The Dark Materials

by Amanda Churi

  She sighed, carelessly shrugging her shoulders. “I know that you’ve transformed physically for the most part, but mentally… You’re still having doubts about yourself and your purpose, and you can’t.” She stepped towards me, resting her pale hand on top of mine and giving it a small squeeze to make sure that I had a good handle on the vial.

  “Yes, a lot question you; many question Mabel as well. You have to prove them wrong. Whenever you feel as though you are breaking down… If you are ready to give up, please, take one… They will not fight; they know that such is their destiny, and they will assist Ryze and Aponi, helping to fight for your humanity.”

  “But… How?” I pressed.

  She reestablished the space between us. “Think of your Essence as an egg. You, your human soul, it’s the shell, and it’s a very strong one. The embryo you are protecting—that’s the core demon, who the fledglings are trying to get at. Every time that you question yourself… Can’t handle something and start to give in, your shell gets weaker—it cracks, pieces break off. Your friends are doing everything that they can to keep those creatures from completely devouring your shell because those damn things will try everything: giving you bad luck, taunting you with visions, voices, blame—they just need you to fall in order to get what they want—the core! You already have holes… Your shell has already suffered damage… You can tell based off of what you see in the mirror. Your form, your physical form, and those horrendous thoughts—that’s your core demon coming out, revealed as more fledglings awaken and consume you. But the core can’t completely get out, and the fledglings can’t completely get in.

  “Souls are a demon’s most preferred food source. It provides them ample energy and heightens their senses. And my souls…” Her voice trailed away as she looked down at her translucent hands that were emitting weak rays of white light. “They are the purest souls that one will find this day, second to only Mabel. I have thousands of them flowing through my body, making up my very genetic code. Giving some to you… It gives you strength, while creating a diversion for your friends, allowing the fledglings to quench both their hunger and rage, falling back as Ryze and Aponi try to fortify what is left of you after each massive assault. If you keep a hold on your willpower, that core demon has no right to come out and fight to control them; that is your honor! And…” She spoke no more, her words racing away.

  I cocked my head to the side. “Seek…”

  She sniffled, wiping her nose with her hand. “Look, just know that you are strong, Eero… So amazingly strong, to the point where you can not only fight the evil rampant inside of you but can use it to your advantage as well. My souls… If ever you feel the demons winning, they will give you that extra push and cease to exist for your cause.” She pointed between my eyes, causing me to lean back instinctively. “Don’t let your past define you. I didn’t let mine; we are in control of our own lives, and we can always choose what side we stand on in this world.”

  She retracted her finger in a snap, taking a breath so shaky that I could not compare it to any prior memory. Swallowing to calm her nerves, Seek gave me the casual bow of a head, locking her jaw and pursing her lips as she turned away from me, hustling back into the control room before she could give in to the rising riot in her chest.

  I wasn’t sure what to do for a moment, staring down at the vial held in my palm. Regardless of what Seek said, I still did doubt myself, and very much so; I had plenty of reasons to.

  Even so, I did not throw her advice to the wind. I was ill at heart when I realized that Seek was literally giving a piece of herself to help me through my issues. That didn’t rest well with me; it was like she was admitting that I had a problem.

  …I mean, I did, but that wasn’t the point!

  My fingers squeezed the glass; I was tempted to chug however many souls were in that container—not to quench my hunger, but to put my overactive mind to rest.

  I groaned obnoxiously, stuffing the vial inside of my pocket so that I wouldn’t be tempted to waste something so precious. I needed to cleanse my mind of its worries… I just needed to walk it off and think about what I could do.

  But do what? I countered, paying no attention to where I was headed. You aren’t in any trouble? Any immediate danger? What do you even have to work out at this point? You just need to hang back and let the ball roll for a while before you make a stupid decision that is going to knock you on your butt yet again.

  I sighed, my thoughts at war with one another. Mabel, though… What to do about her? About my feelings? About us?

  Even if our relationship was restored to its prior state, could a demon and someone like her even be together? What would happen if I could never get a firm hold on my self-control? What would I do if we took that giant leap of faith, making a life together, only to lose her?

  …And what if my deepest, most secretive thoughts did come true? What if we did get married and have a family one day…? What would happen to our children, specifically our first born? I had an Essence; it was passed along through the breeding of the first child, meaning they would get their own lot of demons by default.

  But what if there wasn’t a sufficient number of unworthy demons readily available? What if a perceptually traitorous demon had not come about? Would they still turn out like me? Would they receive any demons at all?

  …Was it even worth it to ever take that risk?

  I already knew the answer, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I couldn’t.

  “…We found them,” a dark, hurt, and soft voice echoed through the hallway—a voice that I knew.

  I lifted my lowered head, peering down the hallway that I stood in—a hallway that looked much like every other one through the base, but one with a different atmosphere…

  “They believe they found the prophets,” the voice continued, my feet leading me on in a zombified way as I connected the voice to Pinion, “but I’m uncertain. Many pieces still do not make sense… It’s never made sense.”

  Keeping my footsteps and breathing as hushed as possible, I tiptoed on until I found myself standing next to the most unique doors in the entire base: a set of doors made out of layers of multicolored stained glass that entwined with each other, forming both a beautiful frame and base.

  The door was slightly cracked open—a crack so minute that it had obviously been unintentional.

  Deciding to stick my nose where it didn’t belong yet again, I leaned forward, snooping in on the odd scene.

  Pinion held herself high as she faced a large blue crystal erected from the floor. The base of the crystal shined the brightest, the light reaching up from the bottom and providing what luminance it could to the dreary, peaceful, and magical room.

  A ghostly face made out of blue mist formed at the spire of the crystal, and I nearly dropped when I recognized the being.

  “Do I trust my comrades or my fear?” Pinion rambled on, her eyes glossed and vulnerable as she stared into his mystified face. “If I am wrong, I have doomed us all. You are the wisest of wise; you would know what to do in my position. But I am corrupted; I do not. I seek advice from you that my own people cannot give me…”

  His voice was weak, but it confirmed me of my suspicions. Still… How was this possible? What was going on?

  “Sometimes…” Kevin enlightened her, though I could see how confused he was, “you have to take a risk. If you don’t, you’ll never know what could have been the outcome.”

  Pinion grimaced. “I suppose so,” she admitted tightly, “but if you truly believe that, you need to take your own advice as well.”

  “Excuse me?” Kevin ordered, his voice sharp.

  “Stay strong,” Pinion continued ominously, her eyes slowly becoming a buffet for darkness. “Those who are close to you… Hold them closer. Love them longer.

  “Everyone is taken soon enough.”

  My heart rate increased, and I could not ignore what I heard. I was tired of staying in the shadow of war; I wanted to raise my ax and fight,
and I sure as hell wanted to figure out this puzzle of a person that could not make a bit of sense if her life depended on it!

  Boldly, I opened the door, stepping inside as the conversation continued, though Pinion was so absorbed that she took no note of my existence.

  “What?!” Kevin cried. “What are you talking about?! Reveal yourself!”

  “Pinion?” I spoke up, my voice firm and bitter.

  She gasped, her eyes ballooning in size before she frantically swiped away the blue mist with her hand, ending the odd call. Enraged and flustered, she spun towards me, her eyes burning. “What the fuck are you doing in here?!”

  My pupils narrowed to such an extreme that they were hardly visible. I folded my arms, spreading my feet as my tail began to twitch, the very tip lashing the ground in aggravation. “I believe that the better question would be ‘what the heck was that?’”

  She smacked her black lips. “What was what?”

  I growled, taking a sharp step forward as I threw my fists down beside me. “Stop it! You know what I’m talking about! How and why were you talking to Kevin?”

  “Who are you to come in here and begin questioning me? This is my room and my secrets.” She jabbed her finger to the open door. “Get out.”

  I scoffed, flashing her a smug smile. “If you want me to leave, you’re going to come clean.”

  She released a sinister chortle. “Really, now? You think that you can force me?” She raised her hand, swiping her fingers through the air when suddenly, the door aggressively swung shut behind me, locking us inside. “Then try.”

  I frowned, but I did not move. I wasn’t going to. I didn’t want to fight, so if she wanted me out, she would have to drag me by my tail.

  She was certainly at a loss for words when she registered that I was not scared nor was I backing down. She didn’t expect it and, quite frankly, neither did I; maybe I had finally grown a permanent set of balls that would not wither away every chance they got.

  “What, you’re too good to fight?” she nagged, pressing her hands to her hips and leaning forward.

  I did not reply to her question; I wanted my own answered. “Pinion, please,” I tried once more, struggling to keep my voice composed. “How were you talking to Kevin?”

  She rolled her eyes, turning away and patrolling the perimeter of her room, inspecting her plants and shelved oddities while trying to ignore me.

  Two could play at that game.

  I took another step into her sanctioned home. “Why do you despise me like you do?” I snarled.

  Pinion did not answer, continuing to tinker with anything she could find.

  “I made mistakes, yes,” I admitted. “Everyone does. I’ve apologized more times than I can count for causing the mess that I did, but you resenting me does not make this any better. I never meant for any of this to happen! I didn’t want any of it, and if I could take it back, I would! I would do anything to reverse it!”

  “You’re lying,” Pinion hissed, refusing to look at me.

  “No, I’m not!” I protested. “How have I not proven myself to you yet? Do I have to die in the arms of the enemy, Pinion? Huh? Is that what it will take to make you happy?”

  “It would have certainly made everything easier,” she rounded coldly, moving to the middle shelf. “Your death long ago would have solved many problems that I bear now.”

  I huffed in surprise. “Oh, really?” I pressed as I went to stand beside the crystal, slowly eliminating the distance between us. “Pinion, tell me then, I’m curious; what would you be doing right now if I hadn’t screwed everything up? Where would you be? What would you be? Probably not alive yourself, since everything is connected!”

  “I WOULD BE HAPPY!” she bellowed, sharply spinning around and chucking a glowing entity at my head. I quickly ducked, narrowly avoiding a concussion.

  Caught off guard by her outburst, I slowly raised my head, evaluating the queen closely. The air seemed to pulse around her, the molecules shaking as finally, she released every built up particle of anger, resentment, envy, and revenge that she held over my head. She looked utterly terrifying.

  “Had it not been for you, I wouldn’t have lost everything!” she screamed. “I could have had a great life if you had given me the chance! I-I could have done so much more…! But no! You came in and ruined everything!”

  Letting out a frail, desperate cry, she collapsed to the ground, tucking her head into her knees like a child. “I… I hate you so much… And yet… I can’t bring myself to harm you.”

  She lifted her head, her running eyes fixed on mine. “I don’t know how you can be the prophet… I just can’t comprehend it, and I certainly don’t want it to be true, because I really don’t know what to think when I look at your putrid face.”

  No word in any dictionary could possibly explain what I felt; I could hardly even figure out how to ask the question that I did. “…What happened between you and Kevin…?”

  She inhaled through her nose, frowning in defeat. She raised a shaking finger in my direction. “It’s just easier to show you.”

  Confused, I followed her finger, looking behind me. I gasped, staring at the item resting on the floor.

  Kevin’s Memory Box.

  My arms felt like gelatin as I leaned down and took his creation in my demonic hands. For a moment, I did not want to release it, remembering nearly every second that I had spent with my old guardian from that simple touch.

  But I did. I slowly turned around, approaching Pinion and dragging my feet as I went to crouch beside her. She held out her broken hands, accepting the only piece that she had left of Kevin before quickly twisting the cube in the desired pattern, desperate to get it over with.

  Thirty-five

  Save Yourself

  Fate stood under the shadow of a dark street lantern, her arms folded as she leaned against the lone pole. Her head was kept low, but her eyes broke into the very souls of those farther down the street, watching as they ran to escape her, when in reality, they only came closer.

  She frowned, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as she tried to come to terms with what was about to happen. She had a set course long ago—a course which had been tampered with. Now, she had a new road to walk this dark winter night; it was a road filled with the thick clouds that blocked out the new moon, allowing evil in its most dangerous form to draw power from anything and everything.

  She had been sidestepped and blocked many times when he from a now deceased future breached her walls, but only her path had changed… Not the destination.

  “Are you ready?” she asked aloud, turning her continuously waning and waxing blue eyes to a veiled figure that stood behind her in the alley, watching the beginning of the war with a blank face as the royal family and those pursuing them ran down the street in slow motion.

  He smiled, revealing his rotten teeth as he twisted the large scythe in his bony hands. The hood concealed his empty eyes, but even so, the temptation within them could not be hidden. The slow trickle of blood on his rusted, fatal blade began to thicken, eagerly awaiting the large number of lives about to be stolen. “I’ve never been more ready…” he replied with a wicked grin.

  “Then let us go,” Fate stated calmly, extending her enchanted hand to that of Death as the bonded pair made their grand appearance—a curtain call so moving that all would cheer and bow as they went to shake the hand of each who approached them, making them a fan of their work permanently.

  ***

  His goal was never that of Azuré’s nor Elip’s; he did not want every face on Earth to vanish, and he had no desire to see the Returned slay all. Standing beside them was not something that he was comfortable with, but it was necessary if he wanted to quell the revenge that had been boiling over in his heart for so long now.

  He wanted the wronged to suffer; he wanted them to pay. Too many innocent had suffered throughout the years, and too many perpetrators had got off scot-free…

  He ran alongside Reeve, lead
ing the Returned towards the family that was the last obstacle in his path. They ran for dear life towards the forest on the other side of the town, desperate to reach shelter—to run and hide before it was too late.

  He snickered, pushing himself further as he tried to close the gap of space stretched between them. It was already too late; they couldn’t go anywhere but down.

  “Orione, go!” Reeve demanded, pointing to the crooked houses that had almost been completely rebuilt. “Cut them off!”

  Orione screamed like a warrior in reply to his queen, sharply veering off to the right and heading towards another street. He threw his solidified hands out in front of him, screeching as a torrent of snow and frost flew out of his palms and collided with the chilled soil, forming a path of slick ice. He jumped onto the trail that he made, all friction between his feet and the ground vanishing. Like a bullet, the magic in his twisted soul reacted to the substance below his feet, slingshotting him down the street parallel to the royal family so that he could catch up to them before it was too late.

  “You take those three down!” Reeve commanded Desmond. “I’ve got other things to do!”

  Desmond immediately looked to his side, suspicion burrowing in his face. “What are you talking about?!”

  Reeve’s eyes flashed through her skull, her sharp teeth revealed as she gave Desmond a devilish smirk. “You’ll see.”

  Without offering him more information, Reeve sharply bolted in front of Desmond, nearly slamming into him as she broke free of her army, dragging Tah with her as she flew down a street perpendicular to Desmond’s path.

  Desmond listened and continued forth, but her sudden action racked his core. They had discussed the ambush, and her leaving his side was never a part of it. He may have not had powers like her, but he had his wits and a mind that could solve most any problem that came before him. Still… This was his chance—possibly his last. He hoped that Reeve would not make him lose it all… Not again.