The Diva Digs Up the Dirt

by Krista Davis

  Mars shoved his chair back and crossed an ankle over his knee. “Now what’s this all about?”

  Roscoe’s complexion turned the color of beets. “Somebody in my family is trying to kill me.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Dear Sophie,

  My elderly neighbor has the most beautiful garden. I was complaining about the price of plants, and she told me to look for a plant exchange. What is that?”

  —Crazy for Flowers in Raspberry, Arkansas

  Dear Crazy for Flowers,

  Some plants need to be divided regularly, and others sometimes grow a little bit too well, providing the gardener with extras. Plant exchanges provide a place for people to meet and swap plants. There are even some online.

  —Sophie

  What? Roscoe had our full attention.

  “Now don’t you go telling Francie, either. She’d blab to Olive, who would spill the beans to Audie and Violet. Then Audie would tell Cricket, and before I knew it, the whole family would know. That’s what I wanted to tell Mars about this morning when Sophie found Heath.”

  “Is that why you ended up in the hospital?” I asked.

  Mars cleared his throat. “Let’s get this straight. Roscoe checked himself out of the hospital against doctor’s orders.”

  Roscoe bellowed with laughter. “Hah! That idiot doctor even made me sign something to keep him out of trouble if I drop dead.”

  “What was the diagnosis?” asked Nina.

  “They always say the same thing—heart problems. There’s nothing wrong with my old ticker. I’m telling you, somebody’s been slipping something into my food. I don’t know what I did to make somebody so mad at me, but someone has it out for me. It’s no coincidence that my precious mallard print was stolen, too.”

  Was he delusional? Surely medical tests would distinguish between a heart problem and poison. I exchanged a look with Mars.

  “Don’t go making that face, Mars,” said Roscoe. “What you don’t know is that I had a doctor friend of mine take a blood sample a few days ago. He called me early this morning and broke the bad news that there’s digoxin in my blood—only I’m not taking the digitalis my doctor prescribed. It shouldn’t be there.”

  “Roscoe!” Mars’s mouth dropped open. “Did you tell the doctor that today?”

  “No sirree!” He scratched the back of his neck. “Everybody that can talk warned me about marrying Mindy. ‘Roscoe,’ they said, ‘an old rooster like you has no business chasing a pretty young hen.’ And now they’re all going to say, ‘We told him so, but he wouldn’t listen.’ And the loudest one will be Olive.”

  “You think Mindy is putting your digitalis medicine in your food?” I didn’t know much about her, but I was surprised that he jumped to that conclusion.

  “She must be getting it somewhere else. I flushed my medicine down the toilet. I don’t want it to be Mindy, but who else would want to be rid of me?”

  Nina slapped the arm of her chair and leaned forward. “Do you think that Mindy accidentally murdered Heath instead of you?”

  “I have to admit that thought occurred to me while I was lying in the hospital bed with my family buzzing around me like flies.”

  “But why?” asked Mars.

  “I don’t know. It about kills me that I think it’s someone in my own family. But no one else is around me that much.”

  “Maybe the digoxin is residual,” suggested Nina. “Or what if you’re getting it from another source? What is digoxin anyway? Could it be in chicken or peanuts or something?”

  Roscoe shook his head. “You’re a smart cookie. I asked the same thing. It comes from the foxglove plant. It’s not the kind of thing that can be in your system unless you ingest it. The medicine digitalis is actually made from the foxglove plant. It slows your heartbeat, but if it’s not monitored, it can slow it too much or make it irregular.”

  I shuddered. Poor Roscoe! “What about the day of the picnic?” I asked. “Matt and his crew cooked that meal. Did you feel sick then?”

  “Not sick as much as tired and slow. My vision wasn’t quite right. I saw halos, and things that were green looked sort of yellow to me.”

  “Did someone bring you your food or did you get it for yourself?” Mars focused on Roscoe.

  “That’s the idiocy of it. I went through the buffet line just like everyone else.”

  “How about the day I was there for lunch?” I asked. “Violet cooked the food, and I was in the kitchen with Cricket when she dished it out. It all came out of the same pots. I saw it.” I had left for a second to carry two of the plates to the dining room, but unless Cricket was unbelievably skilled at poisoning food, I doubted that she could have done it so fast.

  “You know, I felt a little bit queasy after that meal.” Mars wrinkled his nose.

  “Mars!” I chided.

  “I’m not being impolite, Sophie, just honest. This is no time for holding back the truth out of some misguided notion of polite obligation.”

  “That makes no sense at all.” I rolled my eyes at Mars. “It would have been impossible for Violet to poison half the food, and since Cricket dished it up, she wouldn’t have any way of knowing which portion was poisoned.”

  “Where was Mindy?” asked Nina.

  Roscoe snapped his fingers. “Well now. I believe that lets my Mindy off the hook because she wasn’t even there.”

  Nina kicked my foot and hissed, “Mrs. Danvers.”

  “The iced tea.” I mused aloud. “I forgot about the iced tea. It was already at the table. I presume you always sit in the same chair, Roscoe?”

  “I do.”

  “So someone could easily have poisoned your tea if the glasses were already on the table.”

  “What about me?” asked Mars. He sounded like a little boy left out of a fun game.

  I chuckled at him. “Maybe the person with the poison just finds you annoying.”

  That innocent little moment of teasing eased the tension in the room. Even though I’d had a little fun tweaking Mars, if he had really felt sick, it might lead us to the culprit. “Seriously, did you have indigestion, Mars?”

  “Not so much stomach issues. That evening, I thought I’d go for a run down by the park, but I didn’t have my usual stamina. I thought… Well, I thought maybe I was getting too old to drink booze in the middle of the day.”

  “I feel better already! It couldn’t be my Mindy because she wasn’t there for our lunch.”

  Just because Mindy skipped out on lunch didn’t mean she couldn’t have poisoned Roscoe’s tea before she left. And she would have been an idiot to poison him on their honeymoon when it was just the two of them. “Roscoe, be careful. I think it might be too soon to eliminate anyone. Don’t let your guard down.”

  I wasn’t sure Roscoe heard anything I said.

  “How do you like that?” He scrambled to his feet. “Now remember, not a word about this to anyone else. I’m going to set a trap for this culprit.” He shook his forefinger in the air. “It’s not that easy to get rid of Roscoe Greene!”

  When we walked home, I considered going to Nina’s house just to avoid Natasha, but Francie was leaving her house in a fishing hat, complete with hooks in it, and a leash in her hands. “I’m going to walk Duke. Wanna come with?”

  “Isn’t it too hot for the dogs?” The dogs would love a walk, but the heat might be too much for elderly Francie.

  She saw right through me. “Eh. I have a hat. We can walk down to the waterfront. Maybe there’s a breeze along the river.”

  “Okay. Anything to dodge Natasha. Have you seen my backyard today? Is it awful?”

  “It’s weird. I can’t figure out what they’re doing.”

  Swell. I stroked Daisy’s head while Francie locked her house. Daisy and Francie’s Golden Retriever, Duke, sensed an adventure and walked ahead of us instead of heeling. We didn’t bother correcting them.

  Olive had called Francie to tell her about Roscoe’s illness and the discovery of Heath’s body.
The subject soon turned to Wolf and Anne.

  I tried to sound casual. “How did Olive meet Wolf and Anne?”

  “I have no idea. Didn’t Wolf say Anne liked to garden? Maybe they met through a local plant exchange or in a class.”

  Sounded reasonable. “A garden club, maybe?”

  “Could be. But a real one, not the kind where the women wear fancy hats.”

  I glanced at her sideways. “Was that a crack aimed at Natasha?”

  “Yes! I saw those stupid hats she made with the veils. Hey! I should volunteer to model one for her and actually work in the garden. Do you know what that veil would look like in ten minutes?” She cackled with glee but quit abruptly and stopped walking. “That’s Audie’s house across the street.”

  I nudged her toward a large tree so a group of people on a walking tour of Old Town could pass by. They clustered next to us. The guide launched into the history of the eighteenth-century homes, noting the cobblestone street and architecture.

  Audie’s Federal-style red brick town house, typical for Old Town, seemed somewhat simple in comparison to some of its neighbors. An American flag waved at the front of the house. By the door, pink begonias thrived in a large terra-cotta pot, and vinca vines trailed over the edges.

  A woman in a raincoat hurried along the sidewalk. Platinum-blond curls peeked out from under a baseball cap. She unlocked Audie’s door and disappeared inside.

  “Was that Mindy?” I asked.

  “Sure looked like it to me.”

  I gazed up at the clear blue sky. “Are we expecting rain?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  “I’m sure she has a good reason for being there.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Francie! What you’re suggesting is repulsive. Come on. We can’t stay here all day.” It did bother me that Mindy had wrapped up as though she intended to disguise herself. And I had seen Audie embracing her after the picnic… “No! I’m sure you’re wrong about this. Let’s go.”

  She whipped her hand out to stop me. “Well, well, well.”

  A black Corvette convertible pulled into a parking space. Audie eased out of it like an old man, trudged to his house, unlocked the door, and let himself in.

  “He looks awful,” I whispered.

  “He’s had a hard day what with a dead man at Roscoe’s and his dad in the hospital. Look at that—second floor.”

  Audie drew the curtains closed. I felt myself sag. The moment between Audie and Mindy in the garden hadn’t been as innocent as I’d hoped. “Eww. I don’t even want to know about this. It’s wrong. It’s disgusting! Go, go, go!”

  We walked on to the river, Francie laughing at me.

  “I had no idea you were so sensitive, Sophie. You know Audie and Mindy are about the same age.”

  “I don’t care. Mindy is married to his father. That’s revolting.”

  “I’ll admit that it boggles the mind a little.” Francie snickered. “Wait until Olive hears about this!”

  “Won’t she let the cat out of the bag?”

  “So what if she does? Somebody ought to tell Roscoe.”

  Somebody ought to, and I knew I didn’t want it to be me. Of course, neither Francie nor Olive realized that someone wanted Roscoe dead. I sighed. Audie and Mindy had just taken first place in that competition. Roscoe had to be told.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Dear Sophie,

  I would love to get my kids involved in gardening. So far they like flowers, but they’re mostly bored with the whole process. How can I make it fun?

  —Garden Mom in Basil, Kansas

  Dear Garden Mom,

  Plant a pizza garden! They can make a pizza shape in the soil and divide it into wedges. Plant onions, tomatoes, red and green peppers, basil, and parsley. Plan a little celebration when you harvest enough ingredients to make your pizza. They’ll check the garden every day!

  —Sophie

  I thought Roscoe should hear the news about Audie and Mindy from Mars. The two of them had developed a bond, and Mars would understand how important it was for Roscoe to be aware of the connection between Mindy and Audie. Unfortunately, Mars’s iPhone had landed in the possession of the police, so I had no alternative but to call his house.

  It was ten o’clock at night when he rapped on my kitchen door and opened it. Daisy whined and danced around his legs. Mochie stretched a paw at him, begging for attention.

  “Why do I think this is bad news?”

  “You and Roscoe seem very chummy these days. I’m beginning to think Roscoe might be planning to run for office.”

  Mars grinned. “Roscoe prefers the role of puppeteer behind the scenes. I’ve grown very fond of the old guy. He trusts me, and right now he needs someone outside his family circle whom he can trust.”

  I filled him in about what Francie and I had seen.

  “Ugh! Roscoe will flip out if I tell him that.”

  “It’s ugly all right. It could get even uglier if you don’t tell him, and they manage to do him in.”

  Mars groaned. “Wait a minute. If Audie is involved with Mindy, why is he engaged to Cricket?”

  “Good question. I don’t understand it. Cricket is like a goddess. Who would choose Mindy over her?”

  “Mindy is sort of stiff,” said Mars. “I keep waiting for her to loosen up. She’s friendly enough, but there’s something formal and priggish about her. Are you absolutely certain it was Mindy you saw?”

  “Francie saw her, too, if you want to verify the sighting.”

  “Okay, okay, I believe you. Do you think I can wait until morning to break the news to Roscoe?”

  Who was he kidding? “Well gee, if someone was trying to poison me, I think I’d like to know as soon as possible!”

  He stroked Daisy and sighed. “Think about it, Soph. I can’t exactly tell him over the phone because someone at his house might be listening in. And I can’t exactly drive over there and knock on the door, because then Mindy will know something’s up. What am I supposed to do, stand on his lawn and throw rocks at the window? Lurk outside his den waiting for him?” He checked his watch. “It’s very late. He knows someone is trying to poison him, so he’s already being cautious, and it’s unlikely that he’ll eat anything before breakfast anyway. I’ll go over there early tomorrow morning.”

  Mars had a point. After all, Roscoe was the one who figured out that he was being poisoned. The only new development was that it might be his wife doing the dirty deed. Besides, as concerned as I was, I couldn’t think of a way to let him know that wouldn’t alert Mindy or Violet. “We’ll just have to hope for the best then.”

  He left by the front door. I scooped up Mochie so he wouldn’t run out and felt the soft caress of the warm summer night. Since my backyard had been ripped apart, I considered taking Daisy for another walk, just to enjoy summertime.

  I was about to close the door, when a movement on the other side of the street caught my eye. Wolf stepped out of the shadows. I couldn’t see him well, but he bowed his head and walked away like he was thinking about something.

  Still holding Mochie in my arms, I rushed outside. “Wolf!” I hissed.

  He turned around.

  “What are you doing?”

  He glanced up and down the street before sprinting over to peck me on the cheek and pet Mochie. “I’m sorry that I’ve been so hard on you lately. It’s not a good excuse, but I’ve been sort of self-absorbed.”

  “You don’t need to apologize. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Want to come in for a nightcap?”

  A ragged sigh escaped his lips. “Sure it won’t upset Mars?”

  Did I detect a note of jealousy? We walked inside my house, and I set Mochie on the floor. “Quite sure.”

  I didn’t bother asking what he would like. I pulled a couple of footed hurricane glasses from my cabinet and filled them with crushed ice. Using a jigger to measure, I poured sweet peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, and orange juice into each. The ora
nge and red colors melted into each other, no doubt the origin of the name, Sunset Boulevard.

  It was all I could do to keep from blurting the uppermost thing on my mind—did they find any other evidence today? Handing Wolf a drink, I sank into a chair that faced him. “Are you hungry? I could whip up—”

  “I’m good.” He sipped the Sunset Boulevard. “This is perfect. So, did Mars’s late-night call have anything to do with Roscoe’s visit to his house earlier today?”

  Whoa! I hadn’t expected that. How could he possibly know? The shock on my face was surely giving me away. I bolted from my chair and sought a task.

  I opened the refrigerator door. “I haven’t had dinner. I’m starved.” I spotted a gorgeous, light-purple eggplant that I’d harvested from the garden before Troy arrived. If memory served, I had picked up a ready-made six-grain pizza crust. I found it and slid it out of the package.

  Wolf watched me slice onions and toss them into a pan to caramelize. I busied myself with the eggplant and bright red peppers.

  He rose, washed his hands, and opened the fridge. The next thing I knew, he was grating mozzarella. “What do you think about a little bit of fresh arugula on top for a zing? Basil, too?”

  For the millionth time, I thought that there was no way Wolf killed his wife. What kind of murderer pitched in to make a white pizza—with arugula no less?

  As though he could read my thoughts, he eased behind me, placed his hands gently on my shoulders, and turned me around. “We’ll get through this. I don’t know how it will all play out. But I know one thing. I did not kill Anne. Over the last couple of days, I have had to face the horrifying truth that someone did kill her. But it wasn’t me.”

  An eight-inch chef’s knife was still in my hand when I hugged him. “I wish you would let me help you.”

  He let go of me and returned to the cheese. “I know you do, Sophie, and if I think of anything at all that you or Nina can do, I promise to let you know.”

  I was willing to let the door close on this topic fast, before he could say to keep my nose out of it.