“How dare you?” His eyes narrowed and darkened. Fury now filled him. “I have always respected you. How can you actually say—”
“Actually, we don’t need to say another word. We’re done here, Etienne. I have my closure.”
“You have yours, but what about mine?” he challenged.
“Spoken like a true asshole Alpha male,” she muttered. “You know, you can be Dominant and still be a gentleman.”
Shoving her way through, she flung open the door and looked straight to Guillaume. “I’m ready.” One last time, she turned to Etienne, and she smiled. “Have a fabulous life.”
January had expected emotion to overwhelm her after seeing Etienne, but as she walked out of that concert hall, she felt nothing but relief. Having slain the albatross, she now had her entire life ahead of her
Guillaume led her back to her waiting car, but she told him she’d be fine to return home. Really, she needed the time to plan her next move. For the first time since she met Etienne, she felt free, and January knew exactly what she wanted to do.
That night, she thought she’d book the train to Provence. She didn’t need to travel with more than a suitcase. She could do laundry. Maybe she wouldn’t catch the first train—she’d allow herself a little time to sleep in.
How she got there and regardless of the time, she was heading to see Nigel as soon as possible.
When she got out of the car, she held her umbrella over her head and poked in the security code at the wrought iron gate that surrounded her building. Naturally, her wet fingers slipped and hit the wrong code. The driver waited kindly, and he even backed up to give her some headlights to see. The problem, though, wasn’t the lighting; it was the damn rain that now fell in cold pellets and blew about, battering her body. Of course, Etienne had to pick tonight to see her, with the wildest weather this city had seen in months.
Waving the driver off, she closed the gate behind her, but soon, she found herself wishing she’d had him stick around for a minute.
A small courtyard led to her door, and January stalled for a moment when she caught someone in the shadows—a large, almost ghostly presence, crouched in the corner by the lobby door.
Frozen by fear, she just didn’t make a move. She had to gather her wits and figure out what to do next. At least she wore flats, and she could make a run for it.
Something, however, told her to remain still as the man stood up and began his slow approach toward her. Lumbering along, he looked like he was homeless, toting one bag in his hand and hauling a huge backpack meant for mountaineering over his broad shoulders. Anticipation gripped her, but she held her own. With every step he took, she wavered in the darkness.
When she squinted her eyes and blinked the raindrops from her lashes, she knew she didn’t have to run or hide.
“Oh, my God!” Her booming surprise echoed in the cold, rainy night. “Dommy, is that really you?”
Chapter Thirty-One
“Dommy! And Lenny!”
Tossing her umbrella to the side, January ran straight into Nigel’s arms and flung herself against him. As he looked down into her eyes, he couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was just the autumn rain.
Their lips met before another word could be spoken. With the pull of her mouth, she emulated nearly four months of pent-up passion. Waves of emotion flooded her senses. The weather no longer mattered. Clouded by desire and affection, she slipped her fingers into his dripping blond hair and pressed his lips even closer. She needed him. She missed him. She loved him.
“I love you, Nigel…”
“And I love you, January…oh, how much I love you.”
“You…?” She combed her fingers through his thick wet tresses. “You do?”
“So very much.” Tenderness glazed his gaze as they clung to each other with the first strike of thunder. “But I think you’re squashing Lenny…”
Realizing her grip on the carrier, she relented. Luckily, the carrier was waterproof, and the poor little bunny remained dry and warm.
“Momma’s back,” her voice soothed. “And Nigel got you here, safe and sound, to welcome me home.”
“She’s missed you—we’ve both missed you.” While he tried to shield them from the driving rain, nothing did much good. “But dammit, why the bloody hell did you go see him tonight? Dammit, January…”
“To bid him adieu, so that I can be with you!” she bellowed, and she didn’t give a rat’s ass if she awakened her neighbors. Nigel was there. “I had to have final closure on him…because you deserve the best of me—and you deserve all of me. He’s gone now.”
Lightning now danced all around them, taking her back to that summer night when they got caught in the rain. January held no fears. Instinctively, she knew he would always protect her.
“January, your sentiments are so sweet, but dammit, go open that door. It’s bloody freezing!”
Her excitement in seeing him overrode her common sense. “Oh, fuck!”
Scooting along the damp cobblestones, she almost slipped, but somehow Nigel held her steady. He brought one hefty backpack containing a change of clothes and a toothbrush, rabbit food…and a couple of toys for January.
In his mad dash to win her heart, he traveled as quickly as he could without getting a speeding ticket, but he couldn’t avoid a load of luggage. When he arrived at her building, Nigel cursed the traffic out loud, and he was sure that he’d scared poor Lenny in her carrier. With classes in session, the students and faculty at the Sorbonne filled every last parking space near her apartment. Forced to park several blocks away, Nigel hustled Lenny and his backpack through the damn rain just to get to her courtyard.
Strolling toward her apartment, she minded him slyly. “How the hell did you know that I saw that French douchebag tonight?”
“We share a mutual friend,” Nigel reminded her as he shivered.
“Xav?” Her best friend was the only person who knew about the concert. “He told you?”
“Oh, my darling, we’ve been in constant contact since you left.”
“Get the fuck out!” she said as she slipped her key into her lock. However, she paused before the opened the door. “Clearly, we still have much to discuss…but first…I want to warn you…”
“About your Dungeon? You’ve already told me. And honestly, Xavier showed me photos. Open the bloody door!”
“Oh, you’re cold! And my poor Lenny! Here. Get inside. I’ll make a fire. I just had wood delivered yesterday.”
As she flicked on the light, she looked at Nigel, drenched straight through his coat. His tan began to fade, and his pale skin took on an almost purple hue. “Oh, my sweet Dommy, you’re frozen to the bone. Xav should have let you in.”
“He offered, but I didn’t want to intrude upon your personal space, unannounced.”
“You are such a gent,” she said as she wiggled his coat away and hung it up in the foyer closet. Carefully, she lifted the flap to Lenny’s carrier and found her safe beneath a thick blanket. Nigel always thought of everything. “Oh, you want to hop around, don’t you? Let me turn the heat up before I get the fire going.”
Like the gracious hostess, she sprung Lenny from the carrier, and then she turned to attend to Nigel’s immediate needs. “Please tell me you have something else to put on? I don’t think my bustiers will fit you…”
“I do…and I hope my clothes didn’t get soaked through the bag.”
However, January’s fingers were already at work on the buttons on his shirt. He’d worn his riding gear. He must have hopped in his car straight from a lesson. “I have huge bath towels. I’ll wrap you in one, and we’ll spin your jammies in the dryer, and in fifteen minutes, all will be right with the world.”
“January?”
“Hmmm?”
“It already is…”
His kisses were just the perfect remedy for getting caught in a rainy night. Pure passion played at her mouth as he opened wide to plunder her with his tongue.
Need ne
ver struck her with such ferocity, and while she wanted to make love with him, she also wanted him to be comfortable, here in her home. Reluctantly, she pulled back. As far as she was concerned, they had an entire lifetime of kisses to explore. She just wanted to introduce him to her crazy little life and make him feel welcome.
“Soon, Dommy, we shall play…”
A devilish look cloaked his eyes, and January liked it. “Oh, yes, we shall, my darling.”
“Let me show you around, feed you…and get you warm first.”
In the pure euphoria of just seeing her again, Nigel chuckled. “I’m warming already…and Lenny’s had carrots throughout the day…”
“Just behave for a few minutes, okay? I’m trying to be the hostess with the mostest.”
“Oh, you are…”
While Lenny moved on to her favorite spot by the radiator, January first led Nigel to the bathroom where she gave him a pile of fresh towels. Plunking down on the toilet seat, she didn’t bother to leave as he undressed. The rain had seeped through his bag, and his spare outfit was soaked as well, but January had a handle on all.
“Have a shower,” she said and smacked him on the ass. He caught her hand.
“I’ll do the spanking this evening,” he told her.
“Sounds good to me.” Temptation did taunt her, but she decided to leave him alone for a bit. “Your clothes will be dry in a jiffy.”
Everything and nothing mattered at the same time. She was just so happy to see him again.
Twenty minutes later, wrapped in a towel, Nigel found January puttering in the kitchen with Lenny at her feet. The dryer spun to a stop and beeped.
When January turned around, she had a full silver platter in her hands, complete with Aurora’s banana bread and a bottle of her brother’s wine.
“Treats from the farm!”
Despite the crazy, wet day he’d just endured, Nigel grinned. “Your Mum really baked it for me?”
“Aurora Gallimore never backs down on a promise. There are two more loaves in the freezer. And the vino is courtesy of Charlie. I’ve also ordered up some surf ‘n turf from Brasserie Lipp. They should be here soon, so you should probably get some clothes on.”
After hurrying into his flannel pajama bottoms, Nigel swept her into his arms again. She’d forgotten the silky and strong feel of his bare chest and took a moment to luxuriate against his skin. When she moved slightly, she caught sight of his scar, but she didn’t turn away, if only to remind herself of the fragility of life. This time around, January didn’t plan to let him go. She could only hope that she and Nigel were on the same page.
However, he didn’t have to read her mind to assure her. “Oh, how I missed you. And I have I mentioned that I love you?”
Somehow, they made it to the living room, kissing and caressing with every step, and when the doorbell rang, Nigel pulled his t-shirt, still warm from the dryer, over his head.
When at last they’d snuggled up on the couch with the delivery cartons cluttering the coffee table, January raised her glass to Nigel. “To you, my sweet man, for having the courage to return to Paris.”
January didn’t want this benchmark to be missed. Nigel swore that coming back to this city was far too painful. However, he tossed his past behind him when he jumped into his car that morning after Xavier’s phone call. He drove all day and made the trip back to the place that destroyed him—all for the sake of their relationship. January loved him all the more.
“And to you—for making me realize today that I still have a lot to love in this town.”
In truth, she hadn’t invited him to visit right now because she didn’t want him to have to relive that ugly night, but now, she hoped they might create some blissful remembrances—together.
“Tell me if I’m pushing too hard,” she began, “but how is it—being back?”
Nigel had to stop to ponder her question, searching for the words. With patience, January waited until he finally spoke. “I almost feel guilty,” he admitted, but he didn’t turn away from her. “I didn’t think of it until I reached the city limits. But I thought back to that first night when I realized that Charlotte would want me to be happy—and that I might have found that kind of joy again with you. And I just kept driving—I kept going because I had to see you.”
“And I was going to surprise you tomorrow,” January admitted. “I planned on just showing up on your doorstep.”
Nigel raised his glass to January. “To great minds that think alike.” But after a swig, he had to ask, “What about Paris? You’re not giving it up?”
Now, January hesitated. She had so much to tell him, but everything seemed to fill her thoughts at once. Now or never, she had to dive in and take the chance she never took with another man.
“Yeah…well…I don’t know if I plan on staying here—at least on any permanent basis…” She wiped some crumbs of her mother’s bread from his lips. “I was thinking of maybe finding a place in Provence…”
“Really?” Nigel asked. “Wait…for sure?”
“I’ve had so much time to think, Nigel, and I’ll keep this apartment. I can afford to keep it. But these months away from you have been too hard. And I learned my lesson with Etienne. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. It makes you question and doubt. And I can’t stand to be away from you for one more day….”
Flustered, he rubbed the stubble on his chin. Albeit, he had his expectations, but Nigel hadn’t laid the groundwork for any official plans. He thought he might have to persuade her. Xavier certainly hadn’t prepared him for this bit of news.
“But what about Los Angeles? What about your career?” he asked. “I don’t want you to give that up for me.”
Her enigmatic smile baffled him.
“I had my agent talk to the studio execs, and he asked if they could transfer my contract to the sister studio here in France…”
Nigel’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. With all of his experience in big business earlier in his career, he still didn’t quite understand the entertainment industry. “What’s that mean?”
“My French is strong. I can handle a script. I’m going to be making a few movies here, in France…and the studio was more than happy to fulfill my request. It’s actually been in the works since I arrived in L.A. I just couldn’t say anything until the ink dried, and today, I got my answers. Everyone agreed to the swap, and I start my next film in the spring—in Marseille.”
“But January, you’ll never get the money or recognition that you can in Holly—”
Her kiss kept him quiet. “I know that. But quite honestly, the grim reality is that I’m not getting any younger. Hollywood doesn’t need me anymore. And I can still make a decent living doing French films. They don’t age you out of the market here. There are still solid roles for me.”
“But what do you want?”
“What a loaded question…” Falling back to her comfortable corner of the couch, she shook her head. “I want to settle down, divide my time between here and Kansas, and maybe have a couple of kids in the next few years. And should the studio call, I’ll return to Hollywood occasionally, but on my terms.” She had nothing to lose at that point, so she just put everything out there for Nigel to absorb. This time around, she wanted no surprises on either end of the relationship. “Does that agree with you?”
“Oh, January…” He framed her face with his hands. “That sounds perfect to me…”
“Does it really, Nigel?” she questioned him. “I don’t want you to just agree with me for the sake of being affable. I’ve made some huge decisions here, and I do have Plan B outlined if it doesn’t work for you.”
“I want children, and I can’t imagine having them with anyone but you.”
“Would you be pissed that I went on the pill?”
His laughter was her answer. “Oh, no. I didn’t say I wanted to conceive tonight! Oh, bloody hell, no…” Relief and restraint both tainted his manner. Just like January, he needed full disclosure. �
��Fatherhood is always something I planned on. And for a couple of years here, I didn’t think that would happen…until you came along.”
Panic filled her, and her heart began to race. She worried if they’d meet her self-imposed deadlines. Now, more than ever, time ticked on. “Well, we can’t wait forever—I’m an old lady!”
“Alright, stop. Now. No more of that old lady stuff.” Nigel just wouldn’t listen. “Have some dinner with me so that I don’t feel like a pig. Goodness, you bought enough food to feed a small town.”
January threw her arms in the air. “Dammit, Nigel, I need you to be serious, as you usually are. I need to know. I need some fucking answers…” As she stood in the same shoes he’d had to wear while she made him wait, she pulled the throw blanket they shared away from him and covered herself completely. “I don’t fucking need this bullshit again. I need to know that you’re in this for the long-haul. That you want to have ridiculously cute—and hopefully MENSA-smart—babies with me!”
“Listen to me…” Digging under the covers, he found her hands. “While I do hope that our offspring are adorable and intelligent, can we add healthy and well-mannered to the list?”
“Oh, my fucking goodness…” Rising, she stood on the couch and danced on her cushion, and then she dropped down to his lap and sliced her legs through the air in joy. “You want my babies! You want to get my old, rotting eggs to work for us!”
“Careful…” Nigel held her immobile in his arms. “And so much for politeness…”
Twisting in his lap, she maneuvered herself to circle his waist with her legs. “I love you…”
“And I love you…but the food is getting cold! And I’m starving.”
Quickly, she hopped back into her place beside him. Clearly, he had decided to make her wait that evening, which was only fair.
Throughout the last few months, she longed for simple moments just like these. She thought back to the end of her trip, and how she clung to every second. Now, there was no stopwatch, but she appreciated this time together all the more. She no longer had to pick up the phone to tell him something silly or to hear his comforting voice after a bad day.
SMITTEN (Paris Après Minuit) Page 44