by Dee J. Stone
I raise an eyebrow.
“All your life, it’s been you and Lex. Well, besides for when you were in New York. But now you’re away from her and maybe can start dating other girls? I mean, the girls here don’t know what a douche you are, so I’m sure at least a few would want to go out with you. Once they get passed your hideous looks, of course.”
I launch at him, locking an arm around his neck and forcing his head into the mattress. “Your face looks just like mine.”
He laughs into the bed. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Except you look like some idiot with a bad haircut.”
“You’re the one who gave me the haircut.”
“Yeah, because you decided to grow some damn Mohawk.”
He laughs again. “What cologne have you been using? Damn, you smell.”
My arm falls away from him. I sit back on my knees. The cologne. Lex gave it to me as a present after our second date. Said she loved the smell. I love it, too. At least I did, up until now. I didn’t even realize I put it on this morning.
Rey sits up and looks at me. “Sorry. Lex gave it to you, didn’t she?”
I clench my jaw.
“Let’s play a game,” he says.
Yeah, a game should take my mind off things. At least until tonight when I lie in bed, where all I’ll see before me is her beautiful face.
I shove the image away. “Load it.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lex
Dani and I are sitting in a juice bar about twenty minutes away from my house. It’s where we used to hang a month ago, before Cruiser and I rekindled our friendship. Juice Me was our hangout when Cruiser was in New York for a year, and I couldn’t step foot inside once he started working there. Though he’s not working there now, I can’t bring myself to go in. We have so many memories there.
The kids at school were talking and said the Dalton twins moved in with their dad. I didn’t believe it and asked Mom. She told me Shirley mentioned something about the boys living with their dad. I don’t know what to think about that. Did Cruiser run away because of our break up? It makes sense—it would be awkward for us to run into each other here and there. Not to mention the pain he must be feeling. Is it ridiculous for me to feel bad about that? That he gave up on me. I mean, I needed to break up with him. I wasn’t good for him. My heart’s begging me to reconsider and give us another chance. But it has to be this way, until I get through my issues.
Dani taps her fingers against the cup in her hand. “Thinking about him?”
I swallow and nod. She and I adopted a no-mentioning-the-guy-whose-name-starts-with-a-C policy, but it’s really hard. Everywhere I go, I see him.
I shake my head. “I guess I can’t believe he and I are actually over. Only a few days ago, we were talking and having fun.” Tears collect in my eyes. “It makes me question if I should bother getting close to someone.” Maybe I’m not cut out to have a relationship with anyone. Maybe I’m just too messed up.
Dani lays her free hand over mine that’s resting on the table. “Getting close to someone, opening you heart and letting yourself feel vulnerable, is a very terrifying thing. But it can be so, so awesome. Sometimes you need to risk your heart.”
A tear slips out of my eye.
Dani says, “All your life, it’s always been you and the Dalton Twins. You fell in love with…him, then fell in love with his brother, then went back to him. You haven’t met other guys.”
I place my elbow on the table and balance my forehead on my palm. “I don’t want to meet other guys. I just…I don’t know what I want.” I want to not be so screwed up anymore. To be able to have a healthy relationship with Cruiser without hurting him.
“Well, you don’t need a guy,” she says. “There’s nothing wrong with being single.”
“Yeah, until I’m lonely.”
“I’ll spend more time with you.”
I shake my head. “No. I want you to spend time with Simon. He’s a really good guy and has been great to you.”
“He’ll understand if I want to spend more time with you.”
“No. Thanks, I really appreciate it, but I think I need to be alone. Maybe I’ll find a new hobby or something.”
“That’s actually a pretty good idea,” Dani says. “I learned a lot about myself when I took a break after the Jackass. I spent more time with my family and gave a lot of time to myself. You’ve grown to rely on the Daltons because they were always there for you your whole life. Maybe it’s time you let go.”
I take a few more sips as her words of wisdom soak my head. Ever since I was five years old, I grew dependent on the Dalton Twins. They were always there for me, especially him. When I was thirteen, I used to lie awake in bed and pretend he and I were together, a real couple. It’s like I promised myself we belonged together because I really wanted that. Maybe all this time I’ve been holding on to a fantasy and projected it into my relationship with Cruiser.
Maybe it’s time to let it all go so he can finally move on.
My phone buzzes. I know who’s texting me. Reaching into my pocket, I pull it out.
“It’s him?” Dani asks.
I nod. “I’m deleting him. Both him and his brother. It’s time I let go.”
My thumb hovers over the delete contact button. I close my eyes for a second and take in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Before I can change my mind, I delete him. Then I delete his brother.
“I’m so proud of you,” Dani says. “This is the start of a new life for you. Now you can focus on yourself and be the person you want to be. Everything will fall into place. You’ll see.”
I get up and wrap my arms around Dani. “Thanks. You’re such a good friend.”
She half-returns the hug before shrugging away. “Enough with this mushy shit.”
I laugh. “You still haven’t changed. Hey, let’s go do something. Maybe catch a movie?”
“Sure.”
“No romances, though.”
She nods. “Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Cruiser
School sucked even more ass today.
I get to my room and throw my bag on the floor. I need to do something. Don’t know what. At my old place, I’d hit the bench to blow off some steam. But I don’t have any of my equipment here. The beach is too far away. And I’m not in the mood.
Looking around my room, I don’t find anything. Games won’t work. I need…
The boxes in the corner. Dad brought them here earlier today. Mom packed them with “essentials” we forgot because we’re guys and what do we know? I edge closer and peer into the first box. Toothbrushes, some more clothes, our shavers, some other crap. I open the second box. Rey’s violin stares up at me.
I reach for it, running my hand up and down its length. I don’t know when it was shipped home from Kelman’s.
After grabbing the bow, I sit down on my bed. Place the violin against my neck. My fingers move. My head bobs to the music. I don’t know what song I’m playing, but it’s one I played a million times as a kid. Some classic.
The floor creaks. I look up, my fingers frozen. Rey stands there, his gaze on the violin. His violin. His Adam’s apple shakes as a swallow goes down his throat.
I continue to play. Rey still stands there. Stares at the violin the way a parent might look at his kid who’s been missing for months.
I’m about to ask him if he wants a go, but he turns around and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
Seeing the violin, hearing me play, I know it hurts him. He gave up on his dream, something he loved. I lower the violin and bow onto the bed and chase after him. Call his name.
The outside door slams, too.
***
When you’re in love with someone, there are days when you’re more or less okay and days when you feel it bad. Tonight, I’m crazy as hell.
Yeah, I’m still in love with her. I think I always will be. I can’t imagine not loving her. Guess I got no choic
e but to be screwed for life.
Rey’s not home to keep me occupied. Games aren’t working for a distraction. I got bored of the violin after playing for half an hour. I pace around the room, shoving my fingers though my hair and pulling on the strands.
I’m losing my head. Forget my heart—that’s gone.
I grab my phone and check it for the billionth time. No response, no surprise.
I fall down on my back and stare at the ceiling. I’m frozen. Don’t know why. Maybe I’m wiped out. Lost all my energy. Maybe every cell in body is broken, too.
After a few minutes, I get up and reach for Rey’s stress ball. I squeeze it. Breathe in, breathe out. I can’t take this anymore.
I head to the kitchen and open the fridge. There’s nothing to eat. Dad’s living like a bachelor. I slam the door and look though the cupboards. Crackers. Awesome.
Sitting at the table, I start to munch. The crap is so dry I’m about to choke. I dash to the sink and turn on the water. Stick my mouth under the faucet and drink.
Damn, I’m losing my mind.
Dad’s in bed. Not that I’m in the mood of talking to him, but he would have been a good distraction. I got no clue where the hell Rey is. As far as I know, he hasn’t made any friends at our lame school. I can’t worry about him now. I need…damn, I don’t know what the hell I need.
Love. It really does turn a guy insane.
I make my way back to my room and sit down on my bed. How the hell am I going to live like this?
Rey walks inside. Stops short when he sees me. “Whoa. What happened? You look like hell.”
“Where you been?”
He shrugs. “Just checked out the neighborhood. There’s nothing good around here. Just a bowling alley.”
I don’t say anything. Fuck bowling alleys.
Rey sits down near me. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s been two days and she hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts.” I clutch my heart. My chest hurts. “Damn, I think I’m going to have a heart attack.”
Rey’s eyes are on me for a bit. “You really love her,” he mutters.
Damn, these tears. They’re spilling down my cheeks like I’ve got a fountain behind my eyes.
Rey gets up. “You can’t live like this, Cruise. You need to move on.”
“Like you did? Did you really move on? You said you didn’t like her like that, that you were okay that she and I were together. I know you were lying.”
Rey purses his lips. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t stand seeing you like this!”
“Welcome to my world,” I mumble. “Like I could stand seeing you throw your life away? Hanging out with those jackass losers, flunking school, giving up on everything that meant something to you.”
Rey’s eyes flash. He fists his hands. “I’m not talking about this.” He turns toward the door.
I shoot to my feet. “You need to, Rey! You need to face your problems.”
“Go to hell.”
“You know something?” I reach for my jacket and throw it over my shoulders. “You’re a loser. Because you gave up. You failed at Kelman’s and you walked away. You didn’t pick yourself up and try again. Only a loser does that.” I swallow as my heart races. “And I gave up on the most important thing in my life.” I march toward the door.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“To Lex.”
“It’s nearly midnight. You won’t get there before 1 AM.”
“Least of my problems.”
I run out of the apartment. Grab my bike and kick into gear. I’ve been stupid all this time. You fight for what you want. You fight for love. I don’t care about all that extra crap we carry around. I don’t care that we might have to work a little bit harder on our relationship than other couples. When it’s right, it’s right. And I won’t give up that easily.
Driving down the street, I don’t think about the long journey. All I see before me is Lex’s beautiful face. I won’t leave her place until she promises she’ll give us another chance. That she’ll put everything into our relationship. Because that’s what you do when you love a person. That kind of love only happens once in a lifetime. You don’t throw it away. For anything.
As I stop before a red light, a dark car pulls up next to me. I don’t pay attention to it, but then I hear sneers. I turn my head. Jake Tyler is in there, sitting in the passenger seat. Two guys sit in the back and another guy is the driver.
I look away. That damn bozo is the reason I got suspended from school. He’s the reason Rey got into drugs. Bastard.
The light turns green and I speed up. Jake’s car follows. As I ride, the car knocks into my bike. “What the hell?” I yell.
They knock into me again.
When they knock into me a third time, I lose control and crash down, scraping the side of my body on the asphalt. The bike nearly crushes me.
I cough. I taste blood.
A hand closes over my arm and drags me to my feet. Jake smiles at me. An evil smile. “Look what we got here.” The other guys flank me on either side. Jake cocks his head. “You’re the reason I got expelled from school.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I fist my hands at my sides. If he wants a fight, I sure as hell am giving him one. I bet I can take on all four.
He steps forward. I keep my ground. “You see.” He pokes his finger into my chest. “Because of your little…‘demonstration,’ some kid told the administration that I sold him drugs. They checked my locker and found my stash.”
“About time.”
He grabs hold of my arm and bends it back behind me. I curse. “This is all your fault!” He shoves me. It’s not enough force to make me stumble. I launch at him, but the three guys take hold of my arms. Jake punches my face. Blood splatters onto the ground.
“You got to do better than that.” I spit.
He grins. “Prepare to meet your worst nightmare.”
He punches my gut. My face. One time, two times, three times. I got no clue how many. The world spins.
I bend over and cough as more blood drips to the ground. Another three blows come to my stomach and I collapse on the ground. Jake lifts his leg and rams his foot into my ribs. Pain shoots throughout my body like I got electrocuted.
He slams his foot into my ribs again. I nearly black out. See stars. Almost puke.
“Rot in hell.” He kicks me one more time before getting into the car with the other guys and speeding away.
Every part of me stings. I can’t move. Can’t even raise my head.
“Help.” But no one’s here to help me. It’s after midnight and the place is deserted.
Moaning, I try to reach for my phone, but my arms feel like lead. My eyes are heavy.
“Lex…” I whisper before blacking out.
Read on for an excerpt from Forever, Book Three in the Cruiser & Lex series, now available on Kindle!
Chapter One
Cruiser
It’s dark as hell.
I squint in the distance, trying to make out something. Anything. But it’s pitch black. Straining my ears does squat. It’s like I’m buried underground. Except, I can breathe.
I’m sitting on the ground, legs crossed, hands on my knees. “Hello?” I say.
Nothing. Not even a damn breeze. Where the hell am I?
I raise my arms. Reach them out as far as they can go. But all I get is air.
“Hello?” I say again.
A noise behind me. My head whips around. Light shines, blinding me. My eyes tear. I blink a few times, let the tears run down my cheeks. Then I see it—a form running toward me. It moves closer and closer, until I realize what it is. A little kid.
It’s like someone yanks me to my feet with marionette strings. My surroundings change. Colors fly in all different directions, swirling around and around, and then poof. I’m in a meadow that looks like it came out of a kid’s coloring book. The most vibrant colors I’ve ever seen.
The kid is still running toward
me. Dark hair swaying behind her like a cape. When she’s only a few feet away, I recognize her. Rosie Posie.
She leaps into my open arms. Her giggles echo off the trees. Music to my ears. I spin us around, first slow and then fast. Faster and faster, until everything around me packs into a tight blur.
“Cruiser!” she shrieks, giggling some more.
“Your legs,” I say. It feels like I got hit with a brick. Rosie is walking. Hell, she’s running. She’s moving her legs.
She bangs her fists on my shoulders. “Do it again!”
I yank her closer to me and squeeze.
“Cruiser, you’re squashing me!”
“You can walk, Rosie Pose. Shit, you can walk.”
“What are you talking about? And you said a bad word.” She untangles herself from me and lands on the ground. Dances in a circle. Bends down to grab some leaves and throws them in the air. She twirls around as they fall around her like snow.
I just stand there staring at her like a moron.
“Cruiser?”
A familiar voice. The sweetest voice in the whole world. The one I want to hear for the rest of my life.
Turning around, I see her rushing toward me. She’s like an angel running through the grass, her long, shiny black hair blowing behind her in beautiful waves. My T. Rex. She’s got her Sharkettes uniform on, clutching her poms. I see her in slow motion, how she throws them in the air, leaps off the ground, does a twirl, and catches them in her hands.
Then she’s in my arms. Her lips on mine. I soak her in, her warm lips, her taste, the amazing feelings passing through my body. She’s got so much energy, so much passion, that we crash to the ground. Our lips don’t leave one another. Like they need to be in constant contact every few seconds or else we’ll die.
When we pull apart, I gaze into my girl’s face. See her big, beautiful expressive blue eyes. “She can walk, Lex,” I say.
“Who?”
“Rosie.” I nod at the little girl spinning around, arms spread out, face titled to the sun.
Lex’s eyebrows get all creased. “Of course she can walk. Why shouldn’t she?” She taps one of the poms on my nose. “Come.” She grabs my arm and hauls me to my feet. Then she takes Rosie’s hand. We dance around in the meadow. We laugh. We fall to the ground and roll over each other.