by Heather Wood
“Alice will you sit down and let me clean it up? Do you have a first aid kit? Peroxide?”
She wanted to argue with him, but instead stated flatly, “A first aid kit is in the cabinet under the sink.”
“Here, keep applying pressure with this,” he said and moved her hand to the towel. He went off into the bathroom to retrieve the kit. She noticed her phone on the kitchen table and reached for it. She started to dial Ryan’s number when he returned. “Who are you calling?”
“None of your business. You don’t want to be with me, that works for me too because honestly right now, I can’t even stand to look at you. Go be with all those girls dying to sleep with you,” she said sarcastically.
“Alice, don’t. Please, if you want me to beg, I’ll beg. I love you and I am so sorry. I just meant to get you off of me so that I could leave. I never thought you would get hurt like this. I know we’ve only been together a few months, but it has been the best few months of my life.” He knelt down in front of her. She finally met his eyes and saw unshed tears. “If you want to go the hospital, I’ll take you. Just don’t make me leave.”
“I really don’t know what you want me to say. You come into my home, uninvited, and tell me how I’m horrible in bed, still in love with my ex-boyfriend and how you’ve been a chump standing around cleaning up my puke. Then you throw me into a table. For what, Peter? Because I spent some time having coffee with a friend?” she asked with undisguised hatred.
“You’re right-just tell me what I have to do to fix this. I’ll do anything. I’ll die without you, Alice.” He allowed the tears to come. She felt her resolve to kick him out of the apartment and her life waver. She felt like such a sucker, but he really did seem contrite. He did push her back very hard, but she doubted he deliberately knew she would fall into the table. Plus, he had been drinking, so she could see where his sense of control could be affected.
As she talked herself out of leaving him, a nagging voice in her head reminded her of the vile things he had said in her bedroom. How could she explain them away? However, to be honest with herself, she had been jerking him around a bit. Telling him she loved him while still having these feelings for Ryan. He must have picked up on her uncertainty. She sighed, “Can you clean the cut with peroxide and take another look at it?”
He hopped up and went behind her. “It looks like the bleeding has stopped.” He dabbed at the back of her scalp with cotton balls soaked with peroxide. “I don’t think the cut needs stitches, but how are you feeling? Maybe you should get checked out for a concussion?”
“My head is pounding, but the dizziness has actually passed. Maybe I’ll just wait it out then. Probably shouldn’t go back to sleep though just in case I do have a concussion. Maybe you should go home and get some rest-it’s been a long night.” She hoped he noted how she didn’t invite him to sleep here.
“Can I stay with you? Please? I don’t think you should be alone and I can help clean up. You have blood on your clothes and in your hair.”
“Fine. But Peter…”
“Yes?”
“Lay your hands on me again and we’re through.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Hi, Rose, it’s Alice Barrie. Is Ryan working today?” The next morning while Peter still slept, Alice slipped into the bathroom and called Ryan’s office. The office was open a half-day on Saturdays and Ryan usually worked every other weekend.
“No, honey, he isn’t here today. Did you try him on his cell?” she replied.
She felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. “No, I actually think I should come in for an appointment. I hit my head last night on the corner of my coffee table and I wanted to see if I needed stitches.”
“Oh lord, honey! What happened?”
The lie came easier to her. “I got tangled up in Junior’s leash and lost my balance. I was going to head to the emergency room last night, but since the bleeding stopped I thought it was fine. I looked in the mirror this morning at the cut and although it’s not huge I would feel better having one of the doctors look at it.”
“Well, get your butt in here then. You normally see Dr. Roberts, right? I’ll let him know you’re dropping in, I’m sure he won’t mind making room in his schedule.”
“Thanks, Rose. I’m going to throw on some clothes now and head over.” She hung up the phone and tiptoed past Peter who was sleeping on the couch. He was snoring loudly and she figured he’s probably be out for awhile. He stayed up until almost six o’clock in the morning with her until finally passing out. She scribbled a quick note on the table and took off for her doctor’s office.
She arrived at the office building and smiled at the updated décor. Summer and Fourth of July themed decorations were placed all over the waiting room along with sun and flag decals stuck to the windows. Seeing Rose through the window on the phone, Alice gave her a wave to let her know she was here. The waiting room had only one other patient in it, so she figured it wouldn’t be too long of a wait. Ten minute later, Rose opened her office window and motioned her over. “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to say hello. I’m the only one here today answering the phones. You would think these doctors would hire some help for me. Hmph! Don’t they realize I’m an old woman?”
Dr. Daniel Roberts came up behind her. “Rose, you scare off every secretary we try to hire,” he joked. He smiled at Alice, “Hi Alice, come in and we’ll head into the exam room.” She followed him down the hall and was pleased he was working today. The doctor was in his early fifties with balding gray hair and kind brown eyes. Although she liked the rest of the doctors who worked with Ryan, Daniel was her favorite.
“Okay, let’s get you on the scale.” She slipped off her shoes and stepped on. He wrote down her weight and then continued. “So, Rose said you have a cut on your head. Let’s take a look.” He gently removed the cotton ball secured with medical tape that Peter had placed on her head last night. “Well, I don’t think its bad enough to require stitches. We’ll put a skin adhesive on it to seal it. It will flake off naturally, but don’t pick at it in the meantime.” He moved over to the table in the examination room. “Now, let’s just do a few quick tests to rule out a concussion.” After checking her eyes and his reflexes, he gave a satisfied nod. “I’m not seeing any signs of a concussion, so I don’t think a CAT scan is necessary. Have you felt nauseous at all this morning? Difficulty concentrating?”
“No, I have a little bit of a headache, but feel okay otherwise.”
“Good, good.” He made some more notes in his charts. He sat down on the stool and met her eyes. “How is everything else? I did notice you lost some weight since you’re last visit.”
“I’m okay, I guess, hanging in there. I had a hard time there after Ryan and I broke up, but I’m doing better now. I was pretty depressed, so I’ve been seeing a therapist to help get me through some things.”
“That’s good you’re being proactive about your health. I just want you to know if you need to discuss anything, I’ll keep it private. Ryan is my colleague, but you’re my patient. Anything you tell me will remain confidential,” he assured her. This was the reason she loved Daniel for a doctor. She completely trusted him and knew he would honor his promise.
“Thanks, I really appreciate that. And thank you so much for fitting me in today. Head wounds freak me out and I just wanted to make sure it was okay.”
About twenty minutes later, she was on her way out of the office. Daniel had applied the adhesive and gave her instructions on what symptoms to watch out for in the case of concussion. When she arrived back at her apartment, Peter was sitting at her table waiting for her.
“Hi,” she said dropping her purse on the floor. She greeted Junior when he bounded over to her. It was funny that after everything that had happened, Junior would now be calm around Peter.
“I got your note. Is everything okay?” he looked at her wearily. She could see the regret in his eyes.
“Yes, he bonded the cut with a skin adhesive. I can
’t brush or comb the area for a couple of days so my hair is pretty much going to look like a rat’s nest,” she said lightly sitting in the chair across from him. “No concussion though, so at least you didn’t kill me.”
He gave her a horrified look. “Alice, I swear to you that I would never purposely hurt you. What happened was horrible, but can’t you see that it was an accident?”
She shook her head. “Peter, I’m just really confused right now. One minute you’re the nicest and sweetest guy. The next minute, you act with such hatred and seem to want to hurt me.”
“I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry. Maybe I do have an issue with my anger. I know I could be quick tempered at times, but I never imagined I would hurt someone I love so much.”
“I love you too. Peter, if we’re going to be together, it can’t be like this. I just want a happy and normal relationship. Things were going so good,-I’m not sure how we got so off track.” She began to pick at her fingernails.
He reached over and took her hand. “Whatever you want from me, Alice, I’ll do it. I’ve never been so shaken up like I was last night after seeing you hurt. I’ll go to anger management classes if you want. Just promise you won’t leave me.” It was surreal for him to make this plea. The words had been on her lips the night her and Ryan ended things. It was odd to be the one on the receiving end of the begging.
She took pity on him. She put her hand on top of his. “We’ll be okay, Peter. Let’s just try to have fun and try not to be so intense about everything. I know I haven’t been exactly a walk in the park for our whole relationship either, so I’ll try not to hold one bad night against you.”
“Thank you. I won’t mess things up with you,” he came over and pulled her into a hug. She hoped he could keep that promise.
***
“You look beautiful,” Peter came up behind her and breathed into her hair. It was the next night and they were getting ready to meet his colleagues and their significant others for dinner. She wore a simple black knee-length dress with understated diamond jewelry. The jewelry was mostly gifts from Ryan and it was her inner protest against Peter to wear them. She had forgiven him outwardly, but still held onto some resentment. Her hair was styled in a bun at the base of her neck to hide her cut. It had taken her forever to manipulate her hair in order to avoid using a brush on the area.
A part of her had wanted to beg off of the whole thing. She was still freaked out about the other night and not to mention she had work the next morning. She had rallied after taking her anti-anxiety medication for the first time that morning. It didn’t seem to be having any major side effects and she definitely felt a stronger sense of calm. She was glad to be done with the exhaustion and moodiness she had experienced on the anti-depressants.
“Thanks,” she said turning to him and giving him a peck on the lips. He let his eyes linger over her body. Feeling disconcerted under his intense gaze, she began, “So, who am I meeting tonight?”
“Bob and Jim along with their wives. Marc, Stacey and Julia are coming alone. They’re all great and I know you’re really going to like them. I went to drinks with them a few times and we usually all have a fun time,” he assured her.
“It’s nice to meet some of your friends. I feel like we’ve kind of lived in our own little bubble.”
“You could come with me next time I head to New Jersey to meet my family if you want.” The offer sounded forced and Alice turned to him with an arched eyebrow. “It’s not that I don’t want you to meet them, but my relationship with my family is…complicated. I’m the only and youngest son who has three older and very jealous sisters. My parents had me later in life, which made my sisters think I got everything handed to me while they were forced to work for everything. I’m the only one they put through college. It’s always plenty of fights with them when I come home because they still feel as if my parents act like I can do no wrong in their eyes,” he explained.
“Wouldn’t know too much about sibling rivalry-I’m an only child. My mom raised me pretty much by herself. My dad died in a car accident when I was in kindergarten and she didn’t remarry until I was in high school,” she stated.
“I’ve been meaning to ask about your dad, but wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”
“It’s okay-I don’t really remember him that well. My stepfather is a pretty great guy and he makes my mom happy,” she said.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” he smiled. She nodded, but wasn’t sure how to respond. She hoped things were going to work out, but his unpredictability made it hard to think about their future together.
The restaurant was an elegant Italian eatery on the edge of town. The food was rumored to be amazing although Alice had never visited the restaurant. Once they arrived, Peter let her know they would be meeting the others at the bar.
The bar was pretty empty since it was a Sunday evening, so it wasn’t hard to spot Peter’s co-workers. It also didn’t take long for her to figure out the person he alluded to wanting to sleep with him. A petite brunette with dark eyes turned her head with interest upon their arrival. After drinking in Peter, her eyes turned with disdain towards Alice. She gave her a quick once over and a smug smile came upon her face. Quickly, she turned away after catching Alice’s glare. Peter pulled her towards his friends and the knot in her stomach worsened. “Hey everyone,” he said with a smile. “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Alice.” The wives and men were very attentive to her and asked her polite questions about where she lived and who she worked for. Upon introduction, the brunette, Julia, had only given her a curt nod while Stacey, her obvious crony, barked out a hello and turned back to converse with Julia.
After ordering a round of drinks, his co-worker Marc came up to the couple. “Hi Alice, do you mind if I steal Peter for a couple of minutes? Just some work stuff I got to ask him about.”
“Steal away,” she said. She took a sip of her ginger ale and really desired a drink. However, a headache and her last drunken episode resolved her to stick to soda tonight. Inwardly she groaned when she saw Julia, Stacey and one of Peter’s friends wives approach her. “Hello,” she said brightly addressing the third woman. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t quite catch your name.”
“It’s Lisa. We just saw you stand over here and figured we’d chat. God knows how long the boys will be talking shop,” she gestured to Marc, Peter and Bob. All three men looked animated about whatever they were talking about. Peter noticed her watching him and shot her a shy smile. She smiled back before turning to the three women.
“Thanks. I’ve really been looking forward to meeting everyone.”
An awkward silence followed. Lisa gave her an inquisitive look. “So, how long have you and Peter been dating?”
Alice had to think back to when she first met him. “I guess it’s been almost four months since we started dating.”
“It was very exciting when he first came to our office.” Julia spoke to her directly for the first time. She tried to ignore the condescending tone and allowed her to continue. “We don’t get a lot of attractive single men that join the firm. We consider Peter to be quite the catch.”
“So I heard,” Alice replied dryly.
“I talk to Peter all the time and the funny thing is that he never mentioned he had a girlfriend until last week when Bob arranged the dinner. Honestly, I thought he was sort of a player, you know the permanent bachelor type,” Julia continued on as if Alice hadn’t even spoken.
“Guess you were wrong,” she replied trying to hide the annoyance from her voice. She knew Julia was trying to bait her and she refused to let her know she was bothering her.
“I guess so. You are a lot different than the usual type of girls he dates,” Julia said. Both Stacey and Lisa shifted uncomfortably and looked as if they’d rather be anywhere, but there.
Alice couldn’t mask her surprise. When she first met Peter he had said he’d just moved to the area. She assumed that she was the first girl he had dated. “Oh?”
> “Stacey, what was the name of that secretary Peter fooled around with when he first started?” Julia turned to her crony. Lisa gave her an apologetic look and mouthed sorry. Alice shrugged.
“Nicole I think. She temped for about two months and I think every unattached guy in the office slept with her. She kept throwing herself at Peter and he acted completely repulsed by her. I didn’t think she had a shot in hell, but then I heard they had sex in the back of his car one night after work,” Stacey stage whispered. Wonderful pre-dinner conversation, Alice thought bitterly.
“Someone’s ears must be ringing; it looks like Peter is waving me over. Let me go see what he wants,” Julia said lightly and took off in the direction of the men. Alice watched out of the corner of her eye as Peter talked with Julia and ever so often glanced towards her. Stacey left to retrieve a drink from the bar.
Lisa looked at her sincerely. “Some people never leave high school, huh?”
Alice laughed. “I guess not. I don’t know why she thinks I would care who he slept with.”
Lisa pulled her close and whispered. “Julia has been making a spectacle of herself over Peter. Bob was thinking about giving her a warning if she didn’t knock it off. It didn’t sound to me that Peter returns the sentiment.” Alice gave her a half smile and noticed Peter was making his way towards her.
He nodded to Lisa and gave Alice a kiss on the cheek. “No more shop talk, I promise.”
“Bob is calling us, so I think our table must be ready.” Alice followed Peter wordlessly into the dining room and prayed they weren’t seated near Julia. She had enough on her plate to have to worry about girl games. Arriving at the table, she was relieved to see Bob and Lisa seated next to them. When Stacey and Julia sat across from them, she knew she’d be getting death stares all through dinner.
“You okay?” Peter peered at her closely as the waiter handed them their menus.
“I’m fine,” she said softly and then loud enough that she hoped Julia could hear. “Everyone is so nice, you work with a great group of people.” Alice bit her lip as she noticed Julia whisper something to Stacey and them both snicker.