Dr. Dark and Far-Too Delicious

by Carol Marinelli

  Oh, God.

  Jasmine felt sick. Lisa must have heard her say she was thinking of handing her notice in. She should never have said anything to Vanessa; she should have at least spoken to Lisa first.

  Pouring her coffee down the sink, Jasmine was torn.

  She didn’t want to leave, except she felt she had to, and, she told herself, it would be easier all round, but she loved working in Emergency.

  Would Lisa want a decision this morning? Surely this could wait.

  She turned into the offices, ready for a brusque lecture or even a telling-off, ready for anything, except what she saw.

  The registrar’s office door was open and there was Penny.

  Or rather there was Penny, with Jed’s arms around her, oblivious that they had been seen.

  He was holding her so tenderly, his arms wrapped tightly around her, both unaware that Jasmine was standing there. Blinded with tears, she headed for Lisa’s office.

  Her mind made up.

  She had to leave.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ‘I’M SORRY!’ LISA walked in just as Jasmine was blowing her nose and doing her best to stave off tears. ‘I really tried to speak to you first before you found out.’

  So Lisa knew too?

  ‘How are you feeling?’ Lisa asked gently. ‘I know it’s a huge shock, but things are a lot more stable now...’ She paused as Jasmine frowned.

  ‘Stable?’

  ‘Critical, but stable,’ Lisa said, and Jasmine felt her stomach turn, started to realise that she and Lisa were having two entirely separate conversations.

  ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘Lisa, what am I here for?

  ‘You don’t know?’ Lisa checked. ‘You seemed upset...just then, when I came in.’

  ‘Because...’ Because I just saw my sister in Jed’s arms, Jasmine thought, and then she wasn’t thinking anymore, she was panicking, this horrible internal panic that was building as she realised that something was terribly wrong, that maybe what she had seen with Penny and Jed hadn’t been a passionate clinch after all. ‘What’s going on, Lisa?’ Jasmine stood up, more in panic, ready to rush to the door.

  ‘Sit down, Jasmine.’ Lisa was firm.

  ‘Is it Simon?’ Her mind raced to the childcare centre. Had something happened and she hadn’t been informed? Was he out there now, being worked on?

  ‘Simon’s fine,’ Lisa said, and without stopping for breath, realising the panic that not knowing the situation was causing, she told Jasmine, ‘Your mum’s been brought into the department.’

  Jasmine shook her head.

  ‘She’s very sick, Jasmine, but at the moment she’s stable. She was brought in in full cardiac arrest.’

  ‘When?’ She stood to rush out there.

  ‘Just hold on a minute, Jasmine. You need to be calm before you speak to your mum. We’re stabilising her, but she needs to go up to the cath lab urgently and will most likely need a stent or bypass.’

  ‘When?’ Jasmine couldn’t take it in. She’d only been gone twenty minutes, and then she remembered the patient being whizzed in, Lisa taking over and calling Mr Dean, Penny calling for Jed’s assistance.

  ‘Penny?’ Her mind flew to her sister. ‘Did Penny see her when she came in?’

  ‘She had to work on your mum.’ Lisa explained what had happened as gently as she could. ‘Jed was caught up with the meningococcal child and I didn’t want you finding out that way either—unfortunately, I needed you to be working.’

  Jasmine nodded. That much she understood. The last thing she would have needed at that critical time in Resus was a doctor and a nurse breaking down before help had been summoned.

  ‘And Penny told me to get you out of the way.’ Jasmine looked up. ‘She told me you were her younger sister and that you were not to find out the same way she had... She was amazing,’ Lisa said. ‘Once she got over the initial shock, she just...’ Lisa gave a wide-eyed look of admiration. ‘She worked on your mother the same way she would any patient—she gave her the very best of care. Your mum was in VF and she was defibrillated twice. By the time Mr Dean took over, your mum was back with us.’

  ‘Oh, God,’ Jasmine moaned and this time when she stood, nothing would have stopped her. It wasn’t to her mother she raced but to next door, where Penny sat slumped in a chair. Jed was holding a drink of water for her. And to think she’d begrudged her sister that embrace. No wonder Jed had been holding her, and Jasmine rushed to do the same.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Penny.’

  She cuddled her sister, who just sat there, clearly still in shock. ‘It must have been a nightmare.’

  Penny nodded. ‘I didn’t want you to see her like that.’

  She had always been in awe of Penny, always felt slightly less, but she looked at her sister through different eyes, saw the brave, strong woman she was, who had shielded the more sensitive one from their parents’ rows, had always told her things would be okay.

  That she’d deal with it.

  And she had. Again.

  ‘It’s my fault,’ Penny grimaced. ‘Yesterday she was ever so quiet and she said she had indigestion. It must have been chest pain.’

  ‘Penny.’ Jasmine had been thinking the same, but hearing her sister say it made her realise there and then what a pointless route that was. ‘I had indigestion yesterday. We all did. You know what Mum’s Sunday dinners are like.’

  ‘I know.’

  Jasmine looked up at Jed. His face was pale and he gave her a very thin smile. ‘I’m sorry to hear about your mum,’ he said, and then he looked from Jasmine to Penny and then back again. ‘I had no idea.’

  ‘Well, how could you have?’ Penny said, and then turned to Jasmine. ‘Can you go and see Mum? I can’t face it just yet, but one of us should be there.’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘She’ll be scared,’ Penny warned. ‘Not that she’ll show it.’

  ‘Come on,’ Jed said. ‘I’ll take you round to her.’

  Once they walked out of the door he asked what he had to. ‘Jasmine, why didn’t you say?’

  ‘She’d made me promise not to.’

  ‘But even so...’

  ‘I can’t think about that now, Jed.’

  ‘Come on.’ He put his arm round her and led her into her mum’s room, and even if it was what he would do with any colleague, even if she no longer wanted him, she was glad to have him there strong and firm beside her as she saw her mum, the strongest, most independent person she knew, with possibly the exception of her elder sister, strapped to machines and looking very small and fragile under a white sheet.

  ‘Hey, Mum.’

  Jasmine took her hand.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Louise said, but for once her voice was very weak and thin.

  ‘It’s hardly your fault. Don’t be daft.’

  ‘No.’ She was impatient, despite the morphine, desperate to get everything in order before she went to surgery. ‘I haven’t been much support.’

  ‘Mum!’ Jasmine shook her head. ‘You’ve been wonderful.’

  ‘No.’ She could see tears in her mum’s eyes. ‘Most grandmothers drop everything to help with their grandchildren.’

  ‘Mum,’ Jasmine interrupted. ‘You can stop right there. I’m glad you’re not like most mums, I’m glad Penny is the way that she is, because otherwise I’d be living at home even now. I’d be dumping everything onto you and not sorting my own stuff out, which I have,’ Jasmine said firmly, and then wavered. ‘Well, almost.’ She smiled at her mum. ‘And that’s thanks to you. I don’t want a mum who fixes everything. I want a mum who helps me fix myself.’

  ‘Can I see Simon?’ She felt her mum squeeze her hand. ‘Or will I scare him?’

  ‘I’ll go now
and get him.’ Before she left, Jasmine looked at Jed.

  ‘I’ll stay.’

  And it meant a lot that he was with her.

  Oh, she knew Mr Dean was around and Vanessa was watching her mother like a hawk, but it wasn’t just for medical reasons it helped to have Jed there.

  She couldn’t think of that now.

  The childcare staff were wonderful when Jasmine told them what was going on. ‘Bring him back when you’re ready.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Jasmine really didn’t know if it would terrify Simon or how he’d react when he saw his nanny, but she knew that the calmer she was the better it would be for Simon. ‘Nanny’s tired,’ Jasmine said as they walked back to the department. ‘She’s having a rest, so we’ll go and give her a kiss.’

  He seemed delighted at the prospect.

  Especially when he saw Penny standing at the bed. Then he turned and saw Jed there and a smile lit up his face.

  ‘Jed!’

  He said it so clearly, there was absolutely no mistake, and Penny’s eyes were wide for a second as she looked at Jed, who stood, and then back at Penny.

  ‘I’ll have to put in a complaint,’ Penny said. ‘The hospital grapevine is getting terribly slack.’

  ‘Tell me about it,’ Jed said, but whatever was going on, whatever questions needed answers, it was all put aside as Simon gave his nanny a kiss and a cuddle. He was amazing, not bothered at all by the tubes and machines, more fascinated by them, if anything, pointing to the cardiac monitor and turning as every drip bleeped. But of course after a few moments he grew restless.

  ‘We’re going to take your mum up to the catheter lab soon,’ Vanessa said. The cardiac surgeon had spoken to them in more detail and her mum had signed the consent form, and it was all too quick and too soon. Jasmine had just got used to the idea that she was terribly ill and now there was surgery to face.

  ‘Can I just take Simon back?’

  ‘Of course.’ And in the few weeks she’d been here, Jasmine found out just how many friends she had made, just how well she was actually doing, thanks to her mum. ‘Tell the crèche that I’ll pick up Simon tonight. He can stay at my place.’

  ‘You’re sure?’ Jasmine checked. ‘I can ring Ruby.’

  ‘It’s fine tonight. You’ll probably be needing Ruby a lot over the next few days. Let me help when I can.’

  The crèche was marvellous too and told Jasmine that she could put Simon in full time for the next couple of weeks, and somehow, somehow Jasmine knew she was coping with a family emergency and single motherhood and work combined.

  And she didn’t want to lose her job, no matter how hard it would be, working alongside Jed.

  Except she couldn’t think about it now.

  Right now, her heart was with her mum, who was being wheeled out of Emergency, a brusque and efficient Penny beside her, telling the porter to go ahead and hold the lifts, snapping at Vanessa for not securing the IV pole properly, barking at everyone and giving out orders as she did each and every day, while still managing to hold her mum’s hand as she did so.

  And her heart wasn’t just with her mum.

  It was with her big sister too.

  The time sitting in the Theatre waiting room brought them possibly the closest they had ever been.

  ‘Is that why you were asking about Jed and I?’

  They were two hours into waiting for the surgery to finish, an hour of panic, ringing around friends and family, and then an hour of angst-filled silence, and then, because you could only sit on a knife edge for so long, because sometimes you needed distracting, Penny asked the question that was starting to filter into both their minds.

  ‘For all the good it did me.’ Jasmine smiled. ‘How come we don’t gossip?’

  ‘I never gossip,’ Penny said. ‘I don’t do the girly thing and...’ Her voice trailed off and she thought for a moment, realising perhaps how impossible for her sister this had been. ‘You could have asked me, Jasmine.’

  ‘What if I didn’t like the answer?’ Jasmine’s eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t start crying again. She’d shed more tears since her mother had gone to Theatre than she had in a long time.

  ‘You’re still not asking me.’

  Jasmine shook her head, because if the truth were known she was scared to. Not just for what it would do to her but what the truth might mean for her sister.

  ‘Nothing has ever happened between Jed and I.’

  Jasmine felt as if a chest drain had been inserted, or what she imagined it must feel like, because it felt as if for the first time in days, for the first time since Vanessa had inadvertently dropped the bomb, her lungs expanded fully, the shallow breaths of guilt and fear replaced by a deep breath in.

  ‘Nothing,’ Penny said. ‘Not a single kiss, I promise you.’ And Jasmine could now breathe out. ‘Who said that there was something going on between us?’

  ‘It’s common knowledge apparently, though I only heard this week. My friend couldn’t believe that I hadn’t notice the tension between you two.’

  ‘The only tension between us,’ Penny continued, ‘is who might get the promotion.’

  ‘I thought you were worried about getting it and upsetting Jed.’

  Penny just laughed. ‘Worrying about upsetting or upstaging Jed Devlin is the furthest thing from my mind—believe me. Do I look like someone who would step aside from a promotion for a man?’ She actually laughed at the very thought.

  ‘No,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘But you did say you weren’t sure if you wanted the job...’

  ‘Right now I’m not even thinking about work, I just want Mum to get well, that’s as far as I can think today. You have nothing to worry about with Jed and I.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘It clearly did.’

  But Jasmine shook her head. ‘I’m just glad I haven’t hurt you—Jed and I are finished.’

  ‘Jasmine!’

  But Jasmine was through worrying about Jed. She didn’t have the head space to even think about him right now. ‘Let’s just worry about Mum for now, huh?’

  * * *

  ‘How is she?’ Lisa asked when an extremely weary Jasmine made her way down to Emergency the next morning.

  ‘She’s had a really good night,’ Jasmine said. ‘They’re going to get her out of bed for a little while this morning, can you believe?’

  ‘They don’t waste any time these days.’ Lisa smiled. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Tired,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘I’m sorry to mess you around with the roster.’

  ‘Well, you can hardly help what happened. Have you got time to go through it now—did you want the rest of the week off?’

  Jasmine shook her head. ‘I was actually hoping to come in to work tomorrow—Penny’s going to stay with her today and I’ll come back this evening, but I’d rather start back at work as soon as possible. I might need some time off when she comes out, though.’

  ‘We’ll sort something out,’ Lisa said. ‘We’re very accommodating here, not like the fracture clinic.’ Lisa winked.

  ‘Sorry about that.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it for now. We’ll have a chat when you’re up to it.’

  ‘Actually,’ Jasmine said, ‘do you have time for a chat now?’

  She sat in Lisa’s office and, because she’d got a lot of her crying out when she’d told Jed, Jasmine managed to tell Lisa what had happened with her ex-husband without too many tears, and was actually incredibly relieved when she had.

  ‘You didn’t need to tell me this,’ Lisa said. ‘But I’m very glad that you did. I’d rather hear it from you first and it’s a good lesson to us all about being less careless with patients’ property. I can see why you panicked now. Anyway...’ she smiled, ‘...you can stop worryi
ng about it now.’

  Finally she could, and only then did Jasmine fully realise how much it had been eating at her, how much energy she had put towards worrying about it, running from it.

  ‘Go home to bed,’ Lisa said.

  ‘I will. But I just need to have a quick word with Vanessa, if that’s okay?’

  Vanessa was one burning blush when they met. ‘Simon’s been fantastic. He’s tucked up in the crèche now and I can have him again tonight if you like.’

  ‘I’ll be fine tonight.’

  ‘Well, why don’t I pick him when my shift’s finished and bring him home to you?’ Vanessa offered, and as Jasmine thanked her she suddenly cringed. ‘Jasmine, I am so embarrassed.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘All the terrible things I said about Penny. I could just die. I keep going over and over them and then I remember another awful thing I said.’

  Jasmine laughed. ‘Believe me, you weren’t the only one, and you told me nothing about Penny that I didn’t already know—Penny too, for that matter. It’s fine, I promise.’

  ‘Me and my mouth!’ Vanessa grimaced.

  ‘Forget it.’ Jasmine smiled. ‘Anyway, I’m going to go home to bed, and thank you so much for your help with Simon. I’m just going to pop in and give him a kiss.’

  ‘Jasmine.’ Just as he had on the first day they had met, Jed called her as she went to head out of the department. ‘Can I have a word?’

  ‘I’m really tired, Jed.’

  ‘Five minutes.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Somewhere private.’

  They settled for one of the interview rooms.

  ‘How is your mum?’

  ‘Getting there.’

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘A lot better than yesterday,’ Jasmine said. ‘I’m really tired, though.’

  ‘Of course.’ He took a breath. ‘You should have told me that you and Penny were sisters,’ Jed said.

  ‘You didn’t exactly give me much chance.’

  ‘Before that.’