by L A Cotton
What the hell was that supposed to mean? But there was no chance to ask as he left and slipped back into the crowd.
“Who was that?” Scarlett flounced down beside me, a sheen of moisture coating her face.
“Who?”
“I thought I saw someone over here with you?”
“Hmm, no. Just someone collecting the glasses.”
“Oh, okay.” She wiped her face with the back of her arm and said, “Are you sure I can’t persuade you to dance?”
“No, I’m good. Listen, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, shoot.”
“Why did you invite me here? You don’t even know me.”
Scarlett studied me, helping herself to a drink. When she placed the bottle back on the table, she sighed. “I’ve seen you wandering around CH. You always seem so … I don’t know, pathetic. And when I saw you in Phillips’ class with Kendall, I figured you could use a friend, so I invited you to tag along tonight.”
“Thank you.” The words surprise me because all I could think was ‘I am pathetic.’
Pulling back, she stared at me wide-eyed. “For what?”
“For being honest with me. For inviting me.”
“Hey, it’s all good. Besides, being the new girl sucks. Especially in a place like Credence.”
She wasn’t wrong.
“Oh, come on, smile. It’s supposed to be fun. Come dance with us. I’m sure it’ll make you feel better. Just one dance, please?” Before I could protest, Scarlett was yanking me up off the square box seat and pulling me toward the dancefloor. My stomach churned so violently that I thought I might puke. I hadn’t done anything like this in so long. Would I even remember how to dance?
“It’s just dancing, new girl,” Scarlett threw her head back and chuckled, her body slipping into the crowd. She didn’t let go of my hand, tugging me along until the crowd swallowed me too.
“Come on, Becca,” one of the other girls—Lilly, I think—said. Slinking over to us, she rolled her hips seductively, but Jay shot out his hand and looped it around her waist, pulling her to him. She laughed, and they started making out to the music.
A new beat pounded out of the speakers, and my body moved instinctually. It was like riding a bike—no matter how long you went without doing it, you still knew exactly what to do when the time came. Our hands still entwined, Scarlett lifted them above our heads, bobbing her head in time to the music. Heat licked my skin. The beat pulsed through me. And I let go.
The nervous energy …
The panic…
The fear.
I let it all float away until nothing remained but the music and me.
“New girl's got moves,” Scarlett yelled over the noise. She was no longer holding my hand but moved close beside me.
“You're right; it feels good,” I shouted through a smile. Spinning around on the spot, my hands weaved together in front of me, moving in time with the beat. The room was a blur of bodies, lights, and a smoky haze that made it difficult to see.
But not Evan.
He stood out.
Leaning against the wall opposite the dancefloor, he watched me brazenly. His eyes didn't falter, didn't let up, as he stood there, arms folded over his broad chest as he stared right at me. I didn't know what came over me, but I locked eyes with him, and something passed between us. He confused the hell out of me—frustrated me—but it was more than that. He stirred something inside me—something I didn’t think I’d feel again.
Something I didn’t want to feel, yet something I never wanted to let go of.
I was playing a dangerous game, but I shut down the thoughts, sliding my hands down my sides and swaying my hips seductively. The beat switched to something slower ... sexier ... and I danced for him. For myself. For the new Becca who wanted nothing more than to fit in and find her place again.
Maybe it was the heat, or the heady atmosphere, or the single beer I'd drank, or the fact that for the first time in over four months, I felt free, but I didn't miss a beat as I rolled and popped my body in perfect rhythm with the music. There was a whole dance floor between us, a sea of bodies, but I didn't miss the way his gaze darkened, and he swallowed thickly.
I was affecting him.
Me.
Broken, invisible Becca Torrence.
And it made me feel alive. Until a hand grabbed mine and pulled me around, snapping me from my trance. “Come on, new girl, I love this track.” Jay rolled his shoulders and smiled, placing me between him and Lilly. I smiled back but risked looking over his shoulder at the spot where Evan had stood.
Only, he was gone.
“Excuse me; is there anywhere to call a cab? My cell phone has no reception.”
The security guy stared at me blankly, grumbling something about interference. I'd left Scarlett and everyone else inside, still partying, but it was almost midnight, and I knew Mom would be worried if I showed up late.
“If I walk to Main Street, will I be able to hail a cab there?”
“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Evan stepped out of the shadows, dangling a set of keys in front of my face as his eyes swept down my body. “I can give you a ride.” He didn’t sound too happy about it; in fact, he sounded downright pissed, as if I was some big inconvenience. The confidence I'd felt earlier, dancing for him, slipped away and was replaced with gut-wrenching humiliation.
I dropped my eyes, hugging myself tight, as I tried to hide my blush-stained cheeks. “You don't need to do that; I can get a cab.”
He let out a strained sigh, and it pulled my gaze back to his. Evan glanced around the empty parking lot. “You might be waiting a while.”
I tipped my head back and groaned in frustration. Why hadn't I thought this through properly? Because you have something to prove.
“Come on.” Evan started toward a row of cars. My eyes followed him and then tracked back to the club. I could go back in there and ask Scarlett for help, or I could stay and try to hail a cab. Or I could ...
“Wait, wait,” I called, hurrying after him.
Evan stopped at a black Impala. I knew what kind of car it was because second only to his police career was Dad's obsession with cars.
“Nice ride,” I said, running a hand over the paintwork. It wasn't immaculate; years’ worth of dents and chips marred the finish, but it was still a classic.
“Thanks. It was my old man’s. Where do you live?”
“Westgate. And thanks … for this. I don't want to give my mom a heart attack the first time I leave the house. I tried texting her, but I can't get reception.”
Why was I telling him this? He didn’t need to know how pathetic my life was.
“Yeah.” Evan unlocked the car. “It's the interference from the Port or something. Makes the service drop out sometimes.”
I nodded and waited for him to climb inside before I opened the door and slid into the seat. Evan’s hand gripped the wheel, his knuckles white, drained of blood. He always seemed so tense. And although I was grateful to him for bailing me out, his presence was a lot to swallow.
Backing the Impala out of the parking lot, he turned left, the club shrinking in the distance. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Frustration twisted in my chest. Evan was always so cryptic—when he actually bothered to talk to me, which wasn’t all that often.
“Why not? It’s just a club.” I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye, watching his eyes narrow on the road as if I’d annoyed him again.
“You’re out of your league, Math girl.”
“Becca,” I snapped, growing tired of his shitty attitude.
“Excuse me?” A hint of amusement played in his voice.
“My name is Becca.”
“I know what your name is.”
“So use it.” Folding my arms over my chest, I pressed back into the worn leather. Sometimes, when he looked at me, I felt certain he felt it too—the strange push and pull between us—but most of the time, he just seemed irritated by me. Right n
ow, the feeling was mutual.
We rode in silence until my service kicked in, and my cell bleeped, cutting through the tension radiating around us.
“You should probably answer that. Mommy is worried.” He mocked me using my own words.
Bastard.
Clutching my phone tight, I gritted my teeth, refusing to let him taunt me. But my stupid phone bleeped again, and he laughed. It was all deep and gravelly and did things to my insides that confused me because all I wanted to do was throw something at his face.
“What the hell is your problem?” The words spilled out before I could stop them, and his laughter died. Thank god!
“My problem?”
I turned my head to face him. He kept his eyes on the road, but I knew he could feel me watching him, burning daggers into the side of his face.
“Yes. You obviously don’t like me, but I can’t for the life of me work out why. You’ve spent the whole week ignoring me like I’m nothing.” My voice wavered, but it was too late. I’d said the words now. “You don’t even know me.”
Evan didn’t reply. He didn’t say a damn word, just kept driving. Shrugging back into my seat, I watched the town roll by. Bathed in moonlight, everything looked idyllic. But I knew it was an illusion. This end of Credence was different from our neighborhood. Dad had warned me that it wasn’t like Montecito. Sure, it wasn’t all bad, but it bordered some undesirable neighborhoods. A place like this would eat up a girl like me and spit out my bones. The old you. Because now, I had no choice—I had to learn to survive in a place like Credence.
After ten minutes, the landscape grew more familiar. We passed the school and arrived in my neighborhood. Evan navigated his way with ease, completely focused on the road. And not me. It stung a little—especially after the way he’d watched me dancing. Maybe you imagined it. Maybe he was plotting all the ways to make your life hell.
“Which one?” He broke the suffocating silence, and I pointed at my house. My hand reached for the handle as Evan rolled to a stop, wanting nothing more than to be free of him and his hostility and infuriating mixed signals.
“Thanks,” I said, pushing open the door. Climbing out, I didn’t look back. Until his voice perforated the air, stopping me dead in my tracks.
“Stay away from The Vault, Becca.”
The door clicked shut.
Evan could keep his cryptic advice and go to hell.
I didn't hear from Scarlett all weekend. When Monday rolled around, and I left for school, I’d traded my pristine white sneakers for the old track sneakers I’d found in one of the boxes in the spare room. I also decided to leave my Tiffany bracelet at home; instead, I opted to wear some five-dollar sunglasses I had picked up from the convenience store around the corner. It was some kind of weird metamorphosis; shedding the final fragments of my old self—the one clinging to the last pieces of her life in Montecito—and transforming into the new Becca. The Becca who partied in backstreet clubs and danced for guys who treated her like an annoying younger sister.
As I walked the few blocks to school, finally shaking Mom's insistence on driving me, I caught my reflection in a store window. If my old friends could see me now, they wouldn't recognize me. Back in Montecito, it was all about who you knew, the designers you wore, and how many thousands your daddy had in the bank. I'd never taken that for granted—at least, I didn't think I had—but it was my life, and I'd lived it. From what I'd seen of Credence so far, having money meant a house with a small yard and a functional car in the driveway, if you were lucky.
The sidewalk grew busy with kids heading to school. I didn't make eye contact with any of them, hidden behind my convenience store glasses. Something had changed in me. After staring at my cell phone for most of Saturday, willing it to bleep, I'd had an epiphany. I could wait around for my classmates to get to know me, to accept me, or I could carve out my own destiny in Credence.
Spotting Scarlett and Lilly at the end of the hallway, I started to cut my way through the morning chaos. A few heads glanced my way, but I ignored them. I'd almost reached them when a guy stepped into my view. Evan's back was to me as he said something to Scarlett, but I didn’t miss the way she scowled at him. Her gaze flickered over his shoulder, widening at the sight of me standing there. Watching them. Evan tensed and turned slowly, his stormy eyes landing on me. Some of my new resolve slipped, but I didn’t allow myself to retreat. I held my head high as I approached them. “Hey Scarlett, Lilly.” I smiled, forcing myself to add, “Evan.”
He grumbled something before walking away. I ignored him, but Lilly had other ideas. “New girl, what was that?” she said.
“Huh?” I stared at her, clueless.
“You and Porter? That was some serious sexual tension.”
“No, it wasn't.” I glanced back, searching him out while I rolled his name around in my head. Evan Porter. Of course, he was gone. Something I was beginning to realize he was good at—disappearing.
“Whatever you say. How do you two know each other?”
I cocked my head at Scarlett. “We don't. He's in a few of my classes.”
“I'd stay away from that one. He's all kinds of screwed up.”
He is?
“But oh, so hot.” Lilly stifled a giggle, and Scarlett groaned. “Oh, not you too. What is it about him that has you all foaming at the mouth?”
Lilly shot me a knowing look, and my lips curved into a smile. I couldn't help it. Evan was ... Well, he was freaking gorgeous, even if his mood swings gave me a serious case of whiplash. Lilly dipped inside her locker before slamming it shut. I jumped, startled, and the two of them burst into laughter.
“So tense, new girl.” Scarlett looped her arm through mine and started dragging me down the hallway. “What did you think of The Vault? It’s off the hook, right?”
“You should come hang with us tonight,” Lilly added, falling in to step beside me.
“At The Vault?” I asked.
She laughed. “No, we only go there on the weekends. Tonight, we’ll be at Rogues.”
“Rogues?”
“Lilly,” Scarlett hissed.
“What? I thought she was good people.”
“She is. But you know the rules.”
“Rules?” I tried to interject, but Scarlett was glaring around me at Lilly, who stared back wide-eyed. It was as if they were talking in another language.
“Oh, come on, Scarlett, who is she going to tell?”
“Fine. Fine.” We stopped outside my class, and Scarlett released me. “If I don’t see you around before school ends, I’ll text. Do not say a word to anyone, got it?” Her gaze snapped from my face to Lilly. “This is fucked up, Lil.”
Lilly flashed me a half-smile. “Becca’s cool, I can tell. It’ll be fine. See you tonight,” she said and backtracked down the hallway. Scarlett inhaled deeply, and I got the feeling she wasn’t happy Lilly had invited me to Rogues. Whatever the hell Rogues was.
“Guess I’ll see you later.”
And with that, she left me standing there, more confused than ever.
When I entered math, Evan was already there, sitting in his usual seat. He looked up, but I didn’t make eye contact. Not today. Not after what happened at The Vault. I couldn’t escape him since our desks were next to one another. I could ignore him, though, the way he’d ignored me so many classes before. But something felt different, and I didn’t need to look at him to know he was watching me as I made my way to the back of the room. His heated gaze burned into me, setting off the butterflies I felt around him.
Sliding into my seat, I tried to remain calm when really I was a quivering mess. What was it about him? He was everything I needed to stay away from, but in a strange way, he’d inserted himself into my life. Not the other way around. Sure, he spent most of his time ignoring me, but he always seemed to show up when I needed someone.
“You look different.” His measured voice slid over me like butter.
Refusing to turn to him, I kept my eyes straight ahead,
drawing in even breaths. His soft laughter filled the space between us, but then the teacher started the lesson, and the room fell silent.
By the time the bell rang, I felt ready to combust. Evan hadn’t tried to talk to me again, but his words replayed over and over in my head. Something about the way he’d said it was like he didn’t approve. Which was crazy. Before, I’d stood out; people had noticed me—judged me. Now, I blended. Sure, I didn’t have any particular style nailed, but the blue wash cropped jeans, sneakers, and dark tank top was a lot more fitting for Credence High. I’d even picked up a few chunky bracelets from a thrift store in town over the weekend. Mom’s face had been a picture when I’d shown her, and she’d asked why I wasn’t wearing my charm bracelet again. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. That it made me stand out for all the wrong reasons.
I didn’t hurry to get out of class, and by the time I’d stuffed everything into my bag, the classroom was empty. Except for Evan. He lingered in the doorway. Keeping my head down, I tried to slip past him, but he stepped into my path.
“Don’t let this shithole change you.” He hesitated, and I waited. I waited for him to call me “Math girl,” but “Becca” tumbled from his mouth.
My eyes went wide, and I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. But he was gone before I could find my voice. With a resigned sigh, I walked to my next class. His words bugged me. He didn’t know me any better than anyone else here did, but he’d seen something in me, that much I knew. He saw past the clothes I wore, and the fake smile I tried to plaster on my face. He saw me. I didn’t know how or why, but he did.
But I had to change, didn’t I? If I wanted to fit in at Credence High, to make friends and earn my place, I had to leave behind the old Becca and embrace new Becca.
“So what is this place?”
“You’ll see.” Scarlett kept her eyes on the road. When she said she’d text me after school, I wasn’t expecting her to ask me for my address so she could pick me up. Mom took one look at her rusty Volvo and insisted Dad drive us, but he’d laughed her off, dropping a kiss on my head and telling me to go have fun. I think he was just relieved that I was finally hanging out with kids my age again and doing normal teenager things.