Where was he?
Where was Maggie? He had to find her! He spun again, staring up at the sky, trying to figure out the position of the sun. He staggered under a rush of dizziness, empty stomach heaving. Ben! Where are you?
Had he shouted it out loud? He wasn’t sure. His chest tightened, and he looked up again, feeling more alone than he ever had in his life. He had to find Maggie! She couldn’t be dead. He spun one way and then the other. No, no, no, no—
When the shot came, it echoed distantly, and he stared down at the rifle, expecting to see blood flowing over his hands. There was only dirt.
Another shot rang out, birds squawking in startled flight. Jason looked down again at the rifle. It wasn’t him. Someone else was shooting. Was it Brown? Oh God, what if Ben was in trouble?
Images flickered through his mind—Ben sitting by the campfire licking gooey marshmallow off his fingers, singing along with them. Buckling Jason’s life jacket, his blue eyes clear and close, cheeks creasing in a smile. Crouching by Maggie on the Road to the Sun, telling her all the things she wanted to know with endless patience.
Jason charged toward the sound. He hadn’t protected his baby. He wouldn’t fail Ben.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Heart thumping, Ben stared down at the body, cataloguing its features: greasy mess of brown hair, weak chin, bulky muscles and broad chest with a gaping, bloody hole torn through it.
Not Jason. Not Jason. Not Jason.
They’d heard the shots coming from the next search quadrant and had raced over, Ben running until his lungs burned even after the report on the radio said it was Brown. He just had to make sure.
“You’re trampling the scene. Move back,” an FBI agent ordered him, her tone brooking no argument.
Other agents spoke on radios, clipped voices buzzing around him. In the distance, the thumping of helicopter rotors drowned out the usual sounds of the forest—birds and insects and the scurrying of animals through the underbrush.
“We have to find him,” he said stupidly.
The woman nodded briskly, her short red hair falling over her forehead. “It’ll be easier now. Straight forward search and rescue. Don’t worry.”
Don’t worry.
His bark of laughter had her eyebrows shooting up. “Maybe you should head back. You’ve had a rough couple of days.” She called to someone, “Jones! Let’s see about—”
Through the trees, a flurry of voices exploded like a grenade. “Put the gun down. Now!”
Ben shook off the agent and pushed through the foliage, leaves slapping his face. In the space between two ancient pines, Jason stood, the rifle in his shaking hands, pointing forward.
Pointing toward at least four agents, who’d pulled their weapons and barked commands, shouting over each other as Jason blinked at them, eyes wide in his dirt-streaked face.
“What?” Jason rasped.
Ben was in-between the agents and Jason in a heartbeat, reaching out as voices cursed and ordered him to move. He ignored them. “Jason, it’s me. It’s okay. They’re FBI agents. No one’s going to hurt you. Give me that.”
“Ben? Are you okay?” Jason stared, lips trembling.
“Yes. I’m fine. Give me the rifle.” The tip of the barrel brushed his chest.
“What?” Jason looked down, shaking his head and exhaling sharply as if surprised to see the weapon in his hands. “I thought you were in trouble. I didn’t mean to…” He released the rifle, and Ben held it back behind him for an agent to take.
“It’s okay.” Ben cupped Jason’s face in his hands. There were dried tear tracks through the dirt, and Ben ached. He never wanted Jason to hurt again. “Maggie’s alive. Brown was lying, and he’s dead. He’ll never hurt anyone again. Maggie’s safe, Jason. Do you hear me?”
Jason panted, his chest heaving. “Maggie?”
The short, redheaded woman Ben had been speaking to pushed in. “He’s clearly in shock. Jason, I’m Agent Reardon. We’re going to—”
Ben ignored her. “Maggie’s alive, and she needs her father.”
“Maggie’s alive,” Jason repeated. His voice strengthened, and he grasped Ben’s shoulder. “She’s alive?”
Ben’s throat tightened, tears and a joyful smile battling. “She’s alive. She’s okay, Jason.”
Jason shuddered, clinging to him. Relief at having Jason in his arms again sang through Ben’s veins. “You’re both safe.”
“Thank you. Oh God. Maggie’s okay.” Jason repeated it a few times, as if it would make it more true. “How?”
“I found her by the river. She’s at the hospital in Kalispell. They said she’ll be just fine.” He glanced at Reardon.
She nodded. “We just got a report that Maggie’s doing great. Very anxious to see her dad, so let’s get you moving. Chopper’s coming to the closest landing spot, by the Silver Bark campground.”
Ben kept his arm tightly around Jason’s shoulders as they followed through the trees and to a ranger jeep. They bounced along a curving dirt road, Agent Reardon in the front and Jason and Ben in the back. Ben’s co-worker Jim was behind the wheel, grinning from ear to ear.
Jason sagged into Ben’s side. “You saved her. Thank you.”
He shrugged. “She saved herself. That’s one tough kid you raised. She jumped in the river to get away.”
Choking on a sob, Jason exhaled. “My poor baby. Thank you for finding her. Thank you.” He reached across Ben for his hand, threading their fingers together, squeezing so hard their nails went white. “Is this real?”
Ben squeezed back. “Yes, I promise. You and Maggie are safe.” He drew Jason’s head down onto his shoulder, Jason’s uneven breath warm on his neck.
Maybe it was crazy, but Ben wanted to keep them safe forever.
“Daddy?”
Jason’s heart exploded, joy and relief flowing through him like electricity as he leaned over her hospital bed and gathered her close, careful of the IV in her arm. “I’m here.” He inhaled deeply, smelling medicinal soap and Maggie, the indefinable scent she’d had since she was a baby in his arms.
It was really her. She was really okay. She wore a blue Montana sweatshirt over a hospital gown, a plastic ID bracelet on her wrist.
“I missed you, Daddy. I’m so glad you’re here.” Her voice was hoarse, and when she coughed, her lungs rattled with congestion, but she was alive. His little girl was breathing and talking and alive.
“I missed you too, baby. I missed you so much. I love you, Maggie. I love you more than anything.” He leaned back and perched on the plastic guest chair. “You know that, right?”
“Duh. Of course.”
He laughed, and it felt so damn good. “Same old Maggie.” He glanced at Ben, who stood inside the doorway, his wide smile creasing stubbly cheeks.
“I love you too, Dad. Are you okay?”
He’d let Ben take him into the bathroom and wash his face and hands so he didn’t scare her by looking filthy and crazed. He’d closed his eyes and let Ben wipe his face with a warm cloth, Ben’s big hands gentle. “I’m fine. Better than fine. I’m amazing now that I’m here with you.”
“Me too.”
Jason stroked her hair and examined her face. She was pale, dark circles under her eyes, but he didn’t see any marks on her aside from a scratch on her cheek. He took a deep breath. “You told the doctors that man didn’t hurt you. Are you sure? You don’t have to be afraid. You can tell me anything, no matter what.”
“I know. He just yelled at me when I was too slow. Sometimes he was nice. It was really weird. But he didn’t do anything bad like what you’re thinking.”
Jason exhaled slowly, letting the relief fully sink in. “Okay, baby.”
She smiled over his shoulder. “Hi, Ben.”
“Hi, Maggie.” He came to stand beside Jason, solid and reassuring.
“Did Ben tell you he saved me, Dad?”
Ben said, “You saved yourself. I was just lucky enough to stumble across you.”
; “When I woke up and you were there, I knew everything would be okay.” She gave him another smile.
A warm whirl of emotions filled Jason—gratitude, comfort, affection. He wanted to take Ben’s hand, but brushed back Maggie’s hair instead, unable to get out any words.
“Where were you, Dad?”
Guilt slashed with razor claws. He should have been the one to find her. Instead he’d been wandering dazed and useless. “I…”
Ben said, “We split up to look for you. Could cover more ground.”
Jason found enough control to add, “Ben told me how brave you were. You jumped into the river?”
She nodded solemnly. “I pretended you were there with me, like at Declan’s party, remember?”
Jason swallowed hard, eyes burning. “Of course. We had so much fun jumping together. Didn’t even seem high after the first time.” He’d actually been nervous every time they’d climbed the stairs of the pool tower, but Maggie had been fearless after the first plunge, and he hadn’t wanted to hold her back.
“I don’t think I want to jump into the river again though. It was really, really cold and I had to stay in too long.” She coughed, and Jason helped her sip water.
“You must have been really, really scared. I’m very proud of you.” Don’t cry. Jason exhaled slowly. “Do you want to tell us more about it?”
Her eyes filled. “I was super scared. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You already know the important parts.”
“Okay,” Jason soothed. “We don’t have to talk right now.”
“Not ever. It doesn’t matter anymore. I want to talk about good things.” She pointed beyond them. “Like what’s in that bag Ben brought?”
Jason realized there was a plastic bag on the chair in the corner as Ben fetched it. His mind swirled, acid in his belly. Okay, he wouldn’t push Maggie to talk about it today. She’d been through more than enough without him forcing the issue. Surely she needed some time to process.
Ben said, “Just a little something I saw downstairs in the gift shop that made me think of you.” He pulled out a thick book called Birds of Montana and How to Spot Them.
Eyes alight, Maggie clapped weakly. “Oh, thank you!” She thumbed through the pages. “And it’s not for kids. It’s a real grown-up book!”
“You already know way too much to go for the kiddie books. Right, Jason?”
Jason had to blink away tears rapidly as he nodded. Ben’s thoughtful gift and Maggie’s sheer delight even after everything she’d been through had his chest tightening with almost unbearable tenderness.
Sitting there watching his daughter read until her eyes grew heavy and she slept, Jason felt as though his nerves were exposed, his whole body, mind, and soul flayed open.
“Time for Dad to rest too.” Smiling kindly, Dr. Sharma stood in the doorway. “Let me give you a quick exam to make sure everything’s ship-shape, and then you can go get some sleep.”
Ben, who’d pulled up the other guest chair, chimed in. “I spoke to the FBI agent in charge, and they have a room for you in the hotel right next door. You can be back here in five minutes. I know you’re going to say you’re not leaving her for a second, but you need some sleep.”
Jason snapped his jaw shut, since that was precisely what he’d been about to say. “I’m fine. I need to be here in case she wakes up.”
Dr. Sharma tucked a stray piece of dark hair behind her ear. “I understand, but trust me. She’s going to be out for hours.” She checked her watch. “Very likely all night at this point.”
The light through the window waned, and Jason couldn’t deny he was exhausted, but no. There was no way. “I can catch some sleep right here.”
The doctor and Ben shared a glance. Dr. Sharma said, “How about you go take a shower and sleep for a couple hours. I promise we’ll text you the moment she wakes up. Which I don’t think will be until the morning, as I said.” She grimaced. “To be frank, you stink. Both of you.”
Jason found himself laughing, and God, it was surreal. Maggie was alive, and they were back in civilization. Ben was by his side, and Jason was laughing. He felt like he was outside his body, observing. He caressed Maggie’s hair, only a whisper of a touch to prove she was really there, the golden strands silky between his fingertips.
“Jason, it’s going to be a big day tomorrow.” Dr. Sharma’s face pinched in concern. “Maggie is going to have a lot to process. You’re both in shock. You need your strength to support her. Get at least a few hours of quality sleep. I promise Maggie will be okay.”
He scratched at his neck, digging in his nails. “I just… I don’t want to let her out of my sight.”
“Of course you don’t,” Ben said, squeezing Jason’s shoulder, sending sparks of warmth down his arm. Jason leaned closer as Ben asked, “Can Jason have a cot here next to Maggie?”
She sighed. “Okay. Jason, I completely understand your refusal to leave Maggie, but please get some real rest. And I’m examining you—no arguments. I know you insist you’re not hurt, so it won’t take long at all.” She nodded toward the adjoining bathroom. “Afterward, there’s a shower you can use since this is a private room. It’s better for Maggie to see you clean and looking the way you normally would. Normalcy is comforting after trauma like this.”
Agent Reardon spoke from the doorway, saying, “Sorry to eavesdrop” in a tone that wasn’t remotely apologetic. “Jason, I took the liberty of having your belongings from your campsite moved to the hotel next door. I’ll have some clothes brought over immediately.” She eyed Ben in his dirty, creased uniform. “What size are you? There’s an adjoining room you can have and I’ll make sure clean clothes are waiting. You live out of town, yes? It’ll be easier if you stay put until our investigation is complete. Won’t take long at all, don’t worry.”
Ben nodded. “Absolutely. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jason smiled gratefully, trying to keep up with what Dr. Sharma and the FBI agent had said. His brain was wrapped in cotton, and he straightened up as the words penetrated. “Wait—a private room? Our insurance doesn’t cover that. How much is it?” He’d have to get a loan, and with interest rates it would take years to pay off. He barely had enough for food and rent, and Maggie would need therapy and—
“Jason. Breathe,” Agent Reardon ordered. “It’s all handled. Don’t worry about a thing. Maggie needs rest, and we require privacy to speak with her tomorrow and get more details of her abduction. We don’t need sick kids sneezing and hacking and crying behind a curtain. We’re covering the room upgrade.”
He exhaled slowly. “Okay. Thank you.”
“Of course. Also, we’ve posted agents by the elevators, at both ends of the hall, and outside the door here. Media are crawling all over downstairs and outside.”
“Media?” Jason asked dumbly. “Why?”
Her lips quirked into a brief, sharp smile. “You’re a big story, Jason Kellerman. Single father, dramatic kidnapping, hunky, heroic park ranger thrown in for good measure. The villain was vanquished and the pretty little blond girl saved. This is like manna from heaven for the news outlets. The public are desperate for a feel-good story right now.”
“Oh.” How bizarre to think about people talking about them. Jason took Maggie’s lax hand, her curled fingers warm and real.
“Don’t talk to anyone about what happened. Not even nurses or orderlies. Only Dr. Sharma.” The agent gave Ben another assessing look. “I’m going to assume you’re trustworthy, but if you blab anything to the media, there will be hell to pay.”
Jason sputtered. “He would never!”
Ben held up his hands. “It’s okay. I understand you have a job to do. You can trust me.”
Agent Reardon nodded briskly. “Good. One of my agents killed the suspect, and we need the complete picture before the media starts spinning its usual bullshit and half-truths. All they know so far is what we’re telling them. Let’s keep it that way.” She turned on her heel. “Sleep well. And you both reall
y do smell like shit.”
In her wake, Jason, Ben, and Dr. Sharma looked at each other. Ben said, “She’s a real people person, huh?”
Then Jason was laughing again—laughing—and he leaned over Maggie to breathe her in.
Ben jammed his baby toe on the wheel of the cot, and bit back a curse as he hopped on one foot. That’s what he got for pacing in socks. His muddy boots were tucked under the chair in the corner, and he really didn’t want to put them back on.
The plain T-shirt he’d been given was a little tight across his shoulders and boxers a little loose beneath okay jeans, but it would do. He’d left to give Jason privacy while Dr. Sharma examined him, and had practically run to the hotel next door, accompanied by agents who whisked him in and out through a side entrance, away from the buzz of reporters around front.
Part of Ben had wanted to stand under the stream of hot water for hours, but he’d hurried back, promising Jason he’d watch Maggie while Jason showered after being declared only bruised and exhausted by Dr. Sharma.
Ben peered at Maggie again in the low yellow light of a lamp in the corner. She was sound asleep, lips softly parted, the blue tint fading. Her chest rose and fell, lungs still rasping, and he carefully tucked the blanket up around her a little higher.
Then he paced again.
To the window, past the cot to the door, then back. He hadn’t even glimpsed the sky in the alley between hotel and hospital, but now he could see the moon’s pale glow through the glass.
All was silent beyond the closed bathroom door, and he stared at it on each pass of the small room. There’d been no running water. Maybe Jason was just on the toilet, and Ben shouldn’t interrupt.
But what if he passed out and I didn’t hear the thump? What if he’s hurt after all? What if he needs help?
Stomach tight, he knocked on the bathroom door, just a brush of his knuckles. “Jason? Are you okay in there?”
“I’m…”
Twisting the handle after a few ragged heartbeats, Ben edged the door open. “Everything okay?”
Jason was still dressed in his filthy clothes, his back to the door. In the mirror, Ben could see that Jason was holding up his hands, staring at them. Ben rushed the couple of steps to his side. “Are you hurt?”
Ends of the Earth: Gay Romance Page 12