Dean makes me happy. Really happy.
Palming his jaw, I give his lips a light, soft kiss before lying back down, my eyes focusing on his chest so he can’t see the terror on my face for what I’m about to do. Before I can say those three words, he brings his lips back down to mine, hovering over them with just a breath separating us.
“I love you, Lola. I think I always have, and I always will,” Dean admits, and I gasp, my eyes shooting to his. My mind is spinning, screaming that he loves me. Me! I throw myself at him, not giving him a chance to blink before I’m kissing him, pouring everything inside me, all of my love, into that one kiss.
Pulling back, breathless, I look into his eyes, my own shining with unleashed tears. This night went from bad to unforgettable. It’s a day I’ll never forget.
“I love you too, Dean. I loved you as a child, but I love you more as an adult. It’s more now, means more, and I understand it,” I say through a watery smile. I watch as his face lights up, his eyes glowing with hunger as he grabs the back of my neck, pulling me in for a soul-shattering kiss.
His erection presses against my opening, and I hiss from the soreness. He quickly lifts his weight off me, worry and concern sketched into his features.
“What? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asks quickly, looking down at me and checking me over. He lifts his chin so his eyes meet mine once again, I give him a shy smile.
“Just a bit sore is all,” I tell him quietly, too embarrassed to say it’s from the giant anaconda he’s blessed with.
“Well, how about you take a shower and I’ll grab you some water with a couple pain-killers? I’m sorry I hurt you, Lola. I should’ve been more careful and took things a little bit slower. I just… I couldn’t control myself, not around you.”
I run my fingers over his eyebrows, smoothing out his frown lines.
“Dean, I wouldn’t change a thing that just happened between us. It was magical, everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more. Please don’t say you’re sorry, not when making love to you was… It was everything,” I whisper, fluttering my eyelashes shyly as I look up at him. “And I’ll only take a shower if you have one with me,” I whisper seductively, running my hand down his body and palming his erection in my hand, pumping it lazily. “After all, it’s you who got me all dirty, so it’s only fair that it’s you who cleans me down.”
His grin is huge when he looks up from where I’m pumping him with lazy strokes.
It takes my breath away at how shockingly beautiful he is, and knowing that it’s me he loves.
A squeal escapes me when I’m suddenly thrown over his shoulder, but it soon turns into a giggle when I smack his ass, and he growls, smacking my backside playfully as he carries me over to the bathroom.
Entering the bathroom, he immediately turns the shower head on. He doesn’t bother to wait for the water to heat up before he pulls me under the cold spray. I squeal again as the cold water hits my back and Dean makes me suffer the agony for a few seconds before letting me down, my slick body sliding down his.
Water runs down my breasts and Dean notices, leaning down to lick the droplets off my breast. Stepping closer and feeling him harden against my stomach, I moan as my body lights up, needing him again.
Tugging at his hair, I pull his head closer so our eyes are level, our lips a mere breath away.
“Please. I need you again,” I say, staring into his deep penetrating eyes.
“You’re going to be the death of me, baby, but I’d do anything for you. It will be my fucking pleasure.” He leans in to kiss me again, but before his lips can touch mine he pulls away with a frown. “Shit! I don’t have a condom. Wait here,” he tells me―like I’m going to leave right now―before rushing out of the shower dripping wet. He heads into the bedroom on his tiptoes, careful not to slip, and I laugh while watching his fine ass bounce as he leaves the room.
Placing my head under the spray, I sigh, loving the feel of the water rushing down my body. My thoughts are overtaken by Dean and the way he felt when he was inside me, making love to me, and my core tingles. God, the way his kisses feel against my throat, across my breasts, but mostly the way they feel on my lips. I love how he’ll entwine his tongue with mine. There’s nothing in this world that feels better.
I’m so consumed with thoughts of us together that I don’t hear him enter the bathroom. My eyes snap open when I feel him moving towards me in the shower, and I stand straighter, spellbound, his eyes hypnotising me. Lust, love, and pure hunger reflects back at me, and with just that one look, he has me wet and ready for him once again. My legs feel like jelly, and when he makes no move to step towards me, I make the decision myself, leaving no space between us.
Suddenly he snaps out of his daze and reaches for me. His movements are fast, and before I know it, I’m being pushed against the cool tiles in the shower.
Lifting me so I’m at the right angle, he enters me in one fluid motion, and we both cry out in ecstasy.
He thrusts into me repeatedly, and we’re both screaming out our release. As he places me back down, we study one another lovingly before reaching around me for a washcloth. He takes his time washing me, cleaning every inch of my body and when it’s my turn, I take my time exploring every delicious hard ridge of his body.
Neither of us talk, taking the time to just be with one another as we dry off. It’s only when we get into bed that we exchange words, holding each other tightly.
“I love you, baby,” he whispers, giving me a brief kiss.
I smile lazily, my body aching and sated in a good way. “I love you too,” I whisper back, my words filled with so much emotion.
“Goodnight, love. Sweet dreams,” he says, pulling me closer to his body, like he’s afraid I’ll run away during the night.
Fat chance of that. He’s stuck with me now.
“Night, Dean.” I yawn and close my eyes, exhausted from tonight’s sexual activities.
Chapter 17
I wake up blissfully happy, a wide smile spreading across my face. Stretching my body, I feel the soreness from last night's events between my legs. It’s a good feeling, and I love knowing it was Dean who put it there. His hands felt like silk sliding across my skin. Just thinking about him and his touch is making me wet, more so now that I know what he can do with that body of his.
I never expected sex to be like that. Reading thousands of romance novels, I always thought mind-blowing, world-altering sex was a myth, fiction. Boy, was I wrong. Not that I have anything other than Rick to compare it to, but then I don’t think he should be given the privilege. What he did to me wasn’t sex or making love, it was… It was evil. It was degrading and…
Shaking my head, I rid myself of negative thoughts. I’m can’t think of him right now, not when I finally have someone good in my life.
I was worried Dean wouldn’t enjoy himself, or that I’d do something wrong that would put him off me, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. What happened between us was worldly, absolutely incredible and something I’ll forever treasure.
I turn around, feeling Dean’s breathing shallow out, and I know he’s stirring awake.
“Morning, beautiful,” he greets, his voice raspy and filled with sleep. I have to bite back a moan when I feel his morning wood pressed against my backside.
“Morning.” I turn to face him, a bright smile lighting up my entire face when I catch sight of him. His eyes are lazy with sleep, the colour a deep blue, and he’s in need of a good shave, but I’ve never seen him sexier.
“What would you like to do today? I have the whole morning off, but I do have to pick up an order for Mom tonight. We can do something before I have to leave though, if you want?” he asks, and my mind runs wild. I can think of a million things, some including us naked, but there’s something important I need to do. And I think I need to do it before I can talk myself out of it, so it needs to be today.
“Well, I’ve actually been thinking about what you said to me last night, and I think
you’re right,” I tell him before meeting his eyes, seeing he doesn’t understand.
“I said a lot of things last night,” he says, raising his eyebrow at me.
I fidget nervously with my hands, not meeting his eyes. “I mean about telling someone, telling my grandpa and your parents about Rick. I’m not comfortable with telling them, but I know they’ll only worry about me more if I don’t. I’m so torn about it, but it’s the right thing to do. I can’t keep letting my grandpa worry. With my SIM card snapped up, I can’t even call him to say I’m okay.
“Your parents have a lot going on too. I heard them going over the plans for the masquerade ball and the charity event coming up. I couldn’t live with myself if I somehow messed that up because they’re worried about me. But really, when is a good time to tell someone that kind of thing?” I ramble, my anxiety bubbling to the surface.
Lily and Mark have been throwing charity events for as long as I can remember. They take each one of them seriously, and although I was never old enough to attend one before, I knew how important they were to the couple. Back then they only ever rented the cabins out for attending guests, but this time they’ll be doing more than accommodating. They’ll be holding the event here, at Cabin Lake.
It’s going to be a lot for them to deal with, especially if I tell them about my past and what happened to me. I don’t want to be a burden to them. And since I’m excited to attend an event myself, I don’t want to jeopardise anything and ruin it for them.
“Lola, they would never be too busy for you. You need to know you don’t need to do this if you’re not ready.” He sighs, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand “If this is about last night and what I said about our case with your granddad, then I’ll handle it. I’ll handle him. I don’t want you to worry over that. I only told you because I hated keeping things from you. It wasn’t right, and it was killing me. We can talk to your granddad about changing lawyers. It’s up to you though. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be beside you one-hundred percent.
“Personally, I think you’re strong enough for anything. Also, if we tell your granddad, then he can keep an eye on Rick for us. We still don’t know what he’s up to or what connections he has. Hell, we don’t even know if he’s looking for you. If your granddad keeps an eye out, we’ll have the upper hand. He can keep us one step ahead,” he says, rubbing soothing circles on my hip.
He’s right, and I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it first.
Maybe telling Grandpa won’t be that bad.
I need to suck it up. I told Dean pretty much everything, and the relief made me feel lighter. It’s helped to make dealing with it all easier. So if getting this out in the open will bring me one step closer to feeling like my old self again, or even a step towards the new me, I’ll take it. It might help me breathe easier too, knowing it’s all out there. Lying isn’t one of my strong suits and every time I tell one, even if it’s a little white lie, I feel sick to my stomach, a part of my soul chipping away.
“Okay, but will you stay with me when I call him? And can I use your phone, please?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly.
“Oh, crap! Wait, I forgot to give you something,” he says, jumping off the bed. He runs to the bag he brought over with some fresh clothes and starts rummaging through it. Since he’s stayed every night but one, it only seemed right he brought over some of his things. It also prevented him from having to keep going back and forth between cabins.
It’s comforting to know that he’s here when I wake up from one of my nightmares. He stays with me, always soothing me and calming me down. He makes me feel safe when all I see is Rick in my nightmare, reliving it all over again while I’m awake. He’ll sit there for hours if need be saying it’s not real, that’s it’s just a nightmare. It’s nice to have that reassurance because some nights I need him like I need air to breathe.
I’ve lain in his arms wishing he would kiss me, secretly hoping he’ll make a move. I’m just glad that isn’t something I have to worry about anymore because I can kiss him whenever and wherever I want to. He’s mine and I’m his.
Dean comes back to the bed holding a box in his hands, and I sit up, intrigued.
Opening it up, he pulls out a new iPhone from the box, and I gasp at the incredibly sweet and kind gesture. He simply is the best man I know.
“I got you this the other day, but I kept getting too distracted to give it to you. I knew you would refuse to let me get you one, so I went out and did it on my own. I’ve installed mine, Moms, Dads, Pagan’s and Sid’s phone numbers. Oh, and Brooke’s. I’ve also saved my office number and my other work number just in case you can’t get a hold of me on my normal phone. Is that okay?” he asks, looking unsure now that he’s finished explaining.
I can’t get over how thoughtful he’s being. He went out of his way to get me a phone, and I didn’t even ask for one. God, he’s always finding things to make me love him that much more.
I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in, kissing him softly, moaning when he deepens the kiss. His hands move to my back, pressing me closer against his warm chest.
Reluctantly, I pull away breathing hard. If I don’t, I’ll never get around to making this phone call.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I glance over my shoulder at Dean, grinning. “Come on! I won’t be able to concentrate knowing you’re in here naked. We need to move into the front room.”
Dean bursts out laughing, making me pause to admire his incredibly handsome features. I love his laugh. It sounds deep, husky, and carefree. I also find the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs incredibly fucking sexy.
I head into the living room as Dean makes us some coffee. He hands me the steamy cup of goodness, joining me on the sofa and placing a comforting hand on my thigh as I dial my grandpa’s office in case Rick still has his mobile.
After the fourth ring, my hands begin to feel clammy. Sweat trickles down my back, between my breasts, and across my forehead. My throat is knotted up, and I hope that when he finally answers, I’ll somehow manage to find my voice. My mouth is so dry, even with the sips of coffee I’m taking.
“Lawson Law. You have Sally Coyle speaking. How may I help you?” Sally greets, and I want to groan into the handset.
Sally was once my grandpa’s personal assistant, but a few years ago he pretended to promote her to personal receptionist. Really it was a demotion. I honestly don’t know how she didn’t see the difference between the two jobs. She was happy with the ‘promotion’.
When I questioned Grandpa on it, he simply said he couldn’t handle her attending another meeting with him and that the next time he had to I’d be arranging his funeral because she was so annoying to work with. He still had to put up with her whining and lack of work ethics, but at least he didn’t have to take her with him to meetings and business trips.
Once, we were on the phone to each other, and I laughed the whole time he bitched about her. Rick had watched the whole thing with a murderous and judgemental expression. He didn’t like that my attention wasn’t solely focused on him. It was another reason why he hated my grandpa. You see, my grandpa is a good, kind man, but he loves work gossip. When he was younger, nothing scandalous ever happened, so he loved to keep up with the office gossip, so he felt like he was somehow a part of their group. I guess men never really grow up; they’re just big kids at heart.
When I got off the phone, Rick had turned the entire conversation I had with Grandpa to be about him. He accused me of keeping things from him just because I didn’t want to tell him who the girl was that we were talking about. I didn’t want to tell him it was about Sally because I knew he liked her and because I didn't particularly want to cause trouble for anyone in the office. I tried everything in my power not to mention her name, but then I slipped up in the heat of the moment.
I wasn’t expecting the reaction I got.
He beat me that night, covering my body in bruises. I was just thankful he had enough control to av
oid my face.
I wasn't one to be bitchy or mean, but there was something about Sally that got me angry and riled up.
The phone call was the first time I’d ever expressed how I really felt about her. I usually kept quiet, keeping my opinions to myself, but that night I had to say something. I called her a bitch. One word, that’s it. And I think I deserved that outlet after all the times she’d bitched and was mean to me.
It didn’t help that it was Sally who was rumoured to have slept with Rick. Grandpa overheard the rumour at work and told me about it, seeing truth in it and worrying for me.
I confronted Rick after and he immediately denied it, going as far as to cause a massive argument, accusing me of having trust issues. He turned it all around on me, saying I was only accusing him of cheating because I had a guilty conscience. In the end, I believed he was telling me the truth or maybe, deep down, I ignored it knowing there was nothing I could do if he had cheated. There was no way out for me. Stupid, I know.
When Grandpa confronted Rick the next day in his office, giving him a hard time over the rumours, Rick had come home, livid. It was the first time he broke my ribs―two of them, in fact.
I remember hating Sally more than I normally did after that. I blamed her, and I blamed him. Every time I struggled to breathe or winced in pain, I’d plan the perfect revenge in my head… on both of them.
“Hello,” Sally’s irritated, snotty voice says through the phone. It snaps me out of my daze, and I shake my head, annoyed with myself for getting lost in my own thoughts.
“Hi, may I speak with Dwayne Lawson, please?” I ask, clearing my throat. I don’t bother introducing myself; she’d only have it announced on all floors in five minutes. Plus I don’t want her to know it’s me just in case Grandpa isn’t in his office.
“I’m sorry, but he’s with a client right now. If you can call back tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll be free,” she says, being brash, and I can feel myself getting worked up already. She has that effect on people.
If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1) Page 18