Love, Honor & Protect- Addicted to You 1

by Jamilia Fair

  Despite how beautiful it is out, I can’t get last night’s dream out of my head. I'd dreamed that I was there, that I was with my parents the day they'd been killed. I remember watching them fight off the man and woman just before they pulled out their guns and shot them. I watched their bodies hit the floor with a loud thud right beside each other. I can still remember my five-year-old self running to them, dropping to my knees, and shaking them, begging them to wake up and not leave me. Tears of anguish ran down my cheeks as the reality of them never waking up rushed over me. I screamed, I cried, and I begged, but they didn't move. After about seven minutes of crying, I collapsed on top of my parents and fell asleep.

  Closing my eyes, I try and shake the images free of my mind, but I can't. They're like a movie playing over and over in my head. I don't understand why the nightmare is back or what triggers it. I haven't had that nightmare in over ten years, so why is it back?

  "Tabitha?"

  I look to my left to see Amber making her way up onto the porch. "Amber? What are you doing here?" I cross the porch to meet her. "How do you know where I live?"

  "Well, after the incident at Jeremiah's, I wanted to check in and see how you were doing, but Jeremiah thought I should give you time to recover." She offers a smile. "And Jeremiah gave me your address after I begged for it."

  I shake my head. "You should have just asked for my cell number and I would have told you myself."

  She nods in agreement. "Hey, what are you doing here? I thought Jeremiah had you move into his house." She moves to stand beside me, leaning back against the railing. "After what happened, I didn't think he'd ever let you out of his sight."

  "He did, but I needed to come and get a few things to take back with me." I take another sip of my tea. "Can I ask you something, Amber?"

  She nods. "Sure."

  "Has he said anything to you or Jason about what happened?"

  "What do you mean?" She tilts her head slightly.

  "Well, has he mentioned anything about who poisoned me, or if he's close to finding out who did?"

  She shakes her head. "I’m afraid not. Whenever he comes over, he and Jason always leave the room to talk." She lifts a hand and rubs my arm. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how worried you are right now."

  "I'm not all that worried, at least not when I'm with Jeremiah. Having him around helps, but," I run my fingers through my hair and look up to the sky, "when I'm not, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't concentrate on anything because I'm worried that someone is about to try and kill me."

  "Do you know who would want to try and kill you?"

  I shake my head. "No. I usually get along with everyone. I haven't angered anyone enough that they'd want to kill me." I sigh and lean over the railing. "I mean, the only person who doesn't like me right now is Jessica, but I can't see her going so far as to trying to kill me over Jeremiah."

  "What about any ex-boyfriends?"

  Brian. His name jumps to the front of the line. We broke up almost a year ago, but he never seems to get the hint that I don't want anything to do with him. He's always showing up at my house, at my mother’s diner, and he's always calling my phone. Brian is a bit crazy, but he's not crazy enough to try and kill me. I mean, he's never hurt me or even tried to.

  "His name is Brian. We broke up almost a year ago, but, though he doesn't seem to get the hint that I don't want to be with him anymore, I don't think he's the one that tried to kill me." I turn my head to look at her. "He would never hurt me."

  Amber raises a brow. "Are you sure?"

  I nod. "I'm sure. Brian is a lot of things—he's controlling, obsessive, and moody—but one thing he is not is a killer."

  "I don't want you to think that I'm fishing for information for Jeremiah or anything." She turns her body so that she's fully facing me. "I just… Jeremiah cares about you so much already. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he already loves you, and I don't want to see what he looks like or how he acts if he were to ever lose you."

  "How long have you known Jeremiah?"

  "Almost fifteen years. I've known Jeremiah for quite some time," she chuckles.

  "So, he's not crazy or some undercover murderer, right?" I joke.

  She lets out a throaty laugh. "Not that I've noticed. Then again, it's not like I see him every day, so who knows how crazy, or not crazy, Jeremiah really is."

  "True."

  "So, where is my brother-in-law?"

  "Probably about to head home."

  "Does he know you're here?"

  I shake my head, then look down at my watch. "Nope. Crap, I'm sure he's panicking right about now." I look up at her. "I was supposed to meet him at the house fifteen minutes ago."

  Her eyes widen. "Damn. You better call him before he sends out a search party."

  "He wouldn't go that far, right?"

  She shrugs, but smiles. "Who knows. Jeremiah is very protective of those he loves and cares about." She reaches out and touches my arm. "If you don't want to find out, I highly suggest you get going."

  "Yeah, you're probably right."

  If there is a way that I could mimic how angry, how red in the face, Jeremiah looks right now, then Lucifer himself would cower in fear. I've never seen someone look so angry. Hell, I've never seen someone so red before. His nostrils are flared, his eyes are narrow and his lips are set in a hard, thin line.

  "Jer, look, I'm sorry I'm late." I hold my hands up as I close the distance between us. "I lost track of ti—"

  The next thing I know, his lips are crashing against mine, nearly knocking my breath from my lungs, in a desperate, yet passionate kiss. I hardly have enough time to react before he presses his tongue against my lips, and after I provide access, delves inside my mouth. My hands move up his body and tangle in his dark, thick curls. Oh, how I love his curls. They're so soft. His hands slide down my arms to rest on my waist, digging into my skin, and pulls me flush against him. I moan into his mouth at the contact of his body heat against my own and my fingers tighten in his hair, drawing him closer.

  "Where were you?" he mummers against my lips.

  "Home." I rest my forehead against his. "I needed to get a few things."

  "Do you have any idea how worried, how fucking scared, I was when you didn't show up here like I asked?" His voice is low. "I was about to send out a fucking search party."

  I draw back to look him in the eyes. "I know I worried you and I'm sorry."

  "Someone tried to kill you, Tabitha. They poisoned you. They tried to take you from your family." He lifts his hands to my face. "From me…"

  "Jeremiah—"

  "Do you have any idea the things that went through my mind when I showed up here and you weren't anywhere to be found? Or how worried out of my mind I was when you didn't call?" He shakes his head. "I thought…" He trails off, lowering his head.

  I lift my hands to cup his face in my hands and caress his cheeks. "I'm all right, Jer. I'm here now, with you, safe," I say, lifting his head so that I can stare directly into his piercing green eyes. "I'm sorry for not calling and telling you I was running late. It won't happen again."

  "I hope not. I'd hate to have to handcuff you to me." He is serious, but I can also tell that he's joking.

  "That doesn't sound too horrible."

  He manages to smile this time. "Don't tempt me, Ms. Davenport."

  I swallow convulsively.

  Jeremiah suddenly takes my hand and leads me into the house and to the couch where he sits and pulls me down beside him. "How are you holding up?"

  I tilt my head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?"

  "I haven't asked you about how you're doing after the whole… incident back at the office." He rubs my hand with his thumb. "And for that, I am sorry. I've just been so busy lately."

  I turn my hand over and gently squeeze his. "Jer, it's all right. I don't expect you to just drop everything to take care of me, nor do I expect you to spend your every waking moment worrying about me."

  "But I
do worry about you, Tabitha. More so now, after your close call, than before." His tone is quiet and serious. "I worry about you every minute that you're not with me."

  I frown, trying to process his words, and look down at my hands. I hate that he worries about me so much. He shouldn't. He has more important things to worry about, like his work and his family, than me.

  Placing his hand under my chin, he tilts my head up. He gazes down at me.

  "Talk to me."

  I blink up at him.

  "It's nothing."

  His mouth sets in a hard line. "Tabitha, if this is going to work between us, we have to communicate. We have to be honest and vocalize our worries or dislikes."

  I nod.

  "I don't want you worrying about me. Knowing you worry about me all the time doesn't sit well with me, Jer."

  He arches a brow, then leans down and places a swift, continent kiss on my lips. "You've become a very important part of my life, Tabitha. Me worrying about you comes with the territory."

  I fold my arms and gaze up at him. "What if that's not something I want?"

  He narrows his eyes.

  "What's that supposed to mean?" He growls and he doesn't look pleased.

  I swallow and take a big breath.

  "I just don't want you worrying about me consistently, Jer. You have more important things to worry about than me," I lift a hand and rest it on the nape of his neck. "I don't want you being distracted at work or anywhere else with thoughts of me."

  "Do you really think that's possible?" He arches a brow.

  I nod. "I do."

  He shakes his head. "That became impossible, Tabitha Davenport, the moment you were born."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, because I believe you were made just for me."

  My mouth drops open and I think back to what Amber said. Jeremiah cares about you so much already. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he already loves you. Could Amber be on to something? Can Jeremiah's feelings for me run deeper than I realize? Or am I just jumping the broom here?

  I lift my head to meet his gaze and he's staring down at me, watching me.

  "What are you thinking about?"

  "The truth?"

  He nods.

  "I would expect nothing less," he says.

  I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "I was just thinking about the conversation Amber and I had."

  Really? Am I really going to ask him if he loves me? It's a bit too soon to be asking such a question, right? What if he laughs in my face? Or tells me I’m crazy and have lost my fucking mind? Can I really handle such a response?

  "Well," he prompts.

  Again, I take a big breath. Do not ask this man if he loves you.

  "She told me that you care about me very much already."

  He narrows his eyes. "Is that all?"

  I nod.

  He eyes me suspiciously but relinquishes.

  "What do you think about that? What went through your mind when she said that?"

  I run my fingers through my hair. "Worried, to be honest with you."

  He gazes at me, his eyes widening. "Why worried?"

  I shake my head and shrug. "I don't know. A part of me was happy to hear her say that, but another part of me worries."

  "About?" He moves closer to me.

  I gaze down at my hands, then gaze up at him. "I worry that this, what we are and what we have, won't last very long," I admit. "I mean, what if a few months, hell, days or weeks, down the road, you realize you don't like me anymore? What if you realize this isn’t for you? What am I supposed to do then?"

  Jeremiah raises his eyebrows, no doubt surprised by my blunt honesty. I squirm under his intense gaze. He blinks at me, truly bewildered.

  "Do you really believe that?"

  His mouth is set into a hard line. He looks disappointed.

  "No… um… maybe." I scratch the back of my neck and bite my lip, something I tend to do when I'm nervous.

  Instead of saying something, he moves in closer. He grabs me and pulls me up against him, one hand on my back and the other on the nape of my neck. He kisses me deeply. Hard. I clutch his biceps and squeeze. His hands are on either side of my face, holding my head, resting his forehead against mine.

  "Don't ever question how I feel about you, Tabitha," he says darkly. "If I have to tell you, or show you, every day how I feel about you, then so be it. But don't ever say something so goddamn ridiculous."

  Despite him being upset with me right now, my blood starts to boil immediately. I want him badly. My heart is beating erratically, desire and want replacing my out of control nerves, coursing through my blood and settling between my thighs. A heat so strong I feel like I'm about to burst. Oh… God, I want this man.

  "Stop," he says suddenly, his voice low and serious.

  I blink up at him in confusion.

  "Stop what?"

  "Looking at me like you want to fuck me right now."

  Oh, baby, if you only knew. I'm tempted to tell him that I do, to tell him to take me where we sit, but I don't. As bad as I want this man, I won't give in just yet. Not until I know he's the one worthy of such a precious part of my body.

  "So, you read minds now?"

  "Does your lack of an answer mean you do want to fuck me?" His eyebrows shoot up suggestively.

  His eyes are alive with pleasure.

  With a chuckle, I lean forward and kiss his lips. "I guess you'll just have to wait and find out, huh?"

  Past

  Tabitha

  (16)

  The first couple of weeks with Melissa and Jake have been great. Jake spends a lot of time with Jeremiah and Melissa spends a lot of time with me. Jeremiah and I do our best to switch things up and spend time with them both equally. Jake has taken to me pretty nicely and I couldn’t be happier; he hugs me and even kisses me on the cheek. He even lets me tuck him in at night. Melissa, on the other hand, it’s hard to get her to spend more than ten minutes with Jeremiah in the same room. She still blames him for walking out on her mother when she was younger. Sometimes Jeremiah finds himself wanting to tell her the truth about what happened, but each time, I convince him not to. Melissa and Jake don’t deserve to have the image of their mother tarnished just so she’ll like him.

  “Just give her time. She and that little guy have been through a lot.” I reach across the table and touch his hand. “She’ll come around.”

  Jeremiah lifts my hand to his lips. “I hope you’re right. I want her to feel just as comfortable in this house as Jake does.”

  “And she will, but Melissa is a stubborn young woman. It’s going to take more than talking to her, or buying her things, to get her to open up, to trust you again.”

  Dropping his head onto my kitchen table, Jeremiah groans. “I just wish there was a way that I could prove to her that she means a lot to me just as much as Jake does.” He lifts his head from the table and meets my gaze. “I love them both with all of my heart. I don’t care that she’s not biologically my daughter; I will forever love her like she is.”

  My eyes fill with tears and a smile spreads across my lips. Listening to him talk about Melissa and Jake only reminds me of one of the reasons I fell in love with him. Most people might think he’s this cold man who has no emotions and who finds pleasure in having power, but they just don’t know the man that I know: sweet, sometimes sensitive, big hearted and giving. Though, I can’t really blame them. It’s not like he publicly displays his nicer side to everyone. He says he doesn’t want to come off as “soft” and have those who look to ruin him use his kindness as a weakness. Something else I can understand. All in all, this man in front of me means more to me than any man ever has, other than my father, and it looks like I will spend the rest of my life being surprised by him.

  “Well, why don’t the two of you hang out sometime and you tell her exactly what you just told me?” I gently squeeze his hand. “It’ll be the first step in the right direction.”

  Turning his hand,
he takes mine and lifts it to his lips. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  I chuckle. “You’d survive.”

  He shakes his head, then pushes to his feet and holds out his hands for me. With furrowed brows, I take his hands and allow him to pull me to my feet. He wraps my arms around his neck, then wraps his arms around my middle, pulling me into him.

  “I know what my life is like without you in it: dark, cold and loveless. Living the life of a single man, a single rich man, has pros: partying, having no one to answer to, no one to please and no one’s feelings to take into consideration. But it also has dark times: feeling like you’re alone, despite the people you surround yourself with, spending your nights alone and having no one to love or love you back.” I feel his arms tighten around me. “I don’t ever want to feel that way again. Now that I know what it’s like to have you, I don’t ever want to know my life without you.”

  My eyes fill with tears as I stare into his eyes as I move my hands to cup his face. “For a very long time, I never thought I would meet someone who could make me even half as happy as you make me. I thought I was destined to continue to only attract men who wanted to control or own me instead of loving me as I am and we both know I am not willing to be owned.” A single tear runs down my cheek. “That is until I met you. You’ve filled my life with joy and happiness and for the rest of my life, I am going to show you how grateful to you I am to—”

  Before I can finish, his lips are on mine. They’re pressed against my mouth tenaciously, flooding me with their warmth from head to toe. I part my lips for him, letting his tongue explore my mouth, which only makes me want him even more. All of him. I can feel the tension in his muscles as I’m pressed against him and all I can focus on is the hardness of his body, the wet, heat of his lips and the smell of his body wash that lingers on his skin. He urgently unties my robe, slips his hands inside and palms my bare breasts before lowering his mouth and wrapping his mouth around my dark nipple.

  I toss my head back and moan when his tongue darts out and circles my nipple, then gently grazes it with his teeth. “Oh!”