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by Bailey West

“You handled her, though.”

  “Yeah, but what gave her the courage to come and confront me? I’m the damn victim!”

  “She was exercising that privilege they are all born with. You know they never see us as the victim. They are always right, and we are always wrong even when we were forced to come to this country, forced to work for free and forced to nurse their babies.”

  “You preaching real good!” I laughed.

  “Come on. Let’s get back upstairs.”

  I walked out the door past Laila. She followed behind me.

  “Wait a second, Ms. Patterson,” Laila said while stopping at the massive security desk. “Um, Fred,” she said while reading the security guard’s name tag. “Why did you let that woman up to the tenth floor when you have been given explicit instructions not to?”

  “I uhh…she said…”

  “She said what Fred?”

  “She said she was with the district attorney’s office and didn’t need an appointment.”

  “Fred, what were your instructions?”

  “Not to let anyone up to the tenth floor without an appointment.”

  “Did Ms. Patterson tell you something different?”

  “No, but…”

  “Did I tell you something different?”

  “No, but…”

  “But what Fred?”

  “She said she had to deliver something to the law office for a case.”

  “Did she show you her credentials? The package? Anything?”

  “No…”

  “Correct, Fred. She did not. Are you aware that a woman was attacked on the tenth floor because of the lame-ass security that was here before you?”

  “I knew about the attack.”

  “You were itching to see something happen like that again?”

  “What? NO!”

  “Obviously you were Fred because you didn’t follow directions.”

  She got so close to his face that their noses were almost touching.

  “I don’t give a care about who they say they are, where they come from or what they are delivering. I don’t care if it’s Jesus Christ delivering a long-awaited blessing, they are not allowed on the tenth floor without an appointment! Is that understood?”

  “Yes, yes. I got it,” the security guard rushed.

  “This is what we know for sure. The shooter came from this car,” Countee pointed to the screen mounted on the wall in his office, “The car was reported stolen that morning from a neighborhood near the courthouse. We know that there were at least two occupants in the car. One driving the car and the other one was the shooter. The car was found in East Saint Louis, completely scorched, destroying all evidence that may have been left behind.”

  “There were no cameras on or near the courthouse that would have caught one of their faces?” Xavier asked.

  “Yes but the footage is grainy. The cameras they use are old and outdated. We’ve sent the footage away to an expert to see if he can clean it up for us,” Laila explained.

  “What have the cops come up with?”

  “I am monitoring everything the cops are doing, so we know what they know,” Dontae, one of the men who worked with Countee, answered, “Right now, they don’t know much. They seem to be working the case but are not getting anywhere.”

  “Then what do we know?” Roc asked, “The streets are silent. Whoever did this went into hiding immediately and didn’t share their plans with anyone? Well, with anyone that’s willing to talk.”

  “We know that whomever did this is a coward. He didn’t walk all the way up on El and shoot him. He kept a safe distance. We know that he is afraid of being caught because he hasn’t taken credit for it. And we know that we are going to find him,” Countee answered.

  “We are going to figure this out. Whoever it is, is not smarter than the people that are in this room. They better stay low and keep moving,” Coco said.

  “That’s all that I have right now. Averie, can you stay behind?” Countee asked.

  I nodded and remained in my seat while everyone except for Laila left the room.

  “I heard about the unexpected pop up from Leathen’s wife and lapse of security at the front of the building,” Countee said.

  His dark, intense eyes made him appear to always be in thought like his mind never stopped going. That didn’t detract from his handsomeness, though. His square jaw and cognac colored skin probably drew a lot of attention from women, but he often seemed to look right through people.

  “Yes, apparently, she thought that Barry and I were having an affair. I quickly dispelled that myth. I wouldn’t deal with a man like Barry, ever.”

  “Laila said she mentioned something about hearing him say your name on the phone?”

  “Yes, but it could have been during the time of the trial. He would have said my name a lot then.”

  “Possibly…”

  “Is something wrong, Count?”

  “No, it’s not wrong, just suspicious. I need to get to his cell phone records and find out who he’s been chatting with. It’s going to take some time, but I will put someone on it right away.”

  “He’s just a creep, right? Like there is no grand scheme or anything behind his actions, right?”

  “I will need to get his cell phone to answer that question accurately,” Countee surmised.

  “Do you think all of this crap connects to El getting shot?”

  “If you are asking me if it’s your fault El got shot, then no. You didn’t have anything to with that. I can’t rule out any connections right now, though.”

  Great.

  “Averie I see you thinking, don’t. Let us handle this, all of it. It’s what we do,” Laila said.

  “I know that, and you all are doing a great job but the attack on me, now the shooting. How could it not be connected? It’s happened all at the same time.”

  “Yes, they did happen at the same time. Yes, they could be connected. But that still doesn’t mean it was your fault that El was shot so you shouldn’t be trying to shoulder any blame. You already have a lot to handle. Don’t add guilt to that list,” Countee said.

  Averie

  Two weeks after the shooting…

  “Victoria, I have some food coming up in about an hour. I ordered it from that salad place you all said you liked so much,” I said after stopping at the nurse’s station.

  Victoria was one of the nurses that cared for Samuel in the evenings. She was compassionate, thorough in her duties and a great teacher. She’d taught me all about the things they did daily for Samuel.

  I learned how to clean him and exercise his legs and arms. We moved him around to avoid bed sores, and I learned how to read the machines that monitored him. I learned most of that from Victoria.

  Since Samuel had been in the hospital, I made it a habit of ordering dinner a couple nights a week for the evening shift and lunch for the morning crew. I wanted to continually show my appreciation for the fantastic job they did with Samuel. They all made us feel comfortable.

  “You got them to deliver it? We’ve begged them to add a delivery option, but they haven’t. One of us usually has to sacrifice our lunch hour to pick it up for everyone else,” Victoria explained.

  “No, my sister is picking it up for me since it’s close to one of her daycare centers.”

  “We all gone gain weight foolin’ with you, Averie,” she smiled.

  “Aye, more cushion for the pushin’. That’s what my grandma always said.”

  “I know that’s right!”

  We high-fived.

  “Hey Ray,” I said as I approached his makeshift station. He’d set up a small desk to accommodate his laptop and phone right outside of El’s room and across from the security that stayed at the door.

  Ray was still performing his daily duties and working his regular hours. He was fielding calls and answering emails while checking on El at the same time. He said his paychecks didn’t stop, so he wasn’t going to stop working. He was loyal. I loved him for
that.

  Gretchen, El’s secretary, was the same way. She’d started working with Xavier since he was in charge of the firm but she called Ray every day and came to the hospital often to check on Samuel and eat lunch with Ray.

  “Hey, Vee,” Ray said.

  “Any changes?”

  “No, none to speak of. He’s fighting, though.”

  “Yeah, I know he is.”

  “Pastor JD and Lady Elisa are visiting with El now. They just got here.”

  “Oh, well I will wait until they leave.”

  “No, go ahead in. I’m sure they want to see you too,” Raymond encouraged.

  The scent of fresh flowers and cleaning solution hit my nostrils as I opened the door to Samuel’s room. There seemed to be a new bouquet of ‘get well’ flowers delivered every day. His room was decked out with wall to wall floral arrangements, fruit baskets, cards, and balloons.

  People sent emails, DMs, and letters to let the family know that El was in their prayers. The support was overwhelming and very much appreciated. Vivian decided not to release any information about his condition to the public, and I agreed. The shooter had not been apprehended, and Samuel was a private man. He wouldn’t want his business all out in the streets.

  He’d made it through that first night that the doctors didn’t think he would and then he made it through the second night. He has been fighting and getting stronger every day. The doctors took him off the ventilator, and he was breathing on his own which was miraculous, according to the hospital staff.

  Elisa and JD were both standing at the side of Samuel’s bed.

  “Hi,” I said quietly as I hugged Elisa and then JD. “How are you both?”

  “We are well, sugar. Thank you for asking. How are you?” Elisa asked.

  “I could be a lot better but…” I looked down at Samuel.

  “Yes, we’ve kept our petition before God concerning El,” Elisa consoled.

  “Thank you. I just keep hoping that one day soon I will walk through that door and see him sitting up in the bed waiting on me.”

  “I want that too. I miss my friend,” JD said.

  “Please have a seat,” I motioned to the chairs in the room.

  I checked on Samuel’s feet and hands before I sat down. I didn’t like it when his hands and feet were cold. I’d usually ask for a blanket from the warmer or I would ask for the thermostat in his room to be adjusted. He seemed fine at the moment.

  I sat down in the chair next to Elisa.

  “Elisa, is there something different that I need to ask God for when I pray? I’ve asked more than once for God to let the doctors see something different to explain this situation or let Samuel wake up, but nothing has happened.”

  “Where is God in all of this, right? That is an age-old question that everyone tries to answer but we really can’t. We do know that God always hears us. He’s always present. Yahweh never leaves us nor does he forget about us but He doesn’t always answer. And even when He does answer, we don’t always like the answer. So, no there is nothing else that you should be asking for. God is sovereign. He moves when he wants to move and does what He wants to do. There is no magic formula or equation to get Him to do anything. We have to wait,” Elisa explained.

  “I just feel so helpless. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.”

  “I know. So do I,” Elisa said.

  “Do you know who Saul was in the Bible?” JD asked.

  Am I really about to be quizzed on my bible knowledge while my boyfriend is laying in front of me in a coma?

  “He was the King of Israel before David.”

  “Right. He was. According to the Bible, Saul was tormented by an evil spirit. We could probably equate it to depression in modern times. One of Saul’s advisors told him about David’s musicianship, he played the lyre. Similar to a harp but the construction and performance are different. Saul sent for David, and he played the lyre when the tormenting spirit troubled Saul. When David played, the torment would stop, and Saul would feel better. That event describes the power of music. Music has the ability to minister to your subconscious and create change. Music can set an atmosphere and a mood. Think about it, you choose certain music depending on what you are trying to accomplish. You put on certain songs when you are about to clean the house. You choose music when you are planning a romantic evening.”

  “Yeah, I listen to a lot of Tupac before I go into the courtroom. It fuels me.”

  “Right, that’s one of the reasons why music is such an important part of our church services. I brought over this mp3 player. I know it’s old school. Everyone uses their phones now, but I loaded it with songs of healing to set an atmosphere of deliverance and facilitate the healing of Samuel’s body. The same way David played for Saul, we will play these songs for Samuel. Play it lightly in the background whenever you can but loud enough for Samuel to hear it.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  I’d never heard of anything like that, but I was willing to do whatever it took for Samuel to wake up and be healed.

  “I don’t know what God’s plan is for this situation. My prayer is that my friend makes a full recovery. I can’t call it though. All I can do is petition God and wait. There is a scripture that says put God in remembrance of his Word. We are going to do that,” JD said.

  “You said that you didn’t know God’s plan for this situation, but I don’t understand that. You talk to God. Doesn’t He tell you things?”

  “God shares lots of things with me; when it’s my business. Some things are not my business. I trust God’s plan and his promises to me even though right now, I don’t understand. That’s what faith is.”

  I nodded.

  “I get it. I know we are not supposed to question God, but I don’t understand why this had to happen.”

  “Who said we can’t ask God questions? Before Jesus went to the cross, he asked more than once to let the cup pass from him which basically means, ‘I don’t want to do this. Is there another way?’ When Jesus was on the cross, he asked, ‘why have you forsaken me?’ So, ask away. Sometimes you will get an answer, and sometimes you won’t, but God doesn’t mind you asking. He understands that you will be confused, angry, frustrated and every other human emotion. He made you remember?”

  Averie

  Three weeks after the shooting…

  “Are you good, Vivian or would you like for me to get you some water or tea?”

  “No, I’m good. Thank you.”

  Vivian and I were sitting in Samuel’s hospital room quietly doing our own thing. She was writing something in her notebook, and I was going over some trial materials I’d just received. We’d fallen into a routine of spending evenings together with Samuel, enjoying each other’s company and not really feeling the need to always talk. I was already fond of Vivian but watching the way she cared for Samuel made me appreciate her even more. She loved him but didn’t treat me like her competition.

  “Samuel wasn’t a mistake or an accident,” Vivian said.

  I looked up from my computer to give her my attention.

  “He wasn’t,” she nodded. “I planned and prayed for him. I watched Reggie for years hoping he would notice me. I went to every rally he hosted. I attended every speaking event he had and volunteered at every outreach program he organized. I remember the day I realized I had his attention. It was at a rally for an increase in minimum wage. My job was to make sure all the speakers had water and knew when it was their turn to speak. I handed Reggie his water and turned to walk away, but he caught me by my wrist and said, ‘Thank you, Viv,’ and smiled. I almost passed out,” she chuckled.

  “I didn’t know he knew my name! I mean we grew up in primarily the same neighborhood, but he was Reginald Elkanah. That name meant something, you know? I know you met him, so you see that even behind bars he has a presence. The kids call it swag. Anyway, after that, he would find small assignments in the organization to keep me close, but I’d started dating Avis, Torrey’s dad
and he was with someone at the time too. The attraction was undeniable, but I was a one-man type of girl. I got pregnant with Torrey and thought any chance I had with Reggie had passed. Then Avis died in a motorcycle accident shortly after Torrey was born and that was our chance. I wanted Reggie, and I wanted his child. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a whore, but it wasn’t about trapping him. I just wanted a piece of him, forever. Even if I couldn’t have him, I could have a part of him. We started a relationship, and we loved each other for real. He was serious about his views on the community. The passion he had for seeing us as a people come up turned me on. We didn’t tell a lot of people about our relationship because he had started getting threats and he didn’t want to put me in danger. I didn’t get a chance to tell him that I was pregnant before he left without telling me. It was like one minute he was there and the next he wasn’t. I was devastated and livid! I thought he didn’t love me. I thought maybe I wasn't militant enough or more aware. I didn’t know. When the mind is left to wonder, it can come up with some horrible scenarios. I had my baby, and when they put him in my arms, all I saw was the man that I loved. I saw Reggie. I named my baby Samuel for two reasons. One because I prayed and asked God for him just like Hannah did in the Bible. Second is because in the Bible Samuel's father name was Elkanah which is Reggie's last name. And I could call him by his father's name and never have to explain it. Samuel means asked of God, or God has heard. Samuel, in the Bible, was not a king, he was a kingmaker which meant he had unlimited power. That’s why I know he is going to pull through this. His very existence was in God’s plan, and I know the plan has not been fulfilled.”

  “Can I ask you something? If it’s not my business just say so.”

  “I don’t have anything to hide, anymore.”

  “Why didn’t you tell El who his biological father was?”

  “Honestly? I was afraid. I was scared he would hate me for not telling him from the beginning. I kept telling myself that this would be the year I would tell him the truth but those years came and went. I’m sure he told you when he met Reggie, right?”

 

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