Houseboat

by Paul Shadinger

  Betsy and Bill had excused themselves. They returned pushing a cart which had a box sitting on top of it. The box resembled a large cake box except it was about three feet tall. Everyone at the table grew quiet. Betsy and Bill took positions alongside the cart and each took a grip at the bottom of the box. With a nod of Betsy’s head, the top of the box was lifted. Under the box was a cake. A cake shaped like a blue hat…a blue hat shaped exactly like the one Audrey Bottomsley had worn. And sticking out of the top to the cake was a large daisy that wiggled back and forth on a long stem. Richard and I almost peed out pants we laughed so hard. Try as might, the two of us just could not stop laughing. Finally, Jennifer had to explain to the rest of the group what the significance was. Sharon had heard about the hat so she at least had some clue.

  Jennifer held up her hands, signaling for us to be quiet. “I wanted to show Matt and Richard how much I appreciated what they did for me. Richard already knows that Audrey has accepted my settlement offer and everything is now in the process of being finalized. I am headed back home in a week and I didn’t want to leave until I had thanked all of you for your help. I wanted to do something special. Especially something that would be meaningful to Matt and Richard.

  “The first time I saw Audrey Bottomsley she was wearing a hat like this.” She pointed at the cake. “I was so frightened and Matt was so sweet to be there with me. When that woman came into the room with that hat on, I thought there would be no way for me not to die laughing. When I looked at Matt and saw he was looking at the ceiling to keep from laughing, I knew in that instant, things were going to work out. I think the most difficult thing that day was not to laugh out loud. Between her fat little nephew and her God awful outfit, I just prayed I could get through things without disgracing myself and not dissolve into fits of laughter.”

  She turned to Richard, “Matt said you were the best. He was correct. You really are amazing.” I watched as Richard turned beet red and looked down at the table. I could tell how embarrassed he was. Jennifer turned to me. “Matt. You didn’t have to help me. I was a stranger and you treated me like I was the best friend you ever had.” She looked at Sharon, “Sharon, if you ever get tired of him, please send him to me. You have a keeper.” Now it was my turn to turn red and stare at the table. “If any of you ever come to Europe and don’t come and visit me, I will be hurt and very angry. I have a large villa over there and plenty of room. All of you must come and visit.”

  Jennifer turned to Betsy and Bill and told them they could now serve the cake. I don’t remember much about the flavor, but I’ll never forget the sight of it as the lid was lifted and the daisy started to flop back and forth.

  The four of us were back in the limo and were headed back to drop Richard and his wife off. Richard remarked that Jennifer had been one of the most interesting clients he had ever had. I asked him if he was aware she was going to get married when she got back home. He hadn’t known. I proceeded to tell him about her living arrangement and how she was going to actually marry two people, a man and a woman. Sandy piped up and looked at Richard, “That’s not a bad idea. I would have a friend to talk to and if I wasn’t in the mood, there would be somebody else to take care of you.”

  Sharon and I cracked up. Finally Sharon stopped laughing, “You know, that isn’t a bad idea. Should I give up Matt and move in with you or do you want to give up Richard and move in with us?” I will be eternally grateful that at that moment we pulled up in front of Silversmith’s home and I didn’t have to hear the answer. We all bid each other a good evening and the driver took us home.

  As we rode up in the elevator Sharon asked me, “So, do you want to have two wives?”

  Even though I’d had a lot to drink, I was still aware that the wrong answer could be dangerous to my health. “Darling, you are all the woman I need.” I told her.

  Sharon took my face between her hands and kissed me. “Good answer, boy. Good answer.” I thought to myself how I had dodged a bullet there. BJ greeted us and I excused myself to take her for her outing. As Sharon stepped back onto the elevator she smiled and said, “Take care of BJ. Let me change and I’ll be back…if that’s okay with you?”

  “I thought you’d never ask! Of course. Hurry back.” See, sometimes I actually know the right thing to say at the right time.

  Kind of scary, huh?

  CHAPTER 30

  I remember reading once the most difficult thing to do is usually the correct thing to do. Going to see Jeff L. was a very difficult thing to do. I knew where he lived since I had visited his home several times before. It was late Wednesday afternoon and I had put off going to see him for long enough. I decided it was time to drive over to his neighborhood and park at the corner where I knew he’d have to turn to drive up into his cul-de-sac. I didn’t want to do this, but I also knew I had to force the issue and see Jeff L. about Hollis and Price.

  I timed it just right and I didn’t have to wait very long before I saw his unmarked police car coming down the street. When he got close enough, I stepped out of my truck, and stood by the side of the road where I knew he’d see me.

  At first he just looked at me and scowled as he drove on past. Suddenly the brake lights came on and he came to an abrupt stop. He paused a few moments and then I saw the reverse lights come on as he started to back up. He stopped next to me and shifted the car into neutral as he put down his window.

  He glowered at me and then barked, “Wrong area for you, ain’t it? Visiting the slums today?”

  I’ll admit I was a little hurt by his attitude. I tried to use the most peaceful tone of voice I could. “Jeff L., it’s me, childhood friend Matt. What’s goin’ on?”

  I could see Jeff L. was working on getting his emotions under control. Finally he growled at me as he shook his finger in my direction, “By the numbers buster, don’t you ever hang up on me again, especially when it’s about a case. Do you understand?” I ignored him and when he saw I wasn’t going to respond, he continued. “Second, didn’t the Captain tell you to stay away from the case? And, didn’t he tell you to stay away from me?” Without waiting for my reply, he barked at me, “What are you doing here? What part of what Frank told you didn’t you get?” There was a long pause before he continued, “Matt, I do not understand your question: ‘what’s goin’ on’? We’ve already told you what is going on is none of your fucking business. So I don’t see where I owe you any explanations, do you?”

  I almost screamed at him as I leaned towards his window. “Bullshit! Look, I know some things have changed down at the station, none of which, might I add, were of my doing. But why won’t you talk to me?” I pointed my finger at him to drive my point home.

  Jeff sat for a moment in thought, “OK, Matt, you wanna know what the problem is? One more time, listen to me really good. The report from the army comes back on you telling us that we are to leave you alone and that you are none of our business.

  “Plus we had a John Doe who was lying in the morgue,” Jeff paused and glared at me, “Please note the key word in that sentence. He was in the morgue, Matt, was! He was in the morgue until the Feds waltzed in, took the body and all the files, and then they tell us to forget all about him.” He paused, looked out the front window and then turned back, “Oh, and while they were giving out orders, they included you as well! Which, by the way reminds me, where’s the picture we gave you of the John Doe?” Again, I just stood there and stared at him without responding. He asked again, “Where is it?”

  I gave him the best response I could on such short notice, “I lost it.”

  “Bullshit!” He frowned at me and I kept still. Finally Jeff continued, “Matt, all we know is what you tell us. You said you were in some secret hush-hush group in Nam as was the John Doe.”

  I interrupted, “Why do you continue to call him John Doe? I told you his name and I told you who I believe killed him. Jeff, I did exactly what I told you I’d do if I got any infor
mation. Maybe not as quickly as I should have, but I did call you. So, what’s your problem, Bunkey?”

  “My problem is still you. That report came back that you’re still part of the service, that they can still recall you at any time.” I didn’t believe that. “Other than that, everything about you is top secret.” He paused, waiting for my response. Since I had nothing to say, I gave none. Finally he continued, “Do you know how pissed Frank is right now? You just got a very small taste of it the other day. Things are still ugly at work. Frank knows that we’re friends, and now, because of our friendship, he doesn’t trust me. Since he doesn’t trust me, he doesn’t trust Sakol either. Shit, Matt, Frank even wanted to lock the two of us up for a while just for good measure.”

  Jeff sat for a moment, staring again straight ahead through his windshield. Without looking at me, he started again, “And then to top it all off, you call me and give me a couple of names. You give me names on a case you were told to leave alone. Names there is no way I could ever know!” He turned to face me, “How the fuck do you suggest I tell Frank how I got those names?” I just continued to stare at him. “Huh? Come on, Einstein. What do I tell Frank? What do I tell Frank and keep your ass out of jail and Sakol and me still employed?”

  I was such a talkative thing. I had no answer to his questions and I figured the best plan was to keep my mouth shut. Finally he looked back out his front windshield and growled, “That’s what I thought. You got nothing. Do you see what a fucked up situation you’ve put me in? Damn it, Matt, every time I turn around you’re getting deeper and deeper in this case.” He smacked the steering wheel with his open hand and barked, “You asked if you could poke around, not start some major bloodbath,”

  “Stop!” I cut him off. At that point, I had enough. “First off, I don’t consider the events which have taken place can be called a bloodbath. And you make it sound like this was something I wanted to have happen.

  “Second, I told you a long time ago I did some very secret things in the military. Jeff, have I ever lied to you?” I waited, and when he didn’t respond, I asked him again. Finally, he shook his head.

  I continued, “Next, before the military takes me back in, they’ll first be accepting widows and the handicapped, so the crap about me going back in the service is just that—crap!

  “Somehow, you’ve forgotten that I’m in this so deep because of Jennifer. Remember Jennifer, the young girl that you sent to me! Not because I wanted it this way.”

  “Biggest mistake I ever made,” he groused.

  “Yeah Tootsie Bell, too late now! Besides, you’ve known about the tattoo a long time. You also know why I hate it. So, once again, I’m asking you, why are you so pissed at me? I called you right away about Price and Hollis. And there’s still something you haven’t told me.”

  Jeff L. sat in his car staring straight ahead for the longest time. I started to wonder if he’d fallen asleep. Finally, he looked up at me. “Matt, I’m going to give you some really good advice. You heard Frank, now you’re hearing it from me. Listen to me, Matt. Stay away from anything connected with Slim or Jennifer or the houseboat or either of the two names you gave me. Stay away from the station, and most of all, stay away from Sakol and me. Do you understand?” His voice was now almost a scream. I noticed a few of the houses in the neighborhood had people peeking out of their windows to see what the ruckus was.

  “No! Why are you telling me this now? What’s changed? I’m giving you information, as soon as I receive it.”

  “Don’t you get it? This is none of your business. Leave it alone! I’ve said all I’m going to say. Stay the fuck out of this! I mean it, Matt. Friends or not, I’ll put your sorry ass in jail if I find you in my way! Believe it!” He banged his car into gear and he hit the gas pedal as hard as he could, so hard that as he drove off, the tires chirped.

  Instead of getting any good answers, now I found I had even more questions than before. I was sure Frank had chewed Sakol and Jeff L. out for letting me become so involved. I guess the thing that bothered me the most was I had a hard time believing Jeff L. would talk to me like he just did because his captain chewed him a new ass. Jeff L. is open minded enough he could see I wasn’t as responsible for things happening the way he had just insinuated.

  No! There was no doubt in my mind that something more was going on behind all of this.

  But what? That was the big question and I wanted some answers.

  CHAPTER 31

  I returned to my truck, opened the door and then I had to shoo BJ over to her side so I could get in. I started the motor but instead of moving on, I just sat there and mulled over my chat with Jeff L. It disturbed me to have him so angry with me. Our friendship went back a long way and I’d hate to lose it. As I sat there, BJ climbed into my lap and I had no idea how long I just sat there stroking her, brooding over everything that had transpired so far. Finally, I picked BJ up and moved her over to the other seat, and drove off.

  At this point, what I should have done was gone home. Just driven home, gone upstairs and poured some Scotch into a glass, and maybe even gone down and seen Sharon. Or, I could have curled up in my favorite chair and sipped my drink while I listened to some CDs, because I have many excellent CDs that don’t get played enough. Yes, there were a lot of things I should have done, but I didn’t.

  Instead, I drove down a couple of blocks and pulled into a strip mall parking lot. One side of the lot provided an excellent view of the only way Jeff L. could leave his home. As I sat waiting, BJ again climbed back in my lap and settled in. It was peaceful as I sat there waiting. What I was waiting for? I had no idea, but if he had plans to go out again, I wanted to see where he was going. Maybe it was because he kept looking at his watch, but for some reason I had the feeling he was going out again tonight and I wanted to follow. I know it was not the best idea I’ve ever had, but give me a break, I wanted to get to the bottom of this mess.

  Time pushed on, and after I’d sat there for over two and a half hours, I finally saw Jeff L’s squad car pull up to the stop sign. I ducked behind the steering wheel. Even this was a risk because I knew he might recognize my truck, but it was getting dark and I felt I had a good chance of following him without being observed. In addition, my hope was that Jeff L. wouldn’t dream I’d dare follow him. I waited for him to drive on past me and allowed a few cars to get between the two of us before I pulled out behind him.

  I did well following him even though I almost lost him at a red light. When I saw there was no traffic coming from either side, I ran the red light and caught up to him in just a few blocks. When he drove close to the freeway, I thought that he would head north towards his office, but instead he turned south. I wondered where the hell he was going.

  Again, I waited for a few cars to get between us and then tried my best to keep up with his breakneck speed. As we barreled down the freeway for about ten minutes I prayed no police would stop me for speeding. If I told an officer I was following a cop because I wanted to see where he was going it would make a rather flimsy excuse. Finally Jeff L. signaled he was about to pull off. As he exited the freeway I realized there were very few cars in front of me and when we got to the stop sign I’d end up directly behind him without anyone between us. Even as dark as it was, I was afraid he would glance in his rearview mirror and see me. With that fear in mind I pulled to the side of the freeway and waited until he cleared the intersection.

  I had seen him signal at the intersection for a right turn, but when I got to the street, I couldn’t see his car. We were now in an industrial park with several rows of warehouses, and due to the lateness of the hour, things were deserted. Even though it was dark I kept my lights turned off, looking for lights from another vehicle. I wandered up and down each street, looking between the buildings for Jeff L.’s car. As I rolled past one large warehouse, I finally spotted the back end of his car sticking out from behind a dumpster. I quickly pulled my truck to th
e curb and turned off the motor. Leaning over, I patted BJ on her head and told her to stay put. I rolled the windows down a few inches so she could get air, and then locked the door before I headed towards the car.

  A quick inspection showed me there was no one in his car and I continued walking to the end of the alley between the two buildings. When I turned the corner, I noticed at the rear of the building on the left someone had jammed a door open with a piece of wood. Carefully I pushed the door open and peeked inside. At first glance, it looked strange to me. Ahead of me was nothing but a long hallway. It looked like there was no way out of the hallway except the doorway I was standing in and that didn’t make any sense. I had no idea which way to go so I took a chance and stepped into the hallway. As I started down the hallway I finally noticed at the far end another door exactly the same color as the walls. There was no doorjamb or any architectural details around the door, it was just set flush to the wall with nothing but a small knob sticking out. This was weird.

  I moved quickly down the hall and flattened myself against the wall next to the door. When I pulled the knob I was in luck because someone had left this door unlatched from the other side. I peeked through the doorway and around the corner. The door opened into a huge warehouse. The warehouse was dark except for lights from the outside coming through windows located high up on the walls. Everything was just dark shadow.

  I could hear voices somewhere in the warehouse, but due to its immense size, the voices were barely an echo. The sounds bounced around the room making it difficult for me to determine exactly where the voices were coming from. I slowly slipped into the warehouse a few feet and then stopped. Until I could get my bearings, I hid behind a bunch of boxes stacked on pallets.