The Dark Materials

by Amanda Churi

  She didn’t know why she wanted to sleep. When she allowed consciousness to drift away, nightmares haunted her endlessly. They scared her, bringing back terrible memories that she never shared with anyone, but for an odd reason, she preferred that over being awake.

  “I know it’s strong,” a high-pitched, peppy voice came, “but you have to fight it if you want to live!”

  Laelia rolled her neck to the side just in time to see Flye walking towards her, waving a hand invitingly as the medical staff let her pass into the infirmary. She wore the same tattered cloak and scarf as yesterday, the skin under her eyes consumed by dark bags. She pulled up a metal chair, turning it around and sitting down. Her black eyes glistened with interest, the streak of purple in her hair shimmering like a sun dancing on a lake of violets.

  “Hanging in there?” Flye asked her innocently, leaning her head to one side and resting her cheek on her arm.

  Laelia didn’t answer, skeptically looking over the young lady’s face. She was not too fond of their choice of company. She would have much preferred Griffin or Sybil; heck, she would’ve even taken Mabel or Eero—arguing with their stupidity might’ve just put some spunk back into her.

  Out of distrust, Laelia chose to not speak. She looked away, staring up at the bright white lights with a chiseled face.

  “Ah,” Flye observed, turning her own eyes to the synthetic light. “It is strange, isn’t it? How something so bright can bring you nothing but depression? Rather, it is darkness that makes your heart race, right?”

  Don’t talk, Laelia thought, somewhat annoyed. She will go away eventually.

  They shared minutes more of silence before, finally, Flye turned her gaze back to Laelia, who still refused to acknowledge the rebel’s presence. Holy Jupiter, this girl was persistent; she just didn’t get the hint to buzz off.

  “So, why do you like that little lerial so much?” Flye asked, Laelia’s ears perking up. “It’s pretty freaking creepy.”

  Laelia huffed, rolling her eyes. Truly, she didn’t know the answer… But Sybil had been made to kill and destroy… She couldn’t be held accountable for her actions when she had been raised thinking that her choices were the right ones to make—the only ones that she could if she wanted to keep on living.

  The same mentality that Laelia had drilled into her for so long.

  “She needed a friend,” Laelia mumbled reluctantly, refusing to meet Flye’s pressing stare. “Someone to guide her through the unknown.”

  Flye chuckled. “Funny. You were thrown farther into the unknown than she was, and you chose to try and act strong, even though you were terrified inside. You just wouldn’t let anyone see; you never let them see.”

  Giving in, Laelia looked at Flye, who never let her sparkling eyes stray. “How would you know?” she lashed in a low, cold tone. “You didn’t even meet me until yesterday. What makes you think you know what goes on in my head?”

  Laelia was used to her harsh retorts ending conversations before they could begin, but Flye did not seem intimidated; instead, she smiled. “Because I see a ton of myself in you…” she told her, sighing whimsically. “I know the look on your face… The energy behind your eyes that speak what your mouth never can.”

  Laelia raised an eye. “You’re a little whacked up…”

  Flye’s smile widened. “Of course, I am!” She looked back at the florescent lights. “You know, despite being struck by Typo, I saw you fight like a freaking beast out there. Maybe you are broken inside and have already fallen far, but you won’t let anyone hurt you more. Sadly, the only way to do that is to keep others out.”

  Laelia did not speak but not for her usual reasons. Instead of redirecting the words through her ears and hearing what she wanted, or pushing them out altogether, they sunk in; they latched themselves to the roots of her brain, anchoring down and trying to force the meaning into her system so that she could really hear what was being said.

  “Don’t think that you are the only one who has ever screwed up…” Flye told her, resting her hand atop of Laelia’s and allowing their eyes to merge. “All it takes is one little thought… That stupid, cancerous, little thought bubble who tells you that you can do something totally crazy, and then Fate decides to flick you off the moment you try.

  “I know you have not been here long, but you of all people will understand…” She took a deep breath, suppressing a shudder of defeat. “My baby brother, Derek, was taken from me five years ago; the Haxors took him under the authority of the Lord. He was blind… Pathetically weak and helpless, but inside, he had a strength that I could have only dreamed of. He wanted to join the Encryption and bring down the Proxez, no matter what. I don't know how any eight-year-old can have that kind of a drive but ha… He did. He was my whole world…

  “After I lost him, I told myself that I would do anything to get him back. I decided to take matters into my own hands—to grow a pair and set things right, just like he would have done had he been given a chance.” She giggled awkwardly, scratching behind her ear in embarrassment. “I definitely got into some things that I shouldn’t have… Strayed from the path that I originally set out on, you know? My last run in with Death attracted the attention of the Encryption, and they took me in, not only because of my reckless nature but because I was…” She paused, her pupils expanding and taking Laelia’s entranced mind into her own. “I was struck by the henchman, just like you.”

  “Really?” Laelia wondered breathlessly.

  “Uh huh,” Flye confirmed through a loose nod. “I’m the only one they know of to have ever survived a fatal blow by Typo. Of course, I’ve never been the same since the attack, but you know, it’s not bad.”

  “How is it not?” Laelia mumbled, shrinking into her pillows, devastated. “I heard what Kaitlyn told my friends… I’m going to crumble, become insane, and then die.”

  “Maybe you will be a bit crazy,” Flye admitted, shrugging, “but hey, I am. You have to embrace your new dark side. You can’t let that little wisp win; you’ve gotta show him what you’ve got, and make him regret giving you a piece of his power. It means pushing through the worst, yes, but if you survive, you will never feel more alive, believe me.” She cackled humorously, her laughter deep and hoarse. “I may not be the most respected, but I am the most feared—right below the queen if I do say so myself.”

  Laelia frowned. That was what she wanted, though… She wanted her friends to look up to her—to be something more than a dead weight or snooty brat.

  Flye sensed her distress. She twisted her lips, pawing at the purple streak in her hair. The movement made her hair twinkle like a million jewels, recalling Laelia’s attention.

  “This is the token of my survival,” she told her. “It looks like hair, but it’s not. It’s a small dagger that holds my nightmares—the nightmares he gave me. I’m saving it for when I really need it, and whoever this is used on… Ha! They are worse than gone. They are destroyed, flipping destroyed!”

  “And you’re proud of those you’ve killed?” Laelia growled.

  Her reaction surprised Flye. “Yes, yes I am. I killed all who stood in the way of getting what I wanted. Even if I didn’t reach my goal, in the end, I certainly don’t regret the lives I took.”

  Laelia didn’t reply. She had no quarrel with the Nobles she killed, but the others…

  “You know,” Flye tried again as she watched Laelia’s mind drift into dark territory, “one thing that those fatally struck by Typo don’t realize is that to survive, you have to hold your ground against what scares you most. Maybe if you allow yourself to open up and explain what you never thought you could, it would help.”

  Laelia groaned, scrunching up her shoulders uncomfortably. She never let anyone in, and this girl wasn’t about to be the first.

  The longer that she sat there in silence, however, the more compelled her mind was to speak. No one really knew anything about her, the real her—certainly not the darkest parts of her soul; she would never dare to discu
ss anything so personal… But in the end, such was a choice that definitely poisoned her mind, and she knew it.

  “It’s just…” Laelia began uncomfortably, diverting her eyes from Flye. “No one cares…”

  “About?”

  “About me!” Laelia snapped irritably. “Who do you think?!” She looked back at Flye. “I’ve seen the way those two look at me. They think I’m nothing but a spoiled brat—someone who’s trying to make their lives a living hell. Sure, I can be harsh and rude… And don’t get me wrong, those two need a good knock upside the head a lot of the time, and they deserve what I give them!” She paused. “But that’s how I was raised…”

  Flye said nothing, watching her closely while honing in on her story.

  “I grew up in the Ancient Roman Empire,” Laelia continued, her eyes glassing over as her darkest memories were brought forward. “My father was Gaius Julius Caesar. He sought to rebuild our home, making it greater than ever before! And oh, was he a fine soldier and general—none like him.” She sighed airily, her small spark of happiness quickly succumbing to sorrow.

  “He was wealthy, of course—went through many mistresses, and I was the product of that. A one night stand—the creation of a filthy peasant woman and my intoxicated father. I… Don’t know why he took me in. I never knew my birth mother; I only know that once word of my coming had reached his ears, I was his daughter forever more.”

  She grunted, pressing her chin against her neck. “He kept me hidden,” she hissed in resentment. “He never wanted anyone to know that I had been the result of his weakness; he would lose much respect. I lived nearly my whole life in the walls of our palace. A mere handful of servants knew of my existence; if my father even suspected one of slipping up, he would have them slaughtered in front of all.”

  “You don’t have to keep going,” Flye advised. “Too much at once—”

  “No,” Laelia growled stubbornly. “I-I just feel like I need to get this off of my chest.”

  Flye gave a simple nod of concurrence. “If you really want to…”

  Laelia took her up on her offer fairly quickly. Now that she felt her core memories welling up inside of her, ones which she had tried to banish so long ago, she needed to let them loose, or she felt like she was going to explode.

  “I always looked up to him…” Laelia tried again as her throat began to burn. “But ever since Calla—er, well, she was the witch who took me—”

  “I’m quite aware of who this traitor is,” Flye confirmed to Laelia’s surprise.

  Laelia was silent for a moment. “Well, yes, ever since I met the others she took, I’ve… Come to realize that he wasn’t good at all; my father was nothing like the parents they had…

  “I was… A girl forced into whoredom. I was often sent to the homes of my father’s enemies under the cover of darkness, instructed to…” Laelia took a shaky breath. “Seduce them, nonetheless… A pleasurer on the outside and a murderer within… I always killed them after the deed had been done, making sure they were winded, off guard, and unable to properly defend themselves—and they never suspected a thing because they had no idea who I was.

  “I knew whatever I was doing was wrong… And I hated it—but I thought seeing my father smile after I had be rid of an enemy was love, that his approval was worth it… But he always wanted more.”

  “Laelia, you have nothing to be ashamed of…” Flye said, grabbing Laelia’s shaking hand. “He groomed you—manipulated you! You didn’t know better!”

  “B-but I should have!” she screeched as tears began to fall from her eyes.

  “Calm down!” Flye demanded frightfully.

  “No! You don’t know what it’s like!” she screamed frantically, trying to break free of her restraints as the memories began to drown her. “I’m around people who have never borne the pain I have! People who have been able to go wherever they please and stand up for themselves! Hell, ones that are even lucky enough to possess powers! They don’t know what I’ve been through! They don’t understand that every time I see just how free they are I only get more and more angry! They sicken me! They’re able to fight whatever comes their way, but guess what? I never got that choice! I was broken as a young child and ruined from the first act on, and somehow, I still ended up as useless! So useless that no one wants me! Not even Griffin, who thinks he’s useless as well! He won’t return my affection because he knows deep down that I’m more than useless; I’m nothing, and that’s all I will ever be!”

  “M-medics!” Flye called over her shoulder, desperate for help before Laelia lost control.

  Laelia twisted her wrist, grabbing Flye’s hand with crushing force. Flye squealed, rapidly looking back at Laelia. Her green eyes had gone black, the already darkened roots of her hair changing from dirty blonde to dark brown. Her face paled, her head shaking frantically as images betook her: pools of blood that she lay in next to her many victims; the scars under her clothes she had never allowed any to see; the wounds from the fights she bore when her prey fought back; and worst of all, the mound of rubble taking the place of her heart…

  Everything she went through was for nothing, and it left her being nothing as well.

  A grueling, heart-wrenching scream arose from the depths of her bleeding heart, Laelia rocking her body back and forth relentlessly as she tried to counter the evil in her body. Flye yanked her hand away as multiple medical personnel came rushing forward, carrying vials and sedatives to calm Laelia down, though she continued to cry out. Her vitals spiked; her heart rate flew through the roof, her temperature quickly ticking up, as well as her blood pressure.

  Flye was shoved back, the medical staff shooing her away as they fought to get the child under control. Sinking into the shadows, Flye watched as they stuck a needle into Laelia’s scalp with a sickening thunk, one woman pulling on the plunger and extracting a large quantity of black-purple mist. The smog whistled and screamed mercilessly in its confinements as it was pulled from its host, swirling vehemently and trying to break free.

  Frightened, Flye rested a hand on her purple dagger, the darkness within growling in recognition to the distress that its counterpart was placed in. Unable to bear witness to any more of it, Flye turned tail and fled the infirmary in search of some peace, Laelia’s agonizing screams bashing her ears in the hallway, in her room, and in her dreams.

  ***

  After I had recovered from my earlier episode, Mabel and I, now classified as unstable beings, were placed under the direct watch of Kaitlyn and Seek. We were informed that we would eventually get a room to call our own, but for the time being, a dungeon would serve as our residence—this would be true until the Encryption knew for sure that we would not make another scene.

  Normally, the two of us could talk until we were breathless. That was not the case last night. Shoulder to shoulder, we sat on a thin mattress, silently awaiting the moment that the time struck 0600 hours—the time we would be led to, as Seek called it, “extensive research.” How fun. An experiment for the umpteenth time.

  I wondered, as we were led through the dark hallways of the labyrinth-like base, what the others had become subject to. Griffin didn’t worry me too much; becoming a mechanic did not seem like a terribly dangerous job. My worst fear for him was him connecting the wrong wires and being turned into barbecue. He was from a time where electricity didn’t even exist; machinery itself was still down to the bare basics. He definitely would not adjust easily. Laelia and Sybil, though? I had no clue; I just hoped they were alright…

  “Here we are,” Seek announced as she came to a pause in front of an iron door.

  I looked up from my feet, my eyes resting on Seek’s tiny hand as she pressed it to the door, a blue line scanning the surface and analyzing her fingerprints. A soft beep touched the air, the large doors sliding open and allowing us to enter.

  The blood in my legs decided to stop circulating as I processed my surroundings, leaving me standing there like a rock. Mabel, who stood next to me, had a r
eaction very similar.

  “Come on, we’re burning cloud cover,” Kaitlyn snickered, giving Mabel and me a light shove in the back.

  The floor below us transitioned from rock to smooth black tiles. The grout was a shimmering white, providing light to the large room that easily matched the square footage of a mansion. Large, thick metal beams made up the frame of the room, branching out as they reached the high strung, distant ceiling. Dull, yellow-white lights shined high above like stars, allowing me to see the dust swirling above the daunting pillars—and they were what frightened me the most.

  The base of the triangular pillars matched the width of several humans, stretching high into the atmosphere towards the unreachable lights. A ball of flickering, lively white light levitated at the top of each structure, electricity flying from one ball to the next and connecting the pillars. Each stood only a few feet from the other; they started at the front of the room and just kept on going, creating a forest of lightning and stone.

  “Oh my gosh,” Mabel breathed in disbelief, taking a step forward.

  “Please, don’t tell me this is the ‘extensive research’ you had planned,” I pleaded feebly, my eyes reflecting the hissing electricity.

  Kaitlyn laughed innocently. “Soon,” she told us casually, “but not yet. Both of you would get yourselves killed. I can’t even complete this course unharmed; Rebel, Prelude, and a scarce few others are the only ones skilled enough.”

  “This room has the most concentrated energy in it out of the entire Encryption base,” Seek explained, taking a simple step forward. “It enhances not only my natural abilities, but the queen’s, and now both of yours.”

  I shook my head. Now that everything had finally calmed down and I was not at risk to be brutally terminated, I wanted to understand just what was happening to us. Mabel had never truly been able to access her powers, and I shouldn’t have been able to ever again. I could see how the attack from the Haxor would change that, but even before, I had a violent scene at the ruins of Pikë when I saw Calla. Why?