The Big Book of Girl Stuff

by Bart King

  August 1: “Pretty Is as Pretty Does” Day

  August 3: Mustard Day

  August 4: National Sisters’ Day

  August 6: Fresh Breath Day

  August 9: International Noogie-Givers’ Day — A day to sneak up on people and give them noogies!

  August 15: National Relaxation Day

  August 17: Watermelon Day

  August 22: Be an Angel Day and National Punctuation Day

  August 25: Kiss-and-Make-Up Day

  August 26: Women Get to Vote! — See the “Girl Power” chapter for more information on this.

  August 27: Mother Teresa’s birthday (born 1910)

  September

  September is Hat Month, National Chicken Month, and National Literacy Month. September contains Biscuits and Gravy Week, National Dog Week, and National Waffle Week. September’s flower is the morning glory and its gem is the sapphire.

  September 5: Be Late for Something Day

  September 12: Destroy All Video Games Day — This is a day to reflect on the influence video games have on young people (especially boys and men). Usually, a big video game bonfire follows.

  September 13: Blame Someone Else Day

  September 15: Women’s Friendship Day and Respect Your Elders Day

  September 22: Elephant Appreciation Day

  September 28: International Very Good Looking, Smart Woman’s Day

  October

  October is Eat Ham Month and Liver Awareness Month. It also contains National Pet Peeve Week. October’s flower is the calendula and its gem is the opal.

  October 4: World Smile Day

  October 9: Alphabet Day (in Korea)

  October 11: World Egg Day

  October 22: National Color Day

  October 25: Sour Day

  October 29: The National Organization for Women (N.O.W.) was founded on this day in 1966 (T.H.E.N.)

  October 30: Haunted Refrigerator Night

  October 31: National Knock-Knock Day and Juliette Gordon Low’s Birthday — Juliette was the founder of the Girls Scouts; she was born in 1860. Cookies for everyone! Oh yeah, this is also Halloween.

  Halloween

  WARNING: Ninety percent of parents admit they steal candy from their kids’ bags. (The other ten percent lie.) So keep an eye on your candy! And if you’re not sure what to be for Halloween, go to school dressed as one of your teachers. This is (almost) always funny! X To learn more cool stuff about this holiday, read the chapter “Halloween” in The Big Book of Boy Stuff.

  November

  November is “I Am So Thankful” Month, and it contains National Fig Week and National Children’s Book Week. The Friday after Thanksgiving is Buy Nothing Day. November’s flower is the chrysanthemum. Its gem is the topaz.

  November 1: Vinegar Day

  November 3: Culture Day

  November 8: Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day

  November 10: Sesame Street’s Anniversary! — On this day in 1969, a crazy kid’s show with puppets, people, and songs made its debut. (This message is sponsored by the letter Q.)

  November 13: World Kindness Day

  November 14: National Teddy Bear Day

  November 17: Homemade Bread Day

  November 21: World “Hello” Day — Say “Hello” to ten people you don’t know!

  November 29: “Sinkie” Day — A “sinkie” is anyone who grabs a food item and then eats it over the sink. There are a lot of us out there!

  Question: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?

  Answer: Drumsticks for everybody!

  December

  December contains Cookie Cutter Week and “It’s about Time” Week. December’s flower is the poinsettia and its gem is turquoise.

  December 5: Bathtub Party Day

  December 9: Boring Celebrities Day

  December 11: Day of the Horse

  December 16: Barbie and Barney Backlash Day

  December 20: Underdog Day

  December 21: Humbug Day

  December 23: Festivus! — This holiday was invented by a man named Dan O’Keefe and was made popular on an episode of the TV show Seinfeld. Festivus was intended to be a holiday that required no shopping. The only Festivus decoration is a bare metal pole, which can be stuck in a pot or hung from the ceiling. Because it is bare, one of the mottos for Festivus is “It’s time to decorate the pole! We’re done!” Because Festivus is a time to complain about important things, a holiday card might read, “I have a problem with you people.” The holiday should also include feats of strength. As a matter of fact, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the ground and pinned.

  *Ben & Jerry’s made an ice cream flavor named Festivus in 1999. It was ginger-flavored with pieces of gingerbread cookies inside.

  Sports and Games

  “Tomboy. All right, call me a tomboy. Tomboys get medals. Tomboys win championships. Tomboys can fly. Oh, and tomboys aren’t boys.”

  —Julie Foudy, Olympic Gold medalist in soccer, two-time World Cup Champion

  Hey, stretch out a little and take this quick fitness quiz:

  Try to do a sit-up. If you can do it, good for you! (25 percent of girls can’t.)

  Try to touch your toes without bending your knees. (No bouncing! 40 percent of girls can’t do it.)

  Try doing two push-ups. (70 percent of girls can’t.)

  Run 73 miles. (Hey, wait a minute!)

  If you couldn’t do the first three challenges above, you are now legally required to read this chapter. Attagirl!And if you set this book down (or set it on fire) you’ll be in BIG trouble!

  There are so many greatreasons to play sports and get exercise, it’s impossible to list them all. But here are three:

  Research shows that athletes get better grades, exercise is great for your muscle and skin, and training and practice help you focus mentally.

  That’s why it’s so amazing that many girls don’t play anysports. If a girl hasn’t played sports by the age of ten, there’s only a 10 percent chance she’ll play sports (or exercise regularly) by the time she’s 25. And among younger girls that doplay sports, many drop out of their programs once they turn 12 or 13.

  Maybe part of the problem is that throughout history, people thought it was “not proper” for girls to be active or play sports. What a crock! The Olympics are a good example. The ancient Greeks invented the Olympic games over 2,000 years ago, and women were NOT allowed to compete. Not only that, women were not allowed even to watch the games. The fact that the men competed naked probably had something to do with this.

  More recently, when the “modern” Olympics started, women were allowed to compete in some events. But in the 1928 Olympic Games, some of the women running the 800-meter race collapsed afterwards. They had tried so hard to win that they were tired. Nowadays, we call that “good effort.” In 1928, people called it “unladylike.” All races longer than 200 meters were outlawed for women at the Olympics for the next thirty years. Can you believe it?

  There was even a theory at the time that if women took part in sports, they’d become “old too soon.” One doctor wrote that “women are not . . . built to undergo the strain that men are capable of.” Hmmm, he must have forgotten about childbirth!

  “Sometimes I fall, but landing every jump isn’t the point. It’s the attempt. It’s the effort.”

  —Sarah Hughes, figure skater

  As recently as 1967, men chased after a woman running in the Boston Marathon. They were trying to rip the contestant number off her back because she was breaking the rules by running 26 miles with men. After all, everyone knew that girls couldn’t run that far! (Starting in 1972, the Boston Marathon officially began to allow women competitors.)

  Although things have improved since then, even today, there are some activities that girls aren’t allowed to take part in. Take a look at what we mean:

  Banned Activities

  Tagwas banned from an elementary school in Santa Monica
, California. WHY? The school’s newsletter explained that this was because in Tag, there has to be “a ‘victim’ or ‘It,’ which creates a self-esteem issue.” “Tag! You have low self-esteem!”

  The National Association for Sport and P.E. has outlawed both Duck, Duck, Gooseand Musical Chairs at school.WHY? Because any sport that “eliminates kids” is not good.

  Runningwas banned at an elementary school’s playground in Broward County, Florida. A school board member said that “to say no runningon the playground seems crazy” but lawyers changed her mind.

  Archerywas banned from some high school gym classes in Florida. WHY? Because someone might get shot with an arrow—maybe even in the pancreas! Wait . . . that rule actually makes sense!

  Now think about the way girls act when they play sports. Research shows that when girls are playing sports with NO boys around, they play hard and try to win. But if boys are in the area, many girls basically stop trying. How strange! There’s no law that says you can’t be a girl and still be competitive! If a boy is playing with you in your game, try playing harder,because you have an advantage. Boys sometimes underestimate a girl’s mad athletic skills, which makes is easier for youto win!

  Stick With It

  Chess is a very competitive game, and terrific for mentalfitness. But only 5 percent of the world’s top players are women. One of them, a woman named Xie Jun, was asked why this was. She basically said, “Girls get interested in boys and stop playing chess.” Can you believe that? (Luckily, more and more girls are playing chess these days.)

  If you are interested in something, stick with it!Don’t stop playing a sport because a guy you might like is around. Boys appreciate girls who are fit and healthy. And don’t worry about a guy seeing you all sweaty. If he likes you too, he’ll be cheering you on! The cool guys are interested in girls who are themselves, anyway. Keep your identity! (We’re not saying you should exercise just to get attention from boys, but it can be a nice side benefit.)

  How to Throw Like a Girl Who’s Not “Throwing Like a Girl”

  Before we go any further . . .

  One of the worst insults a boy can give another boy in sports is to say, “You throw like a girl.” How sexist! The idea behind the insult is that a girl has an awkward throwing motion. The throw ends with the ball traveling 10 feet in the wrong direction. This kind of “girl throw” looks like the girl is pushing the ball, not throwing it.

  If that describes the way you throw a ball, read the following information:

  You Will Need:A ball, a friend to play catch with as you practice.

  Hold the ball with your fingers, not your palm. Keep your wrists loose. Turn sideways with your throwing arm on the opposite side of the person you're throwing to. Feet are shoulder width apart.

  The next three steps happen one after another quite quickly:

  Snap your wrist forward at the last second. Keep your elbow high. Let your arm follow through. Push off with your back foot. Step forward with your front foot. Raise arm up and reach toward target.

  When you’re done throwing the ball, you may find that it went somewhere you didn’t want it to, like behind you or off to the side in some weird direction. That just means you need to practice! Keep practicing, and someday, when someone says, “You throw like a girl!” it will be the coolest compliment a girl could receive.

  *To throw a football, just get your fingers between the ball’s laces. (Your little finger should be at about the middle of the laces.) As with a softball, hold the ball with your fingers, not in your palm. Follow the rest of the throwing tips above.

  Rock Skipping Tip:Scientists have found that to make a rock skip best, look for a flat rock with small holes in the surface. Then throw it at a 20 degree angle at exactly 25 miles-per-hour. (Bring a radar gun and protractor with you if you need them.)

  Why Girls Are Better Athletes Than Boys

  “I don’t have to be enemies with someone to be competitors with her.”

  —Jackie Joyner-Kersee

  The reason girls are better athletes than boys has nothing to do with ability. It has everything to do with ATTITUDE. Girls believe in cooperation, teamwork, and sportsmanship. Boys believe in winning, looking good, and trash talking!

  As an example of this, our spies have discovered the following secret sports agenda written by a boy from your school. You will be shocked at how it shows the ways that boys think about sports.

  Today’s Secret Sports Agenda

  1. Meet Timmy at the gym.

  2. Crush Timmy in a game of H-O-R-S-E. Then beat him at P-R-E-T-T-Y-P-O-N-Y and M-E-N-I-N-G-I-T-I-S.

  3. Beat Timmy in a game of 1-on-1. (Unless I count Danny as 1/2! Ha ha!)

  4. Game of Tip-In. I win. (Hey, there is an “I” in “WIN” and I always WIN!)

  5. Get out towels to wipe gym floor clean from Timmy’s bitter tears.

  6. Trash talking and celebrating.

  7. Get a Slurpee. Think about how great I am. (This may take a while.)

  We’re sorry you had to see the ugly truth about boys, but it was for your own good.

  Most girls know that winning is not the most important thing in sports. If you won every single game you played, you wouldn’t bother playing because there would be no point to it. A good sport knows that the important question is not “Am I winning?” but “Am I having fun?” If the answer is “yes,” it does not matter whether you lose a game or not.

  After a game is over, congratulate the other team’s players if they won, and be polite to the losers if you won. A good thing to say to a losing team is just “Thanks for the game.” (It doesn’t make any sense to say “Good game” if you just beat them 58-6 in basketball!)

  Practice, Practice, Practice

  “What separates a winner from the rest of the pack is not raw talent or physical ability; instead it is the drive and dedication to work hard every single day.”

  —Linda Mastandrea, wheelchair athlete

  Although a lot of good athletes have natural ability, most of us have to practice, practice, practice. (Watching excellent athletes and keeping a positive attitude also helps.) But no matter what sport you play, your confidence and abilities will grow in relation to how much you practice.

  Which Athlete Type Is Most Like You?

  Fiery Competitor: These girl athletes are competitive, and they let it all hang out. They can be heard shouting encouragement from the bench or sidelines when they’re not playing. Fiery Competitors aren’t afraid of stress and they like highly skilled sports.

  Not Afraid to Be Alone: This athlete is self-motivated, and she’s also not afraid to perform. But she doesn’t need a lot of chatter or crowds, and she hates ball hogs.

  Social Player: As long as she can do some talking while she plays, this athlete is happy. Relationships are all-important for her, and she needs a sport that allows for that.

  Quiet and Thoughtful: This athlete is an easygoing girl and is not a big fan of high stress sports. But she can be a good team player and is a coach’s dream.

  If the Shoe Fits . . .

  Now see what sport is a good fit for you! The following is not a complete listing of ALL sports, but it might be a good place to get ideas.

  “Confidence, self-esteem, time management, discipline, motivation—all these things I learned (whether I knew I was learning or not) through sports.”

  —Mia Hamm

  Soccer

  Athlete Types: Fiery Competitor, Social Player, Quiet and Thoughtful

  Your main goal (Get it—goal?) should be to grow up healthy. If you want to meet that goal, play soccer! One of the most important things that should take place for a girl is good development of her “bone mass,” which is the density and minerals present in her skeleton.

  Soccer really is one of the best sports for your bone mass because of its unique combination of jumping, changing direction quickly, kicking, and sprinting. These all really help your bones. Goal!

  When soccer got its start back in the Middle Age
s in England, the games used to involve hundreds of players at once. There was no out-of-bounds and full body contact was legal. Because so many people took part the game, it was feared that there would not be enough archers to defend England if the country were attacked. So starting in 1314, four English kings outlawed soccer.

  Obviously, the game became legal again, and soccer is now the most popular women’s sport in the world. Still, you won’t be surprised to learn that women weren’t allowed to play the most popular sport in the world at the Olympics until 1996!

  *In 2003, a professional soccer game in Ireland had to be cancelled because of thick fog. One team’s goalkeeper, Richard Siddall, was left on the field when everyone else had already left; nobody told him the game was cancelled! Siddall couldn’t see through the fog, so he stayed in the goal, afraid that the ball would be kicked at him any moment.

  Skateboarding

  Athlete Types: Fiery Competitor, Not Afraid to Be Alone, Social Player

  Skating might be the fastest-growing sport in the U.S. Some people might think that skateboarding is a “guy” thing, but since more than 25 percent of skaters are girls, that seems like a myth. Another myth about skating is that it isn’t really exercise. To that we ask: “Have you seen many chubby skateboarders?”

  Although it’s not necessary to do tricks to be a skateboarder, you should probably know what some of the most basic ones are. When you’re skateboarding, if you’re right-footed, you will probably put your right foot toward the front of the board and push off with your left foot. If you can, try switching your feet and riding with your left foot on the board. This is called “goofy-foot,” and it allows you to try different tricks and to feel more comfortable on the board.