An Ordinary Girl

by Barabara Elsborg

  He looked up at her. “Wimp.”

  Ash raised her eyebrows. “Okay. If you do it first. I dare you.”

  “Pity. Nowhere open at the moment.”

  “I could sterilize a needle.”

  “Fresh out of needles.” Noah held back his smile.

  “I bet you’ve got a corkscrew.”

  He let the laugh out.

  “You’re gorgeous when you laugh,” she whispered. “It’s as if every part of your face joins in.”

  Noah sighed. “So you fancy me then?”

  “A bit. Do you fancy me?”

  He smiled. “A bit.”

  “Which part of me do you fancy the most?”

  “Which part of me are you asking?”

  Ash giggled.

  It was like a game of very slow tennis that no one really wanted to win. Noah was well aware they’d both avoided talking about anything too personal. On his part because he had something to hide. He couldn’t help wondering if Ash did too.

  “There’s not one part of you that doesn’t turn me on,” she whispered.

  She lifted her head to kiss him, and the moment their lips touched, it was as if a firework ignited in his chest, fizzing and sparking as it burned more and more fiercely. His heart rate soared and the kiss shot straight to fast and greedy. Long, deep thrusts of his tongue into her mouth while his hips rocked his cock into her stomach. Ash caught his tongue between her teeth, teased the tip with her tongue, and then sucked so hard, he felt as though she were vacuuming the air from his lungs. When they disengaged, Noah’s breathing was all over the place. He’d forgotten how. Every time they kissed, he wanted her more and more.

  “I’m going to look for a part of you that doesn’t turn me on,” he panted. “Could take a long while.”

  Noah rolled off her, shifted her facedown and then straddled her, his knees on either side of her thighs. Supporting his weight on his elbows, he sank down to bury his face in the back of her neck, rocking his hips to slide his erection down the crease of her bottom. He caught the hair at the nape of her neck with his teeth and tugged, and Ash’s fingers curled as she poured her sigh of pleasure into the pillow.

  The sight of her lying beneath him, the sound of her breathy cries, the feel of her soft, warm body—they all sent shivers of lust racing up and down his spine.

  Noah groaned. “I can’t keep my hands off you.” I can’t keep my cock out of you.

  He slid a hand beneath her, burrowing under her hip to settle between her legs. Hot, wet, oh God. The button of her clit slipped under his fingers as he played with her swollen folds, and Ash groaned. Noah cupped her chin with his other hand, drawing her head back while he continued to nip and lick and kiss her arched neck, still sliding his cock against her. Ash caught two of his fingers in her mouth, sucked hard and then bit him.

  “Oh Christ,” he gasped. How could biting his finger send his cock into a frenzy?

  Noah shifted to one side and fumbled for another condom. More fumbling to slide it on, and then Noah tugged her up by the hips so she knelt on the bed. The sight of her, that beautiful butt in the air, her folds glistening, made Noah’s heart pound against his ribs. A list of what he wanted to do to her took form in his head, but his cock was already nuzzling against her, his hips rocking the head deeper and deeper.

  He plunged into her as if he’d dived off the top board. Exhilaration and excitement in the pleasure of a perfectly timed thrust that was so hard and deep it sent a jolt of pure pleasure shooting up his spine. It also shoved her out of his grip.

  Ash lay sprawled beneath him, laughing. “You’re supposed to hold on.”

  “You could have held on too.”

  “Not with that battering ram behind me.”

  Noah wrapped his hands around her waist and thrust his cock back into her, his hips pumping in an accelerating rhythm while Ash keened with pleasure and pushed back against him. Noah slid his hands up her ribs to her nipples and pulled her back hard into him as he drove into her. He rubbed the swollen nubs with his fingers and panted against her shoulder. And all the time he kept up the relentless rhythm with his hips, pounding her sex with his cock.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasped.

  The wave rose inside him, growing in intensity until Noah’s world contracted into one of acute contentment where the two of them would do this forever. He wanted and didn’t want to come. He mouthed the nape of her neck, gently bit her, and felt Ash tense then unravel beneath him. Her breathy moans and cries wound him tighter, and as her body clenched around his cock, he kept moving, jamming into her in a series of deep, firm thrusts.

  She pulled on him with the muscles of her sex and caught the hot spot under his glans. Noah’s balls drew up and his breath caught as his chest tightened. The head of his cock swelled and then pulsed. A second later, he erupted inside her, the strong convulsions making his body shake. Noah spread his arms over hers and clutched her hands and they slowly sank onto the bed.

  As he started to breathe again, he let out a deep, contented groan.

  “Is that it?” she whispered. “Don’t worry. It happens to everyone. I really don’t mind. Let me know next time when you put it in.”

  Noah laughed. “You little monkey.”

  He pulled out of her and took off the condom.

  “No loving care with a warm cloth?” he asked.

  “Do it yourself. I’ve got what I wanted.”

  Noah smacked her on the backside. Not hard, but Ash’s contented purr was like a lightning bolt in his gut. He walked into the adjoining bathroom, switched on the light and caught sight of himself laughing. Fuck it. She’d made him smile. Noah disposed of the condom, washed his cock and put his hands on the side of the basin as he looked in the mirror.

  You’re allowed to be happy. When the psychiatrist said that, Noah had walked out because it wasn’t true. Noah didn’t feel he could let himself be happy because he damn well didn’t deserve it. He knew there was nothing he could do to change the way things had worked out in Afghanistan. Noah, like everyone else involved, had to live with the consequences of that day. Only he couldn’t live with them. He was letting himself fall deeper and deeper into the hole he’d dug, and one day, Noah was afraid he’d find there was no way out.

  His head dropped and he stared down at nothing. He hadn’t even registered Ash had come up behind him until she rested her head on his back. She curled her arms around his chest and spread her palms over his pecs.

  “You’re sad again,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to be sad.”

  Noah stiffened.

  “Come back to bed. I can make you smile.”

  The tight feeling in his chest wasn’t a good one.

  Ash tugged at him. “Please don’t be sad. Let me make you happy again.”

  Anger bubbled inside him, spurted from his mouth, infecting his words. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  Now she was the one who stiffened. He pulled out of her arms and turned to face her. Somewhere, in the depths of his brain, Noah knew he was being stupid, trying to mask his fear and guilt under anger, yet he couldn’t help himself.

  “This was a pity fuck?” He barked out the words. “You thought letting me fuck you would make me all better.”

  “Yes, but that wasn’t—”

  “You know nothing about me. Nothing.” He gave her a push back into the bedroom.

  “You don’t think you deserve to be happy,” she whispered.

  “Going to play shrink with me now too?”

  “Noah, don’t spoil things.”

  “There’s nothing to spoil.”

  He slammed the bathroom door, locked it and stared into the mirror at a face he loathed.

  This had been a mistake.

  Ash stared at Noah’s bathroom door and her shoulders slumped. His eyes had looked so dead, she hadn’t understood at first what she was seeing and then realized it was pain. He was a jerk, but he was a messed-up jerk. He didn’t mean to be cruel. Ash knew the dif
ference.

  Decision time.

  She could talk to him through the door and try to get him to see sense.

  She could get into his bed and wait until he saw sense.

  Or she could see sense and go home.

  There was a connection between them. She knew he’d felt it, but Ash also knew she couldn’t make people want her or love her. Not that she expected love from him, but still. She left the bedroom and dressed in the hall, hoping he’d emerge, say he was sorry and ask her to stay.

  After Ash had fastened every button on her coat, there was no reason to linger. She slipped out of the flat and closed the door quietly behind her.

  With trains no longer running, Ash took a taxi from London Bridge station. She flung herself in the back and brooded. Sometimes it seemed as though everyone she met had a problem. She knew she couldn’t take all the weight on her shoulders, so why did she always feel she had to try?

  She was exhausted from caring so much. Yet what choice did she have? Next time Mike told her he didn’t have enough money for his share of the gas bill, should she refuse to help him out? When Kay whined that someone fatter, shorter, less pretty than her had got the modeling job she wanted, should Ash point out that maybe attitude had something to do with her lack of success, and that her chances of “making it” were very small? Or should she sympathize and pour Kay a glass of wine and tell her to keep trying. And now Ronan needed support because of his mum. He’d been the only strong one, now he was just like the rest of them.

  The house was dark when she got back. Not a surprise at this time of the morning. Shoes strewn in the hall told her the others were home from the club. As Ash tiptoed toward the stairs, a figure emerged from the living room and she let out a muffled shriek. “Ronan. You half scared me to death.”

  “Sorry.” He scratched his head and yawned.

  “Were you asleep down here?”

  “I must have dropped off. You okay?”

  “Fine.” Ash started up the stairs.

  “Want a hot drink?”

  Not really, but something told her Ronan wanted to talk so Ash came back down. “Sure.”

  He flicked on the light in the kitchen and filled the kettle.

  Ash put her coat over the back of a chair and sat at the table. “Everything okay with your parents now?”

  He turned and grinned. “They’d like me to marry you.”

  Ash gaped at him.

  “They were joking. The fact they can joke means a lot. My mother started chemotherapy and she sounds really upbeat. I know it probably won’t last, but I’m just grateful they’re at least speaking to me now.”

  Ash swallowed hard.

  “So how about you, out until this time in the morning?” Ronan dropped teabags into two mugs. “Kay said he was the guy at the wedding, the one you threw food all over.”

  “Slight exaggeration but yes, the photographer.”

  “You do know Kay is miserably jealous?”

  Ash felt a ripple of pleasure until it was swamped by a tsunami of guilt. Damn.

  “She’ll get over it,” Ronan said. “Did you have fun?”

  “Yep, it was great.” Until it wasn’t.

  Ronan put the mugs on the table, sat opposite and pinned her with his dark gaze. “Details?”

  “He can really dance,” Ash said.

  “I noticed. Then so can you. It’s a wonder the pair of you didn’t set the floor on fire. Did you go back to his place?”

  Ash was slightly puzzled at Ronan’s inquisition. It wasn’t like him to push quite so hard. “We stopped for chips near Borough market and eventually made it back to his flat.”

  “What was it like?”

  Ash paused and then groaned. “I didn’t notice.”

  Ronan laughed.

  “It had a hall and a bedroom.”

  Ronan rolled his eyes. “Do you even remember the address?”

  “Thirty-five Frenten Street. I wasn’t quite lust blind at that point.” Though why bother remembering? Ash clenched her fists under the table. And why did Ronan want to know the address?

  “When are you seeing him again?”

  A shiver ran through her. “He might not call.”

  He couldn’t call. He didn’t have her number.

  He wouldn’t call. He didn’t trust her.

  Ronan set his mug on the table and frowned. “A one-night stand? That’s not like you.”

  “No.” Though that hadn’t been the intention.

  “You want him to call?” Ronan asked.

  “Yes. No. Yes,” Ash whispered. “I don’t know. I really liked him, but…”

  Ronan wrapped one of his hands around hers. “Did he hurt you? Want me to go and drag his intestines out through his mouth?”

  Ash snorted.

  Ronan squeezed her hand. “What happened?”

  “It was great and then it wasn’t. He thought I’d only got into bed with him because I felt sorry for him.” Ash raised her gaze to Ronan’s. “He got angry, but he didn’t hurt me. He just didn’t want me there anymore.”

  “He sounds fucked up.” Ronan let go of her hand and patted her fingers. “You don’t need a guy like that. You deserve someone who treats you like a princess.”

  “Maybe we should get married,” Ash said, and Ronan smiled.

  “Don’t see him again. Whatever his problems are, you don’t need them. Put yourself first for a change, Ash. Look for a prince.”

  Chapter Nine

  Dalton sat at his computer. He couldn’t hear any sounds coming from Noah’s room but that didn’t mean Ash hadn’t spent the night. Dalton had lingered at the club, hoping to speak to Kay, but she’d ignored him. It served him right. He’d said to pretend they didn’t know each other, but he’d wanted to dance with her. When he failed to persuade any woman he fancied to dance, he’d consoled himself with alcohol and not been fit to dance with anyone. As soon as he’d mustered sufficient energy, he’d come home and gone straight to bed. He hadn’t even felt like wanking. At this rate, he’d soon be as depressed as Noah.

  It was a miracle he’d woken with no headache, but it had taken two cups of coffee before he’d settled enough to begin writing. One sentence tweaked and twisted, and Dalton’s bedroom door flew open. He flicked the monitor onto a different screen. Noah never fucking knocked. When Noah walked in looking like shit, Dalton guessed Ash had not spent the night. Maybe she’d not even made it as far as the flat. Damn it.

  “What’s up?” Dalton asked.

  “Nothing.” Noah’s face was blank, his mouth a narrow line.

  Was there ever more meaning in one word? “What happened?”

  Noah slumped on the bed, lay back and flung an arm over his eyes. “We fucked. She left.”

  The fact that they’d fucked was something. As far as he knew, this was the first woman to have sex with Noah in seven months. Probably a lot longer than that since it was doubtful Noah had risked anything in Afghanistan. He shut down the document he was working on and swiveled in his chair. “And was it good?”

  “Fantastic.”

  “But?”

  Noah moved his arm and stared at him. “Who says there’s a but?”

  Dalton shrugged. “You and but go together in more ways than one. What did you do?”

  Noah’s jaw tightened. “Nothing.”

  “You obviously did something. I assume she was—” Shit.

  “What?”

  “Willing?” Dalton wanted the word back even as it escaped.

  Noah glowered at him. “I’m not a fucking rapist. I just said something I shouldn’t have.”

  “Call her and apologize.”

  “I don’t have a phone.”

  “Use mine— What do you mean you don’t have a phone?”

  Noah sat up and put his head in his hands. “It fell in the river.”

  Fucking hell. “Just as well it was insured.” Dalton had sorted that out for him after the last “accident”. “I’ll arrange a replacement. I might as well do
it now.”

  He grabbed his jacket and walked out.

  Noah wanted to tell him not to bother, that he had no one he wanted to speak to and that the only people who wanted to speak to him were ones he was trying to avoid, but he heard the door slam and sighed. Should he try to find Ash? Apologize? Ask her on a date that was more than a prelude to getting her into bed? She might be the cure for some of the crap churning in his head, but he had nothing to offer her.

  Better to leave things as they were, except it was going to take awhile to convince himself of that. Noah pushed himself upright and headed for the kitchen. He was reaching for the kettle when the doorbell rang.

  Had Dalton forgotten his key? Maybe it was Ash. Noah’s heart surged into his throat. It was more likely to be Ilya, come to yell at him and ask him questions he couldn’t answer about Beachy Head. He opened the door to see the guy Ash had been dancing with last night, the one she lived with and his heart went into freefall.

  “Oh God. Is she okay? D-did she get home all right? Fuck it, I should have called her a taxi. I w-wasn’t thinking. I—”

  A hand wrapped around his throat and pushed him back into the flat. Noah registered the door closing, the strength of the grip, and knew he was in deep shit. And then he looked into the eyes of the man holding him and fell straight into hell. The Dom he paid to hurt him was Ash’s housemate, Ronan. Oh fuck. No wonder he’d looked familiar.

  Ronan released his neck and Noah’s knees almost gave way as he staggered against the wall. He straightened and backed away.

  “Oh Christ,” he blurted.

  “Stand still.”

  Noah stumbled to a halt.

  “Finally you recognize me.”

  “I w-wasn’t near enough last night.” Noah rubbed his throat. “How do you know where I live?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Please tell me nothing’s happened to her. Christ, if—”

  “Shut up,” Ronan barked.

  “We’re not in your f-fucking realm now.” Noah spat out the words. “Tell me she’s okay.”

  “She’s okay.”

  Noah sagged. He got over the relief of knowing Ash was fine and then faced the fact that he’d just let Trouble with a capital T into his flat.