by Virna DePaul
I groaned. How come it was always the injured party who had to be the adult and be professional? First Logan had challenged me to have dinner with him and I’d given in. Now Tina was throwing down the gauntlet. Obviously fate was trying to tell me something.
“This is business, Shelby. And as your superior, I’m telling you that Logan Starks has been waiting out there long enough.”
My pencil snapped between my fingers. “Fine.” Maybe this was some sort of cosmic test. If I could face Logan and be a professional, maybe I’d pass the test and get to move on with my life.
I stomped out of my office and right up to Logan who stood at the receptionist desk. By Janice’s rapt expression, he’d probably been flirting with her. As if I wasn’t annoyed enough already. I wanted to jab a finger into his chest. Instead, I smiled. “I understand you need help finding a house?”
Slowly, the corners of his mouth curled up. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
My stomach flipped and my eyes widened. While I was playing things professionally, his voice practically oozed sex. Handling him was like playing chess. I’d have to get better at anticipating his moves.
I spun on my heel and stormed back into my office. Of course, he was right behind me. By the time he’d taken a seat, I’d regained my composure. I typed my ID and password and logged into the site to search for houses. “What are you looking for specifically? Let’s start with the area.”
“Right down to business, huh?”
“Well, yes,” I said, batting my eyelashes. “Unless you have another agenda. In that case, please feel free to clue me in.”
“I told you my agenda last night, Shelby. I want you back.”
“That’s not going to happen. Now, if you really want a house, I can—”
“I cheated on you.”
The blunt words made me flinch.
“Sort of,” he said softly.
“Sort of?” I choked out. How does one “sort of” cheat on someone else?
He stared at a paper clip as he reshaped it. “That’s why I broke up with you. It wasn’t because I didn’t love you.”
On the outside, I didn’t move a muscle. But inside, my lungs wouldn’t work, wouldn’t inflate. So this was why he was here. To clear his conscience. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I felt suffocated.
“I… didn’t sleep with her. She lived close by so we hung out a few times. I was still trying to work through the whole divorce thing. And my dad wasn’t doing so good. One day, the stress of the situation got to me. She was there and we ended up kissing.” His brows furrowed as he studied me. “I should have told you what was going on.” His gaze fell to the broken pencil. “But I thought it would be easier for you if you didn’t have to deal with… it.”
It? “Lots of people deal with divorce, Logan. It’s not an excuse to cheat.”
“It wasn’t just the divorce. My dad—”
“I don’t care about your dad!” I shouted before slapping a hand over my mouth. Obviously, being professional was going to be a lot harder than I’d thought.
When he didn’t say anything else, I said, “Where do you want to live? In the heart of Sacramento or do you prefer a suburb?”
He looked frustrated. Like he wanted to keep talking about the past. I shook my head, giving him a silent message. You go there, and we’re though.
Logan sighed. “A ten mile radius of my sister’s house would be good.”
Okay. Message received. It was a start.
“Square footage?” I tapped the keyboard, not bothering to glance at him.
“Uh… about the size of Kristin’s house, I guess. Since it’s just me.”
“Two thousand square feet is small for a man of your celebrity status. What will Vivienne Martin say when she tears herself away from Hollywood?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer. “Pool or spa?”
“Either way,” he answered.
“Any preference on year built or lot size?”
“No.”
“Price range and down payment?”
“No limit. Cash.”
My greedy little heart went cha-ching. Then I remembered he had no intention of buying a house. His visit was a ruse and he was just wasting my time. I clicked search and waited for the real estate profiles to appear. “One story or two?”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”
“You sure it’ll be big enough? Don’t you want a home theater, a gym and five guest bedrooms for all your women and parties?” I knew I was being bitchy but I didn’t care. I resented Logan for coming back into my life and bringing all my memories to the surface. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d only remembered the bad, but the good times were also flitting through my head, reminding me how I’d felt about him when we were in love. To top it all off, he’d involved Tina, charmed her until my arm got twisted into doing what he wanted.
Logan looked to the ceiling as if God could help him. “Shelby, can you give it a rest?”
“Why don’t you take your own advice, Logan, and go back to Hollywood,” I said quietly.
“I could. But I’m not going to.” He leaned forward. “Because I’m still in love with you. And whether you admit it or not, you’re still in love with me.”
“Ha!” I forced myself to laugh. “You’ve had groupies fawning over you for too long.”
“Long enough to know I don’t want them. I want you. Remember the night I gave you that ring?” Logan said. “I’d been waiting for just the right moment to give it to you. When my parents told me I’d be living with my dad in LA, I knew it had to be then. Because I didn’t want you to think, even for a second that it was the end. I wanted you to wait for me.”
How could I forget? I’d memorized the words the second they’d been formed.
“I love you, Shelby,” he had said. We were sitting on the front porch steps, curled up against the cold and his arm around my shoulders. “When I think about my future, whether I become a famous writer or a stay-at-home dad taking care of our kids so you can go off and conquer the world, it’s always you and me. I can’t picture my life without you. We may be living in different cities for a while, but we’ll still be together.”
I had leaned in and laid my head on his shoulder. He’d pressed me closer. Then I stood and took his hand. We snuck down the hallway and into my room.
A few soft words were all it took to fall into bed with him. I inwardly scoffed at my naivety so long ago.
I took a deep breath to ease the tension in my shoulders, returning my gaze to the computer monitor and the here and now. Obviously, my life would be so much easier if I told Logan to take a hike. But I knew he wouldn’t go away. Maybe he was serious about buying a house. If he didn’t work with me, then he’d work with another agent so he’d be around all the time anyway. If he ended up working with Emma or Maddie, I’d have to listen to them gush over Logan. I’d be even more distracted and I probably wouldn’t be able to get my work done anyway.
No, I’d help him find his house, take my commission then cut ties, with a side benefit of proving to myself that I wasn’t susceptible to him. “I had a crush on you as a girl, Logan. I’m over it. Let’s move on. Are you serious about buying a house or not?”
“You loved me back then, Shelby. Real love, not a school girl crush,” Logan said.
“So you say,” I said, making eye contact with him for only a moment before deliberately shifting to my computer. He was wrong if he thought those old feelings meant anything now. I’d never let myself love him that way again and open myself up to the vulnerability, the pain. “Did you want to look at houses right away or will I have the opportunity to do something productive today?”
He cursed softly and ran his hands through his hair. Then he clapped his hands together, making me jump. “Okay, we’ll play this your way. Let’s go shopping. We can make a day of it. Lunch is on me.” He smiled but it looked forced, like he’d gotten the hint. I could only hope.
He signed the paperwork ma
king me his agent — no way would I put in the hours only to have him dump me as an agent too — and for the next half hour, we sorted through profiles and I printed out the more promising ones.
“We can call and make appointments while we’re out.” I rose and slung my purse over my shoulder.
“I never stopped loving you,” he said as we both got to the door.
Liar. I whirled around and glared. “I was seventeen and it’s been nine years. We’ve both grown up. I’m not the same stupid kid and I won’t be so gullible this time.” Why did he keep drawing me into these conversations? “So far, Logan, you’re all talk and no action. The story of your life. No follow-through.” I tried to get past him but he blocked the door. I backed up when I noticed his eyes ablaze, thinking maybe I’d pushed him too far.
As if I were his prey, he caged me against the wall with his arms. I pressed my back into cold plaster so I wouldn’t feel his thighs brushing mine. He only moved closer, a breath away, the friction of our bodies sending an inferno through me. Oh, yes, that had definitely been missing in my life.
“You want me to follow through, I’m ready right now,” he growled softly.
Me too. But Logan was the last guy I’d go there with. Although it wouldn’t exactly be a hardship re-enacting certain moments with someone that gorgeous, deep down I was still bruised by his past rejection.
But I couldn’t deny I was tempted.
Yes, he’d go back to Hollywood soon and would be out of my life again. None of my other relationships had lasted either. If I was doomed to a life of loneliness, it almost seemed justifiable to take happiness where I could find it, even if only temporarily.
Logan inched toward me, his lips at my temple. My pulse spiked as he sucked my earlobe between his lips and I shuddered.
“I knew you still loved me,” he whispered in my ear.
His words slapped me back to reality. A temporary fling with him would only bring me a lifetime of more pain. No. Way. “Oh, honey, you’re confusing love with lust.” I patted his cheek a little harder than necessary and pushed on his chest. “A guy like you should know better. Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.” I sailed past him knowing I’d thrown him a nice curve.
I’d just taken his bishop. Score one point for me.
***
We picked a restaurant near some of the houses that caught Logan’s interest. It was definitely one of the nicer restaurants around. If the meal were on me, I’d have picked some place with reasonable prices. I ordered a salad even though getting something expensive would have been more satisfying. No point in saving Logan’s money. But the priciest thing on the menu, while undoubtedly rich in flavor, would also be rich in calories. If I gave into that temptation, once Logan left again, all I’d have to show for his visit would be a fat ass.
“This is nice. We should do this more, spend time together.”
“I’d rather not.” Head down and paper in hand, I pretended to be fascinated by one of the house profiles.
“If you want to limit our relationship, like you keep hinting at, hanging out with me shouldn’t be a problem for you, if that’s what you really want. Unless you’re afraid you’re going to fall in love with me again.”
Sounded like a challenge. “Let me get this straight. You’re trying to get me to hang out with you to prove I don’t want to hang out with you?” I snorted. “I don’t want to be around a pedophile either but I’m not going to do it just to prove the point.”
He let out a quick laugh. “I’m just saying that if you really don’t love me, helping me buy a house should be simple enough. But you’re making this about as pleasant as drowning. It’s not personal. Right?” He leaned closer, his voice lowering to a whisper. “Seems very personal to me.”
He had that right. But explaining to him how personal it had been when he dumped me would only show how much I had loved him. It would also reveal how hard I had to work to keep those feelings in past tense. “You and I have entered into a business contract. You’re the one who keeps making it personal.” Hoping to cut off further conversation, I opened my phone and began setting up appointments until our food appeared.
***
“What do you think? It’s nice, huh?” Logan opened a closet then closed it. “Lots of storage space.”
The house probably looked even better to him after the last two stinkers we saw. But was he serious about buying? Even if he had no intention of ever living in Sacramento again, he could always rent it out. It’s not as if a seven figure book advance made it difficult to buy one small house. If nothing else, it was a tax write-off. He’d probably go through with it just to prove me wrong and I’d make the commission. If he tried to see me again, I’d say no to his advances. And continue to say no. Not because I didn’t want to give him a second chance, I realized, but because deep down, despite my confident exterior and quick mouth, I was an insecure mess when it came to him.
Shutting him out completely would be less painful than letting him in, only to have him realize yet again that I wasn’t that exciting after all. When he eventually left me, I wanted him to know he hadn’t won this time. “Hardwood floors, crown molding, high ceilings. Pretty.”
“Yeah.” Logan stared out at the yard. “I think you’re right though. Something a little bigger would be better. One day I might want a family and we’d need room for the kids.”
We? My insides twisted. He meant his future wife, of course, whoever she may be. Him thinking of me when he said that was wishful thinking on my part. I averted my face and pretended to examine the double paned window so he wouldn’t see my eyes mist. I really needed to pull it together. Even if Logan wanted to settle down, he’d never do it with me. He’d already proven that once.
We viewed a couple more houses then I dropped him off at his car in the parking lot of my office. Being with Logan and keeping up the barrier had drained me. I just wanted to go home.
That evening, I ran six miles which was a little more than usual. But even that didn’t burn off the frustration. Why did he have to come back and disturb my peaceful world? I could only hope he found a house quickly.
To wind down, I walked the last block. One thing I hated about working out was how you seemed to sweat more after you stopped running. Annoying. My pants clung to my ass and sweat trickled between my breasts. My breathing slowed and I glanced at my house. Someone was taking up space on my front porch steps. Someone male. Someone with dark hair and impossibly beautiful.
CHAPTER FOUR
Logan looked up and smiled. “Hey.”
My heart betrayed me by skipping a beat. “Please tell me you’re not stalking me.”
His brows lowered for only an instant before he smiled. “I just stopped by to give you something.”
“Is it money?” Better for him to think I’m greedy than bitter from unrequited love. Maybe he’d believe it enough and stop trying to lure me in.
“No, but it might bring money in one day. To me anyway.” He held out a two-inch bundle of papers.
My brows rose and I put my hands on my hips.
“It’s uh… it’s my latest manuscript.”
Now that was a surprise. “And you’re giving it to me why?”
“Because every time I try to talk to you about anything other than houses, you shut me down. So… just read it. Maybe you’ll get a new perspective.”
That meant the manuscript was about our past. No thanks. “I’m not much of a reader. Listen, I still have calls to make. I’ll text you later when I know what time our first appointment is tomorrow.” Please leave before I throw myself at you. I held my arms stiff at my sides so I wouldn’t reach out to him.
“Uh, sure.” He left the steps and walked the narrow concrete path to his waiting black Jaguar.
Good. I didn’t want him inside my house. Too cozy. Too tempting. Not one to take chances, I waited until he drove away to go inside. As I stepped up onto the porch, I spied the bound stack of paper. Damn, he’d left the manuscript. I’d been so intent o
n keeping my distance and getting him to leave that I hadn’t noticed he’d laid it down.
Snatching it, I went inside and slipped it under the sofa.
***
My heart stuttered when I got Logan’s text the next day.
I’ll pick you up at 9.
No way. If we drove in Logan’s car, I’d be trapped at his mercy all day. Who knew where he’d take me against my will? My hands raced across the keyboard of my cell. Either we drive both cars house shopping or just my car. Those r your only 2 choices.
Fine. I’ll b ready & waiting @ my house.
Too bitchy. From now on, I’d play it a little cooler, act indifferent. Maybe then he’d go away. Preferably before I broke down and jumped him.
At precisely nine, I cruised into a middle class neighborhood and rolled into the driveway of your average house. Why wasn’t he at a hotel with room service or at least a richer neighborhood?
I’d foolishly hoped he’d be waiting outside so I wouldn’t have to come in. Grinding my teeth, I parked behind his Jag and knocked on the front door. And waited. I knocked again.
The door swung open to reveal Logan, a big fluffy green towel wrapped around his hips and little drops of water glistening over his bare chest. He’d filled out. And then some. He looked like he worked hard at the gym but liked a good meal too, the end result being the perfect combination of bulk and definition.
We definitely weren’t in high school any more.
He motioned for me to come inside. “My agent called and wanted to go over some revisions before we submit a project to my editor. Sorry. I’ll just be a couple more minutes.” He disappeared, leaving the door open, obviously expecting me to follow.
Shit.
I crept past the door and shut it, my eyes wandering to the entryway and beyond into the startlingly clean living room. Either he had a regular maid or he’d just moved in that morning. A maid was more likely.
Water rushed through the pipes as he ran it in the bathroom, obscuring any sounds I made. I took the opportunity to explore the house and see how Logan lived. The master bedroom loomed ahead and I crept toward it. A button down shirt covered the back of a chair and a pair of jeans was strewn across an unmade bed. The indented pillow and rumpled sheets hinted that someone had recently slept there. A half full glass of water, a wallet and car keys lay on the dresser. I tiptoed closer.