Mishaps in Millrise: Parts 1-4 in one book – plus a little extra…

by Tennant, Tilly

  There was the sound of another car engine from outside, and the toot of a rather more staid horn. Phoebe rolled her eyes theatrically at Jack. ‘We might actually get to start work in a minute.’

  ‘Hello!’ Phoebe’s dad said a few moments later from the doorway.

  Geraint shot him a huge grin. ‘At last. We thought you were going to skive off and leave us to do everything.’

  ‘As if I would, lad,’ Hugh returned with a grin of his own. He turned to Phoebe. ‘Where do I plug the kettle in?’ He held up a box which clearly contained a kettle he had bought on the way over. Phoebe laughed and nodded her head at a connecting doorway. ‘Trust you, Dad! The kitchen is through there but I warn you, it’s not pretty.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll do just fine.’ Hugh went off in the direction of the door, pulling the box open as he did. Phoebe mused momentarily on what the state of their tap water might be, but she knew the previous occupant had lived there quite happily on it well into her nineties, and her dad was boiling it too. Still…

  Her thoughts were interrupted by Midnight.

  ‘So, an old lady owned this house?’

  ‘Yes, Edna, I think her name was.’ Phoebe glanced around, as if she might somehow catch Edna on the stairs looking down at them. Would she have approved of the family who had bought her home, and their plans to change it? ‘She spent her whole life here, but she never married so had no immediate family. The relatives who inherited it didn’t want to live here when she died, so they decided to sell. I suppose it didn’t have the same emotional connection for them.’

  ‘They probably didn’t have the bank balance to make it habitable either,’ Jack put in.

  ‘Neither did old Edna by the looks of it,’ Midnight said.

  ‘Neither do we, when it comes down to a dose of reality,’ Phoebe returned.

  ‘No…’ Midnight said, ‘But you do have lots of people to turn to for help.’ She threw a saucy wink at Geraint, who had become so quiet they had almost forgotten he was still there. His expression changed from one of silent awe to an almost violent blush. All he needed was his eyes to pop out accompanied by the sound of a klaxon and his heart beating from his chest, and the image of a lovesick cartoon character would be complete. Midnight turned to Phoebe, seemingly oblivious to the effect she was having on Geraint, but Phoebe knew her better than that. ‘Come on, hot stuff, show me around this dump so I can get the creative juices flowing.’

  Phoebe turned to Jack but he waved them on. ‘Don’t mind us. We’ll just get on with manly graft down here while you two swan about and talk about curtains.’

  ‘Oi!’ Phoebe cried, ‘less of that you cheeky pig!’ Jack grinned at her and she poked her tongue out in return. ‘We’ll be getting our hands dirty, just the same as you.’

  ‘Probably dirtier,’ Midnight added, looking very deliberately at Geraint again. Phoebe wondered if she’d have to call an ambulance if Midnight didn’t stop the barrage of outrageous, but carefully careless, flirting. She was clearly enjoying her power over Geraint, whereas Geraint probably hadn’t been this sexually close to a woman since he’d last watched topless darts on a late night cable channel.

  ‘Come on…’ Phoebe said, taking her friend by the arm with a knowing smile. Midnight was grinning broadly as they walked through the hallway towards the first set of stairs.

  The house was rather a quaint design, which was one of the things that had eventually swayed Phoebe as she and Jack had discussed, and sometimes argued over, buying it. As Phoebe understood it, there had once been two separate terraced cottages on the site that had at some point been knocked through to create one home. So the building now mirrored itself from the middle outwards. A large front entrance that would once have been two front doors led to two a broad set of stairs. There were identical rooms to the left and right of the house, though some now served different functions to those originally intended. The two kitchens at the back had now been knocked into one enormous space, one of the living rooms remained, whilst its partner was now a study. It was all very cute and quirky, and Phoebe already knew that she’d love living here.

  ‘You never said that Geraint was such a Wookie,’ Midnight said as they climbed up to the first floor.

  ‘Wookie?’

  ‘Yeah, you know, giant and hairy.’

  Phoebe giggled. ‘I’ve thought of him as a lot of things but never as a Star Wars character.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind a look at his rocket,’ Midnight added.

  ‘What!’ Phoebe squeaked. ‘You’re terrible!’

  ‘Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it during an idle half hour. After all, he’s got to be hung like a racehorse.’

  Phoebe lowered her voice. ‘I’ll bet he doesn’t know what to do with it though.’

  ‘That’s easily remedied,’ Midnight said carelessly.

  Phoebe stopped on the stairs. ‘Tell me you’re not serious.’

  Midnight shrugged. ‘He’s single, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, but…’

  ‘And I’m single. It’s just two lonely people coming together.’

  ‘Literally?’ Phoebe raised her eyebrows. ‘I don’t think he’s into one night stands. He wants marriage, kids… the whole nine yards.’

  ‘Hmmmm, I wouldn’t mind his whole nine yards.’

  ‘He’d want more than that.’

  ‘Maybe I would too.’

  ‘You? Settle down? I’d like to see that happen any time this century.’

  ‘Everyone wants a soulmate eventually.’

  Phoebe shook her head. ‘I just don’t see it. You and he are so opposite.’ She was thoughtful for a moment. ‘You really think he’s good looking?’

  ‘Yeah. I think when the novelty of riding his Apollo 11 wears out I could still fancy the pilot.’

  ‘You’re full of surprises, that’s for sure,’ Phoebe muttered as she continued up the stairs.

  As they reached the top step, there was a loud crack from down below. It was quickly followed by a shout.

  ‘HUGH!’

  Phoebe’s smile became a look of grave alarm. Without a word, she and Midnight raced downstairs again and into the kitchen, where Hugh was prone on the floor with Jack and Geraint bent over him.

  ‘What happened?’ Phoebe cried.

  ‘I’m alright,’ Hugh said, looking dazed nonetheless. ‘The plug blew when I switched the kettle on.’

  ‘You were electrocuted!’

  ‘Nothing that dramatic,’ he said with a grimace. ‘The electrics threw a little tantrum, that’s all. I don’t know what your old lady used the electricity for, but it wasn’t to boil cheap kettles from Argos, that’s for sure, otherwise she’d have been dead twenty years earlier.’

  Phoebe shared a pained expression with Jack. She guessed he was thinking the same thing as her. No reliable electricity supply was going to make renovations a lot more difficult and dangerous. So it would change the priority of their work schedule and therefore affect their budget.

  Geraint pulled Hugh to his feet and dusted him down.

  ‘Don’t fret,’ Hugh said. ‘We’ll have a word after the battle on Sunday and see if any of the lads know a good sparky to come and have a look at what needs doing and give you a decent price.’

  Geraint nodded agreement. ‘I think John Pink’s lad is an electrician, actually.’

  Phoebe chewed on her lip as she stared at the offending plug socket. ‘Are you sure you’re alright, Dad?’ she asked, turning to him. He’d suffered a minor heart attack the previous New Year and although he’d recovered well she was pretty sure an electric shock wasn’t going to do his delicate ticker much good.

  ‘I’m fine,’ he insisted. He glanced around and lowered his voice. ‘Just don’t tell your mum about this, eh?’

  Phoebe nodded. Much as she didn’t like the idea, the fact was that her mum’s worrying would be twenty times more stressful to his heart than this accident. It was probably for the best.

  ‘Right…’ Midnight announce
d brightly, ‘it looks like one of us will have to drive to the nearest Starbucks, then.’

  *

  The next morning Phoebe couldn’t believe the pain. Parts of her body ached that that she never knew could ache. Her eyes were sore, her fingers and hands were covered in blisters, and she could still taste plaster dust, despite brushing her teeth three times before bed. But as she stood in front of the old wreck of a house again, she was happy. It was their old wreck, and soon it would be their home. Jack snuck up behind and curled his arms around her waist, raining light kisses on her neck. That familiar tingle fizzed up and down her spine.

  ‘Ready for another day of fun?’ he whispered.

  She turned to him with a wry smile. ‘You and I have very different ideas about what constitutes fun.’

  ‘Probably,’ he laughed. ‘What time did your dad say he was coming over?’

  ‘I’m not so sure he should be coming back after yesterday. He’s still got to take it easy and apart from getting electrocuted he also worked far harder than he ought to.’

  ‘I know, but he wouldn’t hear of sitting it out, would he? If it makes you feel better, I can have a quiet word with Geraint; between us we’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything too strenuous.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Phoebe reached round to kiss him. She gave him a cheeky smile as another thought occurred to her. ‘Speaking of Geraint… what about him and Midnight?’

  Jack laughed. ‘Geraint may be big and tough looking but he’s no match for her.’

  ‘Who is? But I really think she fancies him. He definitely fancies her.’

  ‘Even I could see that a mile off.’

  ‘He’ll never do anything about it though.’

  ‘You’re too sweet, you know that? You can’t fix everyone’s lives and you can’t make everyone happy. Geraint will find his Miss Right and you shouldn’t feel bad that it wasn’t you.’

  ‘What you’re saying is that I should leave well alone?’

  ‘Yes, no matter how tempted you are to meddle. Besides, Midnight is hardly backwards at coming forwards. If she wants Geraint she won’t need any help getting him.’ He pulled Phoebe closer. ‘Enough of that, you didn’t answer my question.’

  ‘Which one?’

  ‘The one about what time your dad was due to arrive.’

  ‘About ten. Why?’

  ‘Because we have an empty house standing here and I don’t believe we’ve christened it yet.’

  Phoebe raised her eyebrows. ‘The place is filthy! Where, exactly, do you suggest we perform this act?’

  Jack grinned. ‘I have no idea, but I’m willing to get creative if you are. Just think, you could scream the place down without worrying about disturbing the kids.’

  ‘What about disturbing the neighbourhood?’

  ‘The nearest neighbour is miles away… come on, let’s live a little…’

  *

  Phoebe was feeling distinctly guilty by the time the electrician her dad had texted her about the previous evening arrived on site. Another few minutes and they might have been caught – Jack literally – with their trousers down. She shot a look at Jack, who merely returned it with a broad grin before he strode over to the van and leaned into the open driver’s window.

  ‘Martin?’ he asked, sticking his hand out in greeting. The man gave an amiable nod before taking Jack’s hand in a firm shake.

  ‘At your service.’

  Jack moved back to let him step out of the van, the electrician gazing up at the house frontage. ‘Hugh says it might be a big job.’ Martin gave a low whistle. ‘Nice place though.’

  ‘It will be, we hope. Right now we feel like a couple of nutters.’

  ‘I don’t blame you. I’ve been to worse, though.’

  ‘And they’ve managed to turn things around?’

  Martin grinned at him. ‘Mostly. Still, I’d be out of business without nutters like you so who am I to complain?’ He gave Phoebe a nod. ‘How are you, love? Haven’t seen you in a while.’

  ‘I don’t get down to the battles as often as I used to. You know how it is, kids to look after, bombsite to restore…’

  ‘I know what you mean. So, do you want to show me what needs doing?’

  ‘Jack?’ Phoebe asked, ‘Could you just show Martin? I need to make a quick phone call and then I’ll be right with you.’

  ‘No problem.’ Jack led the way while Phoebe pulled out her phone. Her dad was late, and while it was possibly a good thing, it wasn’t like him. She hoped he hadn’t overdone things the previous day and made himself ill. Though she was sure she’d have received vociferous complaints from her mum if that was the case, she wanted to check just the same.

  ‘Mum…’ she began as Martha answered, ‘Dad’s not here yet. Is everything ok?’

  ‘Yes, fine. He’s been trying to get hold of Geraint all morning, that’s all.’

  ‘Geraint?’

  ‘He told your father he had a day off today and was happy to come and help out at your place again. Your dad was calling to offer him a lift to save taking two cars but he hasn’t been able to get hold of him and he’s a bit concerned about it.’

  ‘That’s not like Geraint,’ Phoebe said.

  ‘That’s what your dad said. Anyway, he’s had to leave a message on the answer phone and he’s on his way now without the big daft lump.’

  ‘Mum!’ Phoebe laughed.

  ‘Well, he’s got everyone worrying about him and it’s probably something and nothing.’

  ‘Won’t his mum know where he is?’

  ‘She thinks he’s already gone out, says she hasn’t seen him at all this morning so assumed he went out first thing.’

  ‘Or he never went home last night,’ Phoebe murmured, more to herself than her mum. If Geraint was where Phoebe was beginning to think he was, she had to be impressed. Midnight really did go out and get what she wanted and to hell with the consequences. But the consequences did worry Phoebe. Geraint was a gentle soul, a little wet behind the ears for his age and not very experienced when it came to women. Midnight, on the other hand… Phoebe just hoped Geraint wasn’t going to get hurt.

  ‘I can’t see that,’ Martha said, interrupting her thoughts. ‘Will we see you later for tea?’

  ‘Maybe, depends what time we finish here today.’

  ‘I hope so. You’ve been promising to come over for a week.’

  ‘I’m sorry. We will, I promise. Love you.’

  ‘Love you too.’

  Phoebe’s mum ended the call. Phoebe tapped the phone against her chin thoughtfully. Perhaps she ought to have a word with Geraint about Midnight. Or a word with Midnight about Geraint. Then again, did she have the right to interfere? And if she did, what could she say to either party that wouldn’t sound just a teeny weeny bit insulting or patronising, or both?

  ‘Penny for them?’ Jack’s voice came from behind her.

  ‘Geraint’s gone AWOL,’ she said, turning to him.

  ‘Are you worried?’

  ‘Only that it might be something to do with Midnight.’

  ‘And if it is, they’re both adults.’

  ‘So you don’t think I should have a word?’

  ‘Tell them off for snogging behind the bike shed and show them what a condom is? No I do not! They’ll work things out for themselves and they won’t thank you for trying to do it for them.’

  Phoebe sighed, ‘I suppose you’re right.’ She glanced behind him. ‘Where’s Martin?’

  ‘I left him doing the sums. It was making me go dizzy, seeing all the zeros he was writing on his pad so I came out to calm down.’

  ‘It’s that bad?’

  ‘Hopefully not, but I don’t think it’s going to be cheap.’

  Phoebe nodded. Not the start she had hoped for but it was a job that needed to be tackled, whatever the cost. ‘Is the roofer still coming today?’

  ‘He’s just called to say the forecast looks clear so he’s on his way over.’ Jack pulled her close and kissed her. ‘Try not to
worry about the money.’

  ‘I can’t help it. I’m just wondering when we’ll have to start selling the family silver.’

  ‘We don’t have any silver.’

  ‘What about the family plastic? Or maybe I’ll just send you out as a gigolo.’

  ‘That’ll be £5.25 towards it, then.’

  Phoebe giggled. ‘See, I feel better already.’

  *

  Sometime after midday Geraint arrived. Jack and Phoebe had agreed not to make a fuss about where he had been. They were simply grateful for any help he was willing to offer and didn’t want to cause him any embarrassment, in the likely event that he had been somewhere he wanted to keep to himself. Hugh obviously had no such scruples.

  ‘Here he is, the dirty stop-out!’ he shouted.

  Geraint mumbled an apology and Phoebe shot her dad a look that warned him to drop the subject, which he chose not to notice.

  ‘Where the ruddy hell have you been, lad? You’ve had us all up hill and down dale looking for you!’

  ‘Ignore him,’ Phoebe cut in, ‘that’s not true at all. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. I expect you’ve had a good lie-in, like normal people do when they have a day off.’ Geraint gave her a grateful smile. ‘Come on,’ she added, ‘we’ve got a flask of tea inside, I’ll get you a cup before you start.’

  ‘I’m sorry about being late,’ Geraint said as he followed her.

  ‘Seriously, please don’t apologise. You’re here and we’re grateful.’

  Hugh’s voice boomed from behind them. ‘Is there any left in that flask for me?’

  ‘Of course, Dad. If not I can always go and get more.’

  ‘Lovely,’ Hugh said. ‘We’d better get Geraint some first; he looks as if he’s been up all night.’

  Phoebe tried not to groan and Geraint turned another shade of puce. He put his head down and gave the floor a sheepish grin.

  ‘I’m sure a cuppa and one of Jack’s breakfast muffins will perk you right up,’ Phoebe said, trying to signal to her father to drop it.

  ‘I’ll have one of those,’ Hugh said.