SANCTUARY OF MINE

by PRATT, S.

  The overhead loudspeaker announces his flight has landed, which almost makes me wish I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. I’m a bunch of nerves and feel like I might start hyperventilating just a little. Big breaths, Mackenzie. There’s nothing to be worried about.

  Like all the other friends and family waiting for loved ones, I stare at the automatic doors, eager for Tyler to come sauntering through them. It’s kind of a surreal moment, to suddenly see a guy who I have only shared a few intimate moments with, yet know so well through the letters he has sent me over the last year and a half. The instant he walks through the doors, his eyes lock with mine. A smile forms on his lips and he stops right in the middle of foot traffic pushing around him. His eyes take in every inch of my face, like they are trailing back over a track discovered long ago. He pauses briefly on my lips before lowering his sight to my neck. I feel naked under my tight fitting top and little white shorts. Levi insisted I wear them to show off my tanned legs, although now I wish I had put on something with a little more fabric.

  Once he has had his fill, he continues his panther-like walk to where I’m standing. He’s taller, with a lot more muscle on his frame, than when I saw him last. His light brown hair is still in a crew-cut leaving his jawline more pronounced. Pacific blue eyes blast me with an excited twinkle, mischief dancing in there somewhere. He drops his backpack at my feet and reaches for my waist. Gently he pulls me towards him and I quickly swallow what’s left of the breath mint I was sucking. Slowly he lowers his lips towards mine, but doesn’t kiss me just yet.

  ‘Hey baby, long time no see.’ His voice is inviting and warm, trailing over my skin like the hot breeze outside.

  ‘Hey,’ I whisper against his lips, but he swallows my words as his lips take over mine. All my anxiety washes away and I suddenly feel as light as a feather. My mouth moves in sync with his, the memory of kissing him bursting through the time that has separated us. There is no one else in the airport at this moment – the sounds of others fading to the background. There is only me and Tyler, reconnecting after all this time. Right now, I think my future is looking pretty damn awesome.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Tyler

  Oh. My. God. I’m struggling not to show how surprised I am at her transformation. Even my dick seems to want to stand up and take notice of the girl in front of me. The woman.I swallow hard, unable to tear my eyes away from her. Gone is the skinny teenager that I knew in school. Fuck, she’s a woman! Her boobs have filled out and she has a roundness to her face that has replaced the hollow cheeks. While I have seen pictures of her since I left, they did nothing to do her justice. She looks healthy and happy, and while still lithe, you can see she’s more comfortable in her own skin.

  I try not to act like an over-hormonal perv, tearing my eyes from the swell of her top where her nipples have hardened under her shirt. She catches me staring at her, and bites her lip to suppress a smile. I quickly drag her out of the crowd who are all heading towards the baggage claim and thrust her up against the wall. I lean forward to whisper in her ear.

  ‘You know, if you keep looking at me that way and bite your lip like that again, you’re really going to make me come undone in the most embarrassing way,’ I growl.

  She smiles, pleased that she has me so rattled. Pfft, I’d even say she looks a little victorious that she has affected me so.

  ‘Just you wait,’ I threaten, enjoying her squeal as I grab her hand in mine and weave erratically between the thrum of people keen on collecting their suitcases. Once I have my duffle bag, I follow her out to the parking lot.

  ‘Nice ride.’

  ‘It’s not mine. Levi’s dad bought it for him for Christmas.’

  ‘How is Levi?’

  ‘The best. He’s loving life and it’s loving him. He really enjoys working at the art gallery.’

  ‘Sounds fun,’ I say as I slip into the front seat next to her.

  ‘He loves it, and he’s already making a name for himself,’ she says proudly.

  ‘I missed you so much,’ I say abruptly, pulling her towards me and kissing her soft lips.

  ‘I missed you too. The letters just never seemed enough.’

  ‘I know what you mean. Let’s get out of here so we can have a little more privacy.’ She grins at me and puts the car in gear. I have no idea how I’m going to wait the ride home without completely wanting to devour her.

  Thankfully the traffic is merciful and we’re soon pulling in to the driveway of my parents’ house. In my opinion, we can’t get out of the car fast enough. My bags are left in the boot for later while we hurry up the front steps. I fumble for my keys while Mackenzie starts driving me crazy, gently scratching her nails on the skin of my lower back. I damn near drop them before finally manage to undo the lock. The door swings open and I sweep her up in my arms as I kick the door shut with my heel.

  I make it as far as the second floor landing when desire takes over. There is no way I want our first time to be hurried or insignificant, but the animal in me needs its release. The couch grabs my eye and I moved to place her gently on top of it, ignoring the drop sheet that is still covering it. She goes down easily, her eyes already glazing over. Her desire fuels my own fire and I can do nothing to stop myself from crushing her as I place my body over hers. I’m sure she can feel the need between my legs, but I don’t care.

  Kissing her mouth, neck and collarbones does nothing to satiate me. I want more. Her tongue finds mine and I let out a throaty groan that resonates in the back of my throat. It only ignites something deeper within her because she starts bucking her hips against mine. Delicate hands thread around my neck, urging me to press as hard as I can against her.

  I’m love drunk and struggle to think clearly. She intoxicates me, hypnotising me into losing control of my actions. There is something ridiculously free about being here with her. I’ve daydreamed about it every single day since I left. Now I’m actually living in the moment things are moving far too fast. I respond to her need, thrusting myself against her fully clothed body. Dry rooting has never felt so fucking fantastic. It’s taking all of my control not to strip off my clothes and have my way with her. The more I actually think about being inside of her, the more aroused I’m getting. By the time I realise I’m in danger of blowing my load in my pants it’s too late. Her breathless panting tips me over the edge. I’m sure she’s coming too, but it’s me who is going to have one hell of a mess.

  I can’t really say I’m embarrassed that I just came in my pants – more sheepish if anything. What I am glad about is that I wasn’t just inside her, because there is no way I would have been tender or forgiving.

  ‘I’m going to have to take a shower.’

  ‘Okay. Do you want me to order us a pizza for lunch?’

  ‘Pizza?’ She has come a long way since milk and apples.

  ‘Unless you would rather go out to eat?’ she offers.

  ‘You sound like my kind of girl. Pizza is just fine, and it means we get to stay in so I can kiss those delectable lips of yours all afternoon.’ I grin stupidly at her before heading for the shower.

  While I wash and change into a fresh set of clothes, I can’t help the bubble of excitement that is brewing in my chest. Being home has never felt so right. With Mackenzie in my life and a promising football career about to begin, I haven’t felt this enthusiastic about life since Kelly died. Maybe Mack has been the key to me healing all along. It doesn’t escape me that I feel a little proud that I may have had something to do with her recovery, but I think for the longest time I have wanted to feel like I’m helping someone other than myself. Like I matter. Like I can save and help someone I care about. If loving Mackenzie is what brings us both happiness and peace in our lives, then I’m down for the count.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Mackenzie

  ‘Your lips look bruised,’ smirks Levi as I hand him back his car keys.

  ‘I’ve been kissed to death,’ I say, flopping down blissfully on our c
ouch.

  ‘Hmm, tell me all about it.’ He lifts my legs up onto his lap so he can sit down next to me. I stare off dreamily into space, reminiscing the day that Tyler just walked back into my life.

  ‘There’s not much to tell really, except that Tyler certainly knows how to kiss.’

  ‘You have to have done more than that?’

  ‘No, just kissed. All day long.’

  ‘No talking?’

  ‘Uh-uh. Unless you count him saying he missed me like a million times.’

  ‘Well, well, looks like somebody is smitten with your arse. When are you going to see him again?’

  ‘Tomorrow. He’s going to come over and see the unit before taking me out for the day.’

  ‘You want him to stay for dinner with us? I can cook if you’d like and I can ask Jonas to join us.’

  Jonas and Levi have been dating since high school. He’s a musician in a home-grown band called Walkers Sorrow. They’re a blues and roots band that travel around the country, catching gigs where they can to try and get themselves exposure. It’s hard on Levi with him being away so much, but I know he and Jonas are tight, despite the distance.

  ‘Sure, that would be great. I’ll ask him tomorrow.’

  ‘Just text him.’

  ‘He’s getting a new phone so we’re going to pick him one up while in Bondi tomorrow.’

  ‘Okay, just message me as soon as you know so I can pick up enough food for all of us.’

  ‘Sure, you want some money?’

  ‘Nah, my treat. Besides, I earn more than you do. Guess who just sold the Delaware piece today?’

  ‘You didn’t!’

  ‘I did. And it came with a tidy bonus for me as well.’

  ‘Damn, why in the hell did I decide to study law?’

  ‘Beats me. I’m gonna grab a shower before I head off to catch a movie tonight. You want to come with?’

  ‘Nope. Thanks for the offer, though. I’m going over to see my dad and his new girlfriend tonight.’

  ‘How’s all that going?’

  ‘Fine, I guess. She’s nice.’

  ‘But?’

  ‘But nothing. I want him to be happy, I’m just not sure she’s the one, you know.’

  ‘I don’t think anyone would be good enough for your dad. You have him on quite a pedestal. If he’s happy just go with it.’

  ‘I’m trying, but it just seems like things with her are going fast. They’ve only known each other a couple of months, but already he’s mentioned she may move in with him.’

  ‘It won’t change your relationship with him.’

  ‘Sure it will.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be such a pessimist!’

  ‘I’m being a realist. She moves in and there will be no more drop-ins and sleepovers for me. She’s at an age now that she probably wants a family of her own.’

  ‘Ah, so that’s what this is all about – him having more kids.’

  ‘Not really. Sort of. But you can’t tell me things won’t change. It’s not that I mind so much, I just want a bit more time with him, just him and me. I feel like he’s only been living in Sydney for such a short time, and it’s the first time we’ve lived in the same place for more than a couple of months in our entire lives. Normally he’s shipped off with the army somewhere. This last year has been the first chance we’ve had at some semblance of normalcy.’

  ‘Well, don’t worry too much about it, Mack. I’ve met your dad plenty of times and there is no way he’s back-benching you, new family or not.’

  ‘Thanks, Levi. You always know just what to say.’

  ‘That’s what I’m here for, honey.’ He kisses me on the head as he trails off to the bathroom for a shower.

  From the couch I have a clear view through the big, glass windows of our apartment. I can see between the two buildings across the street, which affords glimpses of the ocean, still twinkling from the last of the sun’s rays. There are no fly screens which mean we have to battle constantly with flies, but it’s too hot to shut the windows. The smell of fish and chips is wafting in on the breeze, the smell from the takeaway shop below as incessant as the flies. Despite these little trivialities, I wouldn’t swap where we live in the world for anywhere. This place has atmosphere. It has life. And now, it has Tyler. I think about him as I get ready to head over to my dad’s place.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Mackenzie

  Dad’s apartment is just in the next suburb to the Holsworthy Barracks. By the time I get there, the lights are on and I can hear the stereo playing a Tom Waits record. The collective smell of neighbours’ dinners cooking assaults my senses. I haven’t eaten since this morning – a bad habit I’m trying to break. To be honest, avoiding food became such a habit that, even with the effort I’m making, it’s still not high on my list of priorities.

  I take the stairs two at a time to the second floor of the apartment block. While it’s a neat and tidy brick building, the government dime that pays for it couldn’t afford to spring for anything as opulent as its surrounding residences. Dad’s happy here, though. He gets to see me whenever he wants and he gets to indulge his other passion – scuba diving. We’ve had some fun times together since he’s been living nearby. I just don’t want those fun times to end.

  The front door is open, just the security screen a barrier between myself and the kitchen. It’s not locked, so I let myself in. Dad’s oblivious to my arrival, singing along to the music with a wooden spoon in his hand, a beer bottle in the other. His wavy blonde hair is held back with a bandana, and he’s wearing the apron I gave him for Christmas. The one that says, ‘I cook with wine – sometimes I even add it to my cooking.’ I stand, smiling at him, a giggle suppressed within my chest. As he finishes his wailful howling, he spins around to find me leaning against the wall, arms crossed and an amused expression on my face.

  ‘Jesus, Mackenzie, you scared the crap outta me!’

  ‘Sorry, but your performance was too good to interrupt.’

  ‘It was, rather, wasn’t it? Come here and give your dad a hug.’

  ‘Hey daddy.’ Always being a habit of mine, I bury my face in his clothes and inhale his aftershave. It was something I always did as a kid, just in case he never made it back from wherever he was posted.

  ‘How’s my favourite girl?’

  ‘I’m good.’

  ‘Didn’t your friend arrive back in Sydney today?’

  ‘My boyfriend, Dad.’

  ‘Hmm, what’s his name again?’

  ‘Tyler. Not that you’d forget; I think I went on about him enough this last year.’

  ‘You don’t say, I think you just about talked your old man’s ear off.’ I swat his arm with the tea-towel I grab from the bench top.

  ‘Don’t be cheeky! You know he’s important to me.’

  ‘I know, I’m just teasing you because you’re such an easy target. So, when do I get to meet this guy?’

  ‘Soon, I promise.’

  ‘Will I need my shotgun?’

  ‘Daddy!’

  ‘Joking!’ He’s laughing hard, the deep belly kind that is infectious. I laugh along with him as he moves to the stove top to stir the pot of food that is bubbling away. By the smell of things, he’s cooking spaghetti bolognaise. It’s then that I see a wine glass on the bench, filled with a deep burgundy liquid. There’s only one person here who I know drinks red wine.

  ‘So, Jessica is joining us tonight, is she?’ He turns to appraise me, his smile dimming somewhat. I try to plaster a smile on my face, but I think he can tell it is fake and only for his benefit.

  ‘Yeah, do you mind? We kind of wanted to talk to you together, if that’s okay?’

  ‘Sounds serious.’ He has no time to answer. The front screen door is pulled open and Jessica breezes in with shopping bags in hand. She’s hard not to like and I can see why she would make my dad so happy. She’s got long blonde hair and these amazing green eyes – the kind a cat would have. She’s every bit as out-going as he is and I
can see how her youthful personality would complement his. Unlike my mother, there are no lines or wrinkles on her face, no bags under her eyes. Jessica still has her youth, which pounds home the fact that she’s only in her early thirties.

  ‘Hey there, Mackenzie! It’s great to see you.’ She pulls me into a hug whether I’m ready for one or not. She could quite easily be my older sister, but I remind myself that she’s my dad’s girlfriend. She smells of sunscreen and expensive perfume, the kind you get a whiff of when you breeze through high-end department stores.

  ‘Hi Jessica.’

  ‘This is for you,’ she thrusts a bag at me, grinning from ear to ear. I’m taken aback. She’s never given me anything before, so I wonder what the occasion is. Peeking inside the bag, I spot a dress I had admired a week ago when the three of us went window shopping. That little sneak had bought it on the sly!

  ‘Wow, thanks Jessica. You shouldn’t have, though. I know it cost a bit.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, I wanted to. A girl should have nice clothes to wear, and I hear from your dad that you might have a few dates now that your boyfriend is back in town.’ If the ground could swallow people up, I certainly wish it would do me now. My cheeks flush hot as I mutter another thank you. Sheesh! Now the two of them have been talking about my love life!

  I pretend to be busy with admiring the dress while my dad welcomes Jessica with a kiss. He proffers her the wine he’d already poured and I try to studiously ignore their intimate moment.