A Knight of Honor

by Anne Herries

  What would people think of him for leaving his wife at his father’s house? The world would believe that she carried his child and that he deliberately neglected her. Folk must either think him a rogue or her a wanton. In time they would begin to reflect that there must be a reason for Stefan to turn his back on her, and they would point the finger of blame at Elona. She would then be heaped with the shame he had married her to prevent. It was no good. He must find a way of forgiving her, of accepting that she had given herself to another man and blame him for the bastard she carried in her womb.

  If he could not he ought to have refused the marriage, defied his father and left her to her shame. He knew that he must send for her eventually, but not yet. The hurt was too raw, too deep, and he knew not what might happen if he saw her.

  He must bury his lust in work! There were tasks enough, for the manor had been sadly neglected until he purchased it from the King, the last owner having died without issue—as he might if he could not bring himself to forgive Elona.

  Yes, he would send for her, but not until he had conquered this need for her, this longing that was like to drive him mad.

  Six weeks and there had been no word from Stefan! Elona’s heart felt as if it were breaking. Her life was empty despite the kindness of her hostess and Marguerite. Perhaps it might be better to put an end to it? She had only to take the sharp knife she used for her embroidery threads and draw it over her wrists. She had considered it more than once, and yet something inside her clung to life and to hope.

  Tears sheened her eyes as she sat on the little wooden bench in the gardens. Autumn was almost upon them, the summer days fleeing despite the aching need inside her that made each one seem an age. How could she bear to live, knowing that she might never see Stefan again—and that it was by her own fault that she had been brought to this?

  Suddenly, her grief overcame her and she bent her head, a sob of despair escaping her. She was so alone without him, needed him so desperately.

  ‘Ah, do not weep, lady,’ a soft voice said beside her. ‘It grieves me to see you so sad.’

  ‘Sir…’ Elona glanced up at the face of the young man who was gazing at her so kindly. ‘I am a foolish woman, Alain. You must forgive me.’

  ‘You need no forgiveness,’ Alain said and sat down on the bench next to her. ‘Do you weep for my brother—because he leaves you here so long alone?’

  ‘How did you know?’ Elona was surprised. Yet she ought not to have been, for he was truly one of the gentlest, most sensitive people she had ever met.

  ‘I have seen it in your eyes,’ Alain told her with a smile. ‘You love him. Very much, I think?’

  ‘Yes—but he does not love me…’ Elona gasped for she had not meant to say so much. ‘I mean…he is angry with me.’

  ‘I have sensed some mystery,’ Alain said. ‘I know Stefan to be a man of strict honour and I do not think he would have wed you so suddenly without cause.’ He paused as her cheeks flamed and he realised he had hit upon the truth. ‘But perhaps you would rather I went away and did not ask such questions?’

  ‘I…no,’ Elona said chokily. ‘I have been too ashamed to tell anyone the truth.’

  ‘You speak of shame. What can you have done that is so very wicked?’

  ‘I have lied,’ Elona said, her head lifting as she faced her sin and pride was restored. She would speak out and take her punishment. ‘I told Baron Danewold that I was with child because I thought it might stop him…forcing me to his bed…and it did. I took a potion that made me vomit all over him and convinced him that I was carrying a child.’

  ‘I would have liked to see his face,’ Alain told her with a merry smile. ‘It was perhaps the only way you could have prevented him from seducing you. I have heard that he is a man of ill temper.’ He looked thoughtful. ‘I take it that you told him and my father that Stefan was the father of your child?’

  ‘Yes, and it was a wicked lie,’ Elona said, her cheeks pale, hands trembling as she clasped them in her lap. ‘He would never have betrayed the trust your mother placed in him. That is why he is so angry with me, because I defamed him, cast a slur on his honour.’

  Alain was silent for a moment. He was not certain that Stefan’s anger came entirely from that cause. Perhaps he above all other men knew the softer side of the nature that Stefan believed entirely hidden. ‘You are not with child, I think? Nor have you lain with a man?’ he asked and Elona’s cheeks flamed as she shook her head. ‘So you lied to my father and I believe I can guess why.’ A smile of rare sweetness touched his mouth, his eyes warm and understanding. ‘You had fallen in love with Stefan and did not wish to be forced into marriage with me?’

  ‘I love him so much,’ Elona replied brokenly. ‘Now that I have met you, I know that I should not have been forced to wed you, Alain, but…it was the reason I lied.’

  To her surprise he threw back his head and laughed merrily. ‘It seems that we have both been playing a deep game, Elona. I sent one of my men with my brother to delay his journey here. I believe you had certain little accidents on the journey?’

  ‘We thought that was Baron Danewold’s men!’ She stared at him and then smiled as she appreciated the jest. ‘Marguerite said that you did not wish to marry.’

  ‘I am not ready to take a wife,’ Alain admitted with a rueful look. ‘You are lovely and it would be no hardship to wed you and stay here, but if I did that I should never be a true knight like my brother. I must win my honours and will not have them handed to me on a golden platter because of who I am.’

  ‘Your sister said that you look for a cause?’

  ‘It is in my mind to go to Duke Richard’s court,’ Alain said. ‘I would have gone sooner, but my mother held me here with soft words. I feared to grieve her—and then I could not leave before you arrived, for it would have been discourteous.’

  Elona smiled and touched his hand. ‘You are a most gentle knight. I vow a truer knight could not be found, sir, though you have not been knighted. And I thank you for your kindness.’

  ‘And what will you do about Stefan?’

  Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘What can I do? He is my husband and he bids me stay here until he sends. I must obey him.’

  ‘Must you?’ Alain’s brows rose. ‘My brother is a fool to think ill of you, lady. Anyone can see that you are as innocent as you are lovely. Shall I tell him that? I could tell him what a fool he is if you will allow me.’

  ‘He would be angry…’ She looked at him steadily, a faint flicker of hope in her mind. ‘What should I do? How can I win him?’

  ‘You are his wife. Your rightful place is with him. In your stead I would go to him with all your goods and chattels. He can hardly bar you from the gates. Once he has admitted you, you will find a way to make him see the truth. And if you do not, then I shall challenge him…that’s if I’m still in England.’

  ‘Go to him?’ Elona gasped at the boldness of his plan. ‘Without waiting for him to send for me?’

  ‘Why not?’ Alain’s merry smile lifted her spirits. ‘I vow the man is behaving like a fool and I dare swear it is jealousy that rides him—because if he believes you are with child and knows it is not his, he must think you have lain with another.’

  ‘Lain with another?’ Elona felt the dizzy relief sweep over her. ‘You think it is because he believes I have known another man that he keeps from me? But if he is so jealous, might that not mean…?’ Her words trailed off, for she did not dare to hope so much.

  ‘I know my brother,’ Alain said. ‘Had he despised you as you imagine he would not have tamely allowed our father to push him into wedding you. He would have refused and ridden away. The very fact that he married you must mean that he cares for you—enough to protect your reputation, and I believe far more.’

  ‘If that were true…’ Elona’s heart soared on the hope he had given her and she jumped up, her face alight with new eagerness. ‘I cannot thank you enough for all you have done for me, sir!’

  �
��And I shall do more,’ Alain said, a hint of mischief in his blue eyes. ‘A letter shall come for you tomorrow and you shall tell my mother that Stefan sends for you. I shall offer to escort you. My brother shall not deny you entry if I am with you, lady.’

  ‘How good you are,’ she cried and laughed, clapping her hands at the plan. ‘I was so foolish to fear coming here.’

  ‘I cannot vouch for Stefan’s actions when he has been forced to admit you,’ Alain told her with a wry look. ‘I believe he hath a temper and you may bear the brunt of his anger—but you must be patient. Show him in every way that you can that you are prepared to be a good wife. Let him see that there is no child, and, when he is ready to listen, tell him the truth.’

  ‘I have tried, but he would not listen.’

  ‘Because he was in the white heat of anger,’ Alain replied. ‘It will have cooled by this time. I dare say he has begun to regret leaving you here. When he sees you, all his feelings for you will come flooding back and he cannot fail to want and love you.’

  ‘I have been such a fool,’ Elona admitted. ‘I should have sent him a letter before this, confessing my fault, but I was too shamed to think of it.’

  ‘Do not fear,’ Alain said and gave her the sweet smile that was so like his mother’s. ‘Stefan is not such a fool that he could turn his back on you when you are there in his house every day. If he loves you, it will irk him to keep a distance from you. You must find a way to show him how much you love him. It may take time, but in the end you will win him back to you.’

  Elona looked at him shyly. ‘I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could not have confessed my shame to your mother or to Sir Ralph.’

  ‘My father is very like Stefan,’ Alain said and chuckled. ‘They both seem to be growling bears, but underneath you will find there is a heart as true as any man’s.’

  ‘Yes, I know it,’ Elona said. ‘And now I shall go to my chamber and tell my women to prepare my things.’

  ‘No, not until after you get the letter,’ Alain said, that wicked gleam in his eyes. ‘My mother will question it else and we must not let her suspect anything.’

  ‘Yes, you are right. I am too hasty.’

  But now that she had something to do, something to fight for, she was full of energy and resolve. Alain was right. She had been foolish rather than wicked and had been overcome by her shame. It was wrong of her to lie, but if Stefan loved her…if he loved her he would forgive her one day.

  ‘I am sorry that you must go and leave us.’

  Elona smiled and embraced the younger girl. ‘I dare say you will visit us one day,’ she said. ‘Besides, it will not be long before you are wed yourself and mayhap I shall be invited to your wedding.’ A delicate blush touched the young girl’s cheek. ‘I believe there is someone you like very much?’

  ‘Oh, no—at least, he would not be interested in me. He came here but once with Stefan and has never returned.’

  But you will marry one day. I am sure of it.’

  ‘Of course you will be invited when that happens,’ Marguerite said and hugged her. ‘I shall miss you, Elona. You have been the sister I have longed for and never had. But you must go to Stefan. I know that is where you want to be, and I am sure that he must be impatient for your coming.’

  Elona smiled but made no reply. She was filled with trepidation as she took her farewell of Sir Ralph and Lady Alayne, thanking them for their kindness to her.

  ‘It was a pleasure to have you here,’ Alayne told her and kissed her warmly. ‘We shall always be pleased to see you and Stefan at Banewulf, Elona. You will tell him that I said that, won’t you? I have sometimes feared that he felt himself cast out when his father sent him from home at such a young age. It is the custom to send sons away for their training, but must often be hard for the child.’

  ‘Yes, I shall tell him,’ Elona said, but in truth she did not know when. Would Stefan even speak to her—would he admit her? What would she do if he turned her away?

  ‘God speed, lady,’ Sir Ralph said. ‘I am sending ten of my best men with you and Alain. I do not believe you are in any danger, but I would not have harm come to you from my neglect.’

  ‘I thank you for your care of me—and I ask you to forgive me, sir.’

  ‘For what?’ His brows rose and he was so like Stefan that her heart jerked. ‘You are a lovely woman, Elona, and I believe no lasting harm has been done.’

  Elona nodded, but could not meet his eyes. She had wanted to confess her sin to him, but Alain had advised against it.

  ‘My father would not approve of what you did,’ he told her. ‘It is better that he does not know for the time being. When you have made your peace with Stefan will be time enough for the truth, I think.’

  Elona could only take his advice, though she knew that Sir Ralph must suspect something, for it must be obvious to him that she was not carrying Stefan’s child. Indeed, her grief had caused her to lose weight and she was more slender than she had been before she came to Banewulf.

  ‘You are ready, lady?’ Alain came to help her mount her palfrey.

  She gave him her hand, her heart racing wildly. She was far from ready for Stefan’s reaction when she arrived at his manor, hardly daring to think how he would look or what he might say to her. Indeed, she knew that she would never have dared to set out on this venture without Alain’s help and reassurance.

  Their journey took them three days. They rode at a steady pace, finding time to talk and enjoy the pleasant countryside about them. He was, Elona thought, a wholly charming companion, but there was no danger that she would fall in love with him. Alain’s smile brought her cheer, but it did not cause her knees to tremble or her body to ache with longing as the merest glance from Stefan always had.

  When the large manor house came into view, Elona drew rein, her breath catching in her throat as they looked up to it, as it sat broodingly on a rise, its grey stone walls imposing and severe. The fortifications had been strengthened recently, as though Stefan felt that the peace England had enjoyed during much of King Henry’s reign, despite the rebellions of his sons, might not always hold good. Yet the dwelling had also been improved, with new windows added to bring light and sunshine to what might otherwise have been a dark interior.

  ‘Supposing he will not admit me?’ she said to Alain as he brought his horse to a standstill beside hers. ‘Where shall I go? I could not return to Banewulf.’

  ‘Fear not, Elona. My brother will not send you away.’ Alain smiled at her encouragingly. ‘Do not forget that you are the Lady de Barre as well as Stefan’s wife, and you have the right to be treated with respect if nothing more.’

  Elona’s head went up. She must have the courage to carry out this bold plan, though her knees felt suddenly turned to water and her mouth was dry.

  As the column of men, women, and wagons wound slowly up towards the manor of Sanscombe, she could see activity about the gates and wondered if they would be closed against her. However, nothing happened and their entire party was allowed in unchallenged.

  Alain helped her dismount as a man she had never seen before came to greet them. He was in his middle years, clearly a steward and just as clearly bewildered by seeing his lord’s wife in their courtyard.

  ‘Sir—my lady, I fear I was unprepared for your coming. My lord did not tell me he expected you.’

  ‘My brother must have had other matters on his mind,’ Alain said, covering Elona’s confusion with his easy charm. ‘Where is he? I would have words with him.’

  ‘My lord and some of his men went hunting this morning,’ the steward said. ‘Forgive me, sir. My wits are scattered. I am Piers, Baron Sanscombe’s steward. I shall have rooms made ready for you at once.’ He turned to Elona with a bow. ‘Your apartments have been ready for some time, my lady, though a fire would have been lit had I known you were expected.’

  ‘It may be done when your people have time, Piers,’ she said and smiled at him. ‘If you could have someone show me the direc
tion, please? I would rest for a little—before my lord returns.’

  Her heart had stopped racing. The meeting that she had dreaded had been postponed. Stefan had not been here to deny her entrance, as she’d feared—but what would he say when he returned?

  ‘My wife is here?’ Stefan managed to keep his tone level as he looked at the steward. Why had his heart leapt with joy? Was he fool enough to love her still, after her self-confessed wanton behaviour? ‘And my brother? He escorted her here himself?’

  ‘Yes, sir. I am sorry that I was not better prepared for their arrival. If you told me of it, I had forgotten.’

  ‘No, no, it was not your fault,’ Stefan said, his face expressionless as he fought against the warring emotions raging through him. The immediate joy had faded swiftly to be replaced by doubt and rage. Elona here? How dare she defy him! He would send her packing immediately!

  And yet in truth he had been thinking of sending for her this past month or more. Stefan had begun to realise that it was foolish to keep her at arm’s length. She was, after all, his wife and he could never take another without casting her off. How could he do that when it would shame her? Surely he was man enough to accept what was past and look to the future?

  ‘I had not realised that she would be here so soon.’ He nodded dismissal to Piers, pacing the room as he tried to calm himself for the inevitable interview with Elona. She was here now and he must learn to live with the knowledge of her sin, the fact that she was bearing another man’s child. He must learn to control his feelings! To accept that what had been done could not be undone.

  ‘Ah, brother. I am glad to see you returned safely from the hunt.’

  Stefan swung round as his half-brother came into the room. ‘Alain,’ he said, some of his anger defusing as he saw the other’s merry smile. He had never held a grudge against Alain, blaming his father alone for his banishment from Banewulf. ‘So you have brought my wife to me. I must thank you, though I should have come to fetch her myself in time.’