Past Will Haunt
Page 11
He didn't want it to stop.
While ‘logical’ Gabe knew that they were in the middle of a restaurant, he didn't care. This felt…amazing.
He wanted to weep with joy.
Livy didn't let up. Since this was going to be the first and likely the last time they kissed, she needed to give him something to think about. She was going to walk away from this man.
What choice did she have?
He wasn’t ready.
Gabriel Rothschild didn't want her.
She wasn’t going to make a fool of herself by fawning after a man who was always out of her reach. This kiss was so very important because this was her goodbye to him.
As her mouth slid across his, Livy could tell that he still held back. While he was kissing her, he didn't touch her. Gabriel didn't hold on, he didn't bury his hands in her hair.
He was still being cautious.
It was time.
Slowly, she pulled away.
He didn't stop her.
“Livy. I can’t,” he whispered.
Her eyes filled with tears. “It’s okay, Gabriel. I completely understand and respect that. I can’t either. I can’t make you want to be with me. I have to go.”
Gabe was shocked by her words. She was really going to walk away.
When she stood, he had never felt more helpless in all his life. Oliva Spencer had just turned his life upside down. The order was gone, and in its place was chaos and mayhem.
Damn it!
Livy dropped money on the table and then pushed her chair back. “You’ll have my transfer papers by the weekend.”
It was all she said.
Then, she was gone.
Gabe sat there dumbfounded as he watched her leave. She slipped into her wrap and raced out the door to put distance between them. It was only fair.
He’d been putting that same distance between them too, and now his heart ached because of it.
This was exactly why he avoided her the last few weeks. This was why she scared him so damn bad. He’d felt it. That kiss had changed it all.
While he fought valiantly, he had gone down because of it. She called him the Dragon Slayer, but he’d done no such thing. Olivia Spencer would always be the one who could level him.
She was that fictional beast. She was fiery, dangerous, and now flying away.
That kiss cost him more than she’d ever know.
Gabe would never be the same again.
She’d sealed his fate.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
J. Edgar Hoover
Building
Elizabeth was staring at the napkin as she worked the details of the case through her head. Her mind was running in circles, and she wished she had a way to work through it all.
Damn!
She needed to invest in one of those whiteboards. Maybe that would help. At this point, Elizabeth knew she needed to find what worked for her.
While she should be home relaxing, she couldn’t shut it down. Something about this case was bugging her. What she needed to do was work it out in her head, or she wasn’t going to get any sleep.
She knew how her brain worked.
Looking around the office, it was pretty much empty. The only idiots still there were the workaholics, or the teams just making it in from the field. It appeared that some Feds did have a life outside of work.
Just not her.
While she tried to have one, they’d all fallen flat. Don’t get her wrong—men were great. She’d slept with a few in her time, but not one of them ever kick started her heart.
Elizabeth knew that if she ever met the one, she’d know. Until then, she wasn’t going to get tangled up. She wasn’t going to be like Livy.
She couldn’t be.
Elizabeth was different, and she knew it. There was no way there would be babies, a nice house in the burbs, and a gentle man to love.
It wasn’t her.
She was prickly.
She was difficult.
She was… a handful.
Let’s face it. Any man who got saddled with her had to be special. He would have to be a freaking saint of epic proportions. She was a bitch to deal with, and her stubbornness had ruined many a relationship.
Elizabeth was hardcore, and she didn't try to hide it from any male who came sniffing around. Why would she?
That would be false advertising. She truly believed that if someone wanted her, they needed to love her for all her faults, and there was one hell of a laundry list there.
She was violent.
She’ kicked the hell out of a girl in high school who touched her man. Then, she kicked his ass too.
Crap didn't fly in her life.
Elizabeth didn't tolerate it.
And cops?
That was laughable. Law enforcement officers were a bad bunch. They talked shop, they worried about their careers, and they weren’t long for this world.
Yeah, the only way she was shacking up with one was if it was for some hot sex. That outlet, she knew, would be the only way she’d fall into bed with another Fed.
Elizabeth was going to be a loner, and she’d probably die an old hoarding cat lady in a big house.
It wouldn’t shock her.
Well, at least she had a younger brother. Maybe he’d come by and give her some cherry Jell-O at the nursing home.
Elizabeth laughed out loud.
That visual entertained her.
There was no way she’d have a house full of cats. When you died with a furry family, they ate you. There was no freaking way she was going to become some kitty’s kibble.
Hell no!
She’d worked a few cases like that, and that was why she was a dog person.
As she heard footsteps approaching, she glanced up. Standing before her was Christopher Leonard, and he was out of his scrubs.
“Hey, Doc, you took off those sexy scrubs. Are you heading out for the night?”
He could feel the heat creeping up his neck. Elizabeth was sitting at her desk, her booted heels on the corner. At some point, she’d gotten changed, and she was wearing a t-shirt and some well-worn jeans.
She looked gorgeous. He wanted to kiss her in the worst way. “I was thinking about it,” he said, finally getting the words out.
Even to him, Chris sounded nervous.
Well, shit!
She narrowed her eyes and focused on him. Elizabeth knew what he was thinking. In her mind, she began praying he didn't ask her out.
If there was a God in heaven, then he…
“Would you like to get a drink with me? I thought we could sit down and talk.”
Oh, come on!
Really?
She was going to stop praying. What was the freaking point? No one ever answered her prayers. Now she was faced with a tough decision. Elizabeth knew she was a bad bet, and this man deserved better.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea, Christopher, so I’m going to pass.”
In that brief second, the pain registered on his face. That one expression said it all.
Elizabeth just crushed him.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
That was the last thing she wanted to do. After all, she really liked the man.
A lot.
She just knew that sex caused issues between people who worked together. Elizabeth didn't want to hurt him, especially since he was her ME of choice. That made it awkward too.
“Oh, okay, I just thought I’d ask.”
He got ready to escape. He’d given it a shot, and she didn't want anything to do with him. Obviously, he’d misread the signals. Then again, he always did.
“Chris?”
He stopped, wishing that he could melt into the floor to escape. “Yes, Elizabeth?”
“I think I’ve changed my mind. I can’t focus on this napkin anymore tonight. It’s done talking to me.”
He turned, unsure what she was actually saying. Could he have hear
d her right?
“What?”
Elizabeth knew that she could kill two birds with one stone. She didn't want to sit there and dwell on the napkin, she wanted to head to the pub. Chris needed a friend, and she needed a partner.
This would work out.
“Want to hit ‘The Bog’ with me?” she asked.
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“Well, I won’t lie. Our dead girl worked there, so it’s more business than pleasure.”
He looked disappointed.
“How about this? Tonight you play my field partner, and then next week, when we’re done with this case, I’ll go out with you for fun and be your date.”
He opened and closed his mouth.
“Really?”
“Yes, Christopher, really. Tonight, I want to keep working, since our killer is going to move fast, but Gabe will boot my ass to the Alamo if I go alone. You’re a Fed, technically, so can you go with me? It’s not what you had in mind, but I’d love your company.”
He looked surprised.
“You want me to go with you into the field?”
She wanted to laugh at his wide-eyed wonder. She’d been that green once too. A year ago, she probably had that same look. Now…she was a realist.
In a few years, she would likely be a cynic.
She could see it coming. All the death tarnished your shine, but this man, well, he was still shiny. She liked that the most about him.
“Like I said, you’re a Fed and I need a partner. I’ll owe you one, and I always repay my debts.”
“You realize Gabe hates me, and he’s still going to be pissed you took me anywhere but the morgue and a crime scene.”
“Yeah, well, that’s why I’m doing it too. I trust you, and I happen to like living on the edge.”
“It’s called breaking the rules.”
She laughed. “I call it creatively bending them to fit my needs.”
He grinned. “You know that’s going to bite you in the ass, right?”
She was well aware. The last thing she ever wanted was to be the boss. You had to be insane to do that job. It was like freaking babysitting a bunch of children.
Yeah, no thank you.
“So, will you be my partner until tomorrow when Livy gets back on duty?”
He held out his arm.
“Doc, you’re such a dork.”
“I know,” he said.
Elizabeth saw the hurt. Instead, she took his arm, went up on her toes and dropped a kiss to his cheek. “If you tell anyone I did that, I’m going to hurt you.”
He laughed. “Yes, ma’am! My lips are sealed, but for the record, you’re such a softie.”
“Shhhhhh!”
Elizabeth grabbed her gear and headed with the doctor to the elevator. Once inside, she shook her head.
What the hell was she thinking?
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Ethan stepped out of the elevator just as the other one closed. With his profile in hand, he headed through the bullpen. His desk was at the opposite side of the area, but he knew Gabe would want this paper ASAP.
When he found his door locked, he saw the two desks right outside his area.
All the Feds knew that he put his two favorite agents right where he could see them. By favorite, he meant two biggest trouble makers.
Thank God he was across the room.
The last thing he needed was to be in Gabe’s spotlight. He actually felt sorry for the agents who were.
It had to suck.
Ethan was irritated that he’d come all the way into work and Gabe wasn’t there. Normally, the man worked late into the night. In fact, he was the first to arrive and last to leave.
So many of the agents believed he slept in his office.
He wouldn’t be surprised.
Well, he might as well leave the assessment on the nearest desk.
Sitting, he grabbed a pen.
As he glanced up at the name on the cubicle wall, he scribbled it on the top of the folder.
E. LaRue,
Here is a profile for Gabe. Can you make sure he gets it in the morning? It’s for the Butcher case.
He was gone for the night.
--E.B
As he got ready to leave, something assaulted his senses. There was that smell again.
It was like cookies and spice and everything nice. It caught him off guard and appealed on some primitive level in him.
Ethan looked around.
He wasn’t quite sure where it was coming from, but it gave him the chills. In fact, it also made a warmth wash over him.
It was incredibly pleasant.
For that moment, he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. It kind of reminded him of when his mother would bake him cookies as a kid. There would be that moment when he’d realize what she was doing.
Ethan, for the first time, in a long time, let the relaxation take over. He let the memories come, and the peace settle in. He wished he knew the name of that perfume. He’d spray it all around his brownstone.
It made him…happy.
Maybe one day he’d find the source.
Standing, he opted to get ready to leave. He was going out in the field tomorrow with Jay, so he needed to get some sleep.
He hoped the case brought him some excitement.
Ethan liked to live on the edge. He needed a challenge and adventure.
He had so much to prove to the world, and so little time to do it. Agents burned out fast, and he already knew his fate.
It was destiny.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Across Town
Livy was nearly home. She had a few more feet until she made it to her steps. While she didn't mind walking around in the city alone, tonight, she was actually worried.
It felt like someone was watching her.
Why?
She didn't know.
The hairs on the back of her neck were standing, and she didn't want to risk it. She didn't have her sidearm with her. When she got changed before dinner, she opted to leave it at home.
Now, she wished she hadn’t made such a rookie mistake. If she made it home, she’d never do that again.
She swore on her life.
As she approached the steps, she heard the running from behind her.
Someone was about to reach her.
Livy got ready to defend herself. As a hand touched her arm, she spun, swinging out with her fist.
She made contact.
The man was hit squarely in the groin and crumbled to his knees. That one shot was all it took to fell the giant man.
Then she realized who she took down. In the light from the streetlamp, she saw Gabe.
Shit!
She just gave her boss a nut shot.
This wasn’t going to end well.
“Oh my God!”
He fought the need to throw up.
“Gabriel! Are you okay?” she asked, crouching down beside him.
“I’ll. Be. Fine.”
She was beyond embarrassed. Oh, she’d gotten her wish. She wanted to put her hands on Gabe’s junk, and she just did. This was proof that the universe hated her guts.
This night was going from bad to worse.
“Oh, Gabriel, I’m so sorry,” she said, helping him to her steps. “I heard running, and I went into defense mode. I was freaked out that you were trying to hurt me.”
Yeah, someone definitely was feeling some pain. It was him and the balls now relocated to his throat.
He made a mental note not to do that again. Livy wasn’t screwing around. She didn't pull that strike.
“It’s okay. I didn't want kids anyway.”
Livy sat beside him and pulled a tissue out of her purse. Little beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. As she wiped them away, he began breathing normally again.
“I am so very sorry.”
“I’m okay.”
She stayed by his side.
 
; “So, this is your place,” he said, trying to regain his dignity. He was a large man, and he’d been dropped by a MUCH smaller woman.
If this got out…
“Yes, I know it’s further out from work, but I love the neighborhood. Generally, it’s safe here. Then again, my neighbors might want me to leave after this. Apparently, I’m a menace to the opposite sex.”
He glanced over. “I’m sorry I scared you. I was trying to catch you before you made it inside.”
“It’s okay. What did you need?” she asked.
Gabe felt that wave of wariness as he had a choice to make. Why did he race after her? Could he actually pull this off?
No. He was chickening out.
“I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I was worried about you.”
So, he’d been the one following her.
Well, at least she felt better.
“Thank you. I appreciate your concern. I’ll let you get home. I’m sure you have more important things to do than make sure I’m safe.”
Her words were like a blade to his heart. She was seriously over him and their situation. In that moment, he knew she was going to follow through and walk away. Maybe it was silly, but that broke him. Maybe that was one more reason why he didn't get attached. His father had been married to the FBI, and his wife had left him. His uncle had been in the same boat.
Gabe assumed he’d have that same outcome.
It scared him. She scared him. Livy made him feel things that could destroy him.
“Olivia,” he said, touching her cheek.
She gave him the opportunity to give it one more shot. “Would you like to come in?” she asked. “I think I have whiskey in the liquor cabinet.”
Gabe knew he had a choice to make. So, he stood. “I’d love to come in, Livy, but I won’t.”
She stared up at him. This was the last time she was going to try to reach him. She couldn’t keep doing this. Apparently, he did just want to make sure she got home safely.
“Oh, okay. I understand.”
“I don’t think you do.” He was about to do something so incredibly stupid. Before he raced after her, he measured it all in his head. There were two choices, and he’d weighed his options.