by Ebony Olson
"It's fine, Warren. I understand." I did. Dare had explained to me why he restricted my duties at work.
Warren fidgeted. "You're back with Jasper?"
I nodded.
"Will you marry him?"
I exhaled heavily, "I can't see the future, Warren, but I doubt it. It would take..." Darius moving on, him breaking that last promise to me. That's what it would take for me to completely let him go. I took a breath and shook my head. "I doubt it."
Sophie came back into the room with a false smile on her face. I knew she'd listened to at least part of the conversation. "Well, I think it's time I headed home." Sophie came forward and kissed my cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
I had my monthly obstetrics appointment tomorrow. I nodded when she looked at me; Sophie's brown eyes assessing me as if she may see a tiny crack appear. After a moment, she nodded and stepped away to say goodnight to Zander and Jasper.
"Want me to give you a lift?" Warren asked Sophie as she grabbed her bag.
"That'd be great, thanks," Sophie smiled.
"I'll just get my stuff and say goodnight to Zander." Warren went to get his bag and stepped into Zander's room.
"If I bang him..."
"It won't cause problems, Soph," I smiled. "Well, until you go to marry him and Dare is part of the groom’s party. I don't think I could stand to be in a bridal party with him."
Sophie gave me a cheeky smile. "Eh! That's a few years off yet. By then, you'll have cranked out a couple of kids to one of the guys in that room, or that sexy drummer you write with, and all Darius Rafal will be is a memory of a really huge slong."
"That huge slong haunted my dreams for five years between meetings," I reminded her.
Sophie's eyes bugged out of her head. "And so it should! You lost the big V to that monster of a cock. I would have joined the convent or become a porn star. Could have gone either way really," Sophie considered.
I chuckled. No, she had never seen Darius's monster, but a few nights back, Tabitha, Cassandra, and I all went out to dinner with Sophie. The conversation inevitably turned to that subject, since three of the four of us had experienced it. Effectively, it was decided that contraception or not, that cock was made to get a girl pregnant. It was immediately after that conversation that I'd called Jasper. I was too horny to bear it anymore and I needed to be plowed. It was call Jasper or call Sophie's male escort, the one who managed to get her so over my brother that she could easily go to dinner with his new girlfriend.
"Ready to go?" Warren asked.
Sophie and I looked at him and started laughing. We were both so ready to go it wasn't funny.
Warren smiled, "What'd I miss?"
Chapter Four
"This is very cute," Cassandra smiled, holding up another little girl’s outfit.
"It is," I agreed.
Cassandra looked at me. "Are you disappointed it's a boy?"
We'd been in for our twenty-two week scans and had the sex confirmed. Cassandra was getting her princess, I was growing a prince.
I looked down and caressed my tummy. There was no hiding this now. Flowing top or not, my breasts were already two sizes larger and I'd stopped being able to wear anything but elastic-waist pants a week ago. When I woke up one day last week, you would have thought I had swallowed a bowling ball.
"No, I'm happy. I just haven't felt him kick yet," I frowned. "The scan says he's fine, but I thought I would have felt something by now."
"It will happen, Mora," Cassandra assured. "Are you sure you are happy to take Nick's baby clothes? I would understand if you want to buy your own," Cassandra checked for the fifth time today.
"Cassie, they grow so fast. I'm happy to save my money and take your beautiful and expensive baby clothes off your hands," I assured. "I'm going to go look at the furniture. Zander wants me to make my mind up about a cot and change table this week so we can start setting up the nursery."
Cassandra blew out a breath. "You're meant to be helping me with this baby shower registry."
I laughed, "You've done this twice already, Cassie. We both know that Sophie has you doing my registry at the same time. You know what I'll need better than me. Go crazy."
Cassandra smiled and stopped hiding the second scanner. I made my way over to the furniture section and stood looking at the two cots I was tossing up between. The obstetrician had told me it was going to be a big baby, so I wasn't even considering a bassinet. That went out the window about the same time he started gently raising the subject of booking in for a caesarian. That was something I was determined to avoid but, as I considered Darius's size, height, and bulk, and get your mind off the monster just this once, the idea of trying to push a son of his out of my pelvis was terrifying. I was starting to think the obstetrician had the right idea.
Just thinking about Darius's monster made me squeeze my thighs tight and hear his deep laughter. I jolted when I realized I wasn't imagining that laugh. I dared a look over my shoulder and saw Darius standing twenty meters away in the clothes section, talking to Cassandra.
Turning to put my back to him, I looked around for a place to hide. I checked over my shoulder again. Cassandra was doing a great job of distracting Darius, focusing his attention on a really cute boy’s outfit, which put his back to me.
I moved to the changing room and stepped inside, only to run smack bang into Rebecca, Darius's sister.
"Mora?" Rebecca looked shocked, more so when her eyes fell on the large belly I was sporting. "Holy..."
I covered her mouth with my hand and forced her to take several steps back into the changing room. "Shh. Please? I know he's your brother, but you can't tell him about this."
Rebecca stepped back, eyes wide in bewilderment.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice tearing on a sob.
Rebecca lifted her top to show me her growing belly; it almost looked like we were the same distance along. "I'm five months along. You?"
I dropped my head, "Five and a half."
Tears started flowing from Rebecca's eyes. "That's my brother's child?"
I swiped at a tear running down my cheek and nodded.
"Okay," Rebecca took a breath. "Shit! You haven't told him?"
"Shh!" I scolded her. "I tried," I confessed to her. "I wanted to tell him so often in those first weeks... He told me to get out of his life, so I did."
Rebecca started crying. The curtain behind us pulled back and I turned, fearing Darius had come looking for his sister. Instead, Warren stood there, pale as a ghost, looking at me. His eyes traveled to my belly and he turned away, walking out.
"Shit!" I whispered.
"Warren," Rebecca pushed past me and grabbed his arm, dragging him back in. "Warren, you can't tell Dare."
I looked at Rebecca, surprised.
"She's been through enough. He did this. He chose his millionaire club over her. We were there when he told her to get out of his life. He made the choice, so we don't tell him this," Rebecca lectured.
Warren looked at me again. "The day you came to the office?"
"I found out that morning and came to tell him."
"And when Zander punched Dare that night?"
I swallowed, "I fell at aerial and was rushed to hospital. Zander was there watching me and he heard that I was pregnant."
"That's why he's moved in with you, isn't it?" Warren asked. "He's going to raise Dare's child as his own."
I shook my head. "He'll be his uncle. Dare will always be his father."
"His. It's a boy?" Rebecca asked with the ghost of a smile.
I nodded.
"Bex?" Darius's voice came from out the front of the changing rooms.
Warren and Rebecca both went pale. "Just a minute, Dare," Rebecca called, shooing Warren to go and distract Darius. Rebecca waited for Warren to leave and then took my hands in hers. "We need to talk. Warren knows where you live, right?" Rebecca asked. I nodded. "Okay, I'll come by tonight and we can talk this through. I promise not to tell Dare,
but I want to talk to you, okay?"
I nodded. Rebecca smiled and stepped out, grabbing the pile of maternity clothes she'd dropped upon seeing me. "Sorry about that. Maternity bras are so fiddly."
"Something I'm never going to need to find out about, Bex," Darius laughed. "Now, is there anything else you need? As much as I love spending time with you, I still have a business to run."
"This will do me. Let's go."
"Everything alright, Bex?" Darius asked. "You look flushed. For that matter, so do you, Warren."
"What?" Warren asked, and I could imagine him looking guilty as hell.
"Do I want to know?" Darius gritted.
There was a moment’s silence. "It's not what you think. Warren came looking for me and walked in on me when I wasn't ready. We are both rather embarrassed, so can we leave it alone please?"
"Ah huh," Darius chuckled.
I gasped and put my hand to my stomach as I felt the baby kick for the first time.
"As long as that baby in there isn't Warren's," Darius teased.
"God, no! I love you, Bex, but you're like my sister," Warren laughed.
"Exactly, although if I was going to cheat on my wonderful husband, it would definitely be with one of you Mann boys," Rebecca laughed.
"Considering you like younger men, I'll let Zander know he's in," Darius laughed. The baby started doing back flips inside me.
I gripped my stomach, tears streaming down my face when I heard Darius laugh one more time, and the baby kicked, recognizing its father's voice. I sank down in the changing room and started crying.
"Mora?" Cassandra slid the curtain open, face full of worry. "What happened?"
"Darius's sister was here. She saw me and worked it out," I sobbed.
Cassandra frowned. "Did she tell Dare?"
I shook my head. "No. She covered for me. Said she understands."
Cassandra nodded. "Most women would. So, what's wrong?"
"The baby kicked for the first time." I looked up and met Cassandra's eyes. "When it heard Darius laughing. It kicked when it heard his voice."
"Oh, Mora." Cassandra cuddled me to her. "It was probably your reaction to his voice that caused that. Maybe your heart rate picks up around Dare and the baby reacts to the excitement and anxiety you feel. Don't read too much into it."
I nodded against her shoulder. "Cass, I can't choose a cot. Zander's been trying to get me to choose names and baby furniture for weeks, and I can't bring myself to do it."
"You want Darius to help you choose?" Cassandra asked, understanding. I nodded. "You can tell him, Mora. He'd be here in a heartbeat to help you through this."
I shook my head. I knew the cost.
"Then you need to make these choices yourself," Cassandra urged me gently to standing. "Come on. I'll hold your hand and you tell me what you like and dislike about the cots."
I cleaned my face up while Cassandra checked that the coast was clear, and then she took my hand and stood by me while I finally made a choice on the cot.
"Right. That's been a rather emotional outing I hadn't intended on. I think that calls for a milkshake," Cassandra smirked, sliding into the back of her chauffeured car. I dropped down next to her with a smile. "Zane, we need milkshakes," Cassandra told her driver.
Zane smiled. "I know just the place, Mrs. Green."
***
I sat nervously on the lounge, Zander pacing across the room. "Warren was furious with me on the phone," Zander informed me. He stopped and looked at me. "If he won't understand and insists on telling Dare, you need to beat him to it, okay? If Dare finds out from anyone but you, he'll flip his...what do you say?"
"Lid," I answered quietly.
"Flip his lid. So it needs to come from you, Mora. If Warren won't keep your secret, I'll ask him to give you twenty-four hours, and I'll call Dare and ask him to come and meet you." Zander looked at me. "The bonus is you won't even have to tell him now."
"The baby kicked," I murmured.
Zander stopped, a smile slipping across his face. "Just now?"
"When it heard Darius laugh," I mourned. "Every time he laughed, the baby kicked."
Zander's smile disappeared. He came and sat next to me, placing his hand on my tummy. "Think of Dare."
I looked at him. "Not you too?" I sighed. "Cassandra thinks it was my reaction to Dare that caused it."
Zander gave me a gentle smile. "Humor me? Think of a good time you and Dare were together, a moment where he was laughing and happy."
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and remembered Dare. I remembered making love to him on our wedding day, of walking down that aisle and the look on his face; of the words he said to me while we lay naked in the meditation hall, just before he filled me with his child.
The baby kicked hard. I jumped and looked down. I moved Zander's hand, and Zander smiled big as the baby kicked against his hand.
"I've always wanted to feel that," Zander smiled, a sadness I'd never expected in his voice. He rested his head against mine and we sat laughing while the baby kicked. "That must feel amazing."
"It feels weird; like I have an alien inside me, and it's about to burst out of my chest," I admitted.
Zander laughed, and the baby started going crazy.
I put my hand over his and looked at it, amazed. "Laughter; he likes hearing laughter."
Zander smiled, brushing my cheek. "He's had five months of hearing you cry, Mora. He's probably craving happiness."
I took a deep breath, "I'm trying, Zander."
"I know."
We both looked up as the door buzzer rang. Zander squeezed my hand and went to the monitor and pressed the button to let them in. I stood up and waited nervously while Zander opened the apartment door.
"You son of a bitch," Warren cursed. "How could you not tell me something this big?"
"Mora told me in confidence. I couldn't be sure you wouldn't tell Dare," Zander admitted.
"As if I would do that to her," Warren scolded. "I was there, Zander, when she came to tell him. I saw how heartbroken she was. I totally understand why she decided not to tell him."
Zander exhaled, "I'm sorry, Warren. Mora needed someone she could trust."
"Boys." Rebecca stepped into the apartment. "We have an hour until Dare gets back from his event. Can I talk to Mora now?"
Zander gave Rebecca a hug and directed her down to the lounge room. Rebecca walked towards me. She pulled me into a tight hug then quickly stepped back again.
I sat down, unsure what to say or do. Rebecca followed suit. Zander and Warren took the seats across from us.
"First off, I'd like to know a few things," Rebecca started. "You're sure it's Dare's child?"
"I hadn't been with anyone else from September last year until last month," I informed her.
Rebecca paused, "You have a new man in your life?" She looked nervously at Zander.
I shook my head. "My ex. We have a casual arrangement about sex. There's no one else."
"Do you ever plan to tell Dare?" Rebecca asked.
I swallowed. "That's sort of open-ended right now. If something happens which requires him knowing, or if his son asks to meet him, then I will tell him."
Rebecca nodded. "Name?"
"I haven't chosen names yet, but he will carry the Rafal surname. Dad insisted," I advised her.
"Does everyone know but me?" Warren asked.
"Well, not Darius," I smiled.
Warren shook his head, "You were at the store with Cassandra today, weren't you? They came to your house warming, so I'm betting even Jeremy knows."
"Jeremy knew before my dad or Alex," I told Warren. "It's why he gave me the job. He recognized my pregnancy when the morning sickness kicked in and called me on it."
"Argh. Morning sickness is a bitch, isn't it?" Rebecca frowned.
"Try being on tour for six weeks with it," I grumbled. "The only time I wasn't vomiting was when I was on stage performing." Or sleeping with Darius, but I wasn't about to admit that.
Warren looked at me. "He went to see you perform in Glasgow. Did you see him?"
Everyone was looking at me. I nodded. "Yeah, he was there. Jeremy brought him backstage. I could have throttled him."
Rebecca took my hand. "Jacob." I looked at her, confused. "It's his favorite boy’s name. He told me I couldn't use it, because if he ever had a son, that's what he wanted to call him."
I smiled and squeezed her hand, placing my hand to my stomach. "What do you think? Jacob Blake Rafal?" The baby gave its hardest kick yet. "That's either a hell yes or a God no," I laughed. I looked at Rebecca and swallowed my pride. "I need a favor."
"Just ask."
"I'd like a recording of Darius, preferably reading a kid’s bedtime story, singing a lullaby, or something like that," I requested. "I want Jacob to grow up hearing his father's voice, so when he meets him, he recognizes him."
Rebecca smiled. "He reads to Nigel and Sienna all the time when visiting, so that will be easy."
"I can probably get him singing in the shower at the gym, or playing his piano," Warren offered.
I sat up straight. "I never got to hear him play."
Warren smiled sadly. "He misses hearing you play. He's been nagging Jeremy to give him a recording of you at the studio so he can listen to that."
I laughed, "Jeremy has contracted me to do a tribute to Jacqueline Du Pre. I couldn't understand why he would choose me to do the concert, but I think I do now."
"When is it?" Warren asked, worried. "He's keeping a track of any planned concerts you might be performing at so he can go."
I shook my head. "I'm not doing any live performances until December now."
"Well, expect him to turn up," Warren warned.
"He'll be one of several hundred, Warren. I probably won't see him anyway," I allayed, but in the back of my mind, I expected Darius to make sure I saw him if he could help it.
Chapter Five
"Okay, I'm here. What's the emergency?" Jasper asked walking into my apartment with a smile. I hadn't been comfortable to have sex the past month and a half, so we'd only been hanging out as friends, and he was dating again.
"I want this baby out!" I grumbled, waddling back to my bedroom. "It's huge and I can't take any more. I can't sleep, or play my cello, and I'm absolutely bored."