Michael brought the rig to a halt. “Lena, we’d like a word with you.”
This couldn’t be good news, not if the meeting was supposed to be tonight and they’d all come here now. While they got out of the carriage, she closed the school door. They could say whatever they came here for without her sitting in front of them like a frightened field mouse trapped by a cat.
She walked down the three steps and halfway to the rig and waited.
Michael stared behind the school at the pasture where his daughter had died six months ago. “Because of things we learned Saturday and after talking with folks today, we’ve canceled the meeting tonight. We think it best to say what needs to be said now. I see no need in having a meeting where Grey will try to defend your actions. He’s done that for too many years, and the two of you should be ashamed.”
Offense burned through her, and tears clouded her vision. “Do you dare hint that Grey and I had some sort of inappropriate relationship—that he was not faithful to Elsie nor I to God? That isn’t true. Not even a flirtatious smile or a wink passed between us. He had no interest in anyone but your daughter. And I have never had an interest in someone God has given to another.”
Michael stared at her for several moments. “Your reaction gives me hope.”
“And I respectfully have grave concerns over yours.”
Michael’s face turned red. “You are far too opinionated, Lena Kauffman.”
Lena’s palms sweated, and her heart palpitated as she dared speak so boldly. “You’ve let a liar deceive you.”
“Dwayne hasn’t deceived us concerning your disobedience to the board’s instructions. You overstepped your boundary and disobeyed our ruling.” He held out an envelope. “You are dismissed from your position starting today.”
His words struck her with the force of a roof collapsing, and her legs threatened to give way. “What?” She looked from one man to the next. “But I … I haven’t sat before my accusers or been given a chance to speak.”
“Mollie Bender will fill in for the rest of this year, and we’ll find a new teacher for next year.”
They’d chosen Dwayne and Peter’s Mamm to fill in for her? The unfairness of it shook her, and she fought against tears. Unwilling to let them see even mist in her eyes, she gritted her teeth and gained control over her tear ducts. “Fine.” Her heart pounding until she felt sick, she turned her back to them and began to walk off.
“You did this, Lena,” Jake called after her. “In months to come, perhaps years, you will see that this is not our doing but yours.”
The gravel under her feet crunched as she spun around and took several steps toward them. “And I’d do it again. Peter asked for help. He’s old enough to graduate school in three weeks, old enough to go to work full-time, and old enough to begin the freedoms of his rumschpringe, where he’ll dabble in the world’s ways, but he’s not old enough to know if he needs to talk to someone outside of our faith?”
Michael’s face showed confusion as he listened to her reasoning. “That issue aside, you disobeyed us. We are your authority. We decide what’s best.”
“Or you refuse to hear reason and Dwayne decided for you.”
“You dare stand here and mock us?”
“I dare to question you. There should have been a meeting where I could have answered the charges against me and lodged my own against Dwayne.”
Michael studied the field, and she thought he might give in to her. The hurt and confusion on his face reminded her of the constant pain that tore at him. “We’ve made our decision, and it is final.”
As she tried to absorb the loss, her mind swam with warm memories of the battles fought and won inside that classroom—just as battles were fought and won on every farm and in every home. Good seed was sown out of love and an abundant harvest prayed for, but even among the Amish the lines of right and wrong were not always clear. Should she have done nothing after Elsie’s death and let the seeds of shock, grief, and guilt grow a crop unhindered and unchecked?
She didn’t know, and she might not ever know. “I’ll empty my desk.”
After taking the few remaining gloves and sweaters out of the lost-and-found box, she set the container beside her desk. Word of her dismissal would spread quickly. By nightfall everyone would know she’d been released as the teacher. They’d think her a fool, if they didn’t already. A silly, ugly, rebellious fool.
What most people thought was one thing, but knowing how Grey felt about her made it unbearable.
The smell of wood stain and the sounds of sawing and hammering inside the cabinetry shop were the most constant things in Grey’s life. Since he’d been a teen, he’d worked here, first for Ephraim’s Daed and then for Ephraim. He didn’t seem to be much good at creating anything of substance outside of work, but inside these walls he built fine, sturdy items that would serve a purpose long after he’d left this earth.
When most of the young men had been out drinking and carousing, he’d stayed faithful to the Amish ways and honed his skills as a craftsman. He’d never been a girl chaser. It never interested him. So how was he now caught in forbidden circumstances and silently living outside the Old Ways?
He couldn’t stop thinking about Lennie. The hurt she was experiencing tormented him. He’d spent most of yesterday writing her a letter. It seemed the only way to reach her without causing trouble. There was a chance it wouldn’t get to her, but only a small one. Since her teen years, she was the one who took the mail inside most days. As far as he knew, she still did. Even if her Daed found the letter, Grey believed he’d give it to her. He might not approve, but Israel treated Lennie as a respected adult. He’d always let her make up her own mind, just like allowing her to go to public school.
“Grey,” Ephraim called to him.
Michael, Jake, and Enos stood in the doorway of the shop. He went to them. If Cara wasn’t in the office visiting Ephraim, he would have taken the men in there for privacy.
“We came to tell you there’s not a school board meeting tonight,” Jake said. “We decided it’s best for everyone if you are not put in a situation where you feel the need to defend Lena.”
“Am I being replaced?”
Jake shook his head. “No, but we met with Lena already … and we let her go.”
“You what?”
“We voted, and we handled it, Grey,” Michael said. “It didn’t matter what was said at the meeting. She was on probation before she brought a psychologist into the school after Elsie died. We’d already told her she wouldn’t be hired again for next year, and we’d hoped she could finish out the year. We’d—”
“Wait.” Grey held up his hand. “You had reasons before this Saturday to let her know you wouldn’t hire her again for next year? Why? And why wasn’t I told?”
“You know that she was already on probation.”
“I know she was the Detweilers’ scapegoat, and all of you allowed it. That boy drove a rig back and forth to school half of that year. She let him go midday, and he was surely daydreaming while Lena’s horse instinctively headed for her place. That accident caused no more than bumps and bruises. It certainly was not her fault. And what about his Mamm’s fault for sending those four children to school time and time again without a lunch?”
“You defend her too heartily and too loudly,” Enos said.
Michael straightened his straw hat. “Aside from the issue with the Detweilers, she was allowing more and more things to take place that should not have. The board had not approved the counselor who spoke to the class. And Elmer broke his arm while she was nowhere around. The parents had lost confidence in her, but we were going to let her finish the year. However, sneaking Peter in to see a counselor behind our backs and his parents’ was too much. His parents thought he was staying after school to study. We didn’t need your vote to have enough to dismiss her. We’d warned her not to allow that counselor into the school again, so she had the woman meet with Peter at her home right after school.”
“She had a right to—”
“No,” Michael interrupted. “She had a right to obey us, and she didn’t. And she showed us no sign of remorse for her actions. I do not regret our decision. Mollie Bender will fill in until school is over.”
“Mollie? Lena is let go without a hearing, based on trouble Dwayne stirred, and then you hire his Mamm?”
“Jake, Enos, will you wait for me in the carriage?” Michael asked and then waited until they were out of earshot. “I don’t like what I see in you lately,” he said softly. “You stand up for her as heartily as she does for you. You need to mind your step.”
“I have minded my step. And I grow weary of it, Michael.”
Without another word Michael left. Grey began pacing, trying to think what to do and how to do it. He didn’t know exactly, but he had to see Lennie. Through the plate glass of the office, he saw Ephraim and Cara chatting.
He crossed the large room, tapped on the door, and went in. “They came to tell me that they’ve fired Lena. I’ve got to see her, but that could make everything worse.”
Cara frowned. “Why would that make it worse for her?”
“It’s like Israel said. It’s too soon for me to be standing on the porch at any woman’s house.”
“You and Lena?” Lines creased Ephraim’s face as Grey’s words sank in.
“I thought you knew that already,” Cara said. “You were there on Saturday when Israel wouldn’t let Grey see Lena.”
Ephraim studied her for a moment. “Ya, but I just thought Lena was too upset to see anyone because Grey had tried to get other men to date. Oh, now I see what’s going on.” He studied Grey for a minute. “I hope it works out for you two.”
Grey nodded, glad Ephraim had no judgment against him—not that he had expected it.
Cara tapped her fingers on the arms of her chair. “I still don’t get why Grey going to see her is a problem.”
Ephraim quickly explained the ways of the Amish concerning remarriage.
Cara tucked a wisp of rogue hair under her prayer Kapp. “So it’s unacceptable to become involved with someone any sooner than a year. Two years are appreciated?”
“Ya.”
“Isn’t there a verse somewhere in the New Testament that says once a spouse dies, the one left behind is free to remarry?” Cara asked.
“Free to, yes,” Ephraim added. “But it’s wisdom to wait, and it’s the Amish way to push for that. Waiting honors the life of the person who died. It shows inner character and strength to remain alone, and it gives everyone who is grieving time to adjust to that loss before new people are brought into their lives as a family member.”
“Everything is so messed up.” Grey began to pace again. “And I don’t know that I’m in a position to fix anything. I can’t undo what the board has done, but she thinks I don’t care. She thinks that birthmark keeps her from being beautiful and that I was pretending to care out of pity. How can she not know she’s gorgeous?”
“Very, very easily.” Cara cut a piece of electrical tape off its roll and put it across Grey’s cheek, above his beard. “Wear that for a few weeks, or better yet let’s fill in that space with a Sharpie. If you were a kid, everyone would look at that first and then at you. Half of them would make some sort of remark, make up a nickname, and never once let you forget it’s there. And men can get away with such a mark much easier than a woman.”
“There’s no way that’s kept men from courting her.”
Cara played with the strings to her prayer Kapp. “Sometimes our heaviest baggage isn’t who we are. It’s who we think we are. And once we believe it, we unknowingly shape our lives after that belief.”
Her words reached inside and yanked at his heart. Grey continued to help Lennie believe that lie by hiding behind the traditions of man. He wanted to protect her, but maybe all he was doing was making it easy for her to hold on to the lies she believed—just like he’d made it easy for Elsie to hold on to her lies. If he’d been willing to let everyone in the community think whatever he or she wanted to about their marriage, he’d have gotten help for them. He hadn’t protected Elsie, not really.
His days of hiding and helping others hide were over.
“I’ve got to go.”
His mind ran in a dozen directions as he drove his rig to Lennie’s. He hurried up the steps and knocked. Nicky barked, but no one answered the door. She didn’t appear to be home. He went to her Daed’s shop. No one was there either. It was possible she had gone to Allen’s, especially with her being upset. He climbed into his buggy, wondering what fireworks his presence at Allen’s would cause.
After pulling into Allen’s driveway, Grey hurried to the door and knocked.
Emily opened the door, took him by the hand, and squeezed it. “Grey, kumm.”
“Is Lennie here?”
Allen walked into the room and stared at him in disbelief. “I cannot believe you’re here.”
Even as Grey stood inside Allen’s home, memories of Lennie filled him—her voice, her sense of humor, her sincerity, determination, and stubbornness. One look into her eyes redefined love to him.
“I know how this must sound to you. And I understand why you feel like you do, but I’m in love with your sister.”
“In love with her?” Allen pointed to the door, inviting Grey to leave. “This conversation is not taking place.”
“I don’t blame you for believing part of the lies Dwayne told. Too many people are, including Lennie. I didn’t try to pawn her off. I knew she felt a little lonely and wasn’t seeing anyone, so I mentioned to Christian that he could bid on her picnic basket at the auction.”
“Christian moved here less than five weeks ago, so somewhere between then and now, you’ve fallen madly in love with my sister, and I’m supposed to trust your feelings on that matter. You’re not in love with my sister. You’re using her to feel less lonely. And I won’t stand for it.”
“Sometimes,” Emily interjected, “when a spouse dies, the loved one left behind feels the connection of marriage for the rest of their life. Some marriages do not have that connection even when both are alive.”
“What?” Allen’s face twisted with disapproval.
Emily held up her index finger and left the room.
The air itself seemed to condemn Grey as Allen’s eyes held complete disappointment. But as unreasonable as Allen could be at times, he respected his wife’s opinion. Well, he usually did. Grey hoped this was one of those times.
Emily walked back into the room carrying a cracked and chipped teacup and saucer. “Elsie was my secret sister for sharing gifts one year. It wasn’t like her to participate, but she did one time about three years ago. When I opened the gift and it was broken, she apologized and left the room. You can imagine how shaken someone like Elsie was to give a broken gift. I followed her, and through her tears she shared a few fragmented sentences, saying it hadn’t been broken when she’d wrapped it, but it matched everything else she touched, including her marriage. She didn’t say much else, but I was able to see into her world and Grey’s.” Emily closed her eyes. “Grey has been grieving the death of his marriage for many years.”
Allen became completely still.
Emily placed the cup in her husband’s hand. “He’s been alone for a long time, husband. I believe he loves your sister—a good, solid love you can trust. Can you not look at those two and know in your heart they are right for each other?”
Allen studied the cup as if trying to see what Emily had seen. “I … I want you to stay away from my sister.”
“I intend to do everything I can to let her know I love her. I don’t care if everyone else stands against us, but you and I have been close friends our whole lives, and I know you love her like few brothers love a sibling.”
“What you’re doing is inexcusable. You used my home to get close to her. If what Emily says is true, then what I see is a man who knows how to hide who he really is from everyone, including his closest friend.” Allen shoo
k his head. “You were married to someone else yesterday. And today my sister is broken! You did this, and you want to call that love? If you don’t leave her alone, our friendship is over!”
Allen’s words were no idle threat.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Grey left.
Thirty-Four
Dwayne stood in his parents’ home trying not to laugh as he listened to the good news. His heart thudded like a drum in his ears, pounding out the rhythm of hatred. But his genius had again proved itself. Lena was fired.
“They let her go because of me?” Peter asked.
“No, because she’s an idiot,” Dwayne added.
“Why do you have to hate everybody? What’s she ever done to you?” Peter’s whine grated on Dwayne’s nerves.
“That’s enough, boys,” Mamm said. “I’ll be the teacher for the rest of the year.”
“From one idiot teacher to another,” Dwayne mumbled.
“What did you say?” Mamm asked.
“If I’d wanted you to hear me, you would have. So where is she now?”
His Mamm shrugged. “Jake said she was at the school, cleaning out her desk.”
And Dwayne knew she had walked to school. “I got better things to do than stand around talking about Lena.”
He went to his room and eased the Hot-Shot from the top shelf in his closet. He’d need this.
His bedroom door swung open, and Peter’s confused, almost blank face stared at him. “You think this is funny, don’t you?”
“I think it’s sad that you’re too stupid to know when you hear good news.”
“Why Lena? You’ve been gunning for her since we got here. Why?”
The Bridge of Peace Page 28