Get Bent!

by Rick Gualtieri

  “It’s not like you need the extra pounds,” he replied, a shit-eating grin on his face where the first signs of acne were starting to show. Between that and his ridiculous haircut – somewhere between goth and skater-wannabe – he was practically begging to be decked.

  I made a fist and he quickly backed up.

  “If you’re still hungry, champ, grab a bowl of cereal,” Dad said from his spot at the table. He was finishing off some toast while reading the news on his phone.

  That seemed to mollify my brother, but he made as if to spit on my eggs before I chased him off. For about the millionth time, I swore that when he finally turned eighteen my present to him was going to come in the form of a punch to his face. But it was a fantasy that could wait for now.

  I scooped my eggs – over easy, just how I liked them – onto a plate, grabbed the hot sauce from the cabinet above the stove, and joined my family and Riva at the table. All of them appeared to be finishing up, which meant they’d been awake for a while. That fact did nothing to improve my mood.

  “Morning, Tam Tam.”

  “Seriously, Dad?” I glared at him sidelong.

  “My house,” he replied with a grin, his eyes still on his phone, “my rules. That means I can call you whatever I want ... unless, that is, you’d prefer to discuss paying rent.”

  “Tam Tam it is, then,” I replied, digging in.

  Riva chuckled, so I tossed a crumpled napkin at her.

  “A little decorum at the table, please,” Mom chided.

  Where I knew my father had a sense of humor about these things, she did not. Mom was a stickler for us doing things a certain way and was always quick to point out when we fell short of her expectations.

  Still, she could cook a hell of a fried egg when she wanted to.

  “You sleep okay, dear?” Mom asked my friend.

  Riva glanced at me with a smile and I narrowed my eyes, trying to mentally project all the horrid things I’d do if she said the wrong thing. “Just fine, Mrs. Bentley.”

  “I’m happy to hear it. It’s always nice to have you over. We don’t see you nearly as often now that you two are off at college.”

  That went double for me. Riva had been my best friend since ... well, forever. That she now went to a local school whereas I was a couple states away kinda sucked. On the upside, it made summer reunions like this all the more sweet, even if I knew that eventually life would take us in different directions.

  But that was a concern for another day. We had plans for this one.

  “So what are you two eligible bachelorettes up to?” Dad asked casually, glancing up long enough to make sure we hadn’t left the room yet. He was an easygoing guy most of the time. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he could be a little spacey. According to Mom, he’d been a bit of a dreamer ever since the day they’d met at a college mixer, way back when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

  Riva turned to face me and a silent battle of wills ensued. She finally gave me a look that said it all. If we were going to lie to my parents, I might as well be the one to do it. She was right, but it still sucked.

  Kinda sad that I even had to. I mean, we were both nineteen – adults, for Christ’s sake. Mind you, chill as my dad was, he was always quick to remind me of his favorite catchphrase regarding his house, his rules.

  And one of those rules was that me and my brother were to stay well clear of the hollows, the woods just east of town.

  It was a subject they’d been adamant on ever since I was a mere toddler – something to do with a cougar attacking some hikers way back when. It was weird. The entire town of High Moon was pretty much surrounded by state forest on all sides, just three roads leading in and out. Yet, it was the hollows which freaked out my parents for some reason.

  True, the hollows were rumored to be haunted, but that mainly seemed to be perpetuated by guys hoping to get into their girlfriends’ pants. We’re talking everything from ghosts to unwary hikers who went missing, only to be found later – their bodies partially eaten. Because what fun is an urban legend if it has a happy ending?

  Mind you, the favorite time to share these stories was typically right around when you and your date parked and climbed into the back seat.

  Somehow, I didn’t think my parents were the type to be worried about ghouls and goblins. And their concern never seemed to be about whatever guy I might or might not be dating. No. Something about the hollows just freaked them out. Who knows? Maybe they tripped out on some bad acid there once. Hah! As if they were ever that cool.

  Needless to say, the hollows was exactly where Riva and I were headed this fine evening. I just couldn’t tell them that.

  Before I could reply with my rehearsed fib, my brother chimed in with his idiotic two cents. “They’re probably gonna rent a couple of chick flicks and bemoan the fact they’re destined to die as dried-up old maids.”

  Though I outwardly scowled at the little dork, I was thankful for the distraction, however unintentional it might have been.

  “That’s not nice, Christopher,” Dad chided. “Apologize to your sister.”

  His nose was still buried in his phone, so it went unnoticed when Chris’s apology was accompanied by flipping me the finger. Whatever. I could wait until tomorrow to get back at the little shit. Such was the way of the sibling love between us.

  For now, I simply said, “I’m staying at Riva’s tonight. Her parents are in Connecticut for the week.”

  “Throwing a big party?” Dad asked with a chuckle. He was well aware that, adults or not, Riva’s parents would string us both up if we trashed their house.

  “Oh, yeah,” Riva replied deadpan. “I’m bringing the bath salts. Bent’s supplying the meth.”

  I shot her a look, then turned back to Dad. “We’re probably gonna head out after breakfast, hang out by the lake for a while.” That part at least wasn’t a lie. It was looking to be a scorcher out there. No point in us suffering all day.

  Speaking of suffering, though, Mom was quick to remind me to take my pills before I left.

  Like there was any chance of me forgetting.

  Screw the hollows, I had a curse all my own to worry about – a rare and exceptionally acute form of Gastroparesis. It’s hereditary, a faulty gene from each of my parents. I was only three when I was first diagnosed. I’d been out shopping with my mom at Target when I fell ill and had to be rushed to the ER. I was too young to really remember it, but my parents say they almost lost me.

  Ever since then, I’ve been on my meds. My condition might be incurable, but fortunately, that doesn’t mean it’s untreatable. Four pills a day, two every twelve hours like clockwork. Missing them is not an option. The symptoms are both quick to strike and unforgiving in their brutality. Enough so that, according to my doctor, it’s unlikely I’d survive another attack like when I was a toddler. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.

  I have too much to live for. My life might not be perfect, but I like it.

  CHAPTER 2

  “Do you need a ride, Tam?”

  “No thanks, Dad. Riva’s got her car. We’ll pop by later to grab my stuff for tonight.”

  “Okay,” he replied. “Then I’ll see you when I get back. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

  I let out a laugh. My dad never struck me as much of a risk taker. He was about as milquetoast as they came. If I lived life the same way, I’d have never taken a gamble and joined the wrestling team in elementary school, never discovered I had a knack for it, and never would have gotten my scholarship.

  That didn’t mean Dad was a homebody, though. Both he and Mom frequently traveled for work. In actuality, this morning’s breakfast, with both of them home, had been relatively uncommon growing up. But now it was back to business, since my dad had to go out of town for the next day or so.

  Sad as I was to see him leave, I was more thrilled that only one of my parents would be home tonight. Chris was a handful, so Mom would be that much less likely to check on us and realize we actually w
eren’t at Riva’s house.

  The weather was forecast to be gorgeous and there was supposed to be a full moon tonight. It was a perfect opportunity to be out under the stars, sitting around a campfire with my best friend in the world, and maybe passing a bottle of Fireball back and forth while we gossiped about shit.

  It had been ages since we’d gone camping together, not since we’d been in the Girl Scouts. And this time we didn’t have my mom along to continually yell at us. It was also the first time we’d be going alone, something we’d planned to do all through high school but had never gotten the chance to.

  I grabbed my meds off the counter, shook two pills out into my hand, then stuffed the rest into my backpack. I’d already snuck my sleeping bag and a few other supplies into Riva’s trunk the night before. My pack just contained clothes and a few toiletries, i.e. stuff that I’d take to a simple sleepover as opposed to, say, a jaunt in the woods.

  I was about to close it up and head out when I spied Chris’s portable Nintendo system lying unattended on the couch. Hmm. Riva did have a nasty tendency to fall asleep earlier than me.

  “You snooze you lose, punk.” I smiled and tossed it in with the rest of my stuff.

  I left the bag lying in the foyer for when I came back, then stepped into the kitchen for a glass of water to wash my pills down.

  Mom was in there loading up the dishwasher as Dad filled a travel mug with coffee. She glanced my way. “Heading out, dear?”

  “In a sec.”

  She turned to my father. “Curtis, would you mind dropping them off on the way?”

  “It’s cool, Mom,” I said. “He already asked. We’re fine.” Gotta love parents. Once a child to them, forever more a child ye shall always be.

  “Good,” she replied. “I’d offer, but I’m heading in the opposite direction. Your brother has baseball at the 4H this morning.”

  “Have fun watching him strike out.”

  Dad stifled a chuckle, but Mom pursed her lips in disapproval ... for a moment, anyway. Then she smiled, too. “Your brother is getting better. Kind of.”

  Seems I’d gotten all the athletic genes in the family, which actually made sense since Chris was adopted. That didn’t keep my parents from trying, though. So far, soccer and track had been a bust. Now, it looked like the Pirates wouldn’t be beating down our door to recruit him anytime soon. Oh, well. The world needed dorks, too.

  I swallowed my pills along with some water.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. I’m taking Chris out tonight. If you need me, call my cell. Leave a message if I don’t answer.”

  Yes! Even better! That meant the chances of her checking on us were pretty close to nil. Sometimes fate actually could be kind. However, I was sure to mask my glee by casually asking, “Oh? Anywhere good?”

  “You know your brother. Some movie he wants to see. Nothing you’d be interested in.”

  “No doubt.” Handing the glass to Mom, I turned to leave.

  “If I don’t see you later, stay safe tonight.”

  I let out a quick laugh. “Let me guess. It’s the middle of summer, so all the weirdos will be out.”

  “Full moon, actually.” She turned to my father and gave him a significant glance, which he returned. Considering what they’d been up to the night before, I could only guess what they were not-so-subtly signaling to each other. Probably phone sex or, worse ... Skype. Gross! I so didn’t need that imagery in my head.

  She must’ve noticed me staring because Mom quickly added, “That means even more weirdos than usual.”

  Though her tone was meant to be light, something about it registered as a bit off in the back of my mind, but I didn’t really have time to fully digest it. Besides, my digestive tract was going to be busy enough in a few minutes.

  I shouted my goodbyes, grabbed my towel, then stepped out the front door and past the small army of garden gnomes my mother insisted on littering her rose bushes with. Their creepy concrete eyes seemed to follow me as I walked down the driveway.

  Riva was already waiting behind the wheel of her ten-year-old Subaru Outback. It was a bit beaten up but ran well, and its all-wheel drive was pretty much a necessity in this part of the state.

  Sadly, automotive issues weren’t my primary concern at the moment. No, sitting down and buckling myself in was, especially since I could feel my meds starting to take hold.

  For roughly eleven and three-quarter hours of their duration, I felt as normal as normal can be on my medication, but first I had to get through the first several minutes. We’re talking nausea, vertigo and, worst of all, a feeling of fatigue as if I were weak as a kitten. All of that and more hit me as Riva started the car.

  “You okay for me to drive?”

  I closed my eyes and nodded. Moving or sitting still didn’t make any difference. The side effects of my meds always hit me the same. I seldom, if ever, ended up puking, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to. It was like being seasick on dry land. But, like I said, that was only half of it. I lifted my arms, suddenly very heavy, and managed to snap my seatbelt into place. I won’t lie. I like to think I’m in pretty kick-ass shape for a girl. Heck, you didn’t take second place in state’s by being a pushover. Sadly, right then, that seemed like an eternity ago. The belt felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, and I’d have been hard-pressed to adjust the seat even if I wanted to.

  Fortunately, this wasn’t anything new. I didn’t let it bother me as Riva pulled out. I knew damn well that the side effects would clear up as quickly as they hit. After that, I’d be right as rain.

  In the meantime, I cracked my eyes open and tried to enjoy the drive to Swallowtail Lake. It was on the opposite side of town from our destination this evening, but it wasn’t like High Moon was the size of Pittsburgh or anything.

  We’d be there before you knew it, but hopefully not before I was feeling strong enough to actually get out of the car and stand up again.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “Yeah, that’s right. Walk away, you ugly bitch,” the man called after Riva, displaying rotten teeth that probably hadn’t seen the inside of a dentist’s office since before I was born. “Walk right back to whatever camel-humping country you came from, so long as it’s not ... Ooph!”

  I’d had enough, so as Mr. Dipshit Redneck continued to lay into my friend, I stepped in and cracked him one in the jaw. Fortunately, though wrestling was mostly about holds, grapples, and leverage, being a girl in a guy’s sport had meant learning how to occasionally dissuade my detractors, preferably without breaking my hand.

  Turned out I was pretty good at it. Maybe I should have given boxing a go instead.

  Regardless, this jackass had been warned to back off. It had been a nice day down at the lake, at least until Joe Sixpack here decided my friend’s skin color wasn’t to his liking. She tried her best to ignore him, making her practically a saint in my book, but even saints occasionally needed guardian angels.

  Mind you, though I acted the part, I was still worried about biting off more than I could chew. At the end of the day, this guy probably had close to two hundred pounds on me. However, most of that was around his gut. His jaw, on the other hand, was mostly glass.

  He stumbled back, blood pouring from his lips, and fell right onto his well-cushioned ass.

  “Got anything else to say, Jethro?” I asked, sensing a small crowd of onlookers beginning to gather around us.

  An insistent hand fell on my shoulder before I could step forward. “He might not, little lady, but me ... I’d like to have a few words with you both.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  “Mom! Chris! I’m just grabbing my stuff!”

  Nobody answered from inside the quiet house, leading me to believe they were already out. There was no way Chris’s game had gone this long, so that meant they’d probably left for whatever activities she had planned with him. That, or maybe Mom decided to take him to the mall, hoping he’d pick up a new video game and stay out of her hair once they got home. Couldn’t really b
lame her.

  No skin off my teeth either way.

  Riva and I ran upstairs to get changed. She took the bathroom, while I stepped into my room, peeling off my shorts, shirt, and the two piece underneath before throwing on clothes more suited to a night in the woods.

  “Much better,” Riva said after she was dressed.

  “Don’t feel that way. You looked great today.”

  The confrontation with that asshole earlier had made her feel seriously self-conscious afterwards, but it had nothing to do with her appearance – thin and with glossy brown hair I would have killed for. The guy had simply been a racist prick, nothing more.

  Thankfully, the chief of police, Ralph Johnson, had been there with his family and stepped in. He’d been close enough to suss out what happened. End result was us walking away with a minor warning about keeping my temper in check, while the dickhead in question got himself a nice, new asshole chewed. Sometimes small-town justice did work.

  “Thanks. So did you,” she said.

  “I don’t know. I think my good side was obscured by that jerk’s split lip,” I replied, causing us both to laugh.

  The truth was, I’d been hoping for some cute guys to scope out down at the lake, like maybe Gary from the Quick Lube downtown. Considering what happened, though, it was probably for the best that he hadn’t been there. Say what you will about us living in modern times, but it was tough to find a man in this neck of the woods who wasn’t easily intimidated by a strong woman, in the most literal sense.

  At five-three, I was only an inch or so taller than Riva, but our bodies were in stark contrast. Where she had a slight build, I had biceps that put most boys my age to shame. It was a combination of my natural build and having been a wrestler for the past ten years. Where your average Cosmo cover girl was tall and paper-thin, I was short, with a physique closer to a brunette Beth Phoenix than a runway model. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty sure I rocked my swimsuit, but a lot of guys tended to get weird around a girl who could beat them at arm wrestling.