An Ordinary Girl

by Barabara Elsborg

  Noah dropped the house phone and picked up his cell. Ronan answered on the second ring.

  “No,” he said. “She hasn’t come home.”

  * * * * *

  By Friday evening, guilt weighed too heavily on Ash for her to stay any longer in the hotel. The media speculation had died down. There’d even been an interview with Detective Inspector Marshall who’d said Ash should be left alone. He reminded people she’d been a young child when her parents had been arrested, her life had been one of severe mental and physical abuse and she’d done everything she could to help the police. There was nothing wrong in changing her name and trying to put the past behind her.

  But it was too late. Ash couldn’t put everything behind her. She couldn’t escape the girl she’d been, only try to make her the woman she wanted to be. She owed explanations to a lot of people, and without her phone, she could do very little. So she went home.

  * * * * *

  The moment she stepped into the house, Mike came out of the kitchen.

  “Ash,” he gasped.

  Ronan appeared behind him. He rushed forward and pulled her into his arms. Ash felt Mike hug her too, and she fought not to cry.

  “You are such an idiot,” Ronan muttered into her hair. “How are we supposed to cope without you? Where have you been?”

  She let herself be tugged into the living room.

  “A hotel. I thought the press might have people here.”

  “They did. They were outside for a couple of days, but Ronan got rid of them. Are you okay?”

  Ash dropped onto the couch. “Yes and no.” She looked up at Ronan. “You went through my stuff.”

  “We we worried about you. I know I broke the rules, but you’d have done the same.”

  He was right.

  “Am I forgiven?”

  Ash nodded.

  “Want something to eat, to drink?” Ronan asked.

  “I’ve made spaghetti bolognaise.” Mike beamed.

  “And I persuaded him to wash up as he went along,” Ronan said.

  “Yeah well, who knew you were so good at arm wrestling?” Mike glared at Ronan and smiled at Ash. “I’ll set the table for three.”

  “I need to make a couple of calls.” Ash rose to her feet.

  “Large glass of wine or small?” Mike asked.

  “Huge,” she said.

  “I’ll be guarding the door. No running away.” Ronan gave her a stern look.

  Ash ran upstairs and stumbled to a halt when she reached her room. Over by the window was the dress box from Paris. Her lip trembled and she bit it so hard she tasted blood. Grabbing her phone from the wardrobe, she went to sit on the bed.

  She could have just taken her things and gone to live in another city, but her past would still be there waiting to claw at her. It was time to stop running, stop hiding and be honest.

  “Martin, it’s me.”

  “Ah. Holiday not work out?”

  Ash was relieved he didn’t sound angry. “I’m sorry.”

  “What for?”

  “Not telling you everything.”

  “Why should you have told me? It wasn’t something I needed to know, was it?”

  Ash took a deep breath. “There is no uncle. I provide the funding for Green Piece. I’m using the money my murdering bastard of a father left me.”

  Martin sighed. “I’d wondered over these last few days and started to put two and two together. So, is that it? Are we done?”

  Her heart lurched. “No, we’re not done. Not unless you want out. Do you?” She held her breath.

  “No. You took me on when no one else would. We work well together. I like you, Ash.”

  She smiled. “I want to keep Green Piecegoing. I’ve had another idea for more projects. The gardens of injured servicemen back from Afghanistan. We could make them accessible and easy to manage. I’ve chosen the first one. Take this down.” She gave him Dave’s number. “He’s expecting a call from you.”

  “Okay, I’ll get on it.”

  “I did wonder if you wanted to practice on his garden for Chelsea.”

  Martin gave a yip of delight. “See you next week?”

  “See you.”

  “Oh Ash, what about Noah? Will he come too?”

  A brief but paralyzing burst of pain hit her chest. “I haven’t seen him. ’Bye, Martin.”

  Ash made the next call before she could change her mind. No point trying to compose in her head what to say because she doubted her brain and mouth would cooperate.

  Not a problem. Noah didn’t answer. That says everything.

  Back downstairs, she put on her cheerful face and went into the kitchen.

  “Wow, it is clean in here. How come you didn’t wash up as you went along when I suggested it?” she asked.

  “Ronan is kind of persuasive. He’s also bloody strong, considering he messes around with paint brushes all day.”

  “Built your bridges?” Ronan pulled out a chair for her.

  “I confessed to Martin I don’t have a benevolent uncle.”

  Mike ladled sauce onto her spaghetti. “Green Pieceis yours?” he blurted.

  “I’m using the money my father left me. God, I hate calling him that.”

  “The garden business is a good thing to do, Ash.” Ronan smiled at her.

  They all began to eat.

  “This is delicious,” Ash said. “I’m so sick of room service.”

  Mike twirled his fork on his plate but didn’t lift it to his lips. “Do I have this right? You own this house. You fund a business that makes no money just does good deeds. You only work a paid job for two days a week.”

  Ash filled her mouth. Ronan had a half-smile on his face while Mike looked increasingly confused.

  “Am I missing something?” Mike asked.

  “What would you do with money from someone so evil?” Ash asked. “I bought a house, but I didn’t want to live here alone. I wanted the family I never had. I ended up with a bitch of a sister, but two brothers who mean the world to me.”

  Ronan reached across the table to stroke her arm.

  “Oh Christ,” Mike muttered. “You didn’t… Oh fucking hell, Ash. It was you, the anonymous benefactor? You paid off the loan?”

  She shrugged. It was pointless denying it. “The debt was crippling you and it wasn’t even your debt. I went to see Logan and—”

  Mike’s fork clattered to the table. “You did what?”

  “He was quite reasonable.”

  Ronan sniggered.

  “It’s not fucking funny,” Mike snapped. “The man’s a thug.”

  “He was a pussy cat,” Ash lied.

  Mike blew out a long breath. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back of course.”

  “No, you won’t,” Ash said. “I’m trying to get rid of this money.”

  “Oh God. I don’t know what to say.” Mike clasped her hand. “Why don’t you fancy me?”

  Ash laughed. “You know damn well I’m not your type. I chose you carefully. Kay not so carefully. I still partly blame you.” But she made sure he knew she was joking.

  “Talking of choosing. Have you spoken to Noah?” Ronan asked.

  She focused on her wine. “He’s not answering his phone. Not a surprise really. I saw how many calls he made to me that went unanswered. I doubt he wants to see me ever again.” Ash forced a curve on her lips but couldn’t maintain it.

  “Sure about that?” Ronan tipped his chair back and reached to scoop up an envelope from the counter.

  Ash opened it.

  Knyaz Arkady Golitsin

  Requests the pleasure of your company

  At the celebration of his 60th birthday

  At Floriton Hall

  On the 10th September 7:30 p.m.

  Carriages at midnight

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Noah avoided the lights and music coming from the public rooms and headed for the private side of Floriton Hall. He locked a smile on his face and pushed open the door of his father’s
drawing room. “Happy birthday, Papa.”

  He put down the present he’d bought and gave his father a hug. The embrace was maintained longer than Noah expected and his throat tightened. He felt a bit like the lost sheep, only he still hadn’t found his way home, not really.

  “Are you okay?” his father asked.

  Noah shrugged. He wasn’t okay, but he didn’t want to spoil his father’s celebration. He only intended to stay at the ball long enough to be seen and then he’d disappear.

  “I wondered where you’d got to,” Ilya snapped from the other side of the room. “I said seven o’clock. Typical that you—”

  “Ilya!” their father barked. “Shut up.” He turned to Noah. “You look very handsome.”

  The three of them were in tuxes and wing-tip collar shirts, but where their father wore a silver bow tie, theirs were black.

  “I wish your mother…”

  Noah put his arm around his father’s shoulders, and at the edge of his vision saw his brother stiffen, a tic fluttering over his cheek. Noah sometimes thought their mother’s death had more of a profound impact on his brother’s life than his own. Noah was always on his father’s heels while Ilya worshiped their mother.

  “Open the champagne, Ilya,” their father said.

  A bottle of Cristal sat chilling in a silver ice bucket. Once they all held a glass, they knocked them together.

  “To you, Papa,” Ilya said. “Congratulations on your birthday.”

  “Congratulations,” Noah echoed.

  “Who are you two? Where am I again?” their father asked.

  Noah snorted.

  “Don’t joke about it,” Ilya said.

  Their father sighed and shook his head. “Rather I cried? I’m not dead yet.”

  “Sorry,” Ilya mumbled.

  The cold champagne slipped smoothly down Noah’s throat into an empty stomach. Maybe he’d eat before he left.

  Ilya handed their father an envelope. “My gift.”

  Noah’s heart sank. It was bound to be something extravagant. The gasp from his father confirmed it. Shit. It wasn’t a competition, though Ilya always acted as if it were.

  “I remember you saying how much you wished you’d taken up astronomy,” Ilya said.

  Noah’s heart hit his feet. Double shit. He and Ilya had been thinking along the same lines.

  “A trip to Hawaii and you’ve arranged a special visit to the observatory on the Big Island?” Their father beamed. “I didn’t think the public was allowed to—”

  “They’re not,” Ilya said. “I called in a few favors.”

  “Fantastic. That’s wonderful, Ilya.” His father hugged him. “Thank you.”

  Noah stood uncomfortably next to the gift he’d bought. “Prepare yourself for disappointment.”

  “You could never disappoint me.” His father caught Noah’s cheek and turned his face so that they looked at each other. “Never.”

  “I’ve tried not to,” Noah whispered.

  A moment passed between them, and then his father ripped away the wrapping to reveal a telescope.

  His father laughed. “Great. Now I can stargaze here. Thank you, Noah. Did you two conspire?”

  “No.” Ilya glared at Noah, and Noah looked away. The days when he had his brother had done anything together were long gone.

  By the time Noah helped himself to another glass of champagne, his mood had mellowed. It wouldn’t kill him to be pleasant for the evening. All he had to do was not think about—

  “Have you heard from Ash?” his father asked.

  “No.” Noah had given up hoping she’d call. It seemed ironic that he could see past what her mother had done and she couldn’t.

  “Good,” Ilya snapped. “Make sure you ask Sophia to dance first.”

  “I’m not dancing.”

  Ilya glared. “Why not?”

  A smile slipped onto Noah’s lips. “I’ve decided never to do anything you tell me again. I was thinking the other day how it always seems to get me into trouble. The hole in the greenhouse roof, the statue in the lake, Sophia.”

  “Noah, I need you to dance with Sophia,” Ilya said, his tone pleading.

  “If I feel like it.”

  “It’s important she enjoys herself. I’m trying to do business with her father.”

  “You dance with her then,” Noah said.

  “I will, but she’d rather dance with you.”

  “Tough,” Noah muttered.

  “Look, you little sh—”

  “Play nice, boys,” their father said. “Noah, it won’t kill you to dance with Sophia. Ilya, if you tried saying please once in a while, you might find people will respond better.”

  * * * * *

  As the three of them made their way to the formal rooms where the guests were gathering, Noah made a promise that after nearly ruining his life himself, he wasn’t going to let anyone else do it for him, especially his interfering brother. Ash had made Noah see that a happy future was possible, but maybe it was time to accept that it might not be with her. He swallowed hard but the lump remained in his throat.

  He had to let Ash go. He couldn’t make her want to be with him. She shouldn’t feel guilty about Natalia’s death, but Noah knew only too well the power real or imagined guilt could wield. He needed to think of his father and—though it annoyed him to admit it—Ilya as well. If Noah brought Ash into their lives, would they think of what happened to Natalia every time they looked at her? It wasn’t the same for Noah because he loved Ash. The thought brought an ache to his heart.

  I love her. I don’t want to lose her.

  Until Ash told him to his face that she didn’t love him, how could he walk away?

  * * * * *

  Ash was caught between laughter and tears. How the hell did I let Ronan talk me into this?

  “Bend,” Ronan said.

  “I am.”

  He was trying to stuff her into a black cab, but the dress was resisting. Ash twisted her hips, shot the last couple of feet and ended up sprawled over the seat.

  “Cute backside,” Ronan said.

  Ash squeaked and reached behind to try and flatten the material. Mike opened the door on the other side and helped her upright.

  “I don’t want—” she began.

  “If you say that once more, I swear…” Ronan glared at her.

  Mike kissed her on the cheek. “Have a lovely time.”

  Ash smiled. “’Bye, Mike.”

  Ronan sat beside her and closed his door. If he hadn’t agreed to come with her, Ash wouldn’t be doing this. She wanted Mike to come too, but Ronan was the only one brave enough to gatecrash.

  His hand crept over hers and squeezed her fingers. “Stop worrying. You look gorgeous.”

  “I look like one of those dolls used to disguise toilet rolls.”

  He laughed. “You look ravishing.”

  Ash knew he was only trying to cheer her up but when she’d put the dress on, her heart had swelled with…excitement, pleasure, hope. Noah wouldn’t have sent the dress if he didn’t want her to wear it. He wouldn’t have sent the invite if he didn’t want her to come, though Ash wished he’d talked to her. She felt terrified about meeting his family, but if Noah held her hand, she thought she could face anything.

  * * * * *

  Oh shit. Ash walked into the magnificent ballroom on Ronan’s arm and pleaded with the floor to open up and swallow her. Snorts of laughter from close by sent ice zooming around her veins and she shivered. She could have coped with sneers because they knew who she was, but not because she looked an idiot. How crazy was that? How shallow was that?

  “Courage,” Ronan whispered, and gripped her more tightly.

  “Get me to a corner,” Ash whispered back. “Try to stop me from knocking anyone over on the way.”

  Ronan led her to the side of the room.

  Bloody Valentina for making her think this was what to wear. People were staring and some were sniggering. Until she’d walked in, Ash had felt gla
morous. Now she felt an idiot. The women all wore slinky evening gowns, some bigger than others but no sign of any other full-bodied ball gowns.

  “Please, please, please take me home,” she whispered.

  “No.”

  When she tried to pull free, Ronan didn’t let her go.

  He bent his head to her ear. “Listen to me. You look fantastic. You’re not a coward. You can do this.”

  But Ash’s confidence had packed its bags and scuttled off with its tail between its legs. Why had she believed Valentina? Even when Noah had questioned the style in the store, Ash hadn’t registered she’d been tricked.

  “Maybe if we sneak into a bathroom with a pair of scissors?” Ash barely restrained her whimper.

  “You need a drink,” Ronan said. “Stay here and I’ll get us some champagne.”

  Ash wanted to beg him not to leave her but instead she took a deep breath and scanned the bustling crowd for Noah. She sighed when she spotted him walking beside the man she now knew was his father. The guy on his other side had to be Ilya. Ash’s heart pounded. Noah looked so handsome, but he wasn’t smiling.

  He hadn’t seen her yet and Ash trembled with anticipation. He was yards away, though several people stood between them. If he’d just turn. His brother turned first. When Ilya gaped at her and then pressed his lips together, Ash realized he knew who she was. Looked as if Noah hadn’t told them she was coming, which would make things even more difficult. Before Noah saw her, Ilya sent his brother and father off in a different direction and then he advanced on her like a wolf.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” he whispered.

  Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed her wrist and pressed something on the wall behind her. Ash had a split second to think about screaming and decided not to. He wouldn’t hurt her. I hope. Ilya bundled her through a hidden door into a small, dimly lit sitting room. The opening closed behind them.

  “Answer my question,” Ilya snapped.

  “Noah invited me.”