WOLF DAWN: Science Fiction Thriller/ Romance (Forsaken Worlds)

by Susan Cartwright

  Finally they broke apart, hearts pounding, faces flushed. Ash’s hands reveled in the slim, curvy softness of her waist. He stayed there for a moment and then, with sudden resolution, he dropped his arms and stepped back. He stood apart from her.

  Ash kept his distance, not yet satisfied with her reply. “Lindha. Tell me truly. Would you break your vow because it is your duty as Prefect to supply a requirement of the Trueborn? Or because you want to be with me?” He regarded her with a possessive, fierce glare. Then he turned away. His voice was thick with desire as he said, “Please understand, Lindha. If it is not your wish to give yourself freely, because you want me, then it is definitely not my request.”

  Lindha gazed boldly back at him. “It would be my duty and honor to serve you, Trueborn,” she said, formally. “But I would also wish it. Very much so. Oh, yes,” she breathed.

  A rush of joy transformed him. Ash took her by the hands. Looking down the valley on the trail by which they had come, Ash saw no one. They were alone. It would be better to return to his room, but they would be undisturbed here and he wanted her now.

  Quickly.

  Before she could change her mind.

  28. Healing Mind-Touch

  I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy — ecstasy so great that I would have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness — that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what, at last, I have found.

  — Bertrand Russell

  It was an idyllic summer afternoon on Opan. The weather was balmy; the sky a light emerald green and virtually cloudless. The few clouds to be seen were more luminous pink than white and added an appealing contrast. From up on the low hills where Ash and Lindha stood they could, if they looked, behold a magnificent vista into the valley where the Temple of Jana was elegantly situated. The Temple, a white centerpiece, was proudly surrounded by cobalt blue orchards, a spectrum of purple gardens and violet pastures. All this combined with an artistically meandering jade green river. Against the blue and violet background stood a riotous display of flowers in yellow, black, green, red, white and orange. Some of these flowers had been planted in rows of one color, others were mixed and still others were scattered throughout, like stars in a dark night sky. It was a magnificent sight.

  Neither Ash nor Lindha looked down.

  The moment Ash heard Lindha’s words — ”It would be my duty and honor to serve you, Trueborn. But I would also wish it. Very much so” — he knew no hesitation.

  In one graceful movement, with the speed and agility gained from years of hunting with wolves, Ash swept Lindha up into his arms. His eyes never left her face as he easily lifted her, cradling her against him. Ash knew a thrill of satisfaction when Lindha folded weakly against him as if melting from his touch. She was soft and warm against his arms and chest. And she made no protest.

  Good, he thought with intense satisfaction.

  Ash strode briskly off the trail, moving through the trees, looking for the right place. He watched as he walked, alert in his unconscious wolf-like manner, missing nothing as Long Fang and Seeta had taught him. He could smell only the earthy mulch of leaves, and the rank scent of small game, but no predators. Pig-dogs, boars and wolves lived far from human habitation, yet there was animal sign throughout these woods. He heard a windchime singing from afar and an echoing call nearby: the birds sang in chorus so he knew they were a mated pair. Ash was aware of the sound of their young. With his eyes barely moving he sought and found the nest. There were at least three offspring less than a week old. The chicks were loud to his acutely trained ears. If they had been a few days older they would have learned to remain silent when their mother was absent.

  He strode purposefully, senses alert. All the while Ash was vitally aware of Lindha and hard as stone. He held her tightly against him, reveling in her firm, young warmth, and the smell of her skin. Her face lay against his shoulder, her arms around his neck, and he felt a sense of rightness. Lindha belonged there, right there, a part of him. He moved until he found the perfect spot. It was a dry grassy place, a little blue and violet meadow with tiny yellow wild flowers screened by trees and bushes. Black-tailed dwarf mule deer, genetically altered and imported from Earth had hidden here. Ash saw clear sign, but that had been many weeks ago.

  Ash put Lindha down on her feet and steadied her a moment, his hands warm against her cool bare shoulders. Then he stepped back from her, moved away from her and this felt so wrong; it was as if something vital had been torn from him. Swiftly, Ash unclipped his belt, and threw off his tunic and undershirt, exposing his chest. Unashamed, Ash similarly disposed of his boots and trousers. His naked body gleamed, his muscles hard and ridged, bunched under his smooth white skin. He knew he looked like a wild animal, but that was okay. He felt like one too.

  With his first and only sexual experience having occurred at the age of thirteen — in another man’s body, no less — Ash was tentative about how to move forward. A vast wealth of information assailed him. He had scanned Icom, studying everything possible concerning sex, including detailed holovids. When he discovered that Lindha was chaste he researched everything concerning virgins and the difficulties attendant upon ending that state.

  He wanted Lindha: only Lindha. He had dreamed of this, had fantasized a thousand times.

  Ash knew everything, but had no personal experience of anything.

  His heart pounded hard now and his mouth was dry. He stepped toward Lindha, close to her once more. His hand was shaking as he reached for the back of her dress.

  Lindha smiled like a conspirator. Her bright blue eyes were large and dark with desire. Lindha trembled, but she took his hand and steadied it, guiding it around her neck. Ash found the tab. The joining separated; her red gown came apart from behind, slipping apart softly. Ash helped the gown slide.

  Ash stood back and gazed in awe. Lindha was breathtaking — literally. He found it difficult to breathe. Her figure was trim, her waist curved in hourglass proportion. Her stomach was flat, hips rounded, and her breasts were round and full. He stared with blinding desire at the soft pink of her nipples. Red panties seemed bright against her creamy skin. Ash wanted to ask her if it was okay to take them off, but his throat felt thick and he couldn’t find his voice. He moved forward, put his hands on her hips, and came to his knees before her.

  Neither spoke. Lindha put her hands upon his shoulders, bestowing her consent.

  Ash pulled the material down and off. His breath caught as he got a hint of Lindha’s uniquely feminine scent. He groaned as something primal in his flesh reacted, burning and tearing within him.

  Trueborn! Inhuman!

  The raging beast inside clawed at him, needing to get out, to fiercely take her and make her his. He wanted Lindha, he needed her. He had to possess her completely.

  Ash had once watched a documentary on Icom. Through intensive studies investigators asserted that people chose their partners according to scent. He could believe it now. Or was that was simply science attempting to explain what he was experiencing? For nothing could account for this overwhelming attraction between Lindha and himself. What he felt was more than an animal need; it was powerful … it was magical. Something imperceptible pulled them toward each other. It was all encompassing and it was divine.

  Ash could hardly think. He stood abruptly with swift animal grace, and picked her up, holding her in his arms, skin to skin. Pure heaven. Moving carefully, Ash carefully lay her down in the sweet violet grasses. Ash lay down beside her. He was able to master himself by thinking of Lindha. This was her first time, too. He needed to be gentle and slow. It would take all his control and it wo
uld most likely kill him, but he could do it. He could do it for her.

  His rough, calloused fingers softly traced a pattern across her shoulders, her lips, her neck and her face. “Lovely, lovely, Lindha.” His voice sounded thick, hoarse to his ears. “I do love you.”

  “Oh,” Lindha said, as Ash leaned in for another kiss. His hard chest came up against her softness. He barely stifled a groan. His mouth whispered over hers — soft, so soft and warm. Her breath rushed and mingled with his, fast and shallow. It was a sensual, physical assault as they kissed, tasting each other again and again and again. He could not leave her mouth.

  Ash began a sweet caress, his hands exploring her neck, shoulders, stomach, hip and finally the soft curve of her breasts. His warm callused hands discovered her nipples and this time he did groan. “Lindha,” he murmured, and she responded with soft sounds of her own. She wanted his touch. Ash knew he was setting her alight through tender exploration and the feather touch of his lips as he continued to kiss her, her neck, and her mouth.

  It was then that Ash merged with Lindha. Like a thirsty man he fell into her, and surrounded himself with the cool clear water of her soul.

  Mind-touch with Lindha was fantastic.

  Ash had lost the ability to mind-touch humans, but touching Lindha was instinctive. He hadn’t stopped to think about it, to realize that what he was doing was extraordinary. He had lost the ability to mind-touch people, but contact with Lindha came to him as naturally as breathing. Lindha’s soul was clear, fresh, and sweet as a pure mountain stream. Without thought he drew upon his power, that warm ocean of limitless power.

  In an instant he was bombarded with sensory input: Ash was her, within her flesh, a part of her mind and soul. She felt lightheaded, pliant, and weak with desire. He felt her breasts rise as she breathed, in and out, in and out, with short, rapid breaths. He felt smaller, lighter, softer, his long hair around his neck, a delightful female scent. He felt her feel him, her softness savoring the hard strength of his body. She was aroused; she wanted him. The pull of her desire kindled a burning need that he felt from both bodies, from both minds, from both souls.

  Ash had not the smallest consideration of the severe Delian taboo against mind-touch without express agreement. If one had been able to ask Ash, at that exact moment, why he thought joining body and soul with Lindha and reading her mind without her permission was acceptable, he would have been surprised by the question. Ownership and possession were both already in place. Wasn’t it obvious to anyone that had the heart and soul to see, that he belonged to her? And could they not also see that Lindha already belonged to him? What did consent have to do with it?

  Lindha’s life scrolled out before him as he sought to know her. Everything she was, each momentous event painted in bold strokes with a large, all-encompassing brush. He left the details; they could come later. It was her soul he was drawn to. Like a bright star in a dark night it entranced him. She was wholesome, well-intentioned: she was good. Ash bathed in her purity. Less than a moment had passed since their minds touched. Ash remained still, fully absorbed, timeless within her power.

  Every question, every answer.

  All time, no time.

  All that was or could be, Ash found in this everlasting moment with Lindha. Ash knew her thoughts; he thought her thoughts as she did, as if they were his own.

  This sensual expression was an entirely new experience for Lindha and she savored each moment. So, she thought to herself tingling with sweet arousal and need. Oh Jana! She wanted, she needed, to be closer. Her entire body ached and burned; her mind was full of wonder. So this is love, she thought.

  Lindha knew about love but it was only now that she was really experiencing it that she fully understood why it was so important: it was the essence of life. Love wasn’t just sex. It was what the poets wrote of, what dreamers dreamed of, the joy and spark that lifted the spirit far above the physical to the eternal and beyond.

  Any first time nervousness left her, as if blown away by a forceful gentle wind. Her heart melted. She remembered the large fiery comets crossing the sky of the Constellation chamber: three shooting stars. It came to her then that she had gotten her wish. She had wished for love.

  Lindha concentrated. In that moment she reached out toward Ash with her mind and was able to make contact. She was capable of mind-touch during coupling. Certainty filled Lindha: Ash had been the man in her dreams. He had dreamed of her often — as she had dreamed of him. They were fated for each other, had sought each other soul to soul.

  Ash had no idea that Lindha was able to mind-touch, so their mental union came as a complete surprise to him.

  Perfectly united, they formed a full two-way contact.

  Ash was incredulous. “Lindha?”

  “Yes.” A flood of harmony and joy passed between them. “You have made contact, Ash!”

  “And you have touched me. You didn’t tell me you were able to mind-touch.” This thought jarred their union, a dissonance fuelled by accusation. Ash hadn’t seen this ability in her mind. Had Lindha been hiding this? How could she do that? And what else was she hiding?

  Lindha thought, “The Temple Sisters only are able to contact another mind through physical intimacy. I have never heard of any male with the power.”

  “But you didn’t tell me,” Ash replied, unaccountably betrayed and hurt.

  “This is a closely guarded secret of our order, Ash, and I have taken a vow. Our gift is used only toward enhancing partnership and cannot be disclosed. You would have found out when we became intimate.” She paused, and then added with intuitive acuity. “I have not intentionally hidden anything from you, Ash. Are you hiding something from me?”

  Ashamed, Ash flinched, consumed by guilt. He pulled away and their mental contact was almost broken.

  “No. Ash, wait,” she cried out, refusing to let him go. He hesitated, and Lindha reached closer. Black mental turmoil beat against her like dark, heavy wings: shame, a fear of discovery, a desire to hide. Ash’s emotions were transparent, but his mind was a wall, a barrier erected for protection.

  “There are some things I can’t … I can’t show you.”

  “Ash, do you imagine that there could be something in your past that would make me think less of you?

  “I know there is. Lindha, no. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You won’t lose me. Trust me, my love. Please.”

  “I can’t.” Grief and sadness engulfed them both. Naturally guarded as a child, his time on Opan had only enhanced that state. While he knew about healing mind-touch and the baring of one’s soul, he had never actually exposed himself to another. No one really knew him. The truth of such complete exposure was frightening.

  Lindha, although kind and understanding, was also determined and persistent. She said, “Ash, there is nothing you could have done that could make me love you less. Nothing. I swear it. Let me know all of you.”

  Moments passed, but at length Ash gave in. Crumbling with shame and humiliation, he loosened all barriers, opening his mind. The first thought that she encountered was an overwhelming surge of loss. Ash knew that Lindha would shun and despise him, feeling only abhorrence after she knew the truth.

  Passing on, Lindha boldly looked further. She briefly experienced his life on Delian as a boy: a gray-bearded teacher instructing him; attending royal events, holovids and press conferences, which he hated. The innocent joy he had in walking with Tynan, his best friend and the love of his childhood. The smell of the woods. The soft touch of his mother’s hands. His father’s pride and worry. Time after time he suffered physical illness and pain that almost ended his life. He had battled through and did not dwell. Being sick and weak was unremarkable for him; it was just something to survive. She was awed by Ash’s determination and courage.

  She knew the secret of his meeting with the Seer and felt burning agony in her lungs as she understood the fate of the people of Delian. The Dark Sankomin was a heavy pressure inside. Riding a tide of grief
and regret, Lindha found that Ash felt guilt for the death of his father and mother and the genocide of his race.

  These were hidden thoughts, certainties all too terrible to view. They had been entombed without a trace; buried even from himself. Somehow it was his fault. Ash felt he should never have left his father and the people of Delian. Hidden from view was the pervasive thought: “I should have died with them.”

  The realization was a surprise to both.

  Knowing this irrational unconscious consideration made Ash feel lighter somehow. The heavy mass began to break. A small portion of the Dark Sankomin lifted and the river of Ash’s mind began to trickle through the breach.

  Lindha searched on. Soon she came to the time in Assurance where he had inadvertently made love to his mother. Solid murky disgrace pervaded, hidden to the end. Mentally she uncovered details, as if peeling thick layers of skin from some multilayered fruit. It was then that Lindha found what Ash had most wished to hide, considering worst of all. While trapped in Forseth’s body he had found that he enjoyed it, that he wanted sex with his own mother as much as Forseth did. In a strange, illogical computation of his own, Ash had begun to lose his power to mind-touch humankind at that point. It was then that he had decided that touching people, experiencing their thoughts and emotions, was wrong, perverse and shameful.

  Lindha thought, “This is nothing to be ashamed of, Ash. What happened, happened. It was not planned. You were trapped in an aroused, adult male. Ash could feel Lindha’s knowing mental smile of total understanding. It means nothing more than that you are physically a man. And your mother was a beautiful woman.”

  It was comforting for Ash to realize Lindha held not the slightest hint of judgment of his actions. Lindha’s pervading mental thought was that if she had been in Larren Forseth’s body at the time, even she would have done and felt exactly the same as he had. Her tranquil mental absolution soothed, calmed, and relieved him like water on a burn.