When You Wish upon a Rat

by Maureen McCarthy

  “Things at home have gone from bad to worse since you left,” she said morosely.

  “In what way?” He seemed genuinely interested.

  “Well, it’s … a complete horror show now, you know.”

  “Do you hate them?” Rodney asked. “Your family, I mean?”

  Ruth faltered a little. Hate was too strong, but when she remembered the scene that morning and all the other mornings, she felt weary at the very thought of trying to explain how she felt. It was exhausting living with her family, and she saw no signs of it getting any better in the near future.

  “It’s complicated,” she said, “but I think maybe I was put in the wrong family.”

  “Uh-huh.” The rat was staring at her; the long, spiky lashes around his eyes were lowered. “So how does that make you feel?”

  “Like a fish out of water,” Ruth said sourly.

  “Go on,” the rat said with an encouraging half smile.

  But Ruth didn’t know what else to say. She shrugged. “Since you left and Mary Ellen died, I’m a fish out of water.”

  “Be more specific!” Rodney ordered sharply. “And by the way, I didn’t leave. I was thrown!”

  So she told him about the way everything revolved around her brothers now, how selfish and spiteful Marcus could be and how wearisome and spoiled Paul was. She described the way her mother was always running late, always in a flap, and detailed the lack of order in their lives and the lack of money. As well as all the completely stupid things her parents got involved in, like inventions and art, when they should have been concentrating on normal things, like paying off the mortgage and fixing the house. The rat was, of course, familiar with most of it, and sympathetic too, but he listened intently with that same sneaky half smile on his face that made Ruth wonder what he was really thinking.

  “Everything was better when you were around. So I came looking for you,” Ruth concluded lamely. Why was she telling all this to a rat? She must be crazy!

  Rodney brightened. He bounced up and down as though he couldn’t contain himself.

  “And what a good idea that was, Ruth Craze,” he puffed pompously, and scratched his head as if there were a very big idea inside just waiting to be let out. “What a very good idea!” he muttered again. “What an excellent idea!”

  “How do you mean?”

  “You want to get away from them, right?”

  “Do I ever!” Ruth sighed.

  “And that is where I come in,” he said, looking at her from under his sly, hooded eyes.

  “What do you mean?” Ruth asked in bewilderment.

  But the rat just chuckled. He stood up straight and gave her a mock salute. Then in about three swift movements he hopped onto a higher rock.

  “It’s no accident that you turned up here today,” he said cheerfully. “I can see that now. So let’s get cracking. We’ve got to get down to business.”

  Rodney told her. “You’ll have three chances to create your perfect life. If for some reason you don’t like where you’ve ended up, you can return from each wish at the end of one day. If you choose to stay longer than one day, you’ll stay in your new life forever.”

  Rodney was lying on his back with his front paws behind his head and his eyes half closed. “So … what do you say?”

  The sun was still shining and the breeze was still making the leaves tremble, but Ruth felt as if she’d been catapulted into a different universe altogether. She’d just given the last of the biscuits and cheese to Rodney and watched as he ate them, stunned by how much he was able to put away. His belly was now huge and round.

  “How will I … return?” She could hardly get the words out, she was that excited. Rodney had just offered her the most improbable but exciting deal of her life, but her cautious nature told her that there could well be a catch. She needed more time to think.

  “Nothing to it.” Rodney snapped his fingers. “But I’ll tell you all about that later. First up, you’ve got to decide if you want to make use of this special offer.”

  “I think so,” Ruth said slowly, “but I’m not completely sure.”

  “By all means have a think about it,” Rodney said dreamily, as though half asleep.

  They were quiet for a while. But Ruth could tell the rat wasn’t asleep by the way his eyelids flickered.

  “Could you go through it one more time?” Ruth asked, thinking she might have missed something important.

  “Okay.” Rodney yawned and sat up and tried not to look bored. Ruth noticed that he’d been in a distinctly better mood since the food. “You describe your perfect life and I’ll do my very best to get it happening for you. My powers are limited, so I can’t promise everything, but I can manage quite a lot.”

  “And I get three tries to get it right?”

  “Correct.” Rodney held up three claws. “Three bites at the cherry.”

  “And I can come back if I want to?”

  “Yes. Before the end of the first day you may return to your present life through a red door, which will be provided.”

  “And will it be easy to find?”

  “Very easy … Just make sure you know where it is as soon as you arrive.”

  “Do I need a key?”

  “No keys.” Rodney yawned again. “Easy to open and easy to close. If you decide not to stay, then you must walk back through that door by six o’clock. If you don’t do that, then you will have elected to stay in your new life.”

  “Forever?” Ruth whispered.

  “Forever.” Rodney was getting impatient. “Now, we’ve been through all this already, Ruth. There are no tricks. No double-dealing. It’s really very easy, and, if I may say so, you’d be mad not to take the opportunity. Not everyone gets this kind of chance to change their lot in life.”

  “Have other people done it?”

  “So many that you couldn’t count!” the rat chuckled.

  “Do most of them stay?”

  “I don’t keep statistics!” he said shortly. “Look, I haven’t got all day.”

  “Did my aunt ever … do this?”

  Rodney shook his head impatiently. “I was able to help her in other ways.”

  “Such as?”

  “Hmmm.” Rodney gave a sly grin. “Let us just say there was a gentleman involved.”

  “Oh.” Ruth sighed and tried to remember if her aunt had ever had a boyfriend.

  “Was my aunt … in love with someone?”

  “I don’t have time to go over old news, Ruth.” Rodney was tapping one paw on the ground. “Do you want to take up the offer or not?”

  “When I come back …” She knew she was annoying him, but it couldn’t be helped. She had to be clear about it all. “You’ll be here?”

  “If you come back after the first wish and after the second wish, I’ll certainly be here to organize the next. But if you come back from the third one—in other words, if you choose to squander all your chances—then I shall bow out.”

  “Okay,” Ruth said in a quiet voice.

  There was a sudden movement from over near the tree and Ruth remembered Howard. She stood up and peered at him, but he was only turning over onto his side. How could she have forgotten him? She was amazed at herself.

  “But what about Howard?”

  The rat stared at the prone figure. “What about him?”

  “Well, I can’t just leave him!”

  “Why not? He has to be the most unimpressive specimen I’ve seen in a long time. Where did you pick him up?”

  “Rodney!” she said. “He’s my friend from school!”

  “He’s your friend!” Rodney sighed sarcastically. “Well, we’ve all got friends from school, haven’t we? That doesn’t mean we consider them when we’re making life-and-death decisions!”

  Ruth gave him a hard look. “Well, I came here with him,” she said. “In fact, it was his idea to come. He said you’d turn up, actually.” She thought that might engender a little sympathy for Howard, but she was mistaken.


  “Does it mean you have to go home with him?” The rat sniffed.

  “Maybe not,” she said. “But how will he get home?”

  “He’s got two legs, hasn’t he?” The rat sighed as though it was all too boring. “Okay. I’ll work something out. I’ll make sure he gets home safely.”

  “Well …”

  “You want to go ahead?”

  “Okay. Let’s do it.”

  Rodney sat up straight, suddenly very alert. “Have you thought about what family you’d like?”

  “I’ve thought about nothing else for ages.”

  “Good!” The rat gave her a flashy smile. “So, what would you like?”

  “For a start, I want my parents to pay some attention to me for a change. I don’t want it to be all about my brothers all the time. And I want my parents to be normal!”

  “Normal, huh?” Rodney was nodding carefully, as though committing all this to memory. “Can you be a little more specific about that?”

  “I don’t want new schemes or bizarre hobbies. I want parents who are happy to work in normal jobs and watch television at night and eat ordinary food … that they cook. I’ve had enough crappy take-out food to last me a lifetime. I want a house that isn’t falling down. In fact, I’d like a really nice house where there is no chance of the tap falling off in your hand when you try to turn it, and where I can have a proper room with nice things in it.” She was getting excited just thinking about it.

  “So.” Rodney hopped down from the rock and began walking back and forth on the grass, frowning hard, his paws clasped behind his back. “You want to be the center of attention. You want a flash house, and you want your parents to be normal?”

  “Yes.”

  “It might be difficult getting the normal part right.”

  “Really?” Ruth was surprised. “I thought that would be the easy part.”

  “Normal is very close to boring on the scale I work with.” Rodney scratched his head. “But we can try.”

  Ruth had a sudden flash from the previous week of her mother standing in the middle of the street with her arms held out. Come on, Ruthie, Mrs. Craze had called, come and welcome the rain! Ruth had seen at least three neighbors peering through their windows watching her.

  “Boring is absolutely fine with me!” she said grimly.

  “Okay, is that everything?” he asked.

  Ruth closed her eyes and tried to think.

  “I’d like some friends again,” she said in a small voice. “I mean girlfriends. Howard is good, but he’s … sort of not who I want to hang out with all the time.”

  “Fair enough,” Rodney said thoughtfully. “I’ll do my best.”

  She was sitting cross-legged on the ground under the bridge. The rat was standing on a nearby log looking down at her.

  “Yes.” Ruth tried not to sound nervous. “I’m ready.”

  “Okay. Let’s go!” Rodney closed his eyes. “Remember—up some steps and through a red door and you’ll be there.”

  Ruth nodded and closed her eyes.

  Rodney began a high-pitched hum, which changed after a minute into a low, thundery one.

  Ruth began to feel slightly faint. The humming went on and on with nothing at all happening. She snuck a quick glance at the rat from under her lashes. Was he serious? Rodney was now raising both tiny arms and circling his paws. He suddenly let out a high-pitched squeak and brought them down.

  A rush of air hit Ruth’s eardrums. This was followed by a mighty roar that got louder and louder. Then it stopped abruptly.

  All was quiet; the color and light began to shimmer and dim and then faded away into heavy blackness.

  Even though her eyes were open, Ruth could see nothing. The blackness felt almost syrupy, as though she might be sitting in a pool of molasses. Was she blind?

  Ever so gradually, light began to leak in, almost imperceptibly. Ruth blinked hard a few times, trying to make it happen more quickly, but it remained a slow trickle. Until at last she could see!

  She was in a gloomy hallway, standing at the bottom of a long flight of old wooden stairs. There were no banisters and the stairs looked rickety and unsafe, but at the very top, only just visible, was a shiny red door.

  Ruth looked around. There was no way out of this damp, horrible place except upward. Too late to back out now. She was going to have to take the risk. One step at a time, she told herself, and don’t look back.

  Up she went, the stairs swaying and rocking beneath her. She thought she might fall at any moment. Don’t look down.

  At last she reached the top. Even though she was on quite a flat little landing, she still didn’t dare to look down, but reached for the brass handle of the red door, praying with all her might that it would open and let her through. When it did just that, she breathed a sigh of relief.

  • • •

  It was summertime, bright and warm and wonderful with a clear blue sky above. What a relief! Ruth looked around. She was standing on the edge of a big heart-shaped pool. The red door she had just come through was nowhere to be seen.

  The water in the pool was sparkling in the brilliant sunlight. She looked down and saw with real pleasure that she was wearing a bright red bathing suit—the exact same red bathing suit, in fact, that she’d wanted last Christmas and didn’t get!

  So where was she? And why did it feel so familiar? Had she been here before?

  When she finally figured it out, she had to laugh with amazement. She was in … her very own backyard, only everything was totally different. With all the scraggy bushes and piles of old timber and disused furniture gone, it was actually really big. No more rotting posts holding up the veranda. No peeling weatherboards. No football cleats and bikes and discarded backpacks lying about, either.

  In fact, everything was clean and neat and perfect, and there was no rubbish anywhere. Not one thing was out of place. The house itself had been painted a nice bright white with deep red trim. The big backyard was as neat as a pin, surrounded on all sides by a very high, green, perfectly clipped hedge. The old fruit trees down near the back fence had gone. There were two long, perfectly manicured flower beds with a little path lined with rosebushes in the middle. It led down to the back gate. The huge shed full to bursting with all her father’s bizarre inventions and her mother’s pottery studio had disappeared. In its place was a cute gazebo with towels and rubber pool toys hanging neatly on hooks.

  Ruth’s heart rate quickened with excitement and pleasure. Everything was so neat and ordered … it was all too much. Almost.

  “Ruthie!” A voice sounding just like her mother’s, only softer and sweeter, came to her gently on the breeze.

  Ruth peered around but couldn’t see anyone. She walked around the pool, hoping like crazy it wasn’t all going to fade away any minute. What if it was just a dream? How disappointed she would be if she woke up suddenly and she was back in her normal house! But the bricks beneath her feet were as hard as any bricks, and when she reached out to touch a rosebush, the leaves were shiny and thick. She bent to smell one of the blooms and smiled with delight, because the smell was heavy and strong. One of the thorns on the stem gave her finger a tiny prick, and when Ruth brought it up to her mouth, her blood tasted exactly the same too. She knew then that it wasn’t all going to disappear.

  “Mum?” she called tentatively.

  “Over here, sweetie!”

  A strange woman was coming around the side of the house with a watering can. The woman smiled and Ruth saw that it was her mother but that she … looked totally different. This mother was wearing makeup and high-heeled sandals, and her long gray hair had been cut off and colored with blond streaks. She was dressed in bright green three-quarter pants and a striped T-shirt, and she’d lost a lot of weight.

  “Nice little snooze?” her new mother called brightly. “I’m going to fix lunch soon.”

  Ruth nodded and smiled back shyly. Something else was different about her mother. It wasn’t just the new clothes and makeup,
but Ruth couldn’t work out what it was. Not that it really mattered too much, because this woman looked so wonderful compared to her old mother.

  “Why don’t I fix your hair so you can have a swim before lunch?” The new mother was walking over with a big smile plastered over her face. She reached Ruth and turned her around by the shoulders.

  “My gorgeous girl,” she murmured. “Such lovely hair.”

  Ruth tried not to feel awkward as her mother ran her fingers through her hair, eventually pulling it back into a ponytail, but … it did feel a bit weird. In fact, it took all of Ruth’s willpower not to cringe when she felt sweet-smelling, warm breath on her neck. Was this really her mother?

  Back in her old life, Ruth’s mother hadn’t done her hair in years, and she never called her gorgeous girl. Still … it might be something she could get used to!

  “Think I’ll have a swim now,” she stammered, pulling away.

  “That’s a good idea.” Mrs. Craze pulled Ruth back briefly and kissed her on the nose. “Then we can have lunch, okay, sweetie?”

  “Okay.”

  “Enjoy!” Her new mother laughed gaily.

  Ruth dived straight into the pool and plowed up and down for a while. It was quite a big pool and it took a bit of time to get from one end to the other. She swam a few laps and then began to swim around in circles. She knew she probably looked like a demented shark, but she really needed to release some energy and take it all in.

  “How is it?”

  Ruth looked over, alarmed to see that her mother was standing on the edge watching her swim, still with that same big, wide smile all over her face. When she caught Ruth’s eye, she gave a fluttery wave with one hand—the long, bright nails flickered like lollipops in the sunshine. Back in her old life, her mother’s hands were brown and worn and the nails were bitten right down.

  “You need lessons, sweetie. Your style is all off.”

  “I know.” Ruth turned onto her back self-consciously and floated with arms out wide, looking up at the blue sky for as long as she could. When she risked another glance, she saw with relief that her mother had moved inside. Through the large glass window she could see her moving around in the kitchen. Ruth was hungry, but she continued to tread water, trying to calm down and get used to the big change.