Cailín (Lass) (Anam Céile Chronicles)

by Scarlett, Rosalind

  Still, I dared to hope he had ulterior motives that brought him to our farm.

  Could it conceivably be he seeks out further interactions with me? Swear I detect him watching me from the corner of his eye as he works at times. Yet, nothing else he does infers he has an interest fer me . . . So confusing ‘tis!

  Since commonly I be out wandering the fields beyond our property, many times I be most exasperated to only glimpse him departing as I skipped up our path.

  I knew unsuitable it must be to love him as I did, yet powerless I be to dislodge that which had possessed me soul so completely. Besides, little care did I have fer such thoughts. I thrived upon that life changing passion, that love which had awakened the deepest part of me soul, bringing me to life and urging me to reach fer ever more. It planted a fire in me heart and brought peace to me mind.

  Since a mere tot I be, me Mama had noticed the ceangal I have with animals and especially with horses. She remarked it be a connection on a much deeper level that went beyond a simple affinity. Me father, of course, thought it all nonsense and careful she be not to include him in discussions regarding me abilities, fer not wishing to give him another reason to proclaim me a child of the sidhe.

  One day in late May just past me sixteenth birthday, whilst out tending to me duties with the animals, I noticed Morrissey looked not himself. I went to him and ask him what be the matter and he expressed to me that he be tinn.

  Immediately, I went inside the cottage to inform me parents. Me mama be concerned as I, fer she understood the gift I have.

  Me father, on the other hand, took a bit more convincing, especially since there were not yet any obvious symptoms. But, fortunately his respect and dependence upon that old aiteann made him think twice about risking not taking heed of me warning.

  He drove to town to alert the tréidlia. Dr. O’Connor was not available, so Donovan willingly made the trip out to our farm to have a look at Morrissey. Me father conversed with him briefly, and although I couldn’t actually hear what they were saying, I could nevertheless pick up me father’s tone. I wondered what Donovan must think.

  Me father had to get back to his work, muttering as he left, “Aislinn, don’t you be trailing after him like a wretched mongrel. Let him do his work.”

  Disregarding him entirely, I lingered on near Donovan.

  Unabashedly, I ogled him as he worked. With the few and far between occasions of being so fortunate to be so near him, I had to relish each possible second I be awarded. Now, this close to him fer as extended a time as ever I had been, I be able to really take him in wholly fer the first. I determined to commit to memory each minute feature of which he be comprised, so that me forthcoming preoccupations of him could be entirely precise, having not one hint of vagueness whatsoever!

  Little mole upon the side of his neck just under his jaw … perfectly straight teeth … soft plump earlobes … the way his hairline kisses the back of his neck … tousled waves of hair … the freshness of his face … slight cleft in his strong chin … small dimple upon the left side when he flashes his shy offset smile … gentle wave in the descent of his nose … the rift above his brow when he is concerned … inviting russet curls peeking out the top of his shirt-line … His voice more lovely than the most beautiful music that ever has inspired me soul …

  Just then Donovan glanced back to discover me staring at him intently. Our eyes met and fer a long moment sustained their encounter with a conveyance all their own. He smiled modestly and went on with what he be doing pensively. I did take notice of the way that smile seemed to linger upon his lips.

  When I looked at him, I didn’t merely see him, I felt him. I gazed upon him and I saw all I was to be.

  There be no way to disguise the way he shines. Oh, how I want him to know the things I feel fer him! But then again, I do not. Fer if he does, me fantasy might surely burst! Why must it all be so complex?

  I gawked as carefully he glided his hands ever gently over Morrissey, examining him fer any signs of ailment. Never did I think I would be jealous of an old aiteann, but emerald as Éire I be as I coveted the feel of those hands to explore me body in that same great detail!

  Suddenly I became distracted by the burbling of me belly. Oh, how ravenous observing him affects me! If only he could satisfy me hunger with a kiss!

  “Well,” he began after his thorough examination, “I not be the expert by any measure, but fairly certain I be that Morrissey is suffering from an impending bout of colic, which at his age, could very well have debilitated him.”

  “’Tis as I thought, then,” I confided, mostly to me self.

  “I’ll give your father instructions to keep Morrissey comfortable tonight and, of course, I shall still have Dr. O’Connor come out tomorrow and check him himself just to be certain.”

  Satisfied, I nodded me head, filled with admiration fer him and his caring devotion to his chosen path.

  “I have to admit, Aislinn, I be rather intrigued," he started somewhat inquisitively. “Do tell me. How was it you knew?”

  “Oh! Well . . . you know, I have been around dear old Morrissey fer me whole life, and I be extraordinarily in tune to him, I suppose.” I fibbed.

  After all, what would he think of me if he knew the things I actually be capable of? Would he think me as a sidhe, the same as me father?

  “Hmm . . .” be all Donovan uttered in response, eyeing me rather curiously as he gathered up his bags. “You certainly are exceptionally mature fer only fifteen.” He glanced back at me and I was sure I caught his eyes rove quickly over me form as he said it. A rush of sensation traveled throughout me body.

  Donovan turned to face me and reached his arm toward me, gently taking me hand in his. Just the warmth from the mere touch of his hand upon mine nearly set me afire! I reveled in the fleeting seconds that his hand be delicately enveloping me fingers, subtly fondling them as he deliberately raised it to his face, brought it to his mouth and slowly bestowed a tender kiss upon the back of me hand. Me eyelids fluttered as the sensation of his luscious lips touching me skin sent a current of delight through me as liquid lightning!

  “G’day Aislinn,” Donovan said sweetly as he lowered me now limp hand. “’Tis been me pleasure. I do hope to see you again soon.” He smiled as he looked directly into me eyes.

  I could only nod me head, still tingly from that kiss. I watched him as he walked away. When he reached his mount, Donovan looked back and smiled warmly at me before mounting and riding off.

  Me family they were all amazed that I be accurate, and marveled at how ‘twas I could have foretold Morrissey’s imminent illness. Of course, me Mama bestowed me with a proud knowing smile. Conversely, me father just eyed me suspiciously.

  Chapter Eight

  That next summer I did not pass at Deirdre’s house as customarily I had. Happily, she and Fergus wed at the end of May and were on honeymoon while a house be erected fer them. The knowledge that I be doomed to be confined here at me father’s was grim; yet, I expected that meant I would have the prospect of seeing Donovan on more frequent the occasion.

  Lamentably, I did not see him again fer the rest of the summer of me sixteenth year. ‘Twas long and arduous not knowing when I might lay eyes upon him or be in the warmth of his presence again. Me hope was beginning to dwindle. Even still, me continuous thoughts of him never faded. I began to feel as though me restlessness surely would drive me mad!

  ‘Twas the end of that summer when one day me mama came home from a trip to town and caught me whilst I be in the yard tending me chores to share the good news!

  “Aislinn!” she called to me excitedly. “Come here, Daughter!”

  Curious, I finished what I be doing presently and walked over to her. She grasped both of me hands. I looked at her questioningly.

  “Whilst in Lisdoonvarna today, I crossed paths with Maureen MacDougal!” Mama announced, clearly elated.

  “Oh.” I replied, a bit perplexed. “Well, that be simply grand, Ma. How be Maureen, then?�
��

  “Never mind that, silly lass!” she chortled reproaching.

  Now I surely be beyond a little perplexed.

  “She be the entertainment coordinator fer the Matchmaking Festival this year. And she enquired whether you still play yer fiddle. Naturally, I told her you play as an outright angel!”

  Well, she had gripped me attention now!

  “Consequently . . .” Mama said drawing out the words, “she asked if you wouldn’t mind performing in their first Saturday lineup next month in September,” she finally declared, her hands gripping mine so hard I thought the bones in me hands would surely compress under the pressure!

  Me eyes expanded and me mouth gaped as I struggled to the fathom the truth of this what she told me.

  “’Tis true?” I questioned skeptically. “Please do not say this all be in jest!”

  “Oh, Aislinn, jest you of something such as this, I would never!” Mama encouraged, leaning in to squeeze me. I exhaled, most thankful she had finally let go of me hands!

  I could scarcely believe it as I hugged her back.

  Then I had a sudden realization.

  “But, what of Father?” I asked, fearing none of it would matter anyway.

  “Not to worry about him, Daughter,” she told me reassuringly. “He and I disputed nearly the entirety of this trip home. I made it clear you would be going if that be what you wanted. He’ll not be the one to stop you, I promise you that!”

  “Essentially, agreed to it merely conditionally did he,” Ma informed me grudgingly.

  “Oh?” I enquired uneasily when I considered the possibilities of his conditions. “And pray tell, what might that be?” Me stomach spun itself in knots in anticipation of hearing that which me father had stipulated.

  “I had to assure him you’d take part in the matchmaking games and would snag a lad as a consequence of yer participation,” she confessed.

  I groaned, shaking me head. The opportunity to play me fiddle as this be an honour I dared not decline. Nonetheless, the last thing I wished to do be to participate in some preposterous matchmaking games!

  Especially when I already knew with whom I wished to be. He simply needed time to realise it, too! Still, I feared if were it not soon, me father would govern the likelihood of such circumstances entirely!

  He shall deny me any happiness unless it benefits him in some way. Well, I suppose that explains him storming into the house grumbling upon their return home today. I pray he’ll not be all the more severe with me now, to make his point clear that he’s not happy about it! Although, if he assumes I be nearly out from under his roof, then perhaps he shall very well be all the jauntier instead!

  The morning of me big day, me Mama dragged me from bed well before the crack of dawn to get me chores out of the way so she could spend the remainder of the morning doting over me, readying me fer the performance. She trimmed and filed me nails, brushed me hair, plucked me brows, pinched me cheeks so they would take on a rosy hue, and rubbed me lips coarsely ‘til they swelled up plump and were glossy.

  A several hour trek to Lisdoonvarna by wagon ‘twas, we departed by nine O’clock as she wanted to have me there with enough time to rest and eat before me performance at three O’clock in the afternoon. The trip went well and we arrived with plenty of spare time fer me nervousness to settle right in.

  When ‘twas me turn, I became nearly unnerved. I stepped out onto that stage as me name be pronounced to the crowd, viewing more people than I had dared to imagine. Instantly, me head began spinning and me stomach churning. I squeezed me eyes several times to try to stop it all and regain meself.

  Me ears felt as if they had ignited, certain I be they would singe me hair any moment! Me head floating away again as I tried hard to reason it back to me body. Me arms felt as though they were going numb whilst at the same time the trembling started to take root. That be when I thought about the mechanics of playing and realised me mind be a total blank. Suddenly I found meself feeling terrified at the outcome of this!

  What be I thinking, agreeing to do this? I’ll make an utter fool of meself! So dizzy I feel I cannot see straight, everything is a spinning blur. What if I fall right off the stage? Oh, I think I may vomit . . . And with me arms all numb, how am I to hold me instrument? And what song be I meant to play! Wait! Believe I do not even recollect HOW to play at all! What is it me hands are supposed to do? And how are they supposed to do anything at all, tingling as they are?

  Soon to be grateful I was that I’d tolerated me Mama’s fussing over me. Fer I looked out and suddenly in the blurry sea of faces awaiting me performance to commence, one face did stretch out to me in perfect clarity.

  Donovan! It truly be him! I cannot fathom how I did not see him straightaway!

  His beautiful face wrapped me in a veil of calm and amazed I be at how then I be able to compose meself and focus.

  I inhaled deeply, closed me eyes softly and willed meself to play. Swiftly the notes just came to me fingers without having to think about them in the least. Me arm effortlessly began to stroke the strings of me fiddle with the bow as the cadence just rolled off them in a wave of melody over the crowd.

  In that moment when I played, whisked away I be by the beautiful reverberation that penetrated me soul as always it does, and ‘twas only he and I there. I be playing fer him alone, as always I had dreamt of, and as actually, I had done many times before in me mind.

  As the music derived of me own hands did soothe me, once again I be able to open me eyes. Donovan be the first image they beheld. And overjoyed I be to see he actually seemed truly mesmerized by me playing. His eyes were affixed upon me, and ‘twas evident he be basking in the ambiance of me music and absorbing it, I hoped, much as do I.

  Then I be most certain I heard him say to someone, “Just look at her! She be not even aware of how beautiful she be.”

  Did you truly just say that? Beautiful? Me? Or be it merely me imagination? Should I tell you of me feelings fer you? Oh, but how devastating it would be if you do not feel the same . . . there be me constant hunger once again already growing impatient. How be it that each time I be in his presence, me hunger surfaces out of nowhere?

  Comical, how only a short time ago, I did not know how I would make it through this performance, and now me time was already up, the next performers waiting off to the side fer me to clear the stage! I bowed, waving and smiling to the crowd and then, directly at him as our eyes met and locked fer a long moment. As I turned and walked across the stage, I could still feel his eyes rooting into me. When I reached the back, I sat fer a spell and took in a long, deep breath to revive me body and wrap me mind around all that had just taken place.

  After a brief rest and a long drink of much needed water, I gathered meself and me things to head out. Famished I be, so I intended on finding me mama and request an early dinner. Moreover, anxious I be to hear how they had fancied me performance! Granting, I never be at all sure what to expect from me father. I only knew he expected fer me to secure a proper husband today.

  Blah!

  Upon exiting through the back stage curtain, most pleasantly surprised I be to find Donovan waiting right outside.

  He could not truly be waiting fer me, could he? This day simply could not get any finer!

  “Good day, Aislinn!” Donovan confirmed rather gleefully, a heartbreaking smile upon his face. “I must say, I did thoroughly enjoy your performance. Not any inclination had I that you be so musically gifted!”

  Truly appears as though he actually means it he does!

  “Indeed? Did you not? Rather, what I mean to say, be truly you believe so?” As per usual, me words just stumbled right out of me when I be around him.

  Then, the realization struck that Donovan’s being here at the festival must have nothing to do with me. Surely he be here fer the matchmaking games and is only being polite in saying hello to me. Thereby, I feigned an indifferent air.

  “I trust you have been matched well, then,” I stated, me tone
assuming a cynical air.

  “Actually, I have not . . .” At that, the sweet smile dissolved from his face, and was abruptly replaced with a look of confusion.

  “Well, ‘tis astounded I be, a fine lad such as you, Donovan!” I brashly interrupted, caught up in the ignorance of me defensive charade. “Yet, not to worry, ‘tis confident I be you shall hook the lass of yer heart’s desire, as still the day be young,” I declared somewhat disdainfully.

  Disconcerted by me unmistakable scorn, his brow furrowed as Donovan replied, “In reality, the festivities hold not a smidgeon of appeal fer me,” he attempted to explain.

  Alas, still too caught up in me own renunciation of the slightest probability of his holding any intentions fer me, once again I did interrupt him. “Then why even trouble yerself in being here?” I demanded crossly.

  Donovan stared at me rather resolutely as he stated determinedly, in a tone more austere than ever I had heard from him, “’Tis solely you I be here to see, Aislinn MacAuliffe. I heard you were to be performing here and wished to behold your compositions.”

  “Oh,” I simply hung me head down, too mortified to say anything else.

  Fortunate fer me, Donovan— yet fer some reason unknown— thought me raucous awkwardness somehow endearing, as he smiled pleasantly and said, “’Twould be a pleasure to escort you to dinner. Would you do me the honour, Miss MacAuliffe?”

  I stood and stared wide-eyed at him fer at last I comprehended that his face be gazing back at me in the manner which long I have yearned fer it to.

  Could this truly be happening? Did he truly just invite me to dinner? Alright, Aislinn, compose yerself! Halt yer daftness and utter something to him!

  I compelled meself to snap out of me childish behaviour and affected a sincere, albeit still stunned, smile. “Why, thank you, Donovan, true ‘tis positively famished I be! Most grateful I would be to accompany you to dinner!”