The Risks We Take

by Barbara C. Doyle

  I hear him mutter something to himself, then sigh.

  “You’re never going to be normal again, you know,” he finally says. “Even if our band fizzles out, we’ll always be in the press somehow. We’ll be in some edition of ‘Where Are They Now’ magazines. You want what Will and Tess have, but you’ll never get it. Especially not from some small-town girl who doesn’t even live in the same state as you. I know I’ve been an ass, but I’m not trying to be right now. You have to open your eyes, man. You’re trying to get what you can’t have.”

  I swallow hard, leaning my head against the wall.

  “And I shouldn’t be acting out, but I haven’t changed what I want. I’ve accepted everything that comes our way. I knew we’d do well. I knew we’d become big. Every anticipation has been something that I expected, and that’s what makes us different. You didn’t believe it, so you can’t accept it.”

  “You’ve never wanted what we used to have?” I doubt.

  “We were nothing back then.”

  We’re nothing now.

  “We had no money, barely any gigs, and nobody knew our name.”

  “But where do we draw the line?” I question. “We gave everything up, Dylan. We sold out to a company who would rather I ruin Kasey’s life to save face. What does that say about us?”

  He sighs. “It says that we mean something to somebody. Shit, to a lot of people.”

  I shake my head. “Not to the people who matter, though.”

  I hear a car approaching on my left, and my head snaps to the side to see who it is.

  A cop rolls by and then stops just past where I’m standing.

  I curse.

  “Did they find you?” he asks.

  I see Jake’s face in the side mirror.

  “No, but this might not be any more pleasant,” I grumble.

  “You going to be okay?”

  “Are you?” I counter.

  He pauses. “I need to know you’re in this for real. Then I will be.”

  “If you expect me to sell out Kasey to prove that, then you’re not the guy I thought you were.”

  “I don’t expect that. Just something.”

  The driver’s side door opens.

  I groan. “A song. I have one. But I can’t talk about it now.”

  “Want me to get Eric and Danny there?”

  “I think it’ll be okay. Call them if Tom thinks they should come.”

  He makes every other choice anyway.

  “On it,” he assures. “And for the record, I consider you my best friend, too.”

  I roll my eyes. “Don’t get sappy on me now, asshat.”

  He snorts. “Whatever, douche.”

  We hang up, just in time for Jake to stand up and stare at me.

  “Get in,” he instructs, gesturing toward the car.

  I eye him suspiciously. “Why?”

  “I’m trying to help, idiot. You can either get chased by reporters, or accept the ride. Your choice, although you’d be stupid not to take my offer.”

  I can hear the group of voices get even closer, so I walk to the passenger side of the cruiser and get in. We close our doors at the same time.

  “Are you following me?” I question, as soon as he started driving.

  He snorts. “More like following your mess. Congratulations on making the town a leech field. The business owners just love people snooping around for details on one of their own.”

  “You think I wanted this? I didn’t.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  I don’t say anything, because nothing I say will be good enough for him. Not when it comes to the person he’s protecting. Too bad we’re protecting the same person. One of us is bound to try just a little harder than the other to make sure she’s okay, and I don’t know if it can be me.

  Not with so many people pitting the odds against me.

  “Is this how it is for you? People always wanting to be in your business?” he asks.

  I look out the window, not knowing quite where we are.

  “Pretty much.”

  “You realize that she can’t be part of it, right? Your lifestyle isn’t for her. She’s got too much to lose, and she’ll be the only person who loses something because of this.”

  I slowly turn my head toward him. “She’s already in it,” I point out. “And I’m not saying that I like it, because I don’t. I just know that it’ll be hard to change. I know this business better than you. I’ve lived it. I live it every day.”

  “Which is exactly why she can’t be involved,” he replies robotically. “She’s going through too much shit for you to ruin it all for her. If you have to deal with this every day, it’ll only tarnish her. Look what they’re saying about her already!”

  “You don’t think I’ve seen it?” I snap. “You don’t think I don’t care? News flash, Officer Know-It-All, it pisses me off just as much as you. You’re not the only person who cares about her, and I’m sure that makes you angry, but you’ll have to get the fuck over it.”

  “This whole situation was caused because you were thinking of yourself,” he informs me, shaking his head. “You decided you needed something more in your life, so you came here. You decided to bring Kasey into your life, so you took her out. And then you tell the town gossip mill that you’re dating her. Whether you want to believe it or not, you’re at fault for this entire thing. She was doing just fine on her own before you showed up.”

  I let that soak in. Every single hit. Every single truth. He’s not wrong, and that makes me angrier than anything.

  “And yeah,” he continues, his voice calmer, “I want to be with Kasey. I may even love that girl, and it sucks knowing that I’m not the only one who does. But I also know that she’ll never put me first. Or you. It’ll always be Taylor, and I admire that about her. And what you did—what you started—it’s going to make Kasey getting custody of her sister that much harder.”

  My eyes widen. “She’s trying to get custody?”

  He looks at me, as if he doesn’t believe I didn’t know. “Wow, something she didn’t tell you. Color me surprised.”

  The pettiness in his tone isn’t hidden.

  “She doesn’t tell me a lot of things,” I murmur, thinking back to the picture of them at the park.

  “Somehow, I doubt that.”

  “Were you on a date with her?” I question. “When that picture was taken, was that what you were doing?”

  I see the diner come into view, and know that’s where he’s dropping me off.

  “She spent the day with you yesterday, and she didn’t tell you?”

  I shake my head.

  His jaw ticks. “Of course not.” He pulls up in front of the diner. It doesn’t look any busier than normal, which I take as a good sign.

  “She wouldn’t tell you that,” he finishes, “because she didn’t want to go.”

  If he knew she didn’t want to date, why bother going at all?

  I don’t ask, because I can see the hurt carved into his face. His lips are pressed into a straight line as he parks the car. Leaving it running, he stares at the building. I can’t help but feel bad for the guy.

  “Tell my mother I said hi,” he says as a farewell.

  I open the door, and give him one last look. “I wish you were a dick,” I tell him.

  A ghost smile appears on his face. “Same to you, Ian.”

  Closing the door, I make my way into the diner, and look around to make sure no reporters are inside. To my surprise, it seems quiet; a normal early-afternoon crowd sitting scattered around the small dining area.

  I go to the counter, about ready to ask for Kasey, when Rosie comes up to me.

  “She’s not here,” she states coolly.

  “She’s not working?”

  “She’s supposed to,” she answers, her face void of emotion. “But as you can imagine, seeing her face plastered on the front cover of every magazine and newspaper around upset her.”

  I swipe my hand down my
face, sighing. Dropping onto a stool, I ask, “Can you at least tell me where she is? She’s not at her apartment, I checked. I just want to talk to her, Rosie. That’s all.”

  “That’s all,” she mimics, shaking her head. “We both know that’s a damn lie. But for your information, she’s at my son’s place. He gave her a ride there this morning when she saw the papers here at work.”

  My eye twitches. Maybe Jake is a dick after all. He drove me here with false hope I’d see her, only to go where she’s really hiding out.

  “What’s the chances of you giving me the address?”

  She eyes me. “About as likely as me winning a million dollars, retiring, and living the rest of my life in the lap of luxury.”

  I nod once. “So very slim then.”

  “Practically non-existent,” she confirms.

  “If it’s any consolation, luxury isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Especially if you have nobody worth sharing it with.”

  She crosses her arms on her chest. “Let me ask you something, boy.”

  My shoulders sag. “I’m guessing if I try passing on this conversation, you’re going to tell me anyway, huh?”

  The look I get tells me to shut up. I do.

  “I’m not going to ask you if you care about her, because you wouldn’t be taking your chances talking to me if you didn’t,” she began.

  “Technically, your son dropped me off into your grasp.”

  She gives me the look again, so I press my lips together.

  “What I want to know is how much you care?”

  I open my mouth to answer, but she holds her hands up.

  “I don’t want you to actually give me an answer.” I close my mouth. “I want you to really think about it—about what to sacrifice. About what it would take to make her safe. She needs a stable life, and you being around won’t give her that. If you truly care about her, you’d leave.”

  And there it is.

  “You want me to leave so she can have Jake.”

  She looks like she wants to smack me upside the head with her ordering pad.

  “Kasey is old enough to decide who it is that she wants to be with,” she informs me matter-of-factly. “And while I have always pushed the idea of those two to be together, I don’t expect it unless they both feel something worth pursuing. What I really give a damn about is both of their well-beings. Kasey’s more than my own son’s. Jake grew up in a loving home, with plenty of people who cared about him. Kasey wasn’t that fortunate, and she’s stronger for it. It just means that she deserves everything that she wants, and what she wants now is a very sensitive situation.”

  “Taylor,” I say quietly.

  Her eyes widen a fraction. “She told you?”

  I shake my head. “Your son did.”

  She grumbles something. “Regardless of who told you, it means that this is serious. You need to figure out what’s best for her if you really want to show her you care. Life is about making sacrifices. I know you’ve made quite a few of your own already.”

  I stare at her.

  “I may be old, but I keep up, young man. You always talked about music when you were little. Drove your mother crazy, but she supported you anyway. I may not know what it takes to be where you are, but I know that the people hunting you and Kasey down is a good indication that you sacrificed your privacy to become something big. You should be proud.”

  I try to figure out what to say, but come up blank.

  All I can think is: I am.

  “Your parents must be, too,” she adds, nodding her head. “But enough about that. Think about what I said. You going to order something? Coffee would be the decent kind since Kasey isn’t working.”

  I shake my head. “I’ve got some damage control to do,” I murmur, standing up.

  “This town looks after its people, Ian,” she tells me as I walk toward the door. “You were once our people too.”

  “I’m not anymore though.”

  “While you’re in the town border, you are. You may not be the most liked because of what those tabloids are saying, but that doesn’t mean you’re hated or unprotected. Jake has people escorting those idiots off the apartment’s property so Kasey can go back. Whatever you decide, I assume she’ll be back tonight.”

  Why is she telling me this?

  Maybe she’s doing it out of pity, because she knows just as well as I do what I’ll choose. She’s telling me this so I can say good-bye, if I know what’s really good for Kasey.

  She may be leaving the choice up to me, but she, along with everybody else in this town, has already made the final decision.

  I think back to what Tessa told me about impressing Kasey. I never did get to make her dinner, and if it means saying good-bye the right way, then I have work to get done before she comes back.

  I look at Rosie one last time, a small smile forming on my face. “You know, Rose, if you’re ever looking for a guy, I know a guy back home. His name’s Marty. I think you two would hit it off.”

  She puts her hands on her hips. “Like I’m about to be set up by you.”

  I chuckle, shaking my head. “Well, it was nice knowing you I guess. I’d say see you around, but we both know you don’t want that.”

  Her features soften a little. “Just go make something of yourself, kid. And do it honestly. No bullshit in the press, got it?”

  I salute her, which causes her to shake her head.

  KASEY

  Taylor is staying with Rosie until I decide it’s safe enough for her to come back. It took Jake all day to get everybody cleared from the property just so I could come back, and spending the day hiding out in Jake’s apartment is the last thing I wanted to do.

  Especially knowing that Taylor was trapped in school, with anybody able to find her. Even though Jake and Rosie assured me that the school is the safest place for her, it didn’t ease any of my worries.

  Which leaves me here, sitting on the couch and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It seems like the next logical step. After all, I’m already considered the town whore.

  Much to Jake’s dismay, I decided to do a little research on my name after the article hit, because the curiosity ate at me.

  I’m on blogs, social media accounts, and news outlets that focus on celebrity gossip. I’m the girl that’s involved with one of the music industry’s most popular bachelors, and based on the general consensus, I’m a bitch for two reasons.

  1.)Being involved with Ian at all, because apparently, I’m not good enough for him. Who would have thought my secondhand clothes would be the deciding factor, but according to his fan club, it’s all about the money. Money that I “clearly” don’t have.

  2.)Breaking his heart by cheating on him with Jake. If anything, I’m more with Jake than I am with Ian. But heaven forbid anybody believe that. They decide to hate me for the sake of hating.

  Now those people would be the ones who call out while a potential murderer is after you. They also probably believe that Elvis Presley has really been alive this whole time and living as a hobo instead of being in the limelight.

  Can’t say I’d blame the guy if he went through shit like this. I would want to escape the limelight, too, if it meant being out of public speculation.

  Regardless, reading the articles didn’t help kill the curiosity. Maybe part of me hoped that I’d see articles retracting the original post, or somebody coming to my defense.

  But I saw nothing.

  I wrap my arms around knees, drawing them to my chest, and resting my chin on top of them. It’s almost seven at night—I have no idea what tomorrow will be like, and I have no idea what to do now.

  I look at my phone to see a picture of Rosie with Taylor, both smiling. Taylor’s holding up a cupcake, with blue frosting smeared across her face.

  I frown over missing the chance to spoil her like Rosie does, and even if she were here I wouldn’t be able to. My bank account is already screaming at me for buying the few extra groceries I did after paying rent
and other bills, so spoiling her is the last thing I’d be able to do.

  What does that say about me?

  Maybe this whole situation is what I needed to understand what it will take to grow up—to get Taylor. I need to steer clear of anybody who could ruin it. Ruin me. I already know the risks that this article started. If the court decides I’m not fit to care for Taylor because of the rumors, or the chance that she could be pulled into my mess, then I’ll never forgive myself.

  “Do what you think it best,” Jake tells me, squeezing my hand. “But remember what makes you happy, too. Who makes you happy.”

  Brushing fallen hair from my face, I shake my head at his advice. Ever since Ian showed up, he’s been tense. Like he wants me to ignore Ian one moment, and forgive him the next.

  I don’t know what to do anymore.

  I don’t know who makes me happy.

  I’m more lost now than I was before, and that isn’t going to make this any easier.

  There’s a knock at the door that breaks me away from my haunting worries, and I try to decide if I want to even bother answering. But if I don’t, I’ll only be spending this time moping around and feeling sorry for myself.

  As soon as I open the door, Ian comes walking in with random ingredients in his hands.

  “Um …”

  “I’m cooking.”

  I slowly close the door. “Does your kitchen not suffice?”

  He snorts, dropping the stuff on the counter. I examine tortilla shells, bell peppers, and hamburger.

  “I didn’t get to make you dinner like I promised,” he states, looking at me. “So tonight is the night. Is Taylor here?”

  I take time to process this. “Uh, no. Rosie has her again. You don’t have to make me dinner, Ian. Plus, you made Taylor cake.”

  “But cake isn’t dinner.”

  “Ian, I don’t think this is a good idea. You being here, I mean.”

  “I wanted to talk to you all day, Kasey. Please just let me explain everything.”

  “Over dinner?” I question.

  He shrugs. “If it means you listening, then yes. I want you to know that I never expected shit to hit the fan. I don’t want you to be pulled into the bullshit I have to deal with. I shouldn’t have told that girl you were my girlfriend, but I can’t change that. I can only make it go away by making a statement. So I did.”