by Ebony Olson
"I saw him the night of the wedding. Alex and Zander drove to my place in case you came to me. They were both worried sick and angry as hell at Darius for hurting you so badly. I came back with them to help look for you." Jasper pushed two fingers inside of me. I gasped and moaned.
"I was worried about you, Mora. I've been worried about you for months, even after Alex told me you were safe, or when I saw you in concert a month ago. I worried because I know you, Mora, and I knew you were hurting and needed to let that out eventually."
I gripped the bed in my hands and hung my head as I rose quickly to orgasm again. Jasper withdrew his fingers and slapped me again. I grunted, my eyes rolling in my head. Jasper knelt between my thighs and slid into me. He took hold of my hips and thrust into me. He grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged my head back, the sharp sting of his hand slapping my flesh forcing me to cry out again. My body coiled tight and I whimpered before I opened my mouth and found my release silently. Jasper grunted with how tight my snatch held him. He shoved harder, waiting me out again, and once my body relaxed, he grabbed both my hips and groaned his own release.
We fell to the bed, panting. Jasper's arm encircled my body and his hand caressed my abdomen. "You should have called me sooner and told me about the baby, as I would have taken you in, Mora," Jasper admitted.
I shook my head. "That wouldn't be fair to you."
Jasper kissed my shoulder. "I would have told you to sign those papers and let everyone think the baby was mine."
I sobbed, trying to hold my tears in. "I couldn't do that, Jasper."
Jasper rubbed over my baby bump. "He will find out, Mora, and when he does, he's going to come after your child. It's too late now, too many know, but had you let them think it was mine, I would have protected you."
"I still love him," I confessed. "I hate him desperately, because I can't stop loving him."
Jasper held me tighter as my body shook with the need to cry beneath him. "Let it out, Mora," Jasper encouraged. He kissed over my neck. "You can't hate and love a man, so let the hate out, Mora, lash out and release it for good." He pulled back and rolled me to face him.
"Hate me, Mora. Hate me like you hate him. Every time you see your child, you will remember him. You need to remember how much you love him, not the pain. Give your hate to me, so you only have love left for the child."
I sobbed with the pain in my chest. I felt so betrayed by Darius. He broke every promise and he chose money over me but, before he did it all, he left a bit of him inside me. I could never be rid of him now. Every time I looked at my child I would remember him, just like my mother always remembered Marshall when she looked at me.
I cried out and slapped Jasper across the face. I threw myself at him to try and hit him like I wish I could Darius for making me just like her. I didn't want to be my mother, so I released my hate for her at the same time. It wasn't Darius I needed to let out. It was Eliza Ellis and the hate she'd always looked at me with.
I slapped and punched at Jasper, screaming and cursing at him until I fell exhausted on his chest. My bedroom door flew open, but I didn't turn to look at Zander. I didn't want him to see the agony I knew would show in my eyes. Jasper wrapped his arms around me protectively and spoke soothingly.
"That's it, baby. Let it all out. You don't need that hate. You are going to love this child like you love its father. Whenever you feel that hate burbling up inside you, you will give it to me, so you can focus on loving this child like you always wanted to be loved," Jasper consoled.
Jasper understood what I was going through. I hadn't even needed to explain it to him. He'd taken one look at me when I told him I was pregnant and understood immediately what that meant for me. I clung to him, grateful to have him in my life again, because I needed him. I needed someone who understood what the worst part of what Darius had done to me was.
***
"I can't believe it's taken you three weeks to organize a house warming," Tabitha teased, coming into the kitchen with Alex.
I shrugged, "We had to buy furniture and work out where we needed what." I looked over the living space. Sophie was sitting, talking to Jasper and Zander on the lounge.
"I see you finally called Jasper," Alex smiled, giving me a kiss on the cheek, his hand rubbing the baby bump. "How did he take the news?"
I smiled. "Better than you did."
It had taken both Dad and Zander to stop Alex from going to Darius's house and punching him out again. It wasn't until I'd collapsed on the floor crying that Alex was able to calm down. He'd dropped onto the floor and held me to him as he promised to take care of me.
Alex smiled back at me. "Have you felt it kick yet?"
I shook my head, frowning. "No, but I've heard it can take up to six months before that happens." I took a deep breath, removing my brother's hand. "Which reminds me…Warren is coming tonight and he doesn't know, so no baby talk."
Alex lifted a brow at me. "Um, there is a whole room dedicated to the baby back there."
"Zander and I packed everything away in the wardrobe. There isn't that much since I haven't purchased the furniture yet," I explained.
Alex nodded and put his finger to his lips. "Family secret it is." Alex grabbed a piece of the cheese I was cutting, tossed it in his mouth, and took Tabitha's hand to join the others. They'd started dating a month ago. She was five years older than Alex, but I'd never seen him this happy with Leila, so I was supporting it.
The door buzzer rang, and I looked at the monitor before pressing the button to let my dad in. I finished putting the nibbles on the tray and looked up at Jasper with a smile as he stepped in behind me with a kiss to my neck.
"You should sit down and put your feet up. You've already exerted yourself today."
I smiled, "My doctor recommends I try and walk five kilometers a day and swim."
"Well, I agree with your doctor, but I also know that standing for long periods of time can be bad for your back. Those little critters put a lot of strain on a woman's body." Jasper argued before lowering his voice. "Plus, I plan to be diving right back between your legs as soon as your guests leave." Jasper turned me to face him and kissed me deeply.
"Ah-um," Marshall cleared his throat.
Jasper stepped back and turned to face my not-so-happy father. Standing next to him was an equally unhappy Warren. "Marshall, nice to see you again." Jasper shook my father's hand before holding his hand out to Warren. "Warren."
Jasper gave me another quick kiss as he picked up the tray of nibbles. "I'll take this over to the table."
Warren swallowed and stepped forward, opening the backpack on his back and pulling something out. It was the first time he'd seen me since he'd handed me the annulment papers in Darius's office three months ago.
"Mora, happy house warming." He handed me a bottle of red wine, the good stuff Darius served for Jeremy and Cassandra the night I'd quit working for him. "This is from Steffen, and this is from me." He held out a giant jar of peanut butter with a bow around it.
I smiled, taking them from him then stepped into him for a hug, being sure to keep my lower body away from his. I stepped back and Warren smiled, placing a tentative kiss to my cheek, before he walked away to say hello to his brother.
"You can't eat or drink any of that," Marshall frowned as I placed the wine and peanut butter on the table.
"I know. Luckily the peanut butter will keep."
"You're back with Jasper?" Marshall never really liked Jasper, especially the arrangement we had. Not that he knew the extent of it, but I dare say he suspected.
"Just back to the old arrangement," I admitted.
"Does he know?" Marshall's eyes dropped to the belly I'd hidden under a flowing dress.
"Yes."
"And how did he take it?"
I took a deep breath. "He's not happy about it. He believes I should have gone to him and let everyone think it was his child instead."
Marshall pressed his lips tight together in anger.
&
nbsp; "He would have married me, Dad, if I'd have let him," I tried to appease my father.
Marshall met my eyes. "He still can, Mora. There is no reason you can't marry him and let everyone, who doesn't already know otherwise, believe that baby is his." Dad stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You and Dare were never seen together in public as anything more than colleagues. There are very few outside of this room who even knew you were involved, let alone married for a moment in time. You can still marry Jasper and have the life you planned."
I smiled and kissed my father's cheek. "No, Dad. Darius was the only man I could marry, and that's gone. That life was torn to pieces, but I've built a new one and I'm going to be happy. I've never needed a man in my life to make me happy, and that's not going to change now."
The front door buzzer sounded. I stepped past Marshall and pushed the button to let Jeremy and Cassandra in. When I turned around, Marshall was watching me with regret in his eyes.
"Don't look at me like that, Dad."
"I just don't want you to end up like me, Mora," Marshall worried.
I snickered, "Successful, rich, and utterly gorgeous?"
Marshall shook his head. "Lonely."
I tilted my head. "That is a choice you made, Dad. That's what life is. A series of choices that lead to outcomes. Sometimes those choices lead us to good places, and sometimes they lead us to bad places. Most of the time, they lead us to where we need to be." I pulled him into a hug. "I'm where I'm supposed to be, Dad. Accept that three people made choices and they've led us to this place." I stepped back and let out a sigh. "Actually, out of the three of us, I ended up the best off, didn't I?"
Marshall frowned. "How's that, Mora?"
I smiled, looking around. "You and Dare have your businesses, but, for the first time in my life, I'm not alone."
Marshall followed my eyes as they took in my growing group of close friends and family.
"Being with Dare brought most of these people into my life, and, despite Dare not being a part of it anymore, he's given me a family and a good support network." I smiled, happy I could finally see the positives of my heartache. I'd really needed Jasper to bleed out the hurt.
The apartment door burst open as Cody and Nick, Jeremy's boys, came running in and nearly tackled me.
"Mora!" They both yelled as I hugged them back before they broke from me and ran and crash-tackled Zander on the lounge.
"Argh!" Zander grunted and tickled them both. "Okay, okay." Zander laughed. "Want to play with my PlayStation?"
The boys cheered and ran full tilt into Zander's bedroom, diving on his bed. Zander winked at me and followed them in to turn it on for them.
"Have you started praying for a girl yet?" Jeremy asked, stepping in with Cassandra and shutting the door.
I smiled as Cassandra came forward to give me a hug, her slightly smaller belly on display under her singlet top. I looked at Jeremy over her shoulder. "Warren is here," I murmured so they both could hear.
"Oh." Jeremy and Cassandra instantly turned to look over the room. "Well, you might want to wait to open the house-warming present then," Jeremy cringed.
"Just pop it in the room and we can open it later," I smiled.
Jeremy nodded and walked up the hall to the nursery. Cassandra smiled at Marshall and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Marshall."
Dad put his hand over Cassandra's tummy. "How's the hopeful princess coming along?"
Cassandra glowed; there was no other word for it. "She's growing beautifully. Very passive. I could feel both boys moving around by now with those pregnancies. I haven't felt boo out of this one." Cassandra looked to me excited, then remembered the company and swallowed her question. She pouted. "I hate that we can't talk about this openly," she grumbled quietly. She gave Marshall a shove. "This is all your fault."
Dad blinked, surprised. "I'll go and sit down with the others and stop being a hindrance then."
"That is not what I meant, Marshall Blake, and you know it," Cassandra glowered. "You wear the hat. There must be a loophole."
"Cassandra," Marshall warned, his eyes glancing to me.
"Don't worry about it, Cassie," I smiled, taking her hand and leading her to the lounge with everyone else. "Those two made their choices and I've made mine. Now they are both stuck with having to live with it."
Cassandra didn't smile, but she nodded in understanding. I refused to think about it any longer. Jasper patted his lap when I approached, so I slid onto it and let him direct my mouth to his for a short kiss. Cassandra's eyebrows went up a little. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Cassandra Green," she introduced, holding out her hand.
Jasper smiled, putting out his hand. "Jasper Jones, Mora's friend."
"Just her friend?" Cassandra raised a brow, taking the seat Zander vacated.
Jasper grinned, "Friend, fuck friend, boyfriend. Whatever it suits us to be at the time. We've been seeing each other for years," Jasper winked.
Cassandra's eyes brightened. "Oh my gosh, you're the threesome guy."
"Hey, family are present," Alex reminded, sticking his fingers in his ears while everyone else laughed, including Jasper.
I laughed as Marshall covered his face with his hand, and I could hear the muttered curse he said to himself.
"Honey, are you putting your foot in it again?" Jeremy asked with a laugh and patting Marshall on the back in sympathy.
"Please! How much worse could it get then with you telling me you tried to sleep with my daughter after she had sex with your wife and friend?" Marshall shook his head and sat on the arm of the lounge chair.
Jasper laughed and I elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't you dare give my father a heart attack," I scolded quietly. "And, to clear that up..." I spoke clearly. "I only went down on Cass. She's the one who did Jeremy and his friend."
"Wait, you do chicks?" Sophie asked, astounded. "All these years I could have been scoring with you and you didn't tell me?" Sophie winked.
"Anytime, Soph."
Jasper smirked, "As long as I get to watch."
"Me too!" Warren and Zander agreed.
"Done. We'll sell tickets," Sophie laughed and winked at Warren.
I stopped and watched. I thought it was Zander she was moving towards, so it surprised me to see her do her flirt thing with Warren. I looked at Zander to see if he caught it. He watched Sophie toss her hair and smirked to himself before his eyes met mine. I raised an eyebrow at him to see if it bothered him. He shrugged before his eyes went to Jasper and the smile faded from them.
"Changing subjects," Jeremy chuckled. "Denial will be off to Asia next week for another six-week tour. When they get back, they'll be heading straight to the Solstice Carnival tour. That means no more recording until August for them, but I have Betty Box on my books and she's suffering a touch of writer's block. I was hoping if I put her in a studio with you, Mora, you could help her like you did Ewan."
I tilted my head, confused. "I'm not a songwriter, Jeremy, just a cellist."
"You know you are getting paid nearly triple your contract for your contribution towards the new Denial album, and that's not counting the recording still to happen, right?" Jeremy raised a brow teasingly.
I shook my head.
Jeremy laughed, "You are being listed as one of the songwriters, Mora, and that means you get paid for that job, as well as performing on the recording."
"Oh." I raised my brows, not realizing it. "Okay, well, I guess I can meet with Betty and see if I have anything to offer her."
Jeremy nodded, pulling out his Blackberry. "Good, now let’s discuss Guy Fawkes Day..."
"No," I answered shortly. Everyone looked at me, surprised. "Remember, I'll be away through October and November." I met Jeremy's gaze pointedly.
Warren frowned. "Where are you going?"
"Mora's grandparents are going on another cruise and asked Mora to house-sit for them," Marshall answered quickly.
"Honey, how about you call Mora tomorrow? You can both sit ther
e with your calendars open and discuss contracts instead of doing it at a party," Cassandra purred.
Jeremy smiled, putting away his Blackberry. "Hint taken, Cassie."
"So," Warren smiled, standing up, "Who's going to give me the tour?"
Zander stood up. "I will."
Everyone waited until Zander took Warren to the other side of the atrium and then surreptitiously found something to throw at Jeremy jokingly.
"Okay!" Jeremy laughed. "I put my foot in it. Sorry."
The rest of the night was a lot more relaxed. Jeremy and Cassandra took the boys home at seven, and Alex and Tabitha left around eight, my father following them out. Warren and Sophie were cuddled up on the sofa talking, while Jasper and Zander played the PlayStation in Zander's room. I started cleaning up.
When Sophie excused herself to use the toilet, Warren came to talk to me. He put a ring box on the kitchen bench. I knew what it was. My hand went to the necklace at my neck.
"He's not getting it back," I said quietly.
"He doesn't want it back, Mora." Warren shuffled uncomfortably, opening the box to show the wedding band and then closing it again. "He wants you to have the set. He said to tell you that the set shouldn't be separated."
I didn't touch the box. I looked at it for a long moment and then went back to cleaning. "You told him where you were going tonight?"
"I told him I was going to your house warming," Warren answered. "He doesn't know that you and Zander are living together or he would have invited himself along."
I nodded understanding. "How are things at work?"
Warren relaxed. "Good. Your replacement, Wendall, is really good. He's taken over Dare's diary completely now, so I have more time to work on my projects. The office is finally working how it should have twelve months ago, except Dare was too busy trying to seduce you to make it work."
I swallowed and forced a smile, "I'm glad it's working out."
Warren's face fell. "Shit, Mora, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. You were fantastic, and I would work with you again in a heartbeat. It's just that Dare was worried some of his extra-curricular activities would scare you off, so he didn't want you running his diary."