officers standing there talking. They looked up at him as the door opened.

  “What can I do for you, Parker?” he asked.

  “Frederick Matthews. I need to know about him,” Ryan said. He recounted what he had found out about him from Frank, and the captain nodded thoughtfully.

  “You have my permission to get information on him, but keep it quiet. He might not have had anything to do with it. If you decide you want to talk to him, let me know and I’ll take care of setting it up.”

  “Thank
you, Captain,” Ryan said as he prepared to leave the office.

  “Just play this carefully, Officer Parker. You don’t want the wrong person to get wind of what you’re doing.”

  “I understand, sir. There could be serious consequences for reopening this case, but I need answers.”

  “I know, kid. Just be careful.” The captain watched as the rookie and his partner left the office. I hope I know what I’m doing, letting the kid run with this.

  Ryan and Traci walked back to their desks in silence. Ryan tried to figure out how to get information about Frederick Matthews without raising a flag for the guy. “Traci, how do we get this information?”

  Traci knew what he was talking about immediately. “There would be files, but some of them would be confidential. Psyche evaluations would be the most useful, but we would have to have clearance to look at them. We could also see if he has received any commendations or reprimands in his career.”

  Ryan nodded and turned his computer on. He saw that Traci was doing the same at her desk, and was grateful to have a partner he could trust. The other officers around them paid no attention to what they were doing, but Ryan kept an eye on them just the same. He tried to make sure everyone was out of earshot when he talked to Traci about Matthews to try to eliminate the threat of the stalker finding out he was searching for him.

  Traci opened the computer files about Frederick Matthews and scanned through them. She found out that he had been in the running for the job that Ryan’s father had eventually gotten, and his work in the field had deteriorated after losing the promotion. After the murder, Matthews had been given the position. “We’ve got motive, Ryan.”

  “I’d say so,” Ryan agreed. He had found the same information as Traci. “Let’s go see the captain; I need to talk to this guy.”