The Complete Mackenzie Collection

by Linda Howard

  That couldn’t all be true, she thought, yet the tales had a ring of truth to them. Then she remembered that Chance was a consummate actor, and bitterness would swamp her again.

  She couldn’t seem to pull herself out of the dismals. She had always been able to laugh, but now she found it difficult to even smile. No matter how she tried to distract herself, the knowledge was always there, engraved on her heart like a curse that robbed her life of joy: Chance didn’t love her. It had all been an act.

  It was as if part of her had died. She felt cold inside, and empty. She tried to hide it, tried to tell herself the depression would go away if she just ignored it and concentrated on getting better, but every day the grayness inside her seemed to spread and deepen.

  The day she was released, the escort finally arrived with a wheelchair and Sunny called a taxi to meet them at the entrance in fifteen minutes. She gingerly lowered herself into the wheelchair, and the escort obligingly placed the small bag containing her few articles of clothing and her backpack on her lap, then balanced the bromeliad on top.

  “I’m sure I have to sign some papers before I’m released,” Sunny said.

  “No, I don’t think so,” the woman said, checking her orders. “According to this, you’re all ready to go. Your husband probably handled it for you.”

  Sunny bit back the urge to snap that she wasn’t married. He hadn’t mentioned it, and in truth she hadn’t given a thought to how she would pay for her hospital care, but now that she thought about it, she realized Chance had indeed handled all of that. Maybe he thought the least he could do was pick up her tab.

  She was surprised he wasn’t here, since he’d been so adamant about being a part of the baby’s life, and persistent in visiting. For all she knew, she thought, he had been called away on some mysterious spy stuff.

  She underestimated him. When the escort rolled her to the doors of the patient discharge area, she saw a familiar dark green Ford Explorer parked under the covered entrance. Chance unfolded his long length from behind the steering wheel and came to meet her.

  “I’ve already called a taxi,” she said, though she knew it was a waste of breath.

  “Tough,” he said succinctly. He took her clothes and the bromeliad and put them in the back of the Explorer, then opened the passenger door.

  Sunny began to inch herself forward in the wheelchair seat, preparatory to standing; she had mastered the art when seated in a regular chair, but a wheelchair was trickier. Chance gave her an exasperated look, then leaned down and scooped her up in his powerful arms, handling her weight with ease as he deposited her in the Explorer.

  “Thank you,” she said politely. She would at least be civil, and his method had been much less painful and time-consuming than hers.

  “You’re welcome.” He buckled the seat belt around her, making certain the straps didn’t rub against the surgical incision, then closed the door and walked around to slide under the steering wheel.

  “I’ve booked a room in a hotel,” she said. “But I don’t know where it is, so I can’t give you directions.”

  “You aren’t going to a hotel,” he growled.

  “I have to go somewhere,” she pointed out. “I’m not able to drive, and I can’t handle negotiating an airport, so a hotel with room service is the only logical solution.”

  “No it isn’t. I’m taking you home with me.”

  “No!” she said violently, everything in her rejecting the idea of spending days in his company.

  His jaw set. “You don’t have a choice,” he said grimly. “You’re going—even if you kick and scream the whole way.”

  It was tempting. Oh, it was tempting. Only the thought of how badly kicking would pull at the incision made her resist the idea.

  The dime didn’t drop until she noticed he was driving to the airport. “Where are we going?”

  He gave her an impatient glance. “I told you. Hell, Sunny, you know I don’t live in Des Moines.”

  “All right, so I know where you don’t live. But I don’t know where you do live.” She couldn’t resist adding, “And even if you had told me, it would probably be a lie.”

  This time his glance was sulfuric. “Wyoming,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m taking you home to Wyoming.”

  She was silent during the flight, speaking only when necessary and then only in monosyllables. Chance studied her when her attention was on the landscape below, his sunglasses hiding his eyes. They had flown around so much during the time they’d been together that it felt natural to once again be in the plane with her, as if they were where they belonged. She had settled in with a minimum of fussing and no complaints, though he knew she had to be exhausted and uncomfortable.

  She looked so frail, as if a good wind would blow her away. There wasn’t any color in her cheeks or lips, and she had dropped a good ten pounds that she didn’t need to lose. The doctor had assured him that she was recovering nicely, right on schedule, and that while her pregnancy was still too new for any test to tell them anything about the baby’s condition, they had taken all precautions and he had every confidence the baby would be fine.

  As thrilled as he was about the baby, Chance was more worried that the pregnancy would sap her strength and slow her recovery. She needed all the resources she could muster now, but nature would ensure that the developing child got what it needed first. The only way he could be confident she was getting what she needed was if he arranged for her to be watched every minute, and coddled and spoiled within an inch of her life. The best place for that was Mackenzie’s Mountain.

  He had called and told them he was bringing Sunny there, of course. He had told them the entire situation, that she was pregnant and he intended to marry her, but that she was still mad as hell at him and hadn’t forgiven him. He had set quite a task for himself, getting back in Sunny’s good graces. But once he had her on the Mountain, he thought, he could take his time wearing her down.

  Mary, typically, was ecstatic. She took it for granted Sunny would forgive him, and since she had been prodding him about getting married and giving her more grandchildren, she probably thought she was getting everything she wanted.

  Chance was going to do everything he could to see that she did, because what she wanted was exactly what he wanted. He’d always sworn he would never get married and have children, but fate had stepped in and arranged things otherwise. The prospect of getting married scared him—no, it terrified the hell out of him, so much so that he hadn’t even broached the subject to Sunny. He didn’t know how to tell her what she needed to know about him, and he didn’t know what she would do when she found out, if she would accept his proposal or tell him to drop dead.

  The only thing that gave him hope was that she’d said she loved him. She hadn’t said it since she found out how he’d set her up, but Sunny wasn’t a woman who loved lightly. If there was a spark of love left in her, if he hadn’t totally extinguished it, he would find a way to fan it to life.

  He landed at the airstrip on Zane’s property, and his heart gave a hard thump when he saw what was waiting for them. Even Sunny’s interest was sparked. She sat up straighter, and for the first time since she’d been shot he saw a hint of that lively interest in her face. “What’s going on?” she asked.

  His spirits lifting, he grinned. “Looks like a welcoming party.”

  The entire Mackenzie clan was gathered by the airstrip. Everyone. Josh and Loren were there from Seattle with their three sons. Mike and Shea and their two boys. Zane and Barrie, each holding one of the twins. And there was Joe, decked out in his Air Force uniform with more rows of fruit salad on it than should be allowed. How he had carved time out of his schedule to come here, Chance didn’t know—but then, Joe could do damn near anything he wanted, since he was the highest ranking military officer in the nation. Caroline, standing beside him and looking positively chic in turquoise capri pants and white sandals—and also looking damn good for her age—had probably had a harder time getting free
. She was one of the top-ranked physicists in the world. Their five sons were with him, and John, the oldest, wasn’t the only one this time who had a girlfriend with him. Maris and Mac stood together; Mac had his arm draped protectively around Maris’s slight frame. And Mom and Dad were in the middle of the whole gang, with Nick perched happily in Wolf’s arms.

  Every last one of them, even the babies, held a balloon.

  “Oh, my,” Sunny murmured. The corners of her pale mouth moved upwards in the first smile he had seen in eight days.

  He cut the motor and got out, then went to the other door and carefully lifted Sunny out. She was so bemused by the gathering that she put her arm around his neck.

  That must have been the signal. Wolf leaned down and set Nick on her feet. She took off toward Chance like a shot, running and skipping and shrieking his name in the usual litany. “UncaDance, UncaDance, UncaDance!” The balloon she was holding bobbed like a mad thing. The whole crowd started forward in her wake.

  In seconds they were surrounded. He tried to introduce everyone to Sunny, but there was too much of a hubbub for him to complete a sentence. His sisters-in-law, bless them, were laughing and chattering as if they had known her for years; the men were flirting; Mary was beaming; and Nick’s piping voice could be heard above everyone. “Dat’s a weally, weally pwetty dwess.” She fingered the silk robe and beamed up at Sunny.

  John leaned down and whispered something in Nick’s ear. “Dress,” she said, emphasizing the r. “Dat’s a weally, weally pwetty dress.”

  Everyone cheered, and Nick glowed.

  Sunny laughed.

  Chance’s heart jumped at the sound. His throat got tight, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second. When he opened them, Mary had taken control.

  “You must be exhausted,” she was saying to Sunny in her sweet, Southern-accented voice. “You don’t have to worry about a thing, dear. I have a bed all ready for you at the house, and you can sleep as long as you want. Chance, carry her along to the car, and be careful with her.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said.

  “Wait!” Nick wailed suddenly. “I fordot de sign!”

  “What sign?” Chance asked, gently shifting Sunny so he could look down at his niece.

  She fished in the pocket of her little red shorts and pulled out a very crumpled piece of paper. She stretched up on her tiptoes to hand it to Sunny. “I did it all by myself,” she said proudly. “Gamma helped.”

  Sunny unfolded the piece of paper.

  “I used a wed cwayon,” Nick informed her. “Because it’s de pwettiest.”

  “It certainly is,” Sunny agreed. She swallowed audibly. Chance looked down to see the paper shaking in her hand.

  The letters were misshapen and wobbly and all different sizes. The little girl must have labored over them for a long time, with Mary’s expert and patient aid, because the words were legible. “‘Welcome home Sunny,”’ Sunny read aloud. Her face began to crumple. “That’s the most beautiful sign I’ve ever seen,” she said, then buried her face against Chance’s neck and burst into tears.

  “Yep,” Michael said. “She’s pregnant, all right.”

  It was difficult to say who fell more in love with whom, Sunny with the Mackenzies, or the Mackenzies with her. Once Chance placed her in the middle of the king-sized bed Mary had made up for her—he didn’t tell her it was his old bedroom—Sunny settled in like a queen holding court. Instead of lying down to sleep, she propped herself up on pillows, and soon all of the women and most of the younger kids were in there, sitting on the bed and on the floor, some even in chairs. The twins were working their way from one side of the bed to the other and back again, clutching the covers for support and babbling away to each other in what Barrie called their “twin talk.” Shea had Benjy down on the floor, tickling him, and every time she stopped he would shriek, “More! More!” Nick sat cross-legged on the bed, her “wed cwayon” in hand as she studiously worked on another sign. Since the first one had been such a resounding success, this one was for Barrie, and she was embellishing it with lopsided stars. Loren, being a doctor, wanted the details of Sunny’s wound and present condition. Caroline was doing an impromptu fashion consultation, brushing Sunny’s hair and swirling it on top of her head, with some very sexy tendrils curling loose on her slender neck. Maris, her dark eyes glowing, was telling Sunny all about her own pregnancy, and Mary was overseeing it all.

  Leaving his family to do what they did best, weave a magic spell of warmth and belonging, Chance walked down to the barn. He felt edgy and worried and a little panicked, and he needed some peace and quiet. When everything quieted down tonight, he had to talk to Sunny. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He prayed desperately that she could forgive him, that what he had to tell her didn’t completely turn her against him, because he loved her so much he wasn’t certain he could live without her. When she had buried her face against him and cried, his heart had almost stopped because she had turned to him instead of away from him.

  She had laughed again. That sound was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard, and it had almost unmanned him. He couldn’t imagine living without being able to hear her laugh.

  He folded his arms across the top of a stall door and rested his head on them. She had to forgive him. She had to.

  “It’s tough, isn’t it?” Wolf said in his deep voice, coming up to stand beside Chance and rest his arms on top of the stall door, too. “Loving a woman. And it’s the best thing in the world.”

  “I never thought it would happen,” Chance said, the words strained. “I was so careful. No marriage, no kids. It was going to end with me. But she blindsided me. I fell for her so fast I didn’t have time to run.”

  Wolf straightened, his black eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, ‘end with you’? Why don’t you want kids? You love them.”

  “Yeah,” Chance said softly. “But they’re Mackenzies.”

  “You’re a Mackenzie.” There was steel in the deep voice.

  Tiredly, Chance rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s the problem. I’m not a real Mackenzie.”

  “Do you want to walk in the house and tell that little woman in there that you’re not her son?” Wolf demanded sharply.

  “Hell, no!” No way would he hurt her like that.

  “You’re my son. In all the ways that matter, you’re mine.”

  The truth of that humbled Chance. He rested his head on his arms again. “I never could understand how you could take me in as easily as you did. You know what kind of life I led. You may not know the details, but you have a good general idea. I wasn’t much more than a wild animal. Mom had no idea, but you did. And you still brought me into your home, trusted me to be around both Mom and Maris—”

  “And that trust was justified, wasn’t it?” Wolf asked.

  “But it might not have been. You had no way of knowing.” Chance paused, looking inward at the darkness inside him. “I killed a man when I was about ten, maybe eleven,” he said flatly. “That’s the wild kid you brought home with you. I stole, I lied, I attacked other kids and beat them up, then took whatever it was they had that I wanted. That’s the kind of person I am. That kid will always live inside me.”

  Wolf gave him a sharp look. “If you had to kill a man when you were ten, I suspect the bastard deserved killing.”

  “Yeah, he deserved it. Kids who live in the street are fair game to perverts like that.” He clenched his hands. “I have to tell Sunny. I can’t ask her to marry me without her knowing what she’ll be getting, what kind of genes I’ll be passing on to her children.” He gave a harsh laugh. “Except I don’t know what kind of genes they are. I don’t know what’s in my background. For all I know my mother was a drugged-out whore and—”

  “Stop right there,” Wolf said, steel in his voice.

  Chance looked up at him, the only father he had ever known, and the man he respected most in the world.

  “I don’t know who gave birth to you,” Wolf said. “But I do know bloo
dlines, son, and you’re a thoroughbred. Do you know what I regret most in my life? Not finding you until you were fourteen. Not feeling your hand holding my finger when you took your first step. Not getting up with you in the night when you were teething, or when you were sick. Not being able to hold you the way you needed holding, the way all kids need holding. By the time we got you I couldn’t do any of that, because you were as skittish as a wild colt. You didn’t like for us to touch you, and I tried to respect that.

  “But one thing you need to know. I’m more proud of you than I’ve ever been of anything in my life, because you’re one of the finest men I’ve ever known, and you had to work a lot harder than most to get to where you are. If I could have had my pick of all the kids in the world to adopt, I still would have chosen you.”

  Chance stared at his father, his eyes wet. Wolf Mackenzie put his arms around his grown son and hugged him close, the way he had wanted to do all these years. “I would have chosen you,” he said again.

  Chance entered the bedroom and quietly closed the door behind him. The crowd had long since dispersed, most to their respective homes, some spending the night here or at Zane’s or Michael’s. Sunny looked tired, but there was a little color in her cheeks.

  “How do you feel?” he asked softly.

  “Exhausted,” she said. She looked away from him. “Better.”

  He sat down beside her on the bed, taking care not to jostle her. “I have some things I need to tell you,” he said.