Sliding her rounded lips over his slick hardness, January found her peace. She cared immensely for Nigel. Dammit, she hated herself for admitting that she was close to maybe even falling in love with him.
Emotion swirled into the trickles of pleasure that raced through her body. Sex was no longer a game—or in some cases, a competition. She’d finally learned how the act of joining together in this state of bliss linked to incomparable feelings.
As she moved her head faster to pleasure the entire length of him, Nigel reached back to gently cushion her head. He certainly didn’t want January to hurt herself as he’d just done. In the glow of the flashlight, she squirmed in delight, pressing and rubbing her nipples against his thighs as she lured him deeper down her throat.
In this loving act of deference, she sought gratification in the thrills she could bring to him. From her spot on the cellar floor, she shivered, but his other roaming hand sought to warm her skin. She no longer had to live this life alone. At last, she had faith in the pure virtuousness of a man, and with that affinity for Nigel, orgasm found her, bathed her and wrapped January in its rippling comforts.
She wanted to reach out and grab his ass. She needed to pull him as close as she could. Restrained, she had to trust and rely on Nigel to give her what she craved. Even as she allowed herself to slip into the thralls of passion, she never faltered on her own duties.
Instinctively, his hips pulsed while his cock tingled over the expertise of her strong and talented lips. Nigel needed this moment of affirmation just as much as January did. He had to know that he was fine just as he was, even while he disappointed himself in trying to prove that he could be the authoritative force she needed in her life.
And for a few fleeting seconds, as he ravished her lips, he allowed himself to believe that he was her Maestro—and that all would work out in the end.
In his soul, January had unearthed the hopeless romantic that had been buried for far too long. She was different than any other woman he’d dated. Status and career meant nothing if happiness didn’t exist at the end of the tunnel. January seemed to admire the fact that he chose to run the stables and help his parents build their dream. In some ways, Nigel slowly came to realize that their ambitions were his, too. And January just jumped right into the fray. Initially, he thought she’d just play along for a couple of days, but she invested her emotions into his small family.
Although she professed her love for kink, January also proved to him that harmony was most important to her at this stage of her life. No longer could she give her heart so freely and sacrifice her own happiness.
“Yes, my sweet January…”
Her throaty moans rolled along his cock, as he brushed the damp tendrils of black hair from her face. Eyes locking as she pulled at the leather straps, they paused for only one moment before Nigel fed her with the seed to his soul.
As she stretched her neck to drink in every last drop that he poured into her mouth, she rocked in steady motion with him, accepting all that Nigel had to give her in this raw, wanton rush.
Her small hands formed fists above her head. She immersed herself in that wild rumble that throbbed between her legs. The build to her pleasure filled her with energy, catapulting her into divine sensations that shook her body inside out. In that heat of the moment, she reached the top of the plateau without inhibition.
“Amazing…” Nigel’s raspy voice echoed in the dark little room. “Inside and out…you are amazing…”
Although January carried on, cleaning him from his head to his steel stomach with the stiff tip of her tongue, she absorbed his words, comforting herself in the sentiment. She promised him she wouldn’t cry, but that vow faded with the tumultuous shocks of her fulfillment.
After releasing each hand, he circled her wrists with his lips. As he stared into her eyes, he asked, “How are you, love?”
Love. That word warmed her heart and froze her soul.
“I-I’m good.”
The ever-dimming light on the phone flickered while he found their clothes on the floor. First, he helped January into her panties, and bra and then he eased her crops over her legs, massaging her sore knees as he moved along. Once she was fully clothed, Nigel tended to his own, and then he helped her to stand for a long tender kiss that left her clamoring for her own breath.
“Thank you, Nigel, for indulging me.”
“Thank you, January, for teaching me…”
However, when the phone died, and the light disappeared, she screeched.
“Fuck, it’s a blackout!”
“Where’s your phone? Don’t you have a flashlight?”
“It’s the in the room! I didn’t think I’d need it.”
“Alright, next time you neglect to bring your phone into a bloody basement, I’ll punish—”
The sudden shattering of glass preceded the swoosh of the twenty-year-old bottle of Bordeaux as it shimmered along the floor.
“January—”
“Don’t start on me, Dommy…”
“That’s Maestro—Maestro de Sade to you…and don’t you forget it.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Don’t you look absolutely divine…” Nigel’s lips froze in an almost delicate, gaping smile as January slipped quietly down the stairs to the lobby that evening for dinner.
Light on the makeup just as he preferred, she covered her mouth while he reached out to lift her other hand for a kiss. With her hair curled subtly at her shoulders, she wore a simple short halter dress in black satin with white polka dots—fun and flirty for their final date.
However, she couldn’t stop smiling at Nigel. “You clean up nicely, too.” The kiss of her lips brushed his cheek. Dressed in a simple white linen suit and yellow oxford, Nigel presented himself as the epitome of the typical English gentleman. No one would have guessed that just a few hours ago, he’d shed his shorts in the basement for a blowjob.
“Handsome man,” she admired him as she wiped her tinted lip gloss away from his face. “Can I interest you in a dinner date?”
“How could any man refuse you?”
Linking arms, they sauntered toward the restaurant, ignoring the stares and whispers surrounding them. With only hours left in their own private world, neither one of them wanted to leave it, even for a second.
All the while, Nigel’s attention never drifted from January.
After settling at their table by the window that overlooked the lawn and garden that was filled with temporary pieces of modern art, he noticed her lavender locket and touched his finger to the pendant. “You wear it well.”
“I haven’t taken it off yet,” she told him. “And I don’t plan to take it off.”
Just as with nearly every meal they’d shared together over the last two weeks, the affection flowed. However, that night, January just couldn’t stop touching him. In her mind, she had one last chance to convince herself that he was real—that she wasn’t about to wake up from some beautiful but unattainable dream. She tickled his earlobes and held on to his shoulder for emphasis. She allowed her knee to press against his, while she held on to his hand.
January just couldn’t face separation. All the while, though, that nagging clock continued to tick away in her mind.
“So, you’re heading home to Kansas after the movie?”
Nigel’s abruptness as dessert arrived rendered her unguarded—vulnerable to her own hopes and fears.
“I promised my mother,” she reminded him. “And I promised myself that I won’t break that.”
“That’s one thing I would never ask you to do.” He rested his elbows on the table and folded his hands above his coffee cup. January wondered if that was his way of telling her he’d had enough physical contact for one evening. “I guess…I suppose I was just curious what your plans are. Have you thought about returning to Paris?”
Although she hated to speak the truth, January refused to lie to Nigel. “I feel like I still have a score to settle with Paris. Maybe.” Over and over,
she stirred her spoon into her black coffee, a nervous mannerism which Nigel caught in silence. “And what about you? Any chance you’ll ever go back there?”
“I doubt it.” Likewise, Nigel had to be truthful with her. “I think Paris settled her own score with me.”
Unable to tolerate this distance growing between them, she took his hand in hers. “And that’s okay.”
“Well, I rather like Provence,” he admitted. “I came here in grief, never expecting to stick around. But I’ve enjoyed helping my parents. And while there’s still a lot left to be done, I see a lot of potential on the property. It’ll take some time and hard work, but that never frightened me.”
“You enjoy the stables, too,” she pointed out.
“I do, but that’s not going to sustain me, financially. I just need to learn the fine art of hosting, like my mother,” he said and stopped for a moment to smile. “Or hire one. Know anyone?”
Bashfully, she looked away. “I may have someone in mind.”
“And what about you? You’re certainly not all that pleased with Hollywood,” he observed. “What’s next for you?”
January just shook her head. “I honestly don’t know. I may take some time off—from filming.”
With a chuckle, he asked, “To find yourself?”
“Actually, yes.” Again, she dropped her head to hide her eyes. “She’s been missing for a few years. But I feel her inching her way back…”
Some wine was left in his glass, and Nigel switched off from his coffee, unsure of what he really needed. He took a deep breath, and he gave her hand a squeeze. He needed to muster his confidence.
“I’m going to be very brazen here. Now…I don’t want you to make a decision tonight.” To gain a few seconds along with his confidence, he straightened his collar. “But I’m just going to say that I truly hope you’ll find a spot for me in this new life…”
Lips seeking his, she crawled her hands through his hair, but he held her back from kissing him.
“Dommy, I—”
“Not tonight, my sweet lady,” he whispered. “I want you to step back from all of this. I want you to think about what you need and what you want. And then I want you to tell me—I want you to talk to me. And I want to know what you’ve figured out, be it good or bad.”
“But Nigel, I just want to—”
“January, I was heartbroken once, and I don’t intend to go that route again,” he warned her. “We’ve had a beautiful time together, but I don’t want this to be one-sided. I’d prefer that you take the time and consider your options, rather than succumbing to the heat of the moment.”
“Nigel, I…” She knew that no words could change his thinking. He didn’t want a snap decision. He needed her sincerity, and at the moment, he didn’t feel that she was prepared to face the truth yet. She needed to step away from both Nigel and Etienne before she could discover the truth in her heart. “Thank you—for this beautiful last night…I mean…beautiful end to this trip.”
Nigel’s hands covered hers and held them. He hoped that wasn’t a Freudian slip on her part. “Let’s not get hung up on words. Let’s just enjoy this time together.”
Wide awake, neither January nor Nigel felt like heading back to the room at the close of dinner. Instead, they ordered a bottle of wine and some disposable glasses and took off to explore the property in the dark. The gardens were so quiet that every movement in the surrounding woods amplified.
They found a spot and settled down with the bottle in the grass. The flutter of wings above them prompted Nigel to cover his head with his hands, but January didn’t flinch over the sounds of the creatures of the night.
“That had to have been a bat,” he insisted. “You didn’t hear that? It seemed so close…”
“Know how many late nights I’ve spent in the fields?” she chuckled. “Not much scares me in the great outdoors. Unless of course, someone actually found Bigfoot.”
“Bigfoot?”
“You know—Sasquatch.”
“You’re not a believer, are you?”
“Me? Oh, no,” she dismissed him. “Now, if they found one—and got some DNA samples—well, then, maybe…but they haven’t.”
Pulling her closer, he kissed her lips. “You are truly unique, you know that?”
“I just want to have fun at this point,” she reflected. “I’ve worked hard, non-stop. I saved. Now, it’s time for me to enjoy life a little more.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Nigel said and tapped his plastic cup to hers. “Cheers.”
As they sipped their wine under the starry sky, January leaned back against his chest. Instinctively, Nigel wrapped his arms around her.
“So, you’re really thinking of expanding the family business?” January asked, drawing his focus back to their earlier conversation. She needed to get some sense of what he planned for his own future. “Renovating and building things out?”
“You know, the more I’ve thought about it recently, it just seems like the logical thing to do,” he said. “And it might be nice to pass along to future generations. If I’m that lucky.”
“So, you do want children?” Her greatest fear remained. With every passing day, she worried she’d never have a family of her own.
“Of course, I do. I really enjoy teaching riding lessons, and it’s been fun getting to know my students. I don’t think I could carry on into old age if I didn’t have a legacy,” he admitted. “And what about you? Have you thought about having children?”
Nearly every minute of the day, she thought. “Most definitely. I mean, I put it off for my career, but it’s not out of reach.” Hell, she’d even started thinking about artificial insemination and adoption, if this husband or life partner thing didn’t work out.
“I think you’d be a fun mum,” he told her. “You’re the type who would get down on the floor and play—and teach them about the world beyond their own.”
No one had ever commented on her potential parenting skills before, and the thought made her smile. Maybe he was thinking well beyond the summer’s end.
“As long as they didn’t discover the secret compartments in my Paris apartment…”
Bolting straight up, Nigel’s quizzical look amused her. “Secret compartments?”
“Mommy’s playroom.” Her voice brimmed with seductive persuasion.
“Oh…oh, that kind of secret compartment.”
“Maybe one of these days, you’ll come over and…play with me…”
“Oh, January…”
Turning rather sharply, she rested her hands on his shoulders. “Do I really shock you?”
“Well, no—not too much.”
January couldn’t resist pinching his cheek. “Aside from your sexual escapades with me, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
“Well, I…I just don’t know,” he stammered. “My wildest moments have truly been with you—and that’s not a bad thing.”
“Really?” she pressed him. “You never just said to yourself, ‘I wanna do something stupid tonight!’ Not even at university? Don’t all college boys do something insane at least once in four years?”
“A friend did dare me once to swim nude in the Thames.”
Excitedly, she huddled closer. “So, you did?”
“Swim nude in that filthy water? Oh, no.”
Disappointed, she dropped her head into her hands. “My sweet, charming Nigel, you’ve been too good! Don’t you ever just feel like littering? Or running a red a light when you’re the only one on the road? Or…or randomly swearing, really loud?”
“Now, if we all just arbitrarily did those things, what kind of world would we live in?”
“Come on. Curse for me,” she begged. “Just let it out—you’ve only got the wildlife in the fields for an audience.”
“We’re in a public garden,” he reminded her.
“No one’s around. And they can’t hear you back at the hotel.” January wasn’t sure if that was true, but she sh
owed her confidence to him. “Please Nigel?”
“Oh…alright. But just so that you’ll stop.” He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Fuck you!”
“Oh, you can do better. Channel your inner Ceelo Greene,” she coached him. “Louder.”
“Fuck you!” he shouted again, but still, he left her longing.
“Once more—with feeling! Let those bats hear you…”
Staring up at the navy-blue night sky, he searched for his inner-bad boy, exhaled and then wailed, “FUCK YOU…you…you…” His voice echoed into the darkness. “Did you hear me? I said FUCK…YOU…YOU…YOU…YOU…”
Far off in the distance, a French accent echoed back. “FUCK YOU, TOO!”
In the grass, they curled up together in a fit of laughter. January, admittedly, hadn’t dared to be as silly as she was with Nigel in a very long time. Perhaps they both brought out the kids within each other.
They were in no hurry to move from that spot. January figured she’d just sleep on the plane. She certainly had a long trip ahead of her. That night, she just wanted to appreciate the time she had with Nigel—to talk to him and giggle softly. He’d told her so much, but she always felt that there was so much more to uncover. Curiosity overtook her need to sleep.
Long after the wine had disappeared, they finally decided to make their way back to the hotel. All was silent but for the delicate snore of the front desk attendant. Step by careful step, they tiptoed to their suite, holding on to each other in the dimly lit halls.
It didn’t take them long to undress once they’d closed the door. Nigel kissed her just inside the foyer, hands roaming as he unzipped and plucked away at her dress and lingerie.
For a crazy, fleeting second, January considered avoiding the condom, but she knew how irrational that thought could prove to be. However, Nigel had a way of muddling her focus. All she had to do was look his way, and she found herself melting. These next few weeks could prove to be the loneliest of her life, but when she thought back to her time with Etienne, she realized she had become immune to the feeling.
As he raised her up to sit on his lap, January looked into his eyes. “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered. “More than you know…”
SMITTEN (Paris Après Minuit) Page 35