by Sable Hunter
“I’m so sorry.” She started to reach out to touch him, but jerked her hand back before she found his. “I know how it feels to lose something you depend on.”
“Yea, I guess you do.” Josh regretted the loss of her touch. “Tell me about yourself, Emma.”
“I’m just a regular girl, I grew up in Houston, an only child. School was great, I had friends, everything was good until I started to lose my sight.”
Josh listened intently, he’d wondered if she’d always been blind, now he knew. “Can I ask how it happened? Was it an accident?” The thought of her being hurt was a painful contemplation.
Emma waved her hand and he was struck by its elegant shape, the delicate blue veins made him want to trace their path with his lips. “No, it was a just an unfortunate spin of the genetic roulette wheel. It wasn’t a dramatic loss, but rather a slow sad fading of the world from my sight. My folks were older when I was born, my mother passed before I went blind, my dad a few years ago.”
The resignation in her voice stirred something within Josh. “Isn’t there anything they can do?”
“Corneal transplants, maybe. If I ever get great insurance or marry a rich man, who knows?”
He certainly understood what she was saying. “You seem so independent. How do you manage?” He took the last bite of cake, then finished his milk.
The musical sound of her laughter warmed his heart.
“I walk where angels fear to tread, determined not to miss out on anything if I can help it. Didn’t last night’s fiasco make that obvious?”
Josh had been smiling with her, but now he sobered. “If last night was a fiasco, it was all my fault.” He let out a long breath, considering what he should say and how to say it. “I’ve led a pretty wild life.”
“So, I’ve heard,” Emma inserted. “No one could miss the adoration that’s been thrown your way the past couple of nights by the female population of Kerr County – not even a blind person.”
“Apart from my asking you to bid on me, was that why? Did you bid on me, because of what the women say about me, my reputation as a capable lover?”
Emma fanned her face, his question making her feel uneasy. “No, it wasn’t that.”
She went quiet and Josh watched the play of emotions across her face. Some people might say that the eyes were the window to the soul, but her whole face seemed to radiate an intense sincerity, a solemn acceptance of things she could not change – a serenity.
“What was it?” Josh asked, as if her response would answer all the questions he’d been struggling with for years.
“You were nice to me. I liked you.”
The utter simplicity of her admission floored him. “I like you too,” he couldn’t help but add. Studying her face, it hit him that if his favorite actress, Blake Lively, had red hair and freckles, Emma would look very much like her. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? The first time he’d laid eyes on her, he’d been stunned by her looks, but after he’d figured out she was blind, a curtain had fallen between them which seemed to obscure his vision. “But I have to be honest with you.”
“Go ahead, please.” Emma held her breath, almost ready to lay money on what he was about to say.
“Emma, I’m sorry. My history with women is a long string of one-night stands, I’m not cut out for much more.”
She ran her finger over the edge of the table, tracing the wood where some of the paint had flaked off. “I’m don’t expect anything more. It’s over,” she assured him. “I went too far. I was just tired of living alone in the dark, while life passes me by.” She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself tightly. “I never should’ve bid on you.”
“But you did and here we are. We need to start over.”
“You realize what you just said doesn’t make sense. You just said that you only do one-night stands and in the next breath you say you want to start over.”
“Yea, Emma, I know. You’ve thrown me for a loop. I just know I can’t leave things the way they are, not after last night.”
Emma stared in his direction, wishing like the dickens she could see his face. “I’m at a disadvantage,” she breathed. “I can’t see if you’re looking at me with pity in your eyes or not.”
“Not pity, I assure you. Admiration. Regret that I messed things up.”
Emma bowed her head. “Don’t worry about it. Nothing’s messed up. Emergency Services has the money, I got rid of my pesky virginity and here we are - no strings, no expectations, just friends sharing some refreshments. Okay?”
Josh ignored her edict, returning to the topic that was bothering him. “If you’d told me, I could’ve been more gentle, taken my time, made sure you were satisfied.”
Emma gave a little snort of disbelief. “No, you wouldn’t have. You would’ve sent me home after the peach cobbler.”
“We never got around to the peach cobbler. How in the hell are you still a virgin at…?”
“Twenty-six, I’m just twenty-six. And you know why I was untouched. Haven’t you ever heard the old saying ‘men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses’? Well, take that idea and multiply the number by a thousand when the girl is blind.”
“I don’t know, that sexy librarian look is hot,” he quipped, trying to make her smile. He succeeded.
Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her coffee had grown cold. “Be serious, Josh.”
“I am being serious, Emma.” He put his hand over hers, and when she tried to move it away, he held on tight. “I want a do-over.”
“What?” Emma didn’t think she’d heard him right.
“I want a do-over. I want another shot at it.”
For one reason or another, Josh’s proposal struck her as funny. “Josh, this isn’t a child’s game. There was no winner or loser.”
“Yea, there was. You. I didn’t give you pleasure.”
Emma’s eyes widened. “I beg to differ. This isn’t something I want to discuss with you, but I had a very pleasant time.”
“Pleasant.” Josh snorted. “I can do better. I can tilt your world off its axis and make you faint with ecstasy. I can redefine the word pleasure for you.”
Emma’s mouth dropped open and she shook her head. “Is this some kind of pride issue for you? Did my lack of an orgasm ruin your record or something?”
Yes. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“That’s exactly what you’re saying,” she argued with him.
Josh let out a frustrated growl. “Look, can we be honest with one another?”
“Yea, I’d like that,” Emma agreed, then immediately wondered if she was about to regret it.
“Last night was good for me, better than good… Hell.” He stopped talking and swallowed.
Emma held her breath. “Go on.”
“I should have noticed.” He took his hat off and laid it on the couch behind him. “It bothers me that I didn’t notice you were untouched.”
Guilt. He wasn’t feeling anything for her but guilt. “I didn’t want you to notice, Josh.” She pulled the plate with her half-eaten piece of cake closer to her, occupying her hands by tracing the rim. “I just wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to feel normal. Can you imagine what it’s been like for me to never know or experience the things other women take for granted? I’ve never been on a date or held hands with a guy. I haven’t seen myself in the mirror since I developed boobs.”
“Your boobs are spectacular.”
Emma had to laugh again, this time a little sadly. “The night you helped me pick up the broken glass, I asked Avery what you looked like. And then that night, before the auction, you came to my rescue like some knight on a white steed. I wanted to bid on you. I wanted to know what it was like to go on a date with someone I admired. Did I have dreams of something happening between us? Yes. Did I have expectations? No.” Josh tried to interrupt her, but she didn’t let him. “I have no illusions about who I am and what I have to offer a guy, but I just thought that being with you wo
uld give me a glimpse into a world I’ve never known, a world I might never get another chance to experience.”
“Emma, you’re beautiful.”
Emma leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, “I have red hair and freckles,” she told him as if he couldn’t see for himself.
“Your hair is a deep, rich auburn and the freckles look like your creamy complexion has been dusted with cinnamon.” As soon as the description left his lips, he rolled his eyes at himself. Josh hadn’t known he could wax so eloquent. “Emma, give me a chance to show you how good it can be.”
Emma was so tense, every muscle in her body was drawn as tight as a bowstring. “I’m not sure what you’re proposing. Some kind of arrangement? Lessons? A pity fuck?”
Josh counted to ten before he spoke. “I don’t ever want to hear you say anything like that again, Miss Emma. If you do, we’ll try out Isaac’s spanking bench.”
His tone and warning didn’t put Emma off, instead it turned her on. Good grief! There was a great possibility that if she learned more about sex – she might turn into a nympho. The thought made her chuckle.
“So, you like the idea?” Josh was surprised, pleasantly surprised.
“Which one? Your proposal or the spanking?”
“You tell me.”
Emma stood up and walked to the sink. “You’re very tempting, Mr. Long. So if I say yes, what does this mean exactly?”
Josh felt an unexpected relief flood his soul. She was considering it. “Well, it means I show you the ropes about sex.”
“You’ve been hanging around Isaac too long,” she quipped with amusement in her voice. “Go on.”
“We spend time together and you learn more about the male/female dynamic.” She’d been shaking beneath him, so primed for ecstasy that one more touch would’ve set her off and he’d blown it. Josh ached to take her slower, longer, harder, farther – he wanted to bury himself so deep within Emma that she’d never think of sex again without her mind immediately turning to him.
The whole thing sounded pretty cold to Emma. She returned to her seat across from him, folding her hands on the table in front of her. “Okay. I understand what I get out of it. Experience. Confidence. But what do you stand to gain?”
Josh just stared at her like she was crazy. “Other than the obvious?” When she appeared unconvinced, he played another card – one that he didn’t think she’d be able to resist. “How about if you feed me sometimes? Share some of your excellent cooking.”
“Really?” She couldn’t stand to think of him going hungry and eating in a greasy diner every night could get old fast. “That would be okay with you?”
“Yea.”
Emma could feel elation begin to build in her heart. She wouldn’t be buying his time. “This would be sort of an even exchange.”
Even? Not even close. Josh realized he was getting the better end of the bargain. “So, do we have a deal?”
Emma paused, trying to find the right words. “And during this time…will you be with anyone else?”
Josh didn’t even hesitate. “As long as you and I are…sharing a bed, I won’t be sharing one with anyone else.” Josh covered her hands with his, pulling them closer to him.
“Neither will I. This will be the most exciting adventure I’ve ever been on,” she said, then giggled. With her arms stretched out and her hands in his, Emma couldn’t escape, so she just bent her head and hid her face on her own forearms. “Geez. Are we crazy?” Hearing his chuckle and feeling his thumb caressing the back of her hand, she raised her head and blew out a stream of air. “If we do this, I want you to teach me how to make a man want me enough to ignore the fact that I’m blind.”
Her hands were freezing, so he began to rub them between his own. “Emma, last night, I didn’t think about your blindness, I didn’t think about anything at all except how perfect you are.”
“Don’t. If we’re going to do this, we need to keep it casual. I know you can charm the birds from the trees, but don’t. Consider me charmed. Don’t say things to me that will make me fall in love with you, Josh.”
“All right. I can do that. And for the record, I wasn’t trying to charm you and falling in love with me would be the biggest mistake of your life. I was just telling the truth.”
“Thank you.” Emma rubbed her palm up and down her arm, as if she was dispelling a chill. “So, do we start now? Have sex?” She looked over her shoulder to indicate the bed.
Even though she couldn’t see the bed, he noticed the normal gesture and he realized that she was normal – in every way. This woman deserved to enjoy and experience every phase, every step, every bit of pleasure any other woman could expect from a man who admired her. And he did. Josh admired Emma very much. “How about we start slow.” The words cost him. He couldn’t forget how luscious her beautiful body looked, how soft her breasts were, how willing she’d been in his arms and how sweet her lips had tasted. Waiting wouldn’t be easy, but showing her the proper attention and respect was her due. “You said you didn’t know how it felt to hold hands with a man. Why don’t we start there?”
Emma’s anticipation made her shiver. “I’m ready.”
So was he – too ready. He’d set limits for the night, but his aching dick hadn’t got the memo. Josh counted to ten before he started. Who would’ve thought his desire for this one small woman might be stronger than his self-control? If he knew what was good for him, he probably should be high-tailing it out the door as fast as he could.
But he wouldn’t.
Instead, he’d stay and brave the temptation. He was already caught in her web. Addicted. Her kiss tasted like sugary perfection. Innocent and sweet. Holding her in his arms had been like capturing a moonbeam. She was pure fire and he was ready to be burned. “Touch is a powerful thing. Just relax and let me show you.”
Emma’s nerve endings sizzled so hot, she shuddered. Josh cradled one of her hands in his, turned it up and the next thing she felt was his lips grazing the middle of her palm. Ripples of excitement swept over her body as the tip of his tongue tickled the sensitive skin. Then, he began to rub – massage – twine their fingers, lace them together – tight, slow. It was as if his hands were making love to hers. Want churned in Emma’s belly. “I wish I could see.”
The need in her voice shook Josh. He was slayed by her simple admission. “You don’t have to. You just feel and I’ll tell you what I see.”
Emma waited, hungry for anything he would give her – word or deed. “Okay.”
“Our hands are so different. Your skin is so soft and my hands are rough and callused.”
“They feel good to me. Last night, they felt good on…other parts of my body.”
God, she was killing him. He could’ve stared at her all day, her lips were parted and he could hear her breath – tiny pants that were making him crazy. “They look so different too, my hands are wide and tanned and yours are delicate, long fingers and a light dusting of freckles on the back that looks like gold dust.”
Emma thought she might swoon when she felt his lips grazing the back of her hand. She couldn’t stand it. “Can I look at you? Please? Touch your face? I didn’t get to do that last night.”
There was no way in hell Josh was going to deny her. “Come here.” He held her hand and guided her around the table, drawing her close until she was settled on his lap, straddling him, face to face. Her slight weight settled on his thighs and he held his breath waiting for pain, but the slight discomfort he felt was manageable and totally worth it. “Touch me all you want.”
Emma drew in a shaky breath. This was like being handed keys to the kingdom. “Are you sure?”
“Positively,” Josh whispered, his breath fanning close to her lips. This close, he could see deep into her eyes – sapphire blue with the most beautiful silver flecks. He felt as if he might drown in their depths.
“All right, thank you.” She placed both hands on his cheeks and then she began to explore. Running her fingers over his skin, s
he began to take inventory of every masculine feature. Broad forehead, strong nose, high cheekbones, the arch of his brows, the scruff on a chiseled jaw line and firm, yet soft lips. “You are very handsome,” she told him, her hands continuing on their journey over his chin, then finding dimples when he smiled.
“Thank you, now kiss me, Miss Emma.”
Framing his face, she claimed his lips with her own. When Josh’s world shifted beneath him, he had to hold onto something – so he let his grateful hands settle on her sweetly rounded hips.
The slow burn of his fingers caused Emma’s heart to pound in her breast. She teased and nipped at his lips with a flirty caress, letting him know how much she was enjoying herself – how she wanted this to go on and on. Lest he try to move, she slid one hand behind his head and wove her fingers through the strands. Emma moaned and Josh captured the hot puff into his mouth, turning his head sideways to sink deeper, his tongue sliding against hers. Emma melted, whimpering, “Josh, oh Josh.” Beneath her she felt his hardness and it took all of her restraint not to begin to move on top of him – back and forth – until she made herself cum.
Everything within Josh demanded that he pick her up and carry to the bedroom, strip her clothes from her delectable body and impale her on his aching cock. Nudging her lips apart once more, he kissed her tender lips, a demanding fist of arousal clenching deep inside of him. Intense. Fierce. It was either stop now or not stop at all…
Breaking away, he fought to catch his breath, one hand moving up to the middle of her back, pressing her close enough that he could feel her hard little nipples poking him in the chest. “God, almighty. You are so damn hot.”
Emma smiled against his neck. “I am?”
“Hell yeah. Lesson one: how to drive a man crazy. I give you an A plus.” As bad as he hated to, he put his hands at her waist and began to ease her off his lap.