The Duchess Remembers

by Monroe, Jennifer

  “I’m sorry for your pain,” Hannah said in a low voice as the brush moved through Lucy’s hair. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

  “You are a kind and gentle person,” Lucy said in dulcet tones. “Unlike my husband.”

  When Hannah laid down the brush, Lucy stood and looked at her reflection. The white muslin was light and airy, perfect for the warm day ahead, and she found the tiny embroidered blue flowers to be cheery—at least her dress would be cheery, even if she was not.

  Then Lucy glanced at Hannah. They would need to replace her current garment, a simple black dress with a white apron all the maids used, with something more suitable for someone of her position. “We must find you something to wear,” Lucy said, taking Hannah by the hand and leading her to the wardrobe.

  Hannah turned a very deep red and attempted to pull away, but Lucy would have none of it. As Lucy looked through her dresses, Hannah watched with wide eyes. “May I ask a question?”

  “Of course,” Lucy replied. “We are friends, so speak freely.”

  “Well, as your companion, what do I do? I have never held such a high position and have never known anyone who has been a companion before…well, not in this sense, that is. I’ve had companions—that is, friends—before, but not one that is paid like this.” Her gaze dropped to the floor and her voice lowered significantly. “What if I embarrass myself, or even worse, you?”

  Lucy smiled as she placed a hand on Hannah’s arm. “You will not embarrass me. Your main concern is to keep my company. We will do all our activities together, talk, laugh…the same things friends do. Only you will be paid so you do not have to concern yourself with money or chores. It frees up your time so you are able to be by my side whenever I need someone. Now, as for my husband’s definition of a companion, you will also be a chaperon, which means you will be with the Duke and me during our outings so we are not seen together alone in public.”

  Hannah’s coloring deepened. “But you are married,” Hannah protested.

  Lucy laughed. “Well, we are married by law, yes. However, I do not remember our marriage, and the Duke has taken it upon himself to reenact our courtship in an attempt to help me regain my missing year and a half worth of memories.” She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “But I believe I was tricked into marrying him and he is afraid I will find out the truth. Granted I will still be married to him, but I will know the truth.”

  “I see,” Hannah replied with clear skepticism.

  Lucy chose a pink dress with white ribbon at the waist and on the sleeves. It was a simple day dress that Lucy had yet to wear, or at least had remembered wearing, and it would be a good color for the fair woman before her. “Here we are,” she said, holding the dress against Hannah’s body. “I think this should be acceptable.”

  Hannah’s eyes widened significantly. “I-I can’t accept something so beautiful,” she said breathily as she took a step back as if the dress had teeth and would attack her at any minute.

  “Oh, now, really,” Lucy sighed. “How are you to accompany me in a maid’s uniform? You must wear something much more fitting your station, and at the moment this is what we have. So, you will put it on and be happy about it.”

  Lucy’s stern gaze must have been enough to convince Hannah to take the dress, for she did so immediately and without further argument. The dress fit her perfectly and did indeed complement her fair complexion.

  A clock chimed somewhere in the house, but Lucy ignored it as she assessed Hannah’s appearance. She handed the woman a pin with a pink butterfly and asked her to put it in her hair. Although Hannah took it, it was with great reluctance and she placed it in her hair with such care, one would have thought it was made of glass rather than porcelain.

  “It is time,” Lucy said simply, and she led the way to the dining hall. She knew Andrew would more than likely be seething, seeing that they were ten minutes late by the time they arrived, but Lucy cared not. Let the man seethe.

  “You are late,” Andrew grumbled as he rose from his chair.

  Lucy moved forward quickly in an attempt to reach her chair before he could. However, he must have anticipated her intentions, for he moved just a bit faster than she did, pulling the chair out for her.

  “Very kind of you,” she said as she attempted to hide her disdain. Then she glanced around the room. “Where is Mason? I assumed he would seat me.”

  “I sent him back to the kitchen to ask the cook to rewarm the food since you were late,” he said flatly.

  Lucy clenched her fist, but she saw the nervous expression on Hannah’s face as the woman stood clearly unsure as to what to do next. “I am sorry, Hannah,” she said pointedly for Andrew’s benefit. “Although my husband is a Duke, he is not very observant of a lady who is waiting to be seated.”

  Andrew gave a deep sigh and pushed his chair back. Then he rose once again and pulled out a chair for Hannah. The poor woman looked as if she would be ill, and though Lucy felt sorry for putting her in this position, she knew Hannah would understand when she explained later. Granted, Lucy should not have to explain, but she was not a mean-spirited person—at least not toward her new companion.

  As Andrew pushed Hannah’s chair back in, Lucy covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. It was good to see a man of Andrew’s station being forced to perform such menial tasks.

  Lucy felt a sting of regret for her pungent thoughts and wondered where the animosity she felt for this man originated. Then she remembered his brash behavior at different events in the past, his stolen kisses that could have left her humiliated if anyone learned of them, and finally his rudeness during their outing just yesterday, and her regret disappeared. It was only what he deserved.

  A footman brought out a large tray and set it on the side table. On the tray were three bowls, which he placed in front of each person at the table, beginning with the Duke. The soup was a rich pea soup and smelled delicious. Lucy had not realized how famished she was. Who would have thought that plotting could make her so ravenous?

  “So, my dear husband, how is business coming along?” Lucy asked as if his response was the only thing in the world that mattered to her.

  “It is going quite well,” Andrew replied. “And by the way, since we are on the subject, I will be traveling to a Mr. Skinner’s home near Crookhorn in a fortnight, and his wife has insisted you visit, as well. Therefore, I would like it if you would wear your finest gown.”

  “That sounds exciting,” Lucy said with genuine interest. “A fortnight is plenty of time for Hannah and me to have appropriate gowns ordered.” She turned to Hannah. “We will also have you fitted for several more dresses and you will also need new slippers.”

  Andrew’s spoon clinked heavily in his bowl. “Hannah will accompany us?” he asked incredulously. “Surely you must understand that we are married and it will appear quite odd bringing your companion with you on a visit to a peer.”

  “But of course, she will accompany us,” Lucy replied, unruffled by Andrew’s apparent shock and anger. “How could I possibly travel without a chaperon? You were quite right in having her assume the position, a brilliant idea indeed.” She sipped at her soup in an attempt to ignore Andrew’s narrowing eyes. Then she recognized the look of defeat and joy raged through her. Though he had won the battle the previous night, tonight she had emerged the victor.

  ***

  “Very well, then,” Andrew said with clear frustration in his voice. “I believe I will retire to the study for the evening and then go to bed after. Enjoy your stroll around the gardens.” He stood and then walked out of the drawing room, clearly sulking. They had moved to the drawing room for coffee after finishing dinner, but Lucy had said very little to him except to respond to his questions with as few words as possible. The majority of the time, Lucy talked with Hannah, who she realized was a lovely woman. Although Hannah lacked a formal education, she clearly had an inquisitive mind.

  “You did marvelously tonight,” Lucy said to Hannah
with a wide smile. “Now, let us drink in celebration.” Lucy rose and walked over to the cart that held several bottles of a variety of liquors. She found the one she wanted, a bottle of Andrew’s favorite brandy, and carried the entire bottle back to where Hannah stood waiting.

  Hannah, however, did not appear as comfortable with Lucy’s choice. “Won’t His Grace be angry you’ve taken his favorite drink?” she asked.

  Lucy laughed. “Of course not,” she replied. “I am his wife, and he once told me that this is my home as much as it is his. Therefore, I have no need to ask his permission to do anything.” She reflected on that moment and on those words. At the time, those words sounded kind; however, Lucy had come to realize that the amicability he had shown her was as false as any play she had attended. The last two days had proven it was all a charade on his part, and she refused to be duped in such a manner. It felt good to be herself once again rather than the agreeable wife she had pretended to be since she had awoken from her long sleep. Gone was the devoted and naive woman, replaced once again by the curious and inquisitive girl she remembered herself to be; the person who was not afraid to take risks and try new things.

  “Come,” Lucy said, grabbing two glasses and the bottle and then leading Hannah onto the veranda and out into the gardens. The sun had lowered to the horizon, creating long shadows around them, but Lucy cared not. In her mind, it was still daylight, and even if the sun had set and the gardens were flooded in darkness, she would still enjoy coming outside and sneaking a bit of brandy. It was not that she enjoyed how the brandy made her feel; she cared little for the drunkenness it caused and even less for how she felt the day after. It was the thrill of having outsmarted those who chose to hold her under their thumb, for she refused to be owned by anyone, even a Duke.

  They walked to the far end of the garden to a bench beside the iron gate that led to the hill Lucy enjoyed visiting. Lucy immediately removed the stopper on the bottle of brandy and poured a measure into each glass. It was nice to be out of the prying eyes of her husband—the thought of her being married still made her shiver—and to have someone with whom she could talk. How she missed Charlotte, who knew Lucy almost as well as she knew herself. However, now Lucy had Hannah, and she knew they would become great friends.

  “So, Hannah,” Lucy said as she handed the woman one of the glasses, “are you enjoying your new position as a companion?”

  Hannah had a dreamy look in her eyes. “I’m enjoying it quite a lot so far,” she replied. “It was nice to sit with you and His Grace at your table. I never thought someone like me would be doing something so fancy.”

  Lucy gave her an amused smile. “Oh? And why is that?”

  “Well, I’m just me, a nobody, someone who only works in a house that is as nice as this one. You’re a Duchess and His Grace is a Duke.” She shrugged. “It’s not normal for someone like me to be invited to eat with the likes of people like you.”

  Hearing Hannah speak in such an honest manner was refreshing. Her words were genuine and heartfelt, and Lucy found herself liking the woman even more.

  Neither woman had taking even a sip of her brandy, and Lucy stared down at the glass before finally lifting it to her lips. The liquor burned her throat in a not unpleasant manner and she reveled in the feeling of it moving down her chest and into her stomach. It reminded her of what it was like to be alive.

  Hannah, however, seemed reluctant to drink.

  “Come now, Hannah,” Lucy insisted, “there is nothing wrong with a woman having a few sips. Give it a try; I think you might enjoy it.”

  Hannah gave her one more skeptical look before taking a large gulp from her glass. Tears filled her eyes as she began to choke. Lucy patted her back forcefully, wishing she had warned her not to take too large of a drink.

  “Well, what do you think?” Lucy asked once Hannah’s spasms resided.

  “I have to admit, I’d prefer punch myself,” the woman replied in a whisper.

  This made Lucy laugh, a wonderful feeling after several weeks of low spirits. “My friend Charlotte and I oftentimes went to parties and took a bottle of brandy. Then we sneaked it outside where we would find a hiding place and drink—straight from the bottle!”

  “No!” Hannah gasped. “A fine lady such as yourself drinking from the bottle? I can’t image such a thing.” She then scrunched her brow. “It all sounds very exciting, but why didn’t you stay at the parties? They seem to be lovely affairs.”

  Lucy snorted as she poured herself another measure of brandy. “They are too often a bore,” she replied. “Men fight over women when they are not discussing business dealings together. Then, when they are quite drunk, they select some poor woman and force a kiss upon her lips.”

  “How barbaric!” Hannah exclaimed. “I didn’t realize that even men of the upper crust were like other men.” They both laughed at this and Lucy was pleased when Hannah offered up her now empty glass once again.

  Lucy watched a small robin flit onto a branch of a nearby hedge, causing a single leaf to fall to the ground. Her mind reached out as if in search of a faint memory concerning a hedgerow, but it flitted away just as that bird had before she could grasp onto it. She sighed before turning back to Hannah.

  “All men are disgusting and have been placed on this earth to work for us women,” Lucy explained. “Anything beyond that requires too much thinking skill, something of which they lack. However, make no mistake, whether he be a Duke or a cobbler, he cannot be trusted.”

  Hannah seemed to consider Lucy’s words but made no reply.

  After several quiet moments where the only sounds were the rustling of leaves and the song of birds, Lucy turned to Hannah. “Hannah?” she asked, “do you recall during my visits to Chudleigh Hill, or at any time, the reasons why I married the Duke? Anything at all?”

  Hannah sat thinking for several moments and then replied, “No, nothing. Like I said before, we talked a bit here and there, but we never really talked, you know? But I do remember that your smile grew wider each time you visited.”

  Lucy leaned back into the bench and swirled the remainder of the brandy in her glass. The sky now glowed a deep pink and orange and Lucy knew it would be best if they returned to the house before the sun set.

  As they made their way up the path in silence, Lucy watched the shadows deepen and lengthen. Night would soon arrive and tomorrow would bring on a new day. A new day she hoped would bring back memories.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Doctor Cook stared at Lucy, unblinking, as he rested a finger on his chin. If the purpose of this test was to try her patience, he was doing a splendid job of it.

  Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he leaned back in his chair and gave her a warm smile. “I am pleased that you have had no regression, that is, loss of more memory. I did hear back from my London colleague and he informed me that the only bit of advice he could offer at this point is exactly what Your Grace has been doing already. Simply continue visiting places the two of you have frequented in the past and hope that something prompts her memory.”

  As he was speaking to Andrew and not directly to her, Lucy did not respond. Andrew, however, did. “Thank you, Doctor. I am unsure how the idea came about, but I am glad I did. Hopefully we will see more progress in the near future.”

  Oh, how that man sparked her ire with his devilish grin. However, when he placed a hand on her shoulder, she felt a flush run through her body, a heat that surprised and shocked her. For a moment, panic threatened to overwhelm her and she found breathing difficult.

  “Your Grace?” Doctor Cooke asked, his voice etched with concern, “Are you well?”

  “Y-yes,” she replied as she took the glass of water Andrew offered her. The cool liquid seemed to calm the strange malady that had overtook her, and she felt her body return to normal. “I am afraid I just became a bit overwhelmed with everything that has happened. It all feels so strange, and I find myself quite frustrated at times knowing I should not be feeling this way,
that all this should be familiar to me.”

  “Well, I do not want you to do anything taxing for the next few weeks,” Doctor Cooke said as he stood. “You are to continue with the outings, of course, but I believe that should be the extent of your exertion.”

  Lucy looked up quickly at the doctor, her mind whirling. This could be the excuse she could use to not accompany Andrew to Crookhorn. It was not her intention to be rude, per se, but according to Andrew, they had dined with the Skinners on more than one occasion, and she could not imagine seeing people she barely knew and pretending she recollected previous conversations. “But what of our journey to Crookhorn?” she asked timidly.

  “If it is not a part of your regular outings, and if you believe it will cause excessive distress, then I would recommend you not making that journey. Your well-being is much more important than a dinner.”

  “I do wish I could join you, Andrew, but I believe it will simply be too much for me to bear.” Andrew sighed and she batted her eyelashes at him. “However, if you feel you need me to be there…” She let her statement trail.

  “No, of course not,” Andrew replied. Lucy did not miss the slight narrowing of his eyes before he turned to Doctor Cooke. “Lucy shall remain here to rest, then.”

  “Very good,” the doctor said as he picked up his bag and headed to the door. “I will return in one month’s time to check on our patient’s progress.”