Seeking the Future

by Brenda Kennedy

  I don’t look at him; I glare at Ava. She doesn’t make eye contact, so I glare at Chase instead. He knows I’m pissed. I would never have done something like this to Ava. Okay, well, the online dating was a distraction for the blind date with her long-lost love. Everything I did was for the benefit of Ava. But this, having Drew show up for breakfast this morning, was not for my benefit.

  I hide my anger from the other guests. I’ll deal with him, Ava, and Chase when the last guest leaves. The conversation at the table flows freely since no one is talking but the house guests. Suddenly, Chase and Ava have nothing to say. Ava intentionally avoids eye contact with me. She should.

  Deciding to play their game, I decide to start up a conversation with Drew. “So what brings you to the area?” I ask with a fake smile on my lips.

  He looks at the woman sitting next to him. “She’s talking to you,” she whispers.

  Drew looks up with a surprised look on his face. “Me?” he asks, pointing a finger at himself.

  “Yes, you.” I want to chuckle, but I keep a straight expression. He’s just as cute as I remember. His hair is growing out and his curls are back. His bangs are longer and hang slightly in his eyes. I just want to reach up and brush them away.

  “I’m here on business,” he says flatly.

  I can tell he’s uncomfortable, so I continue. “What kind of business?” I ask, taking a bite of my sausage.

  He readjust himself in his seat. “I’m starting a new business near Tybee Island.”

  I can see the other guests are now interested in our conversation. “I hope it’s not a teahouse,” I tease. “Ava and I may have some competition out there we don’t know about.” Ava looks at me and smiles.

  Drew also smiles, “No, no teahouse and no competition. Just a friendly place to have a cocktail after a day on the beach.”

  I decide to let him know I was looking for him yesterday. I really do like watching him squirm. “I was over by there yesterday looking for an old friend. That isn’t your boat I saw set up, is it?” I know damn good and well it is.

  “It is.” He smiles and says, “My girlfriend and I designed the boat to be an outside bar.” I can tell he’s getting more comfortable with my game. He continues, “My girlfriend is actually quite brilliant.” He looks around the room to see who all is listening to our conversation. He now has attracted the attention of everyone. “She came up with the name of the bar to honor my late brother.”

  I’m sad as I recall the night he’s talking about. We were in my room, he was designing the boat, and I was thinking up names for it. We both knew right away when I said the name that it was the one. We celebrated by making love. My heart hurts at the thought.

  “What’s the name of it?” a guest asks. “We’ll have to stop by for a drink the next time we’re in the area.”

  “Xander’s Port Side Cocktails,” he says proudly. “I hope to have it up and running next week. Currently, I’m still in the process of setting it up for business.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your brother,” someone says.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that,” Drew says. “He was a boating enthusiast. The name suits him and his memory well.”

  My heart softens at the memory of Xander. Not only was he a boating enthusiast, but he was a best-selling author. He also was one of the kindest men I have ever met. He fought his cancer battle with dignity, and he is truly missed. I swipe away the tears before they fall. Xander’s presence is missed daily.

  “I can’t wait to see the finished product, Drew,” Ava says.

  “We’ll have a dedication before it’s opened for business. I’d like for y’all to come. I’ll let you know when it’ll be. I’m meeting with City Hall tomorrow so I should have a date set shortly after.” Drew is now looking at me and not at Ava. “I’d really like for you to come to the dedication. It would mean a lot to me.”

  The lump in my throat prevents me from speaking. I nod instead. This entire conversation started off with me trying to make him uncomfortable. It didn’t take long for it to backfire on me. When I find my voice, I say, “Please excuse me.” I stand to leave and Drew also stands. I can feel him watching me as I exit the room.

  When I get to my bedroom, I cry. I cry because Xander died before he was supposed to, I cry because Drew is here, and I cry because the love of my life is in the other room and I can’t be with him. My bedroom door opens slowly. Without looking up, I say. “Go away, Ava, I’m still pissed at you.”

  “It’s not Ava, babe.” My heart stops at the sound of Drew calling me babe. I don’t look up, I can’t look at him. “God, please, Skylar. I need you. I’m sorry. I don’t want to go another day without you.”

  I close my eyes and let the tears flow freely. My heart hurts, and I’m tired of pretending to be fine. I’m broken without him. I feel like I’m half the person I used to be. Here he is, in my bedroom, declaring the same things I’m feeling. So why am I fighting him?

  He kneels down in front of me and says, “Please, Skylar, I love you. I want you. I’m a better person with you. Let me show you I’m serious.”

  I do the only thing I can. I close my eyes and cry.

  Ava

  Seeing the sad look on Skylar’s face, I knew I made a mistake by letting Drew stay here at the inn. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, and that is exactly what I’ve done. When I stand to follow her, Chase reaches for my arm. We both remain seated and watch as Drew leaves the table in the direction of our living quarters. Maybe when she kicks him out, he’ll leave through the back of the inn so I don’t have to see his sadness.

  When the last guest leaves, Chase and I begin the clean up. Skylar’s bedroom door is closed and as much as I want to check on her, I don’t. Maybe she needs a good cry. I just hope depression doesn’t control her life. She’s worked so hard trying to make the changes in her life to move forward without Drew. I’d hate to think I’m the cause of her setback. I decide I’ll give her until dinner to wallow in self-pity, then I’ll talk to her.

  When everything is cleaned up and we still haven’t seen Skylar, I decide I may need more than an apology. I sent Chase out with a grocery list of all of Skylar’s favorite foods. He makes me lock the doors for fear that Brett might be lurking in the shadows. I honestly don’t fear him much anymore. I’m not the person I once was, and I honestly feel sorrier for him than I do for myself. I think I could actually cause physical harm to him if I had to. I’m not sure where my courage comes from, but I like not being the scared girl I once was.

  While Chase is at the grocery store, I make Skylar a homemade cheesecake. Today is our baking day, but fortunately we baked in the winter months when we were slow, so we have a stockpile of things in the freezer for days like today, when we don’t feel like baking.

  Chase and I make chicken and dumplings for dinner, and I’m thrilled when I see Drew and Skylar come out of her bedroom smiling. My heart does a happy dance. I had no idea he was in here. I guess the walls aren’t as thin as I once thought they were. I look at Chase before looking back at Drew and Skylar. I have a million things I want to say, but I don’t say anything. I wait impatiently for one of them to say something, anything.

  “We’re engaged,” Drew finally says.

  “Shut up!” I shout.

  “No, it’s true,” Skylar says, waving her left hand in front of her. On her ring finger is a huge diamond ring.

  I rush to her and hug her. My friend is finally happy, and she’s getting the happiness she deserves. I don’t need to ask her if she’s ready for marriage or if she’s sure Drew’s the one. I’ve witnessed her misery the last few months. I know her sadness of being without him.

  “When is the wedding?” I ask.

  Chase is congratulating Drew.

  “We’re not sure yet.” Drew holds Skylar’s hand and looks lovingly at her. “I want to get married tomorrow, but Skylar wants to wait.”

  “Wow. I guess we have some planning to do. Let’s eat and we’ll talk ove
r dinner.”

  During dinner Skylar tells us that when they do decide on a date, she’d like to get married in the backyard of the inn. I think it’s a great idea. Right now, the gardens are in full bloom and it’s such a beautiful, tranquil spot for a wedding. The inn is where their relationship started, so it seems only fitting to have the wedding here. This day is ending better than it started.

  Drew said he isn’t picky about the wedding. He said as long as Skylar’s there, it’s all he cares about. I believe him. It’s the exact same way I felt when Chase and I got married. I could have married him at the courthouse in my pajamas and I would have been just as happy. That’s when you know it’s true love. Do Bridezillas know true love? I’m glad that Chase took charge of our wedding plans. Our wedding was nothing shy of spectacular. The Vegas wedding was small and intimate, and I wouldn’t change one thing about it.

  Drew says, “I’d like to have an early evening wedding with lots of twinkling white lights everywhere.”

  “It’s your wedding, you can have it whenever you want. As soon as you guys set the date, we’ll start making the plans.”

  When we go to bed, Chase and I talk about their engagement. “This was a pretty exciting weekend,” Chase says as he rests his hand on my slightly growing belly.

  “It was.”

  He leans in and kisses my stomach. “When do you think our little one will start kicking?”

  “Maybe in another month.” I gently stroke my belly. “It’s funny how things work out.”

  “For us or for them?”

  “For all of us. You and I are married with a baby on the way. Skylar and Drew are engaged.”

  “And Brett is still stalking Nichole.”

  That sentence brings me back to reality. “I’d like that to change in the near future.”

  “Me, too. I’ll see what I can do tomorrow. Maybe something was missed with the investigation with Lorraine’s death.”

  I shiver at the thought of him being responsible for her death. Like father, like son. She left a suicide note, not sure what could have been missed. Connor wrecked our car on purpose with the intent to kill me. I’m happy his plan backfired, taking his life and sparing mine.

  “We’ll get him,” Chase says.

  I want to believe him. I’m scared of what can and will happen if they don’t. Brett won’t stop until he’s got what he wants. Well, not unless someone stops him.

  “Before we go to bed, I think we should delete the online dating account we started for Skylar.”

  Chase reached for his laptop. “Great idea. It could cause problems for the happy couple.” A few minutes later he closes his computer. “Done.”

  The next day after breakfast, Chase goes to work and Drew and Skylar leave to check on his boat at Tybee Island. I stay at the inn and clean up after breakfast and set up for the afternoon tea. The tea is my favorite part of the day. I love setting it up and working it. I text Chase and remind him to meet me at the doctor’s office at 3:00. We needed a late appointment since he has a late court appearance. I have some time, so I walk back to the carriage house to see the improvements. I’m anxious to get it finished so we can get moved in. Chase and I haven’t bought anything for the baby, but it hasn’t stopped me from looking for things online. We don’t have a preference of the gender. We’ll be thrilled with whatever God gives us. The workers left for their lunch break so I can go through each room and take my time without feeling like I am in their way.

  I love what I’m seeing. I spend more time in the nursery than I intended. It’s such a special room. This baby is loved already, although it isn’t even born yet. I can envision where the bed, changing table, and dresser will go. This is already my favorite room in the house. I’m just barely over three months, putting me in my second trimester and out of the miscarriage stage. In less than six months, Chase and I will have a tiny baby to bless this home. I have never been happier.

  As I close the door to the carriage house, someone calls my name.

  Chase

  Using hand-free calling, I call Nichole on my way to court to make sure everything’s okay at the bakery. It is. I feel better knowing that Rachael is there with her. I end the call when I get an incoming call from Skylar. “Hey.”

  “Chase, get to the hospital. It’s Ava.”

  I waste no time turning the car around. “Is it the baby?” God, please say no.

  “It’s bad, just hurry,” she says before the call disconnects.

  My heart races to the beat of the rapidly climbing speedometer. The faster I drive, the faster my heart beats. Her words replay over and over in my head. “It’s bad… it’s bad… it’s bad.” How bad is it? I plan for the worse. When I asked about the baby, she didn’t answer me. It must be the baby. Is it possible to love something you’ve never seen? The answer is yes. It is possible. I prepare myself for a miscarriage. Ava? How is she? Will we be able to recover from the loss? Yes. I’ll make sure of it. We’ll plan for another baby right away. Not that a new baby can replace this baby, because it can’t. Nothing can. I just need to focus on Ava. My heart hurts at the thought of losing the baby. Our baby. Then Brett runs through my mind. Ava’s in her second trimester. She’s out of the miscarriage stage. Oh my God. Did Brett hurt Ava? I speed faster to the hospital.

  I park and run into the hospital. The first thing I see is Drew, Skylar, Claire, and Marshall pacing the waiting area. The second thing I notice is the amount of security in the waiting room. I suddenly realize this is more than a miscarriage. “What the hell happened?” I demand. When I see the tears in Marshall’s eyes, my feet freeze in place. I don’t recall a time where I’ve ever seen him cry.

  “It’s Brett. He’s hurt her,” Claire says.

  “What? How?”

  The blood rushes to my head, clogging my ears and blurring my vision. The only words I can make out are “miscarriage,” “liquid,” and “possible blindness.” I sit as we wait. A million things run through my mind. My failure at not protecting her is what I focus on the most. I failed to protect Ava and our child. Skylar and Claire’s cries echo throughout the E.R. waiting room. Marshall and I exchange looks. He’s thinking the exact same thing I am. I learn that Ava was attacked outside of the inn and was able to make it inside to call for help before collapsing. That’s when Skylar and Drew found her. I also learn that Brett was apprehended and is sitting in a jail cell. I feel better knowing that he’s off the street, at least for today.

  “I need to see her.”

  Marshall says in a soft voice, “They’ll get us when they’re done.”

  Done? Done with what?

  Nichole runs into the hospital, crying. She’s alone so I’m assuming that Rachael stayed behind to care for little Connor. The less he knows and understands, the better. I can’t stand or comfort her; I’m barely holding it together myself. Marshall is the only one I look at. I can’t bear to see the devastating looks on Claire’s, Skylar’s, and Nichole’s faces. I’m filled with sadness and rage. I’m mourning a baby I never knew. Murder. Brett has committed murder. Cold. Blooded. Murder. He killed my child. I pray that Ava will be okay before I make promises to kill Brett with my bare hands. I can’t pray to God and plan a murder at the same time. God will surely look the other way, and right now, I need Him.

  When Nichole hears what happened to Ava, she cries, “I should have killed him when I had the chance. I could have easily killed him in his sleep. If I had, Ava wouldn’t be…” she stops and her words are replaced with sobs.

  The doctor comes out and tells us what he knows. Ava was assaulted outside of the carriage house. The kicks she sustained to her abdomen are what caused the near instantaneous miscarriage. Some unknown substance was thrown in her face, causing what they hope is only temporary blindness. They aren’t sure what chemical was used. She was able to make it into the house and call for help.

  “When will you know whether the blindness is temporary?”

  “We should know tomorrow.”

  “
And what about the chemical? When will you know the substance that was thrown?” Marshall asks.

  “In a day or two. We’re giving her eye drops every hour on the hour, alternating between two medicated eye drops. We placed white gauze over both eyes, simulating an eye patch to let her eyes rest.”

  I ask, “Does she have any vision right now?”

  “Her vision was blurry when she came in. We’ll know more tomorrow.”

  “I have to see her.”

  “You will. She also has first-degree burns on her face and neck from whatever chemical was thrown on her.”

  I know that first-degree burns are minor and probably won’t cause scarring. I am very thankful they aren’t third degree. Skylar’s a nurse, I need to ask her about the chemicals. She’ll be honest with me. Maybe she could identify the chemical by smell.

  I follow the doctor into Ava’s room, not sure and not caring who is behind me. My baby is gone and my wife is in the hospital. The love I feel for her consumes me, causing my rage to boil. Is it possible to feel both love for Ava and hatred for Brett at the same time? My mind is clearly planning my next move. There’s no confusion about what I’ll be doing at 8:00 am. Brett will have court and I’ll be right there to make sure he is remanded to jail without bond. On second thought, maybe I’ll post his bond, and let him have his short-lived freedom. I could drop the charges and take care of him myself. I think I like that idea better. If I punish him, I’ll make sure he gets what he deserves.

  Shock stuns me when I see Ava lying in bed with gauze covering both eyes. She doesn’t know I’m in the room so I clear my throat to alert her. She stirs and I’m reminded of when she was in the coma. “Hi, princess.” I walk right to her and bend down and kiss her. Her lip quivers as she kisses me. I try to ignore the burns on her face and neck. She doesn’t smell like my Ava. Her vanilla and cranberry scent is replaced with something I can’t distinguish. Cleaner? Antiseptic? Lighter fluid? God, I hope not. I take her hand in mine and kiss it. “I love you, princess,” I finally say. Her mom and dad walk on the other side of the bed. Her lip quivers as she tries to speak. I want to look away, but I can’t. I know what she wants to say. I don’t want to hear the words. I don’t want her to tell me our baby is gone. Please don’t say it, I plead to myself. I’m so thankful her life was spared. To lose my baby and Ava would certainly put me over the edge. I would have nothing to live for if God had taken her, too.