by L A Cotton
“Come here.” He held out his hands, and I took them, letting him draw me up. Evan wasted no time pulling my t-shirt off my body and yanking my jeans off the rest of the way, leaving me lying there in just my underwear. His mouth found the sensitive spot underneath my ear as he lowered himself over me, pushing me back onto the bed. My whole body hummed with anticipation as he stroked his way down my waist, hooking his hands underneath my butt and drawing me closer to him. Close enough that his hardness pressed into me; in the very spot I needed him. “Is this okay?” he whispered against my pulse point.
“Yes.”
“And this?” His eased off me, his hand moving lower until his fingers slipped inside my panties. His thumb rolled over my center, and I shuddered out, “Yes.”
“And this?” A finger pressed inside me, and I moaned louder.
“Evan …”
“Yeah?” His face was above me now, hovering over me. He stared down at me with so much unspoken emotion that I couldn’t think straight. “Becca?” Amusement carried in his voice, but my eyes fluttered shut as he slipped another finger inside me. My breath hitched, waves of pleasure rolling over me and building with every stroke. Evan’s mouth covered mine, swallowing my moans and kissing me in rhythm with the push and pull of his fingers until I crashed over the edge, panting his name over and over.
“Hey.” Warm breath coaxed my eyes open, and Evan stared down at me. Something that both terrified and excited me glittered in his eyes.
“Hi,” I replied, my heart slowly returning to its normal pace.
He brushed his nose over my mine and captured my lips in a quick kiss. “Ready to tell me why you’re really here?”
I tensed beneath him. “I already told you. I missed you.”
“Becca,” he warned, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted. I couldn’t give him anything. Not yet.
His lip quirked as he pinned me to the bed with his charged look. “I could make you tell me.”
“Oh yeah, and how do you plan to do that?”
Evan thrust into me gently, rubbing against me, and I moaned, feeling him right there, only his jeans and my panties separating us. My legs clamped around his waist urging him for more, needing him to ease the throb between my legs, and he let out a laugh. “Maybe you need a little more persuasion?” His voice was light as he moved his hands between us and unbuckled his jeans and expertly wiggled out of them without even leaving the bed. “Where were we? I believe you were just about to tell me—” He pressed harder, and we both moaned. “Fuck, I didn’t think this through.”
A husky giggle worked its way up my throat. “Yeah, you really should have given this more thought.”
Evan dropped a kiss on my lips. “I’m sure there’s a plan in there somewhere.” He rolled his hips again, dragging me closer this time, his hand splayed under my butt.
“Evan,” I gasped, the feel of him almost too much.
“Yeah?” he teased, easing off me and pressing back into me so slowly I held my breath, waiting to feel him. “Is there something you—”
“EV! EVAN!” Eli’s frantic yells had Evan off me and yanking his jeans back on in a second. I sat up, wrapping my arms around my waist, trying to cover myself. To hide the embarrassment washing over me.
“I’ll be right back, okay? He has nightmares sometimes.” Evan disappeared out of the room, and I flopped back onto the bed.
What was I doing?
Scrambling off the bed, I pulled on my clothes, and when Evan finally returned, I had already called a cab.
“You’re leaving?” he asked, wearing a deep frown.
“Yeah, I’d better get home. Mom will be wondering where I am.”
“Your mom, right.” He didn’t believe me. I heard it in his voice.
“But I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” Where we can pretend we’re nothing to one another. I didn’t say it; I didn’t need to. We both knew the moment between us had passed, and tomorrow, we’d just be strangers in the hallway again.
Evan dragged a hand through his hair. “Yeah, tomorrow.” His eyes narrowed, pleading with me, but I needed to go. I needed air. And space.
I needed the harsh bite of the autumn wind to knock some sense into me.
Sidestepping him, I headed to the door, but his hand caught my wrist at the last second. I turned back, meeting his steely gaze. “What are we doing, Becca?”
“I have no idea, Evan.” I smiled sadly.
Because I really didn’t.
The cab pulled up outside my house, and I immediately realized my error. Mom would be up, waiting.
“Becca?” She stood at the door, wrapped in her fleecy robe. The deep creases around her eyes a sign of her worry.
“Hey, Mom.” I flashed her the best smile I could muster. “Is everything okay?”
Her eyes narrowed. “You tell me.” She pressed back against the wall and let me into the house, closing the door behind us.
“Scarlett had to head out early, so I got a cab.”
“Where were you?”
“At Lilly’s.”
“I see.” Mom brushed past me and made her way into the kitchen. I wanted to go straight up to my room and process, but instead, I followed. “I made tea,” she said.
“Thanks. Is something up, Mom?”
“This place.” She sighed heavily. “It’s not what I thought it would be.”
Sensing this was going to be one conversation I couldn’t evade, I slipped into a chair. “We knew it was going to be different.”
Her eyes glossed over, and I could see she was biting back the tears.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered; guilt and regret coiled around my heart, crushing the air from my lungs.
“No, no, Becca, baby, I’m sorry.” She swiped the tears away. “It’s just so different from home.”
Home.
The word reverberated through my bones, and I stuttered out, “I- I don’t know what to say, Mom.”
I didn’t.
I hadn’t asked for any of this. Dad had simply done what he thought needed to be done in order to protect his daughter. And Mom had gone along with it. If word got out what really happened that night—the events that led to the night that changed my life—the people I’d grown up with, my friends, would never look at me the same. In our old neighborhood, people loved nothing more than a scandal, but no one wanted to be at the heart of the story. Because in a place like Montecito, reputations could be crushed as quickly as they were earned. This was the better alternative.
Wasn’t it?
“This place is changing you, Becca, and it scares me.” Sadness filled Mom’s voice, and the crack in my chest widened.
“I’m fine, I promise.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “The clothes, your attitude, your new friends—this isn’t you, baby. This isn’t my Becca. All because of a silly acci …” Her voice trailed off, and she dropped her head.
That was just it.
It might have been an accident, but someone had ended up hurt. Because of me. Because of a game that got out of hand and turned nasty. It was my word against the word of a guy lying in the hospital in a coma … and his father. A man who’d seen us together, witnessed the game we had played, and covered for us on more than one occasion.
“I almost killed him, Mom.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, and she gasped. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”
“It’s true. I know it, you know it, and Dad knows it.”
“He deserved it,” she stated coldly, sending a shiver running through me as I tried to fight off the memories pushing at my consciousness.
Maybe he did.
Maybe I could have claimed self-defense. Maybe the cops would have sided with the young girl bruised and in shock. Maybe I could have pleaded the naïvety card; he lured me in, he seemed nice, he said I could trust him. But the truth was, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I pursued Kane Larson. Excitement … danger … desire. He was the epitome of a bad boy, and I still
went after him, even knowing I was way out of my league.
And it backfired in a way I never saw coming.
I knew what people would say when they found out. So did Dad. It was the reason he covered the whole thing up.
“Mom.” I went to her, wrapping my arm around her waist and dropping my head on her shoulder. “Everything is going to be okay.”
At least, it was a lie that could make us both feel better.
Just for a little while.
Up in my room, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Mom had eventually gone to bed, quiet and withdrawn. I hated it—seeing her like that. The once radiant and upbeat Melinda Torrence reduced to a blubbering mess and all because of me. But if anyone could pull through, it was Mom. She just needed time to adapt, time to accept that her prim and proper daughter was gone.
She’d been gone for a while.
In a little under a year, I would be away at college, and Mom and Dad would be able to pick up their lives without the consequences of that night hanging over their heads. All I had to do was survive senior year … and actually make plans for college. It was something I still needed to figure out. Before everything, I had planned to apply to UCLA. But that was then. Now, college seemed like a distant dream.
My cell phone vibrated beside me, and I patted the bed to locate it, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. But when my eyes fell on the screen, the butterflies died and were replaced with nausea. This image was clearer. A close up of me smiling at my friends. They were off-camera. I knew because I remembered the moment it was taken. Dressed in a crisp white tunic and navy chino shorts, we were going out on my friend Laura’s yacht. Her father had invited a group of us and requested that Kane come along to help. A bleep notified me of an incoming message, and my stomach started to fall away.
Do you think he’d want you if he knew?
“You ignored me this morning,” Evan’s voice was low as he pressed up behind me in the lunch line.
“Stealth, remember?” I hissed, trying to shuffle forward and put some distance between us, to calm the need building in me.
He chuckled in my ear, leaning around me to reach for a sandwich. “I miss you.” Warm air brushed my skin, and I suppressed a shiver. But as much as I wanted to ignore him, Evan’s words melted away some of my cold mood. It wasn’t just things with Evan. Mom had barely looked at me this morning before I left for school, and the text messages from the unknown number continued to taunt me, even though I’d deleted them.
“When can I see you again?”
Ducking away from him, I shook my hair out trying to create a barrier between us. He was too close. I wanted to be closer, but Evan had set the terms of our ‘relationship’—if you could even call it that—which meant no touching in public. No nothing in public.
“I’m working tonight.”
“After?”
“No.” I glanced around. No one seemed to be paying us any attention, not even Kendall and her minions, who were busy laughing at something or someone. All that mattered was they weren’t looking in my direction. That, for a second, I could pretend to be a normal girl.
“Now?”
Heat flickered in my stomach. Deep down, I wanted nothing more than to sneak off to the closet and lose myself in Evan, but I held firm. “No,” I said coolly. I needed time to figure out what I was going to do.
His hand caught my wrist closest to the counter. No one would see, but I felt it. “Becca …”
To my relief, I reached the front of the line. Yanking my arm free, I picked up my lunch up off the tray and slid it onto the pile of other trays. I flashed my pre-paid card at the scanner and hurried out of there. Evan’s heated stare followed me.
“Whoa, easy there.” Jay’s hands steadied me. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” I shot back a little too defensively.
His brows knitted together as he released me and stepped back. “No reason. The guys are in the usual spot. You want anything? I forgot mayo for Lilly.”
“No, I’m good.”
Jay nodded and continued on to the cafeteria. “Porter,” he said, and I tensed, my grip on my sandwich tightening. It was probably going to be a mushed up inedible mess by the time I got to the table. If Evan responded, I didn’t hear him. But I felt him. Watching me. And I knew if I turned around, I’d cave. I’d follow him to whatever secluded spot he wanted to go and give in to his request.
So I kept walking.
“Hey, sugar.” Cindy waved her towel at me as she wiped down the tables. “It’s just the three of us again. Mitch is—”
“Out,” I finished, and she laughed. “Yeah, you’re catching on. Get changed and come help me refill the salt and pepper mills.”
“Sure thing.” I headed straight for the office. Two minutes later, I was back out front ready to get down with salt and pepper.
“Good day at school?”
“Okay, I guess,” I said with a shrug. After walking away from Evan in the lunch line, I managed to avoid him for the rest of the day. He’d text me to reconsider going to his house after I got off work, but I had yet to reply. Lilly had also invited me over to Jay’s, but I didn’t commit to that either … just in case I changed my mind about Evan.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him because every part of me yearned for him. But I felt my façade slip every time I received a new note or photo. What would my friends think of me if they knew the real Becca—the Becca before that night? She might not have existed anymore, but this new Becca wasn’t the real me either. I was caught somewhere between. Sure, I had my own worries, like the rest of the kids at Credence High, but I still had a family who loved me, and parents who gave up everything to protect me. Dad still had a decent job, and Mom didn’t need to work, not yet. My life had changed so much, but it was still nothing compared to what Evan was dealing with. Or Eric and Mischa. Or even Scarlett. For some of my classmates, college wasn’t even an option. They would be stuck in this town, working dead-end jobs with no hopes of ever getting out. I still had my future. I just had to want it. For me, Credence was just a stopgap, a fresh start, a chance to finish out my senior year. I wouldn’t be here forever. Maybe the person leaving the notes was right—I didn’t belong here. But I didn’t belong in Montecito anymore, either.
So where did that leave me?
“Becca? Earth to Becca.” Cindy stared at me, and I blinked, shaking my head free of the endless questions.
“Sorry, I zoned out for a second there.”
“Late night?” She winked, and I blushed. “I knew it. It was the hottie from last week, right?”
“I’m not answering that.”
“Ooh, I’m right.”
“Shut up.” I grabbed the salt container and brushed past her, laughter chasing me through the diner.
“Nothing to be embarrassed about. I was eighteen once,” she called after me, and I pushed through the swinging door into the kitchen.
“What’d I miss?” Rusty looked up from the hot plate, and I rolled my eyes.
“Nothing.”
“Becca got lucky last night,” a voice shouted.
“Cindy!”
“Awesome, good for you. Who’s the lucky—”
The bell above the door chimed, and I peered around the service counter to spy on the new diners. I watched in horror as Cindy rushed over to Evan, fawning over him.
“Let me guess, he’s the lucky guy?”
I glanced over my shoulder and hissed, “Seriously, do you two have nothing better to do?”
Rusty shrugged his shoulders and went back to whatever it was he was doing before my life became more interesting.
“Becca, customer,” Cindy yelled a little too smugly. Her face lit up as I entered the diner, and she pointed at Evan, who sat in the corner booth, studying the menu.
“Stop,” I whisper-hissed.
“What?” she mouthed. “He’s so dreamy. If only I was twenty years younger.”
My eyes almost bugg
ed out of my head at her words, but I didn’t have time to think as she handed me my notepad and nudged me in his direction.
“What can I get for you?” I asked the second I reached his booth.
“It’s like that, huh?” The amusement in his voice was strained, and a pang of guilt bolted through me.
“I’m working, Evan. Can I get you something or not?” I met his stare and cocked my eyebrow. I was being a total bitch, but it was the only way I knew how to protect myself. From him. From the threat of my past catching up with me.
“Becca.” His voice was softer, twisting something inside me. “Talk to me.”
I released a long breath. “I don’t know what you want from me, Evan.”
He raked a hand over his face and then flicked the menu in his hand. “I’ll get the bacon and cheese fries and a chocolate shake, thanks.”
The walk back to the counter felt endless. Cindy watched me with a huge grin on her face, but it dropped when she saw the grimace carved into my mouth. “What’s wrong?”
Shaking my head, I said, “Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing, sugar. Do I need to go over there and talk some se—”
“No, no! We’re just working through some stuff.”
“Communication is the key, trust me. Been there and got the t-shirt. Got a whole wardrobe of them.”
With an eye roll, I put Evan’s order through to Rusty and busied myself. His order was cooked far too fast, and before I had time to think about how to fix things, I was serving him his food.
“Can I get you anything else?”
Evan’s gaze was harder now as he searched my eyes. I felt my resolve crumble. Piece by piece, it slipped away. Neither of us looked away, not wanting to break the connection. Even when the door swung open and the bell chimed, we remained with our eyes fixed on one another. But something caught Evan’s attention, and then I felt her. The daggers in my back. Slowly, I turned. Kendall and her friends stood watching us. A mixture of surprise and amusement in their expressions.
“I didn’t realize you came around here?” Kendall stepped forward, her focus settled on Evan, and I watched something pass between them. Something that pricked my senses.