One last time, she rode his cock, immersing herself in every sensation his loving afforded her. She embraced every second of pleasure as if it were the first time, and she clung to the memories of their shattering union.
No, this couldn’t be the last time she’d have with him. Somehow, she had to sort things out. One way or another, January had to find a solution. She’d always prided herself on being a woman who could have it all, and now was the time to prove that to herself.
Ensconced in the finality of the passing moments of affection, January held on to him as if she’d been dangling from a cliff. However, time didn’t last forever. While pleasure warmed her, she had to distance herself once again.
As the sun came up, Nigel wasn’t so quick to get her moving, and she snuggled close to him with her eye on the clock on the nightstand. Reluctantly, she crawled out of bed an hour before she was due at the airport, and Nigel followed her into the shower. Saying goodbye was never easy, but that morning, a new sadness seized her heart.
Already, she felt empty, lost—alone again in a big world. She thought back to her first days in New York City, and she remembered that sense of anonymity that plagued her. Although she had her entire life before her, she had no idea which road was truly the right path to happiness. Now, she found herself standing in that same spot once again.
As the tires crackled over the gravel when they pulled away from the chateau, January looked behind her, clambering backward to recall the last few hours they’d shared together. Time was indeed cruel, and she wanted those seconds back.
Never were they so quiet as on that short ride. January still had so much to say to Nigel, but she couldn’t leave him lingering upon her words. Right now, she had to simply make it through the morning without too many tears.
An agent met them in the parking lot to help with all of January’s baggage. She had to laugh at the irony. She certainly was leaving with a hell of a lot more than she initially brought with her.
The celebrity treatment continued inside at check-in. She knew she just couldn’t say goodbye to Nigel in the crowded lobby, so she called upon her star status to sneak in a few more minutes alone with him.
“He can go to the gate with me?” she asked the agent. “He’s, uh…my security…my bodyguard.”
“Oh, well, of course, Mademoiselle Gallimore. He can escort you to the gate. He’ll just have to pass through security.” One perk of traveling through a small airport was the fact that most planes that flew in and out were private jets. There was a mindset that one had to acquire in dealing with the rich and famous. The agent understood her need to feel safe.
After hustling through the metal detectors, they found a quiet spot near the windows and sat down while the crew prepared the tiny airplane for takeoff. She would transfer in Paris for her flight to Los Angeles.
“You be safe on those wild streets of Hollywood,” Nigel said and folded his hands over hers just as January claimed his lips. That kiss was one she didn’t want to end, and as she dug her fingers into his blond hair, she ignored the boarding announcements.
“You have to go this time, January,” he insisted. “I can’t—and I won’t be the reason—that you gave up your career.”
Promise broken, she allowed her tears to fall. “Call me?” For once, she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Of course, I will,” he vowed. “Will you call me back?”
“Every time…”
“You’ve…you’re just amazing, January. And don’t let anyone tell you anything different. You’re a wonderful woman, and I’m so glad we had this time together.”
The finality of his words left her wondering about their future once again. “So am I, Dommy.” Fighting the tears, she allowed him to help her up and walk her toward the gate. “I’ll call you. And I’ll miss you. And—”
Nigel interrupted her with one last kiss that he hoped she’d feel the entire way home, just as she said she had with his spankings.
“Take good care of Lenny. And tell her I’ll be back soon…”
As she slowly turned and made her way down the jetway, he watched until she disappeared into the cabin with a longing wave, and then he returned to the spot they’d just vacated.
“Oh, January,” he said and pressed his palm against the window as her plane backed out of the gate. “I really hope I see you again.”
PART THREE:
Rejuvenating January
Chapter Twenty-Five
“That’s a wrap…”
January had never been so happy to hear those words in her entire career.
On that hot September afternoon, the Getty Museum gardens provided the perfect backdrop to end a romantic comedy. With this project, they’d missed a couple of deadlines due to a breaking scandal with one of the producers. Somehow, one week faded into the next, and now it was nearly fall.
Nothing ever changed in L.A., including the weather, and January couldn’t wait to escape to a crisper climate. She’d done her time in Hollywood for the year. Now, it was time to take her own life back.
As those two long, thin arms closed around her and elevated her into the air, she giggled uncontrollably. Usually, when she finished a film, she felt a pang of sadness. She’d miss the character, or her co-stars or the crew. By now, she knew everyone contracted by the studio from the production assistants to the top executives. Every single person on that set took pride in his or her job, and they put together what they hoped to be a comedic gem.
This time around, though, she only found relief. January had some big decisions to make, but first, she couldn’t wait to hightail it out of town.
“I’m gonna miss you, girlie,” that familiar voice whispered as the arms strengthened around her. “Here’s to a sequel!”
Kevin Jameson had been one of her favorite partners back in her sketch comedy days, and they both struck it lucky in the film industry around the same time. He was a tall man, nearly six-five, with lanky limbs and a somewhat awkward disposition. However, with his perfectly coiffed brown hair that was never out of place and a pair of beautiful blue eyes, Kevin quickly became the geek of every woman’s dreams. In some way, he reminded her of Nigel.
January and Kevin literally grew up in the business together, and she always leaped at the chance to work with him. Early on, they made a series of successful romantic comedies that had become almost cult films for date nights. Their chemistry, the critics agreed, never fluctuated. In fact, the studio billed them as its own personal comedic duo. Their lasting friendship, so rare in Hollywood, always resonated with audiences from the first press junket to the red carpet.
Kevin had married his college sweetheart a decade ago, and they had two small children. January, of course, always had her string of lovers. But together, at least on the big screen, they always made the perfect pair.
As Kevin returned January to the safety of the ground, she raised her hand for a fist bump. “Good work, old buddy. Maybe I’ll see ya next year.”
Kevin took a step back and cocked his head to the side to look at her. “What about the wrap party?” January never missed a studio shindig, but she just shook her head. “You’re not going?”
“I promised Jackie and the girls I’d do dinner tonight, and then it’s homeward bound first thing in the morning…”
In truth, she’d been in the city for weeks and hadn’t had a spare second to see her girlfriends. She missed them, and she wanted to at least put in a quick appearance before she left town.
“You’re really doing this Kansas thing?” Kevin had remained very close to his parents and siblings over the years, and he often felt sorry for January, even though he never quite understood why she was so adamant about living her own life. “And when am I ever gonna meet Mama Gallimore? I’ve talked to her on the phone more in the last month than I have my own mother…”
That was true. Often during their downtime, January would return to her trailer and give her mother a call. Sometimes, Kevin would pop in, and he
always had to say hello. January’s mother would never admit it, but she thought the celebrity attention was fun.
“Well, come to Kansas…”
“You know, that could be fun—the kids would certainly enjoy it.”
With his career at its heights, Kevin had built his entire life in Los Angeles. His wife even gave up a huge job at a major bank in New York to move across country with him. And they were content. Dana adored being a mom, and she used their wealth and influence to do some groundbreaking charity work.
Everyone seemed to have found their place in life but January.
“Listen, you take care of yourself, lady,” he said and opened his arms again for one more hug. “And get that mess of a love life straightened out. You deserve the best, January. Don’t settle for some French douchebag again.”
Throughout filming, she’d relayed the entire story of her latest argument with Etienne to Kevin. So many times over the years, Kevin doled out the advice on men, and she always appreciated his brutal honesty. Now, though, she had half the western world referring to Etienne as a douchebag. Maybe, she thought in hindsight, she’d been a little harsh, but she also knew that Kevin only wanted her to be deliriously happy.
“I’ll do my best, Kev,” she promised.
“And you know, I’m always around if you need a late-night kick in the ass,” he said with a pat on her back.
“Until next time, my friend.”
“We’ll come see you in France, mon amie!” Forming a makeshift megaphone with his hands, Kevin shouted as she walked away. “Just pick a dude first and let us know which city. And if you go for both, we’ll be discreet!”
For once, January had her own agenda. Usually, she spent hours saying goodbye to every last person on the set, but that afternoon, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts.
With its intricately landscaped gardens, the museum actually afforded her the perfect spot to reflect.
On her own, she wandered off, but not without asking the production assistant to hold the studio car and driver for just a little while. She needed a few minutes of calm, and decompression didn’t always come easily to January. There was always someone waiting for her—usually, someone she had to appease.
The trickle of the stream that ran throughout the grounds tickled at her ears. Led by her nose, she found the path to the central garden, clutching her pendant all the while. Scents and sounds filled the air, but she knew where she had to go.
Twisting and turning at the focal point of the garden, a giant maze beckoned January. Glancing down at her phone, she noticed that she had some messages from both Nigel and Etienne. With the time difference, they were both likely in bed, so there was no point in returning the calls now.
Instead, she decided to test out her navigational skills alongside the hedges. After all, she had some time between now and dinner, and she’d already packed for her trip to Kansas, for the most part. Hell, she’d been readying her suitcases for the last two weeks.
As she sauntered along the pruned pathways, she lost herself in the beauty of nature—something she hadn’t done since her trip to Provence. Aside from the occasional dinner at Kevin’s house with his family, she really hadn’t been in the mood to explore the city. She’d done it all before. There was nothing new to excite her. The daily grind of studying the script from her small rented house and the tight production schedule kept her busy.
In truth, January just didn’t enjoy the whole Hollywood scene. Dressing up to the nines for the red carpet used to thrill her, but after having made so many appearances over the years, she now coveted her privacy. She never thought fashion would bore her, but she was so tired of putting on gowns and sitting for hours to have her make-up and hair perfected. Sometimes, she did her own beauty for events, but she now found that trifling, too.
When her phone began to ring, she sighed in frustration until she noticed Xavier’s name. That was one call she would always take.
“What are you doing, you crazy man?”
“Oh, I just left the office,” he growled. “Fashion Week. And my muse left me to make a movie. Is she finished yet? Will she be coming home to Paris anytime soon? I miss her…”
January missed Xavier, too, but she still had so much to tackle stateside. “I’m working my way back there,” she told him, her words straining with hesitation. Xavier was one person she hated to disappoint. “I…I may miss Fashion Week this time around, though.”
“Oh, Janvier, that makes me so sad,” he said. “But you have to do what you have to do. I just…well, I hope you haven’t given up on France. I don’t know what’s going on in that mind of yours right now, but you had a life here before Etienne. And you can still have one now.”
January had no idea what she planned to do, and right now, she didn’t have an answer for anyone. She had to go home to Kansas, and then she’d figure things out.
“I do miss you, Xav,” she whispered as she moved along, following a couple in front of her who seemed to know where they were going. Maybe she was cheating the maze, but she had to get out at some point. She did have dinner reservations, and she had to be home at a respectable hour since her flight left at seven-thirty in the morning.
“Don’t make me come to Kansas, Janvier, because you know I will,” Xavier teased her. She thought of the time she brought him home with her and chuckled. Xavier certainly lent a certain je ne sais qoui to Gallimore Farm. “And it could get ugly.”
“What if I promise that I’ll see you soon?” she asked.
“I hate it when you are so vague, but alas, I shall try to have some patience with you.”
“I love you, Xav.”
“And I love you, too, most of the time. Just let me know as soon as you arrive tomorrow.”
“Will do…”
As they hung up, they blew each other kisses, and January considered all the lives she could possibly alter with the choices she had to make. For good or bad, though, she had to think of herself this time around. She knew what she wanted. She just had to solidify her plans on how to arrive at that place of happiness.
At the exit to the maze, she stopped in her tracks and smiled. Tiered up the hill, a giant wall of lavender met her with its sweet scent. Overwhelmed by the beauty, she choked on the tears that threatened to fall. She hadn’t cried since she’d left France, and she’d spent most of the flight dabbing tissues at her reddened eyes behind her huge sunglasses.
This colorful reminder of bygone summer days rushed her back to those two weeks in Provence. Over the past few weeks, she tried so desperately to place those memories on the back burner. Recalling those lazy moments in the fields flooded her with sadness. Even when she spoke to Nigel in the days since she’d left him, January focused on the present because the past and the future were both too difficult to process and ponder.
Now, she felt as if time were ticking away once again. She couldn’t hold out on everyone forever. She had to face facts, and she owed everyone in her life some explanations.
Snapping a quick photo, she breathed in that familiar scent. True to her promise, she hadn’t removed that precious pendant from her neck. In fact, her dresser for the film often had to find creative ways to hide it while they were shooting because January refused to leave it in her trailer.
Perhaps, she thought, it was time to stop fighting her emotions. Without further consideration, she hit reply to Nigel’s last text and sent the photo with a quick note, “Thought of you, Dommy.”
By now, she knew Nigel wouldn’t see the photo until morning. He’d been putting in overtime, between giving riding lessons at the stables and playing contractor to the builders who were renovating the remaining buildings. One thing she always noticed was that he always seemed so very cheerful these days. For the most part, he’d found his happiness.
Only one piece was still missing from his life, but Nigel exuded patience with her. He never forced her to face the elephant in the room, but January also knew that his understanding would only extend so far�
�
“Dammit, Dommy,” she mumbled to herself as she trudged along to find her waiting car. “I’m getting there…I promise you—I’m getting there.”
# # #
“You’re sure you’ll be on that plane tomorrow? You know, Charlie doesn’t want to have to drive to the airport for nothing…” her mother warned as January packed the last of her necessities in her carry-on.
“Mom, have I ever promised to come home and then didn’t show up?”
“Yes, January,” Aurora told her. “Yes, you have.”
“There was a blizzard in New York City. I couldn’t get out of my apartment building—let alone to the airport! And I called ahead.”
“You asked, Jan. I just told you the truth.”
“Well, I’m coming, Mom,” January repeated herself. “And you’re stuck with me. Until I decide it’s time to go.”
“So, I guess you’ll be leaving this Saturday?” Aurora might have attempted humor, but her daughter didn’t laugh. “I know how bored you get. But your brothers are excited to see you.”
“If they have the time for me.” In truth, she really didn’t see much of her brothers on her previous trip. They were all so busy running the farm, and she didn’t stay long.
Yes, things had to change.
“So, Jan, you promised me—you’re coming alone, right?” Aurora asked, but her words were more of a warning.
As she popped a three-month supply of her birth control pills in her bag, January shook her head. “Mother, we went through this already. I’m not bringing anyone but myself.”
“Well, I don’t know. You have two of them now, and heaven only knows what’s on your mind. All these Frenchmen…”
Although her mother seemed to think she was double-dipping on dates, January felt very single for the first time in a long while. “Mom, Nigel was born and raised in London. He’s a British citizen who lives in France,” January corrected. “And Etienne is half-French and half-Algerian.”
SMITTEN (Paris Après Minuit) Page 36