A Mended Man (The Men of Halfway House Book 4)

by Jaime Reese

  Jessie walked over to him. "I can actually see the wheels viciously turning in your head. I think smoke's going to start coming out of your ears if you're not careful."

  "I thought you had a date," he said, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice. He couldn't protest, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

  Jessie smiled and held up the pizza box between them. "I do. So I suggest you get your ass in the shower and get ready. Because dinner's here and I've got a movie already picked out."

  Aidan blinked.

  Jessie set the pizza box on the breakfast bar countertop. He reached up, cupping Aidan's face and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "You, my wonderfully frustrating, incredibly hot man, are very stubborn. Just in case you haven't figured it out, the date is with you. The pizza has extra cheese and bacon…exactly the way you like it. And the movie is an action flick with tons of shit blowing up to get you excited."

  "What about what you want?"

  A slow smile spread across Jessie's features. "I want you. So get your ass in the shower already. You're cutting into our date time."

  Aidan grabbed Jessie's face and smashed their mouths together for a short but heated kiss, hoping to convey a mix of relief and want. He stepped away and headed to his room, unbuttoning his shirt along the way.

  "Aidan?"

  He poked his head back out into the hallway, waiting for Jessie to continue.

  "Can you skip the shave? I like the stubble."

  Aidan nodded in acknowledgment and raced to the shower, leaving a trail of clothes in his wake.

  * * * *

  Jessie reached for the remote and switched off the movie as the final credits rolled. Aidan had eased into the night and had been quiet over dinner and for the better part of the movie. But he couldn't seem to take his eyes off Jessie, either with a direct stare or sneaking in a sideways glance.

  Jessie made a mental note: wear more suits at home.

  He straightened his rolled up sleeves and stretched his arm across the back of the couch, shifting to face Aidan. "I've been meaning to ask you something." Jessie obviously needed to take the lead and start some conversation or spend the next few weeks craving another kiss like that night on the couch.

  "Yeah?"

  "Do you mind if I watch some old home videos of yours?"

  "No, I don't mind."

  "Thanks." Jessie worried his lip, trying to find the best way to steer the topic into something personal. "Tell me something about yourself."

  Aidan leaned back against the opposite side, resting his elbow on the back of the couch with his head in his hand. "I have hazel eyes."

  Jessie didn't miss the slight quirk of Aidan's lips as he spoke. "Tell me something most people don't know."

  Aidan looked upward as if trying to pluck a random fact. "I'm a polyglot. I can understand a dozen languages and I'm fluent in seven of them."

  Jessie pursed his lips and cocked his head. "Interesting. Does that include sarcasm?"

  "No. Make that eight." A playfulness passed over Aidan's features as he spoke.

  "Smartass. I meant something personal," Jessie said, reaching for Aidan's hand. "I'm being serious."

  "I thought it was one detail a week?"

  Loopholes. Always looking for a damn loophole. He squeezed their clasped hands. "Aidan?"

  Aidan quieted.

  "You know I don't like to push," Jessie said, rubbing his thumb along Aidan's hand.

  "You actually don't seem to have a problem being Mr. Bossy or taking the lead."

  Jessie bit his lip. And you don't seem to mind. "I'll tease you, but I won't ever push you about the really personal stuff."

  Aidan looked away then down at their joined hands, turning his body on the couch to face Jessie. "So, what do you want to know?"

  "Anything you want to tell me."

  "That doesn't help." Aidan chewed his lip then looked up. "Give me a starting point I can work with."

  "Okay." Jessie scooted over on the couch, inching a little closer to Aidan, stopping when their knees bumped together. "Tell me about your tattoo. When did you get it?"

  "After my last mission."

  Jessie nodded. Give or take six years ago from what he knew. "Tell me why you got an angel. Considering you gave me the glass figurine, I know angels are important to you."

  "My mom believed in angels. She believed people who died young had a special role as angels. More powerful in that life and in that role than this world could offer." Aidan quieted, as if his mind had wandered to some distant thought. "She believed they were guardians who protected and watched over us, to keep us safe and give us strength. I think that was her way of rationalizing why young people died."

  Jessie touched Aidan's arm, hoping to transport him back to the here and now, not really sure if Aidan's mind had wandered to a dark place.

  "Sorry. I zoned out."

  "Don't apologize. Is the angel supposed to be your mom?"

  Aidan shook his head. "I…had this done before my parents died. This is my guardian angel. I imagine she's tough, snarky, and wouldn't put up with any of my shit."

  "So she's a female version of you."

  "I hope I'm a fraction of what she is in my mind." He quieted again and his brows knit together. He reached out and ghosted his fingers over Jessie's arm as if needing the contact. "After I left the service, I was numb. I needed to disconnect from things that had happened but…I think I got too good at it. I…couldn't feel anything and didn't really want to. I questioned everything. I should have been thankful I was out of there and back home. But…I felt nothing. And that freaked me out a bit. That's when I did this."

  "I bet it hurt." Jessie reached out and ran his fingers through Aidan's hair, knowing the rhythmic stroking usually eased him. It was blatantly obvious there was so much Aidan wasn't saying.

  "Hurt like hell," Aidan said with a chuckle. "Definitely wasn't numb during those endless hours while I was getting it done. I think the artist was a bit of a sadist though. He'd work on it full days at a time."

  Jessie softly smiled, reaching over and pulling up the edge of Aidan's shirt. "This looks different than what I'm used to seeing."

  Aidan yanked the shirt up and over his head, stretching his torso, offering Jessie a better view. "Yeah. It's a black and gray style. It's mainly ink and shadows rather than harsh lines. I like it because it looks different, like a painting or pencil sketch…if that makes sense."

  "And the message, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'…I thought it was to remind you of your strength." Jessie grazed his fingertips along the edge of the inked scroll at the side of Aidan's torso. "I thought that was why you had done this. To see the message staring back at you in your reflection. To never give up."

  "It's a phrase my mom said to me once when I was a kid. I didn't understand what she meant at the time, but I always remembered it and later realized its meaning." Aidan quieted again. "Anyways, I figured it would be something my angel would yell at me if she were at my side."

  "How many people have seen it?"

  "Counting you and the nurse's sneak peek while you were in the hospital?"

  Jessie nodded.

  "Four."

  Aidan was all about the unspoken words and finding the clever ins and outs of things. "Are you counting you and the artist in that number?"

  The edges of Aidan's mouth curled up into a lopsided grin. "Yes."

  Emotions swelled in Jessie's chest. And he wasn't going to lie to himself, he was a bit past pissed the nurse was on the short list of people who had gotten a peek at Aidan's ink.

  "I didn't do this to show it off. I'm not a peacock."

  Jessie chuckled, remembering a prior conversation. "I've been told we're turtles."

  "I bet I know who came up with that little nugget of wisdom," Aidan said with a hint of a grumble and a whole lot of sneer.

  Jessie quietly laughed, leaning in, nuzzling the side of Aidan's neck, tracing his fingers along the ink on Aidan's skin.r />
  Aidan sighed, reaching up and placing his hand on Jessie's back. "No one's…ever touched me like that."

  Jessie kissed the corded muscle of Aidan's neck and up farther, biting the stubble of Aidan's jaw when the words finally registered in his lust-filled mind. He inched back slowly, watching every flicker of emotion pass over Aidan's face. "Ever?"

  "I'm not a virgin. Far from it." Aidan's brow lowered and his jaw muscles twitched, clearly frustrated, maybe upset, but most definitely stuck somewhere in his should-I-or-shouldn't-I-talk headspace.

  That small, pulsating vein at his temple threatened to burst with his growing frustration.

  "I think we're good on the talking thing for one night," Jessie said, hoping to avoid his retreat.

  Relief washed over Aidan's features. He nodded and exhaled deeply, pulling Jessie closer, flush against his still bare torso.

  "Wait a second." Jessie pushed off Aidan and out of his hold, biting his lip to hide a smile at Aidan's frown. He unbuttoned his dress shirt and pitched it to the side chair, lying back down and sighing with the skin-on-skin contact. "That's better."

  Strong arms caged him in an embrace and a stubbled jaw brushed against the side of his hair. "Yeah."

  He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle caress of fingers against his skin and the warmth of the embrace as sleep slowly took over.

  Jessie couldn't think straight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping to calm the vibrating sexual tension pulsating through his body. The nearness of sitting with Aidan on the couch for another lazy weeknight, watching television in their usual routine, drove him to shake with the need for intimacy. He wanted Aidan's mouth on him again. And he didn't care where exactly said mouth landed. Those soft yet hard lips, the demanding yet gentle press of them, asking while commanding an invitation to explore.

  His frustration had reached epic levels.

  He wanted a hell of a lot more than a quickie kiss he'd manage to steal when Aidan had his guard down. But, for some reason, Aidan always pulled away and the iron wall came crashing down before they could take it further.

  He wanted his Aidan, the one hidden behind that iron barrier, the one who'd turn in his sleep and wrap his arm around Jessie, pulling him snugly against his sleeping body.

  The small things Aidan did meant the most, when he didn't over-think or worry about how the world interpreted his actions. He acted as if he didn't care, but in truth, he probably cared more than most.

  Jessie looked over to the frustratingly beautiful man at his side, sitting with arms crossed on the couch and his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. A smile tugged at the corner of Jessie's mouth at the stark dichotomy between the usually tense Aidan Calloway and this version who seemed to capture a picture-perfect definition of peacefulness with his closed eyes, resting his head against the top backrest of the couch.

  "Aidan?"

  "Mmm."

  "I'm going to kiss you," he announced, not wanting to incorporate the element of surprise into the mix and risk an instinctive reaction. The moment Aidan's eyes opened, Jessie swung his leg over him, straddling him. He leaned over Aidan, taking advantage of the dip in the couch and his position.

  Aidan uncrossed his arms, moving his hands to grab Jessie's waist in a tight grip.

  Jessie pressed his body—not so subtly—against Aidan, biting his lip to hold back a moan when his body met with equal hardness. Aidan quickly looked away, swallowing heavily, as if embarrassed by his noticeable eagerness. He kept his vision pegged on some spot on the wall to the right while his Adam's apple bobbed.

  "Please…don't turn away." Jessie reached out with one hand and firmly gripped Aidan's jaw, tilting Aidan's head back as he leaned in, barely an inch between them. "I know you can feel how much I want you."

  Aidan slowly closed his eyes, his lips parting with a deep intake of breath as Jessie slowly pressed their bodies together in an upsweep motion. Something settled between them, as if nothing else existed, just the softness and hardness of their bodies, pushing and pulling against each other, and the sounds of their breaths huffing in the air. Aidan's hands twisted the waistline of Jessie's sleep pants, tightening his grip and tugging him closer.

  His Teasing Aidan had snark. Stubborn Detective Calloway had determination. Overprotective Guardian Aidan had a possessive yet caring side.

  But Aroused Aidan was a completely different beast.

  In control but…not—as if an untamed wildness lay just beneath the surface.

  Aidan's lips parted and his head lolled to the side, seemingly in a trance, appearing to let his guard down and give in to the moment.

  Jessie's heart pounded fiercely as he pushed into Aidan, reveling in the firm body pressing against him. Aidan bit his lower lip and arched into Jessie as a pained moan escaped him. He slowly opened his eyes, his gaze heavy-lidded. Jessie reached out with his other hand, his fingers trembling as he brushed the side of Aidan's hair in a rhythmic stroke. He pressed their foreheads together, just as spellbound and mesmerized by their closeness as Aidan. Heat flooded his body and tightened his chest. He closed his eyes in a haze of want and need, enjoying the hard prickling of the stubble against his fingers and the crackle of desire and want in the air, sparking between them.

  He finally pressed his lips to Aidan's, teasing him with a tentative swipe of his tongue. A moan escaped when strong hands tugged him closer and a tongue teased his own in a seductive dance, tangling with his, inviting him to explore. His pulse sped with each tender swipe and each demanding pull. He separated from the kiss with a gasp, every nerve ending in his body acutely aware of Aidan's heat and the warm mouth gently biting his chin.

  Aidan's fingers threaded through his hair at the nape of his neck, gripping tightly, holding him in place as he trailed kisses down Jessie's throat. A possessive groan escaped Aidan seconds before he swiped his tongue along the length of Jessie's neck.

  Jessie lazily opened his eyes, drugged with the need coursing through his body. He forcefully held Aidan's face to still him, staring at the confusion mixed with want in those hazel eyes. He slammed his mouth against Aidan's in a fierce kiss, pouring every ounce of desire, want, and love into it, hoping his telepathic message was received loud and clear.

  Strong fingers traveled up his spine, cupping the back of his neck, holding him in place while Aidan devoured his mouth with unbridled need. A moan echoed in the room. Teeth clashed and fingers dug into scalp and skin. Jessie tore himself from the kiss, gasping each breath, swallowing heavily, hoping to tame the blazing fire coursing through his veins and dampen the need vibrating through his body.

  Aidan desperately wrapped his arms around Jessie and pulled him close, resting his head against Jessie's chest, his body heaving with each deep, rapid breath. The gesture surprisingly vulnerable and halting any further exploration.

  The cloud of heat and need evaporated, leaving behind a fog of confusion.

  An urgency to comfort Aidan overtook every ounce of his body. Jessie wrapped his arms protectively around Aidan's shoulders and pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head, then another. "What's wrong?"

  Aidan silently tightened his arms around Jessie, holding him close in a strong, yet tender embrace.

  Jessie stroked Aidan's hair, mixing in peppered kisses, overwhelmed by the need to soothe the sudden tension and quiver in the otherwise strong arms encasing him. They held each other for some time until the fire settled and only tenderness remained, each caressing the other with tentative strokes of their fingertips. Jessie finally pulled away and repositioned himself on the couch, slowly guiding Aidan to spoon him as he did each night they slept.

  He softly smiled when Aidan immediately wrapped his arm around his waist, tugging him close. He held Aidan's hand in his and entwined their fingers, pulling their joined hands up to his lips and kissing Aidan's fingertips. He nestled into the embrace, reveling in the warm puffs of air breezing by his ear, comforting him in a cocoon of safety he could only find in Aidan's arms. />
  * * * *

  Aidan leaned against the window frame and clenched his jaw, hearing the doctor's scribble of the pen tip against her notebook. Sometimes, she'd sit at her desk, other times—like today—she sat in the side chair doing some form of paperwork to pass the time. Maybe he'd need a padded room after this appointment. He hated the fucking silence. It gave him too much damn time to think. The kiss still lingered in his mind, and those addictive snuggling embraces, and yet, he didn't know what to do next. He wanted so much. "I don't know why I keep coming here," he said in an almost growl.

  The pen stopped.

  He turned sharply and shoved his hands into his pockets. "And before you ask me why do I think I come here, I believe I just answered that question." He bit down hard enough that his back molars started to hurt. "I. Don't. Know."

  The doctor set the folder and pen on the side table and clasped her hands in her lap. "You do know why you're here. Because deep down inside, you know that whatever all this is, it's eating away at you and costing you your life. And you're scared of what that's doing to you because it's a loss of control. And you, my dear, love to be in control."

  Aidan responded with a raised eyebrow.

  "I can tell you're angry and frustrated and I'm guessing that's because you're at a stalemate in life and want to move forward but don't know how. It's obvious we're going to get to the root of the problem on your terms. So you need to start talking when you're ready. I'm not going to sit here, lecture you, or turn your answers into questions and ask you how you're feeling. I'm here to listen and arm you with the tools to help you cope with what's happened that's put you in this headspace and help you manage it rather than let it manage you so you can choose the path to the future you want, free of encumbrances." She waited and stared, her focus never flinching away from his. "I do have one question for you. And it's the important one."

  Aidan continued to stare, waiting for her to resume her soapbox speech.